m  m 


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O.CB 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 


Neither  Dead  Nor 
Sleeping 

% 

MAY  WRIGHT  SEW  ALL 


WITH  AN  INTRODUCTION  BY 
BOOTH  TARKINGTON 


INDIANAPOLIS 

THE  BOBBS-MERRILL  COMPANY 
PUBLISHERS 


COPYRIGHT  1920 
THE  BOBBS- MERRILL  COMPANY 


Printed  in  the  "United  States  of  America 


PRESS  OF 

BRAUNWORTH   &  CO. 

BOOK  MANUFACTURERS 

BROOKLYN,   N.  V. 


DEDICATION 

To  all  honest  souls  who  have  hitherto  believed 
the  grave  to  be  a  chasm  and  who  would  be  com- 
forted to  know  that  it  is  a  gate  that  swings  both 
ways  and  can  be  unlocked  by  humans  on  both  sides 
of  it — to  such  I  speak.  May  many  such  find  in  this 
record,  made  in  a  purely  scientific  manner,  illumina- 
tion for  the  intellect,  solace  for  the  heart,  and  stim- 
ulus to  aspiration  of  spirit. 

Mind,  heart  and  spirit — the  power  to  know,  the 
capacity  to  love,  the  tendency  to  aspire — such  is  the 
trinity  that  constitutes  the  being  that  is  incarnated 
in  man's  mortal  body.  These  three  elements  being 
separable  only  from  the  body,  their  mortal  vestment, 
are  never  separable  from  one  another. 

Hence :  To  hearts  that  swell  with  rapture  in  the 
present  enjoyment  of  the  Beloved  or  aohe  with  long- 
ing for  the  Absent,  to  minds  that  love  knowledge 
and  seek  its  increase,  to  spirits  that  aspire  to  know 
their  origin  and  their  destiny,  this  book  is  inscribed 
fry  its  author. 


INTRODUCTION 

I 

BEFORE  venturing  to  offer  a  slight  comment 
upon  Mrs.  Sewall's  strange  manuscript,  the 
writer  feels  that  to  make  clear  his  own  neutral  views 
upon  the  subject  of  "psychic  phenomena"  might  be 
well  in  point.  Therefore,  they  may  be  assembled, 
from  a  previous  expression  of  them,  to  stand  as  fol- 
lows: 

We  are  dwelling  in  the  night.  To  the  man  of 
ten  thousand  years  hence,  who  will  not  be  able  to 
distinguish  through  his  archeological  researches 
which  of  the  forgotten  tribes  fought  the  Great  War 
that  left  the  long  line  of  bones  in  the  subsoil  from 
the  Channel  to  the  Alps — to  that  enlightened  modern 
we  shall  seem  to  have  been  formless  gropers  in  the 
dusk  of  ignorance. 

We  do  not  really  believe  it,  but  that  man  of  ten 
thousand  years  hence  is  actually  going  to  live  and 
speculate  about  us  and  study  the  dust  heaps  which 
we  shall  leave.  He  will  see  that  we  were  dwellers 
in  the  night — in  the  unknown. 

All  this  horror  of  death  is  horror  of  the  unknown. 
Men  face  it  magnificently.  What  would  this  mean : 
that  they  should  face  it  knowing  definitely  what  they 
face? 

.    .    .    Consider  the   Smith   family  of  Topeka, 


INTRODUCTION 

Kansas.  The  Topeka  Smiths  were  twentieth-cen- 
tury people;  they  believed  in  education,  prosperity 
and  clean  politics ;  and  they  knew  a  great  deal  about 
chemistry,  mechanics,  modern  jurisprudence  and 
music. 

There  was  only  one  point  upon  which  they  were 
curiously  provincial,  and  that  was  geography.  Mr. 
Smith,  the  father,  had  an  inexplicable  eccentricity: 
he  was  dismally  superstitious  about  geography ;  and, 
marrying  early,  he  was  able  to  communicate  this 
peculiarity  to  his  wife  so  that  she  came  to  share  it. 
Neither  of  them  had  ever  been  outside  of  Kansas, 
and  neither  wished  ever  to  leave  Kansas.  If  among 
their  acquaintances  there  chanced  to  be  one  who,  in 
their  presence,  referred  to  his  travels,  they  looked 
vaguely  distressed,  and  as  soon  as  possible  changed 
the  subject. 

They  brought  up  their  children  without  any 
knowledge  of  geography,  and  taught  them  to  avoid 
the  mention  of  travel,  as  if  such  a  topic  were  nei- 
ther wholesome  nor  polite ;  so  that  the  children,  too, 
got  the  habit  of  looking  troubled  and  changing  the 
subject  whenever  a  neighbor  spoke  of  going  away 
from  Topeka.  And  when  any  friend  of  the  family 
did  go  upon  a  journey,  or  perchance  accepted  a  busi- 
ness position  in  another  town,  the  Smiths  would 
cease  to  speak  of  him,  except  when  it  was  absolutely 
necessary,  and  they  would  walk  in  silence  if  they 
passed  the  house  he  had  rented  while  he  lived  in 
Topeka.  They  made  no  inquiries  about  him,  and  in 


INTRODUCTION 

every  possible  way  they  tried  to  keep  him  out  of 
their  thoughts.  They  were  through  with  him  if  he 
left  Topeka. 

The  insanest  thing  about  all  this  was  that  the 
Smiths  knew  that  they  themselves  were  going  to 
leave  Topeka  some  day.  Mr.  Smith  was  the  agent 
for  a  harvesting  machine;  he  had  to  go  where  the 
company  ordered  him,  and  the  company's  policy  was 
to  move  its  agents  about  at  indefinite  intervals.  Mrs. 
Smith  and  the  children  would,  of  course,  have  to  go 
wherever  Mr.  Smith  did;  yet  they  never  allowed 
themselves  to  think  of  anything  outside  of  Topeka, 
and  they  considered  people  queer  and  unreliable  who 
spoke  unnecessarily  of  geography. 

The  harvester  company  sent  Mr.  Smith  abroad. 
The  order  came  one  day  without  any  previous  noti- 
fication, and  it  was  so  imperative  that  he  had  no 
time  to  pack  a  trunk.  In  fact,  he  was  at  his  office 
when  he  received  the  message,  and  he  was  obliged 
to  leave  without  even  going  home  to  tell  his  family 
good-by. 

Of  course,  finding  him  gone,  they  knew  he  had 
obeyed  the  company's  order,  and  they  understood 
that  they  must  follow  him ;  yet  they  made  no  effort 
to  discover  to  what  city  abroad  he  had  been  ordered. 
They  did  not  even  make  inquiries  to  see  if  there 
came  a  letter  from  him.  He  was  no  longer  in  To- 
peka; and  that  was  enough  for  them.  Everything 
beyond  Topeka  was  the  Great  Unknown,  and  they 
shivered  and  sorrowed  at  the  thought  of  it. 


INTRODUCTION 

Nevertheless,  the  whole  family  had  to  leave  To- 
peka.  The  mother  went,  a  year  after  the  father; 
but  the  children  did  not  try  to  learn  where  she  had 
gone  or  if  she  had  joined  Mr.  Smith.  Then,  one 
by  one,  the  sons  and  daughters  went ;  but  those  who 
remained  in  Topeka  never  tried  to  discover  whither 
the  others  had  betaken  themselves  or  what  were 
their  experiences  of  travel,  or  the  conditions  in  the 
foreign  place  to  which  they  had  gone.  The  Smith 
children  still  in  Topeka  knew  all  the  time  that  they, 
too,  would  soon  be  going  abroad,  but  they  shiver- 
ingly  declined  to  consider  learning  foreign  lan- 
guages, or  even  to  look  at  time-tables  and  ask  if 
anybody  knew  what  to  do  for  seasickness. 

Having  the  journey  to  make,  they  revolted  at  the 
mere  idea  of  learning  anything  about  what  was  at 
the  other  end  of  it,  because  in  their  hearts  they  be- 
lieved that  there  wouldn't  be  anything  at  all  at  the 
other  end  of  it.  Sometimes  one  of  them  would  mur- 
mur, "But  if  there  should  be — "  And  then  he  would 
shudder  slightly,  and  close  his  mind  to  the  idea,  and 
return  to  his  thought  about  Topeka. 

To  this  day  there  are  still  some  Smiths  left  in 
Topeka.  They  know  they  will  not  be  there  long, 
but  they  are  making  no  preparations  for  travel,  and 
they  think  that  people  who  would  like  to  know  some- 
thing about  geography  are  rather  crazy. 

That  is  the  "attitude  of  civilization"  toward  death 
and  what  may  lie  beyond  death.  Man,  after  a  mil- 
lion years  of  the  struggle  to  think,  is  still  refusing 


INTRODUCTION 

to  recognize  as  a  fit  subject  for  study  that  subject 
which  most  concerns  him.  Here  he  remains  bar- 
baric; he  looks  upon  death  as  an  ultimate  horror 
which  is  "unwholesome  to  dwell  upon."  Man  is  still 
tribal  in  his  attitude  toward  war  because  he  is  still 
tribal  in  his  attitude  toward  death. 

....  Savages  are  somewhat  more  prejudiced 
in  the  matter.  They  will  not  mention  the  dead,  fear- 
ing to  be  haunted,  and  consequently,  though  they 
sometimes  have  legends,  the  historian  can  trace  frag- 
ments of  their  history  only  by  digging  up  their  bury- 
ing-grounds — an  irony  sufficiently  grotesque. 

Man  regards  death  as  so  horrible  that  when  he 
reaches  the  utmost  pitch  of  his  rage  he  inflicts  death 
upon  his  enemies.  When  he  feels  that  life  is  un- 
endurable he  says  the  worst  thing  about  it  that  he 
can  think  of ;  he  says  he  prefers  death.  It  is  true  that 
individuals,  here  and  there,  unbearably  anguished 
by  their  lives,  do  long  for  death ;  and  they  think  of 
death  as  peace,  just  as  in  the  torrid  days  of  sum- 
mer we  think  of  January  as  pleasant;  and,  seeking 
peace,  they  seek  it  blindly  through  suicide.  But  they 
do  not  know  what  they  will  find.  In  their  utter  ig- 
norance they  guess;  and  usually  their  guess  is  that 
they  will  find  nothing.  Nevertheless,  they  may  be 
like  one  of  the  Smiths  of  Topeka  who  decided  finally 
that  city  life  was  not  to  be  borne,  and  got  on  a  train 
which  landed  him  in  Chicago. 

We  do  not  know  that  death  is  nothing.  If  death 
is  nothing,  then  we  still  know  nothing  about  noth- 


INTRODUCTION 

ing.  We  know  no  more  about  death  than  prehis- 
toric man  knew.  We  know  more  than  he  did  about 
how  to  postpone  it  under  certain  conditions,  and 
about  how  to  alleviate  the  physical  pain  of  it;  and, 
using  words  interchangeably,  we  can  make  more 
definitions  of  it  than  he  could;  but  our  ignorance 
of  death  itself  is  precisely  equal  to  his.  This  may 
be  because  we  have  preferred  to  cling  through  the 
ages  to  the  superstition  that  we  could  know  nothing 
about  it. 

There  are  minds  which  wrap  themselves  with  sat- 
isfaction about  a  confusion  of  words,  just  as  tan- 
gled thread  loves  to  knot  itself  always  the  more  in- 
extricably. "Death  is  negation,"  they  urge.  "Death 
is  merely  not  life.  How  can  you  state  positives  of 
a  negative?  You  can  know  only  nothing  about 
nothing,  so  how  can  you  know  something  about 
nothing?"  But  if  they  knew  that  death  is  nothing, 
and  if  they  knew  that  death  is  not  life,  they  would 
know  more  than  Moses  or  Newton  or  Voltaire 
knew,  and  surely  that  would  be  knowing  something. 
Enamored  of  their  wanderings  with  words,  they  do 
not  even  rise  to  the  scientific  height  of  a  guess. 

In  man  there  is  a  profound,  physical  distaste  for 
death  which  extends  itself  to  become  a  distaste  for 
the  investigation  of  death;  he  lets  his  mystics  and 
priests  chant  of  it  vaguely  on  ceremonial  days,  but 
he  really  does  not  wish  to  think  about  it  at  all. 
Therefore,  he  is  naturally  inclined  to  throw  dis- 
credit upon  investigations  and  investigators;  in  a 


INTRODUCTION 

sense  it  is  his  instinct  to  do  so.  Moreover,  certain 
thinkers  (in  their  own  distaste  of  the  subject)  have 
claimed  that  this  very  distaste  is  the  only  basis  of 
man's  hope  of  personal  survival  after  death.  They 
wish  to  dispose  of  the  matter  thus  briefly,  defining 
the  theory  of  "immortality  of  the  soul"  as  merely 
a  by-product  of  man's  instinct  of  self-preservation. 
And  there  are  others  who  say  that  man  got  the  no- 
tion that  he  had  a  soul  through  his  savage  ancestor's 
dreams;  the  savage  woke  from  slumber  and  said: 
"I  have  been  in  strange  places,  obviously  far  away 
from  my  sleeping  body.  Therefore  there  must  be 
two  of  me — the  me  of  my  body,  and  the  me  that 
leaves  my  body  and  goes  away.  Hence,  when  my 
body  dies,  the  me  that  dreamed  may  still  be  alive." 
The  civilized  man's  dream  of  survival  is  only  a  sav- 
age's dream,  after  all,  these  rationalists  say. 

Thus  they  claim  to  have  demolished  the  theory  of 
survival.  But  plainly,  they  may  be  (for  all  they 
know)  exactly  like  the  rational  argufiers  who  may 
have  said,  in  the  year  1491  Anno  Domini:  "The 
earth  is  flat.  Columbus  believes  it  is  round  because 
his  grandfather  had  a  passion  for  round  fruit,  such 
as  oranges  and  apples ;  the  love  of  rotundity  is  inher- 
ent in  his  blood."  To  imagine  the  origin  of  a  desire 
or  a  conception  is  not  to  prove  that  the  thing  de- 
sired or  conceived  has  no  existence,  as  any  hungry 
child  will  demonstrate  to  a  doubter's  satisfaction. 
But  the  strangest  theorist  is  he  who  takes  the  ground 
that  man  is  actually  indifferent  to  death  (because, 


INTRODUCTION 

as  death  approaches,  some  men  and  most  dogs  ap- 
pear to  be  indifferent  to  life)  and  that  therefore, 
since  death  amounts  to  so  little,  it  really  amounts 
to  nothing  and  coincides  with  nothingness. 

There  are  a  hundred  other  kinds  of  argufying, 
and  most  of  the  argufiers  are  Smiths  of  Topeka; 
they  are  superstitious  about  geography.  Many  of 
them  are  cock-sure,  and  there  is  no  other  supersti- 
tion so  superstitious  as  cock-sureness.  And,  as  the 
fundamental  thing  underneath  the  Smiths'  supersti- 
tion was  their  fear  of  a  possible  life  (supposedly 
strange  and  uncomfortable)  outside  the  walls  of 
Topeka,  so  the  fundamental  thing  underneath  the 
superstition  of  many  "skeptic"  theorists  is  the  dread 
of  death  as  a  queer  and  repellent  life.  Often  they 
speak  with  a  fierceness  that  betrays  them :  "Idiot !" 
they  shout.  "Don't  you  know  it's  been  proved  that 
you  can't  know  anything,  because  there  is  nothing 
to  know?"  They  love  to  make  free  with  the  word 
"proved." 

And  with  these  argufiers  march  the  literal-minded 
spiritualists,  the  great  credulous  crowd,  profoundly 
gulled  by  their  own  imaginations.  These  are  the 
people  who  dismiss  investigation  summarily  when 
it  reports  not  in  accord  with  their  preconceived 
fancies  of  what  "spirits"  would  do  and  say.  They 
say  they  "don't  believe  in  spirits,"  but  obviously 
they  do — even  to  the  extent  of  having  determined 
that  spirits  can  never  (for  instance)  be  trivial  or 
humorous ;  and  with  primitive  naivete  they  have  so 


INTRODUCTION 

credulously  pictured  a  heaven,  or  hell,  of  their  own, 
that  evidence  of  anything  different  seems  to  them 
nonsense.  "Why  don't  the  spirits  ever  tell  us  some- 
thing worth  while?"  they  say.  "Why  aren't  the 
spirits  more  dignified?  If  they  communicated  with 
living  people,  do  you  suppose  they'd  be  talking 
about  tintypes?"  The  spirits  they  believe  in,  you 
see,  are  already  constructed  out  of  fancies,  imag- 
inary spirits  finished  in  contour,  gesture  and  tem- 
perament— and  anything  purporting  to  be  a  spirit, 
but  not  fulfilling  the  ready-made  portrait,  is  dis- 
missed as  either  fraud  or  delusion. 

Thus  the  credulous  immigrant  might  decline  to 
take  note  of  Ellis  Island  because  no  one  met  him 
with  platters  of  money.  "This  is  not  America," 
he  might  say.  "America  is  paved  with  gold !" 

And  there  are  the  other  credulous;  those  who 
have  a  strange  notion  that  Nature  necessarily  works 
with  a  kind  of  snobbishness  or  aristocracy  of  ges- 
ture. They  look  for  the  dramatic  and  graceful  in 
her,  expecting  her  to  show  forth  something  Grecian 
in  great  matters;  they  respect  a  thirty-knot  battle- 
ship and  forget  Watts  and  his  teakettle ;  they  would 
like  to  see  Ajax  defying  the  lightning,  but  can  not 
believe  that  Ajax  might  better  have  understood 
what  he  was  about  if  he  had  begun  by  rubbing  a 
cat's  back  in  the  dark  of  a  woodshed.  "What!" 
they  cry.  "Look  for  the  high  dead  among  'me- 
diums/ 'psychics,'  slate-writers,  rappers  and  trance 
babblers  ?  Do  you  expect  Moses  to  be  rapping  Tm 


INTRODUCTION 

all  right*  on  a  four-dollar  table  in  a 'back  parlor 
smelling  of  fried  potatoes?"  The  seeker  answers, 
"I  do  not  expect  Moses.  I  do  not  expect  at  all." 

An  inventor  explained  why  the  Wrights  made  an 
airplane  that  would  fly.  "They  weren't  graduates," 
he  said.  "They  hadn't  been  conventionally  educated 
in  mechanics.  They  hadn't  learned  that  certain 
things  couldn't  be  done — so  they  did  them !"  This 
explains,  incidentally,  why  genius  usually  comes 
from  the  country,  and,  pertinently,  why  it  is  scien- 
tific to  keep  an  open  mind. 

Probably  there  is  no  mind  which  closes  itself  with 
gentler  self-satisfaction  than  that  which  says,  "We 
weren't  meant  to  know."  For  thus  we  manufacture 
our  own  religion  (frequently  upon  the  spot  and  to 
suit  the  emergency  of  the  minute)  setting  up  a  god 
in  our  own  image  and  investing  it  with  a  wisdom 
wholly  the  fabric  of  our  own  inclinations  and  pre- 
ferred ignorances.  "We  aren't  meant  to  know." 
.  .  .  "We  can't  know."  .  .  .  "There  isn't  any- 
thing to  know."  .  .  .  Those  who  prefer  darkness 
may  take  their  choice  of  the  three  "verdicts"  still 
common  in  the  twentieth  century. 

But  many  people  who  say  "We  aren't  meant  to 
know"  will  deny  their  love  of  darkness.  "We  live 
by  faith,"  they  add.  "We  believe  in  the  many  man- 
sions in  His  Father's  house,  and  in  'If  it  were  not  so 
I  would  have  told  you.' '  Yet  they  hold  that  there 
is  a  kind  of  impiety  in  seeking  to  follow  this  great 
hint  of  Christ's  to  further  understanding  of  what 


INTRODUCTION 

He  meant.  He  did  not  forbid :  it  is  they  who  forbid. 
They  say,  "We  are  judged  by  the  extent  of  our 
faith,"  which  may  easily  mean  that  the  harder  a 
thing  is  to  believe,  the  more  credit  to  him  who  be- 
lieves it. 

That  is,  the  prophets  did  not  do  everything  they 
possibly  could  to  make  their  followers  understand 
their  meaning  in  so  far  as  the  followers'  minds  were 
capable,  but,  on  the  contrary,  the  prophets  were  de- 
liberately puzzling  in  order  to  test  the  faith  of  the 
followers  and  make  salvation  difficult.  Strange, 
for  there  are  the  parables,  to  show  what  pains  were 
taken  to  stir  the  least  imaginative  toward  compre- 
hension. Mystics  always  hope  that  science  will  some 
day  overtake  them. 

The  rich  woman  said :  "But  it  wouldn't  be  right 
for  the  world  to  have  no  poor.  Charity  is  the  great- 
est of  all  virtues  and  there  could  be  no  charity  if 
there  were  no  poor."  Her  thought  was  not  far 
from  that  which  maintains :  "We  were  not  meant  to 
know,  because  knowing  would  leave  no  room  for 
faith;  hence  efforts  to  know  are  irreligious."  To 
live  by  faith  is  indeed  not  to  walk  in  darkness ;  but 
it  is  to  walk  in  only  the  dream  of  light. 

But  there  are  dreamers  enough  who  think  they 
have  found  true  and  actual  light  in  their  quest 
among  the  mountebanks  and  "mediums."  Sleight- 
of-hand,  cunning  guesswork  and  exhibitions  of  per- 
fectly honest  forms  of  catalepsy  bring  their  rewards 
to  both  the  performer  and  the  bereft  searchers  for 


INTRODUCTION 

consolation.  It  is  not  strange  that  eyes  swimming 
in  tears  fill  themselves  with  watery  visions.  That 
is  what  they  want  to  do,  poor  things ;  and  the  frauds 
have  only  the  task  of  suggesting  how  the  stricken 
souls  may  deceive  themselves.  The  seeker  for  the 
truth  about  survival  (whether  the  truth  be  consola- 
tion or  not)  must  know  that  his  way  lies  through  a 
maze,  which  one  enters  trying  to  find  a  path  that 
will  take  him  out  on  the  opposite  side.  There  are  a 
thousand  fraudulent  bypaths  and  he  must  learn  to 
recognize  at  their  entrances  the  little  marks  which 
show  that  the  way  out  does  not  lie  there — and  yet 
the  true  path  may  be  disguised  by  these  same  little 
marks.  The  seeker's  heart  must  be  steady  and  his 
head  cool ;  he  will  see  queer  things  at  which  he  must 
remember  to  laugh,  and  his  elbow  will  be  plucked 
by  hands  reaching  from  many  a  curious  cul-de-sac. 
If  he  becomes  bewildered  he  will  see  things  that  do 
not  exist,  and  he  may  begin  to  babble  nonsense.  And 
though  he  might  never  find  the  true  path,  he  must 
not  deny  (if  he  would  claim  to  have  remained  rea- 
sonable) that  a  true  path  may  exist.  For,  in  a  maze, 
if  there  are  one  million  paths,  and  a  man,  in  his 
lifetime,  explore  nine-hundred-thousand  of  them,  all 
leading  nowhere,  he  is  entitled  to  state  no  more  than 
his  experience.  That  experience  may  incline  him  to 
the  opinion  that  no  true  path  exists,  but  all  opinions 
have  still  the  right  to  differ,  so  long  as  they  are  but 
opinions.  And  if  among  the  millions  of  "spirit-mes- 
sages" received  through  "mediums"  or  "psychics," 


INTRODUCTION 

or  what-not,  by  means  of  "raps,"  "slate-writing," 
"automatic  writing,"  "ouija-boards,"  "clairvoyance," 
"clairaudience"  or  any  other  generally  uncredited 
and  widely  discredited  manifestation — if  in  all  this 
vast  mass  of  alleged  evidence  purporting  through 
the  ages  to  reveal  the  thoughts  of  "disembodied 
spirits" — if  in  all  this  there  be  one  veritable  message 
from  a  person  whose  body  is  dead,  then  the  case  for 
survival  is  made;  this  dead  person  is  alive  (or  was 
alive  after  his  death)  and  the  possibility  of  the  sur- 
vival of  others  is  demonstrated.  And  who  could 
prove  that  there  has  never  been  one  such  message? 
Only  a  person  who  had  investigated  and  exposed  all 
messages;  and  he  could  not  prove  that  a  veritable 
message  might  not  come  in  the  future. 

.  .  .  The  known  is  never  horrible  except  as 
death  or  pain  may  come  of  it,  and  we  begin  to  see 
that  pain  is  only  a  prompting  to  us  to  educate  our- 
selves in  the  law.  "Fear  is  hell" — and  we  begin  to 
guess  that  fear  is  only  ignorance.  All  this  horror 
of  an  inevitable  condition — this  fear  of  death,  a 
fear  which  is  an  anguish  even  to  little  children — is 
wrong.  The  child  fears  the  dark,  yet  there  is  noth- 
ing in  the  dark  that  is  not  in  the  light — except  the 
light  itself — and  so  there  may  be  nothing  in  death 
that  is  not  in  life,  if  we  had  the  light  to  see.  If 
death  is  life,  with  "progress  and  problems"  like  those 
in  what  we  call  life,  then  we  should  not  fear  it.  Or, 
if  it  were  peace,  we  should  not  fear  it.  We  fear  it 
because  we  imagine  it  is  darkness — yet  that  is  one 


INTRODUCTION 

thing  which  it  can  not  be.  Nothing  is  not  darkness. 
For  that  matter,  of  course,  death  can  not  be  noth- 
ing, in  the  literal  sense.  When  we  say  "Death  is 
annihilation"  we  mean  only  that  "personal  conscious- 
ness" does  not  survive  the  change  called  death. 

Pain  is  a  hint  for  better  education,  and  dread  of 
death  is  a  form  of  pain ;  it  is  a  revulsion  caused  by 
the  unfamiliar  or  the  unknown.  It  is  Nature  kick- 
ing us  for  not  knowing.  In  other  words,  horror  of 
death,  being  in  part  our  revolt  against  not  knowing 
what  death  is — our  fear  of  thinking  about  it — is 
what  ought  to  make  us  think  about  it.  So  a  child, 
locked  in  a  dark  room,  will  sometimes  stretch  forth 
his  hand  to  explore,  because  his  fear  of  what  his 
hand  may  touch  is  so  great  that  he  must  explore! 
Fear  should  be  the  ancestor  of  curiosity,  and  out  of 
the  hell  of  fear  may  come  the  good  thing,  the  wish- 
to-know.  That  is  the  most  benevolent  of  all  the  de- 
sires ;  in  obedience  to  it  the  boy  takes  a  watch  apart, 
to  see  what  a  watch  is  made  of;  and  a  novelist  takes 
life  apart  to  see  what  life  is  made  of — for  artists 
are  only  scientists  working  in  intuition  instead  of  in 
a  laboratory.  But  boys  and  artists  may  only  suggest 
things ;  they  do  not  prove  them. 

Now,  certain  men  have  said  that  they  have  evi- 
dence of  survival,  and  some  of  these  men  are  scien- 
tists— even  scientists  by  profession.  If  they  have  the 
evidence  which  they  say  they  have,  then  it  is  going 
to  be  possible  to  establish,  before  very  long,  the  most 
important  fact  that  can  affect  mankind.  There  is 


INTRODUCTION 

ho  doubt  that  these  men  believe  the  evidence;  and 
their  critics,  unable  to  assail  their  sincerity,  attack 
them  upon  the  point  of  gullibility. 

But  this  leads  a  person  of  open  mind  to  suspect 
the  critics  of  a  gullibility  of  their  own;  that  is,  they 
may  be  gulled  by  their  prejudices.  They  are  indeed 
thus  gulled  if  they  declare  Sir  Oliver  Lodge  to  be 
gullible  because  Sir  Oliver  claims  to  receive  mes- 
sages from  a  dead  person.  To  show  Sir  Oliver  gul- 
lible, the  critics  must  prove  the  messages  to  be  fraud 
or  delusion.  They  prove  only  their  own  superstition 
who  say,  by  implication :  "But  spirits  do  not  do  thus 
and  so;  and  they  do  not  speak  thus  and  so."  No 
doubt  serious  investigators  have  been  gulled;  that 
means  nothing  of  importance;  secret  service  men 
have  had  lead  quarters  passed  "on"  them.  The  ques- 
tion is,  whether  or  not  the  investigators  have  ever 
found  true  metal — if  it  were  even  a  centime!  Most 
of  them  believe  they  have ;  and  therein  is  a  circum- 
stance of  such  significance  as  may  give  us  strangely 
to  think,  if  we  will  take  leisure  to  note  it :  of  all  the 
men  professionally  of  science  who  have  seriously 
and  persistently  investigated  and  studied  the  alleged 
phenomena  of  "spiritualism,"  the  overwhelming  ma- 
jority have  drawn  the  conclusion,  as  a  result  of  their 
patient  researches,  that  there  is  personal  survival  of 
death. 

Only  levity  sneers  at  them  now — at  these  patient 
men  who  have  sought  truth  in  the  dust-heap.  They 
have  not  yet  failed;  neither  have  they  shown  the 


INTRODUCTION 

truth — if  they  have  found  it — so  that  all  men  may 
see  it  and  know  that  it  is  indeed  truth.  Their  task 
is  heavy,  but  it  is  the  greatest  one,  for  it  is  the  task 
that  must  be  done  before  civilization  can  begin.  To 
lift  the  burden  of  the  unknown  from  the  human 
soul — to  destroy  the  great  darkness;  that  is  the 
work  which  engages  them.  Men  can  not  be  sane  in 
the  daylight  until  the  night  becomes  knowable. 

II 

I  have  spoken  of  Mrs.  Sewall's  manuscript  as  a 
"strange"  one;  and  the  adjective  may  be  properly 
exploited  if  we  pause  to  consider,  as  we  say,  "who 
Mrs.  Sewall  is." 

She  graduated  from  The  Northwestern  Uni- 
versity in  1872.  As  a  young  woman  she  was  Su- 
perintendent of  Public  Schools  at  Plainwell,  Mich. ; 
then  Principal  of  a  High  School  at  Franklin,  Ind. ; 
then  a  teacher  of  German  (and,  later,  of  English) 
in  the  Indianapolis  High  School.  In  1882  she  and 
her  husband  founded  the  Classical  School  for  Girls, 
at  Indianapolis,  and  this  school  became  a  flourish- 
ing institution,  widely  known  throughout  the  coun- 
try. Mrs.  Sewall  was  its  Principal  for  twenty-five 
years;  and  during  the  time  of  her  residence  in  In- 
dianapolis the  city  was  in  her  debt  for  a  great  many 
things,  as  any  old  citizen  will  tell  you.  Indeed,  I 
think  that  in  company  with  General  Harrison  and 
Mr.  Riley,  she  would  necessarily  have  been  chosen 


INTRODUCTION 

(in  the  event  of  a  contest  in  such  a  matter)  as  one 
of  the  "three  most  prominent  citizens"  of  the  place. 
She  founded,  or  aided  to  found,  the  Woman's 
Club  of  Indianapolis;  and  the  Contemporary  Club 
of  Indianapolis;  was  President  of  both;  she  was  an 
organizer  of  the  General  Federation  of  Women's 
Clubs;  of  the  Art  Association  of  Indianapolis;  of 
the  Propylaeum  Association;  of  the  Local  Council 
of  Women,  and  of  the  local  branch  of  the  Alliance 
Francaise.  From  1881  to  1888  she  was  chairman 
of  the  Executive  Committee  of  the  National 
Woman's  Suffrage  Association;  she  organized  the 
National  Council  of  Women  of  the  United  States, 
and  the  International  Council  of  Women.  She  was 
President  of  the  World's  Congress  of  Representa- 
tive Women,  in  the  "World's  Fair  Year" ;  and  was 
appointed  by  President  McKinley,  in  1899,  to  rep- 
resent the  women  of  the  United  States  at  the  series 
of  congresses  for  L' Exposition  Universelle  at  Paris 
in  1900.  She  is  now  Honorary  President  of  the 
International  Council  of  Women,  and  of  the  Na- 
tional Council  of  Women  of  the  United  States; 
Honorary  Vice-President  of  the  International  New 
Thought  Alliance;  Director  of  the  National  League 
for  the  Conservation  of  Childhood  ;  American  Com- 
missioner in  the  International  Women's  League  for 
Permanent  Peace;  she  is  a  member  of  Sorosis;  of 
the  Professional  Women's  Club  of  Boston;  of  the 
National  Civic  Reform  Association;  of  The  Lyceum 
Club  of  London;  of  La  Societe  Psychologique  and 


INTRODUCTION 

of  L'Union  Internationale  des  Sciences  ei  des  Arts 
of  Paris.  My  mind  refuses  to  follow  her  further 
into  clubs,  associations,  leagues,  alliances,  offices  and 
commissions — one  can  give  only  a  bird's-eye  or 
Who's  Who  view  of  the  accumulated  mass  of  them. 
But  the  synopsis  is  sufficient  to  sketch  the  outward 
Mrs.  Sewall ;  it  gives  at  least  a  line-drawing  of  her 
as  we  knew  her  in  Indianapolis — a  glittering  figure 
dealing  with  other  luminaries  in  the  world  beyond 
Indiana,  and  every  now  and  then  bringing  one  or  two 
of  these  great  people  to  her  salon  on  Pennsylvania 
Street,  where  she  generously  asked  large  numbers  of 
us  to  take  tea  with  them.  We  found  her  always  equal 
to  any  strain  put  upon  her  by  her  celebrities  or  by 
ourselves.  She  talked  "quite  wonderfully"  (as  the 
phrase  goes)  and  always  readily — nearly  always 
smilingly,  too;  and  with  an  urbane  cadence  which 
could,  when  necessary,  produce,  without  ceasing  to 
be  urbane,  the  effect  of  spirited  vehemence. 

She  was  a  very  leading  citizen,  indeed,  in  those 
days  of  her  greatest  activity  in  Indianapolis;  and 
the  deference  shown  her  was  almost  undemocratic. 
Many  took  her  for  their  ruler  and  oracle,  whether 
or  no  she  wished  them  for  subjects;  and  she  was 
undeniably  the  head  of  the  academy;  though  I  think 
her  own  tendency  was  always  more  liberal  than 
academic.  In  fact,  as  one  sees  now,  she  was  more 
than  liberal — she  was  out  on  the  unknown  sea,  all 
by  herself. 

...    I  had  not  seen  Mrs.  Sewall  for  many  years 


INTRODUCTION 

when,  in  1918,  she  wrote,  asking  me  to  come  to  a 
corner  of  Maine,  where  she  was,  to  talk  over  a 
manuscript  of  hers.  In  her  letter  she  gave  no  hint 
of  its  nature;  and  I  had  the  impression  of  her  just 
sketched;  I  supposed  her  book  must  be  "something 
educational."  Altogether,  when  I  found  what  it 
was,  I  simultaneously  discovered  myself  to  be  in  a 
condition  of  astonishment  which  was  not  abated  by 
a  detailed  study  of  the  manuscript. 

The  amazing  thing  was,  first,  that  it  was  written 
by  Mrs.  Sewall.  There  is  no  lack  of  "messages 
from  the  dead"  in  typewriting  and  in  print,  nowa- 
days; we  have  book  on  book,  perhaps  too  many; 
but  it  was  to  me  dum founding  to  find  that  for  more 
than  twenty  years  this  academic-liberal  of  a  thou- 
sand human  activities,  Mrs.  Sewall,  had  been  really 
living  not  with  the  living,  so  to  put  it.  And  as  I 
read,  it  seemed  to  me  that  I  had  never  known  so 
strange  a  story;  and  at  times,  dwelling  upon  her 
long  struggle  to  cure  her  malady,  and  to  make  her- 
self a  proper  messenger  for  those  known  to  us  every- 
day people  as  dead,  it  seemed  again  that  these  al- 
most grotesquely  painful  sacrifices  of  the  flesh  were 
recorded,  not  of  a  modern  lady  of  the  world,  but  of 
some  medieval  penitent,  feeding  upon  snow  by  day 
and  lying  prayerful  upon  a  bed  of  cinders  at  night, 
seeking  to  become  a  spirit. 

Now,  of  one  thing  I  think  there  can  be  no  ques- 
tion: Mrs.  Sewall  did  put  away  a  malady  pro- 
nounced fatal.  Nor  will  any  reader  believe  that  she 


INTRODUCTION 

has  intentionally  deceived  herself  during  the  long 
experience  with  "supernatural  beings"  which  she  has 
outlined  for  us.  It  appears  that  we  have  a  choice  of 
three  explanations,  none  of  which  really  explains : 

1.  Mrs.  Sewall  is  laboring  under  a  hallucination, 
or  a  series  of  hallucinations,  continuing  more  than 
twenty  years. 

2.  The  communications  purporting  to  be  from 
the  dead  are  really  the  work  of  an  inner  self  of 
hers,  sometimes  called  a  subconsciousness.    This  is, 
or  is  related  to,  the  part  of  our  minds  that  constructs 
our  dreams;  and  is  capable  of  far  more  wonderful 
performances  than  most  psychologists  yet  admit  to 
be  demonstrated. 

3.  The  communications  are,  as  Mrs.  Sewall  be- 
lieves them  to  be,  from  people  we  speak  of  as  dead ; 
but  really  they  live. 

The  first  "explanation"  (though  doubtless  there 
are  some  who  will  prefer  it)  may  be  dismissed.  The 
document  before  us  is  strange  enough.  To  believe 
it  the  record  of  hallucination  would  be  to  make 
it  too  strange.  I  think  the  truth  must  rest  between 
the  second  and  third.  Probably  there  were  profes- 
sional "mediums,"  here  and  there,  who  imposed 
upon  Mrs.  Sewall.  Once  she  had  accepted  the"  mir- 
acle as  fact  she  may  have  been  too  ready  to  accept 
anything  as  another  demonstration  of  the  fact ;  and 
she  has  a  habit  of  courtesy  that  might  too  much  re- 
fuse to  be  destructive  or  skeptical.  But  the  mention 
of  professional  "mediums"  is  only  a  trifle  in  the 


INTRODUCTION 

narrative;  it  is  with  Mrs.  Sewall  herself  as  a  "me- 
dium" that  we  are  concerned.  And  either  her  sub- 
consciousness,  her  dream-maker,  has  been  up  to  a 
dumfounding  prodigy  of  dream-building,  or  else 
Mrs.  Sewall  has  been  in  communication  with  living 
people  whom  we  have  thought  of  as  dead. 

Readers  of  Harper's  Monthly  Magazine  were  sur- 
prised to  come  across  Beres ford's  article  on  "A  New 
Form  of  Matter"  in  that  conservative  fastness.  It 
was  a  brief  account  of  laboratory  experiments  with 
manifesting  "mediums";  matter  exuded  from  the 
"medium" ;  so  it  was  found.  The  point  is  that  mat- 
ter, not  spirit,  caused  raps,  levitation  and  other  phe- 
nomena of  the  kind.  The  experiments  of  Doctor 
Crawford  in  Ireland  and  other  work  with  such 
manifestations  elsewhere,  corroborate  the  Beres  ford 
account.  The  announcement  is  confidently  made 
that  the  accepted  theories  (believed  to  be  fundamen- 
tal facts  indeed)  of  physiology  are  about  to  be  badly 
upset.  On  this  point  we  may  reserve  judgment;  but 
it  is  a  coincidence  worth  noticing  that  the  remarks 
of  Theodore  Lovett  Sewall  (as  given  by  Mrs.  Sewall 
in  the  appendix  of  this  book)  upon  the  nature  and 
properties  of  matter  and  spirit  appear  to  have  an- 
ticipated the  Beres  ford  and  the  Crawford  revela- 
tions and  in  some  measure  to  have  offered  an  ex- 
planation of  them.  There  is  a  significance  in  such 
a  coincidence,  very  suggestive:  either  we  have  a 
veritable  Mr.  Sewall  telling  us  authoritatively  about 
something  upon  which  he  is  rightly  informed;  or 


else  Mrs.  Sewall's  subconsciousness  knew  about 
these  or  similar  laboratory  experiments  and  made  up 
a  hypothesis  for  them  and  revealed  it  to  her. 

.  .  .  Whatever  a  reader  may  choose  as  a  defini- 
tion for  this  most  extraordinary  book,  there  is  one 
thing  infallibly  true  of  it.  In  a  sense,  a  deceptive 
book  can  not  be  written :  the  character  of  the  writer 
can  not  be  concealed,  must  inevitably  stand  forth 
unsheltered.  Arid  the  one  thing  most  vivid  here  is 
good  will — the  longing,  in  all  humility,  to  be  of 
great  help  to  the  world.  That  explanation  of  Mrs. 
Sewall's  book  is  undeniable. 

BOOTH  TARKINGTON. 


PREFACE 

DURING  my  adult  life,  to  August  10,  1897, 
my  motto  had  been,  "One  World  at  a  Time." 
From  that  date  I  have,  with  more  or  less  persistency, 
knocked  at  doors  whose  existence  was  then  dis- 
closed to  me  by  gleams  of  light  that  seemed  to  pro- 
ceed from  other  planes. 

That  the  perceptions,  instructions,  knowledges, 
delusions,  illusions  (call  them  what  you  will)  re- 
corded in  this  volume  are  the  debris  left  on  the 
shores  of  normal  consciousness  by  an  unexpected 
wave  that  has  swept  over  them  from  the  ocean  of 
subconsciousness,  will  undoubtedly  be  urged  as  an 
explanation  of  the  experiences  here  recorded. 

This  explanation  demands  a  definition.  What  is 
subconsciousness?  No  definition  that  I  have  heard 
has  brought  me  nearer  knowledge.  Most  definitions 
substitute  for  any  word  under  consideration  other 
words  whose  respective  meanings  are  more  obvious. 
In  this  instance  the  definitions  either  assume  what 
remains  to  be  proved  or  are  themselves  not  easily 
definable. 

The  certainty  that  capacities  hitherto  unused  by 
me  have  been  discovered  to  be  my  possession,  and 
the  equally  sure  conviction  that  I  possess  no  capacity 
not  possessed  by  all  humans,  lead  me  to  feel  the 
need  of  a  new  psychology  that  will  extend  man's 
knowledge  of  man. 


PREFACE 

In  nature  things  are  not  real,  any  more  than  they 
are  strong,  any  more  than  they  are  valuable  in  pro- 
portion to  their  size  and  their  obtrusiveness. 

The  most  real,  the  most  productive,  the  most 
powerful  forces  are  often  the  finest,  the  most  subtle, 
the  most  elusive.  Such  are  ether  and  magnetism, 
of  which  much  is  said  in  the  following  pages. 

These  I  believe  to  be  the  subtle  material  forces, 
an  understanding  of -which  is  indispensable  to  the 
next  forward  step  of  our  race ;  these  forces  must  be 
acknowledged,  studied,  caged,  analyzed,  mastered 
and  directed  that  human  progress  may  not  be  hin- 
dered by  skepticism,  by  superstition  or  by  inertness. 

My  personal  acquaintance  with  many  recogniza- 
ble varieties  of  magnetism  and  with  many  mani- 
festations of  ether  and  my  conviction  of  their  benefic 
potency  compel  me  to  submit  to  the  public  this 
merely  indicative  account  of  an  early  stage  of  my 
subtle  experiences  with  these  forms  of  finer  matter. 
I  do  this  at  great  sacrifice  of  that  feeling,  whether 
one  call  it  modesty  or  timidity,  which  still  inclines 
me  to  reticence.  However,  even  to  date  my  ac- 
quaintance with  these  finer  forms  of  matter  con- 
tinues and  I  take  the  public  into  my  confidence  in 
the  hope  that  among  my  readers  there  may  be  an  oc- 
casional man  or  woman  trained  to  scientific  investi- 
gation who  will  find  in  this  story  some  clues  which, 
patiently  followed,  may  lead  to  the  sources  of  that 
knowledge  which  is  power.  As  the  growth  of  man's 
knowledge  of  the  world  has  from  time  to  time  de- 


PREFACE 

manded  a  new  geography,  a  new  physics  and  a  new 
chemistry,  so  the  growth  of  man's  knowledge  of 
himself  even  now  demands  a  new  physiology  and  a 
new  psychology. 

M.  W.  S. 


CONTENTS 

PART  ONE 

THE  AWAKENING 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

I    CONVINCED  OF  CONTINUED  LIFE  THROUGH  LETTERS 

RECEIVED  FROM  RECENTLY  DECEASED  HUSBAND  .  1 
The  Sewall  creed.  Theodore  Lovett  Sewall  dies. 
Why  the  creed  was  changed.  Husband's  efforts  to 
make  himself  known  finally  successful.  In  the 
Spiritualists'  Camp,  Lily  Dale,  New  York;  experi- 
ences ;  psychic  forces  at  work ;  slate-writing,  etc. 
Unusual  messages  received.  Sees,  talks  with  and 
receives  letters  from  husband,  mother,  father, 
niece,  grandfather.  Keeps  careful  and  accurate 
record  of  each  incident.  Learns  of  first  surprise 
of  nominally  dead — their  skepticism;  how  finally 
overcome.  Etheric  agencies  promise  to  establish 
a  magnetic  connection  between  planes.  Deter- 
mines not  to  be  "disobedient  to  heavenly  vision, 
but  to  follow  the  gleam." 

II    MATTERS    PERTAINING  TO   ETHERIC   PLANE,    UN- 
USUAL EXPERIENCES  AND  REVELATIONS  THROUGH 

FAMOUS  MEDIUMS 16 

Receives  letters  from  husband  through  psychic 
strangers  as  well  as  friends.  Through  trumpet 
hears  relatives'  voices  calling  by  names  used  only 
in  close  family  circle.  Note  from  Frances  E.  Wil- 
lard,  deceased.  In  Buffalo  receives  communica- 
tions from  husband  and  relatives  in  which  they 
foretell  approaching  events.  Tappings  in  ear. 
Curious  experience  in  Chicago.  Husband  declares 
dead  grow  by  helping  those  still  on  earth.  Im- 
pression the  most  reliable  form  of  communication 
between  dead  and  living.  London;  meets  William 


CONTENTS-Conh'nued 

CHAPTER  PACK 

T.  Stead.  Stead  serves  as  medium  for  letters  from 
husband.  Automatic  writing  in  broad  day.  Ex- 
periences with  foremost  medium  in  Great  Britain. 
Husband  talks  directly  with  wife  through  medium. 
Refers  to  luncheon  in  Rochester  where  he  under- 
stood all  that  took  place.  What  happens  when  we 
sleep.  Meets  Lamonti.  Dead  suffer  from  inability 
to  reach  living  as  living  suffer  from  inability  to 
reach  dead.  Urged  by  husband  to  say  nothing  of 
psychic  experiences  until  she  can  maintain  herself 
against  criticism. 


Ill  INTERESTING  COMMUNICATIONS  FROM  FRIENDS 
WHO,  PRIOR  TO  DEATH,  DID  NOT  BELIEVE  IN 
SURVIVAL.  ETHERIC  MAGNETISM  AND  OTHER 
FORCES 63 

Independent  slate-writing.  Letters  from  dead 
friends  who  had  not  believed  in  survival.  Re- 
joice to  give  assurance  that  life  goes  on.  Heaven 
not  a  "location,"  but  a  "condition  which  comes  to 
us."  New  psychic  experience  in  Buffalo.  Intro- 
duced by  husband  to  Greek  philosopher,  Hermes, 
who  declares  nominally  dead,  under  certain  con- 
ditions, have  power  to  return  to  earth  life.  Les- 
sons in  concentration.  Band  of  workers.  London ; 
famous  medium  visited.  Husband  has  now  pro- 
gressed to  point  where  he  can  understand  without 
articulate  speech.  Etheric  magnetism — a  new  force 
and  its  power, — vitalizes ;  revives  flowers.  Knowl- 
edge of  the  reality  of  phenomena  increases.  Cau- 
tion needed  because  crowds  of  spirits  are  eager 
to  send  messages  to  earth  through  "any  open 
door,"  hence  a  grave  danger  accompanies  all 
psychic  investigation.  The  telegraphic  code  of 
communication.  Experience  in  Chicago;  watches 
development  of  portrait  done  by  new  process  by 
pupil  of  Raphael.  Hangs  portrait  in  home,  where 
it  is  noticed  and  commented  on  by  friends. 


CONTENTS— Continued 

CHAPTER  PACK 

IV  AT  SPIRITUALISTS'  CAMP.  HUSBAND  ETHEREALIZES. 
MOTHER  TELLS  OF  HER  HOME  IN  OTHER  WORLD. 
REAL  MANSIONS 95 

A  year  crowded  with  work.  Visit  from  actress 
who  is  psychic.  Serves  as  medium  for  many  com- 
munications. Letters  received  from  actors  since 
and  including  time  of  Shakespeare.  In  Paris;  an 
uninvited  stranger  attends  reception.  Husband 
uses  medium  to  re-establish  a  temporarily  broken 
series  of  communications.  New  method  of  French 
medium.  At  home  in  Indianapolis  again.  Visit 
from  actress  when  unusual  psychic  experiences 
occur.  Photograph  of  Judas  obtained  at  Oberam- 
mergau  disintegrates.  Slow  growth  of  psychic 
powers  best.  Second  visit  to  Spiritualists'  Camp, 
Lily  Dale,  New  York.  For  first  time  husband 
etherealizes.  Mother  declares  there  are  real  man- 
sions. Frances  E.  Willard's  voice  heard;  makes 
characteristic  comments  on  public  affairs.  Hus- 
band urges  writer  to  guard  her  health;  expresses 
anxiety  about  proper  nourishment.  Summary  of 
convictions  deducted  from  trip  to  Lily  Dale  and 
events  preceding. 

V  ATTACKED  BY  DISEASE  PRONOUNCED  INCURABLE. 
REFUSES  MEDICAL  AID.  RUBINSTEIN  AND  PERE 
CONDE  INTRODUCED  BY  HUSBAND 118 

Work  increases.  Health  breaks  down.  Physician 
visits  her  as  friend  and  is  allowed  to  diagnose 
case.  Pronounced  Bright's  disease  in  an  advanced 
state.  Cure  impossible,  but  medicine  will  relieve 
discomfort  and  abate  advancement.  Refuses  this 
medical  attention.  Has  no  fear  of  death.  Enters 
on  a  summer  of  hard  work,  and  superintends  ad- 
dition to  Girls'  Classical  School;  keeps  two  secre- 
taries busy;  numerous  duties  calling  for  much 
labor  through  long  hours.  Enabled  to  go  on  only 
by  curious  electrical  currents  which  invigorate  and 
buoy  up.  Ouija-board  introduced  merely  as  a 


CONTENTS— Continued 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

means  for  establishing  communication  with  hus- 
band. When  accomplished,  husband  insists  that  it 
be  put  away  and  never  used  again.  Pencil  and  pa- 
per or  impression  on  mind  recommended.  Receives 
communications  through  automatic  writing.  Mr. 
Sewall,  Rubinstein  and  Pere  Conde  as  first  teach- 
ers. The  beginning  of  wonderful  friendships. 

PART  TWO 
A  PROMISE  FULFILLED — THE  STORY  OF  MY  NOVITIATE 

VI    RUBINSTEIN  SELECTS  PIANO  AND  DIRECTS  EXERCISE 
AND  PRACTISE.  GREAT  MASTER'S  LIFE  AND  WORK 

ON  ETHERIC  PLANE.  PERE  CONDE 133 

Through  Pere  Conde  provision  is  made  for  a 
prescribed  massage.  Benefited  by  treatments.  Ru- 
benstein  insists  upon  purchase  of  piano.  Buys 
piano  selected  by  Rubinstein.  Skeptical.  Has  no 
appreciation  of  music.  Exercises  begin.  Rubin- 
stein's life  artd  work  on  Etheric  Plane.  Conducts 
large  conservatory  there.  Time  most  difficult  con- 
dition for  dead  to  remember.  Consciously  receives 
impressions  of  thoughts  from  minds  of  those  on 
Etheric  Plane.  Rubinstein  gives  definition  of  "lis- 
tening." In  spite  of  strain  of  hard  work,  grows 
stronger  and  better.  Hears  husband's  voice  with- 
out medium  or  trumpet.  Urged  to  observe  every 
experience  and  use  all  intelligence  possible  to  un- 
derstand. Faith  the  food  of  the  soul.  Regimen 
for  work  and  exercises  prescribed.  Severe  disci- 
pline. Exercises  to  become  more  rigid  as  time  ad- 
vances. Supplement  to  chapter  deals  in  detail  with 
Rubinstein's  selection  of  piano. 

VII    MASTERS  UNMAKE  AND  BEGIN  REMAKING  PHYSI- 
CAL ORGANISM.    EATS  AND  SLEEPS  LITTLE,  BUT 

GROWS  CONSTANTLY  STRONGER 167 

Pere  Conde's  first  long  letter  communicated  inde- 
pendently. Permitted  to  have  an  exceptional  ex- 
perience. To  restore  health  must  make  over  physi- 


CONTENTS— Continued 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

cal  organism.  First  necessary  to  unmake.  Re- 
quires long  hours  of  fasting  and  exercise.  Task 
of  restoration  enormous,  but  not  impossible.  Res- 
toration begins.  Conde  heals  body  as  physician. 
Author  is  constantly  bathed  in  magnetisms  from 
Etheric  Plane.  Begins  fasting  under  direction  of 
Conde.  Head  of  priest  becomes  plainly  visible. 
Difficult  to  fast,  but  persists.  Grows  stronger 
daily.  Body  being  remade.  Perception  of  rich  and 
delicate  perfumes.  Physical  weakness.  Is  put  to 
severe  test  because  of  fast.  Comes  out  of  it 
stronger.  Continues  fasting  and  exercises  for 
seven  months.  Exercises  under  direction  of  Ru- 
binstein. Pere  Conde  writes  something  of  him- 
self and  his  life  on  earth.  Fasting  grows  more 
rigid.  Is  told  health  of  body  and  mind  are  essen- 
tial to  work  before  her,  and  these  depend  on 
obedience.  Urged  not  to  boast  or  explain. 

VIII  UNEXPECTED  AND  SENSATIONAL  INTRODUCTION  OF 
MESMER.  HYPNOTISM — How  TO  DETECT  AND  RE- 
SIST IT.  CURED  OF  INCREDULITY 192 

Concludes  first  part  of  fast.  Now  able  to  sit  with 
paper  in  front  of  her  and  watch  communications 
arrive  without  use  of  pencil.  Letters  on  important 
subjects.  Light  thrown  on  psychic  experiences 
and  conditions  found  on  Etheric  Plane.  Told  how 
to  detect  and  resist  hypnotic  influence.  Worried 
— prays  for  indisputable  evidence  that  thoughts, 
words  and  actions  originate  outside  of  her 
own  mind.  Suddenly  stands  on  one  foot  on  top 
of  small  writing  table  and  leaps  from  top  of  one 
piece  of  furniture  to  another.  Rebels  against  con- 
trol of  mind  by  outside  influence.  Is  told  this 
demonstration  is  given  in  answer  to  prayer  for 
indisputable  evidence  that  such  a  condition  does 
exist.  Cured  of  incredulity.  Sensational  introduc- 
tion of  Mesmer.  He  talks  simply  and  clearly. 
Explains  force  known  as  "mesmerism."  Instructs 


CONTENTS— Continued 

CHAPTER  PACK 

in  magnetisms,  their  powers  and  uses.  Improve- 
ment continues  noticeably.  Works  twenty  hours 
out  of  twenty-four.  Rested  without  sleep;  sated 
without  food.  First  trance  experience;  beneficial. 
Is  told  one  hour  of  trance  more  beneficial  than 
many  hours  of  sleep.  At  such  a  time  there  is 
temporary  but  entire  separation  of  soul  from 
body.  Trance  explained.  Conde  appears  in  robes 
of  a  cardinal.  Gives  definition  of  prayer.  Discour- 
aged by  severe  attack  of  grippe.  Mesmer  appears 
and  immediate  cure  is  effected.  Value  of  voice  in 
aiding  rapport.  Meets  two  new  visitors.  Works 
for  repose. 

IX    SURPRISING  ANSWER  TO  PRAYER  WHEN  RUBINSTEIN 

CONTROLS.   WORKS  WITHOUT  MEASURING  EFFORT    216 

Great  musician's  photograph  framed  and  hung  in 
room.  Rubinstein  declares  all  work — all  exercises 
— all  success — lead  to  but  one  end — the  demon- 
stration beyond  possibility  of  cavil  of  the  survival 
of  identity.  Masters  work  unceasingly  to  secure 
perfect  polarization  of  all  powers ;  say  this  makes 
mortals  immune  from  illness.  Rubinstein  domi- 
nates his  pupil.  Declares  music  calls  for  inex- 
haustible strength  on  part  of  its  devotees.  Sound- 
less music  produced  by  pupil.  Magnetized  sleep; 
thirty  minutes  equal  to  eight  hours'  ordinary 
slumber.  Goes  eighty-five  hours  without  food  and 
sleeps  only  seven  hours  during  that  time.  Works 
unabatedly  every  waking  moment.  Becomes  the 
incarnate  agent  of  master  of  music.  Hands  shaped 
for  music.  Rubinstein  dislikes  his  photograph  and 
presents  another.  Mystery — its  definition.  Many 
oral  instructions  received  in  four  months.  Thou- 
sands of  pages  filled  with  musical  directions. 

X  CULMINATION  OF  EXPERIENCES  AT  EASTERTIDE. 
PHYSICIAN  WHO  HAD  PRONOUNCED  CASE  HOPE- 
LESS ADMITS  CURE 257 

Directed  to  eat  meat  for  first  time  in  five  years  at 
public  dinner.  Urged  to  observe  usual  social 


CONTENTS— Concluded 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

habits  because  strangers  judge  by  such  habits  and 
by  the  apparent  physical  results  of  treatments 
undergone.  Suffers  depleting  attack  in  New  Or- 
leans. Upon  return  home  is  restored  by  Conde. 
Finds  when  not  fasting  much  sleep  is  needed.  Is 
told  people  need  sleep  in  proportion  to  food  eaten. 
Pere  Conde  pronounces  patient  cured.  Allowed  to 
enter  upon  a  more  normal  program  of  living. 
Conde  prescribes  drinking  of  tea  and  coffee  for 
a  time.  Gives  reasons.  Magnetic  slumber  and  its 
results.  Grows  well  and  strong.  Physician  who 
diagnosed  case  as  incurable,  aided  by  chemist 
whose  tests  led  to  that  decision,  now  pronounces 
patient  "perfectly  normal."  Work  of  upbuilding 
continues.  Hundreds  of  pages  automatically  writ- 
ten "for  record."  Last  sentence  of  Pere  Conde's 
letter  of  that  date — "again  the  end  is  but  the  be- 
ginning." Many  years'  conscious  association  with 
great  masters  confirms  writer's  sense  of  validity 
of  experience. 

APPENDIX 
PSYCHIC  LAW 

LECTURE      I    SPIRIT  RETURN 291 

LECTURE    II    RECOGNITION 301 

LECTURE  III    COMMUNICATION  BY  VIBRATION    ....    310 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 


Part  One 

The  Awakening 


Neither  Dead  Nor  Sleeping 

CHAPTER  I 

CONVINCED  OF  CONTINUED  LIFE  THROUGH  LETTERS 
RECEIVED  FROM   RECENTLY  DECEASED  HUSBAND 

ON  DECEMBER  23rd,  1895,  there  occurred 
an  incident  large  enough  in  comparison  with 
the  other  incidents  of  my  life  to  be  called  an  event. 
It  was  destined  to  change  some  of  the  most  im- 
portant of  my  fundamental  convictions,  and  to 
determine  the  subsequent  main  purpose  of  my  life. 
I  refer  to  the  death  of  my  husband,  Theodore 
Lovett  Sewall. 

A  fortnight  before,  referring  to  the  approaching 
fchange,  Mr.  Sewall  had  said  to  me:  "Listen  a  mo- 
ment while  I  speak  about  what  you  refuse  to  see. 
You  can  not  believe  that  I  am  going;  I  know  it 
is  inevitable.  I  wish  now  only  to  say  that  if  I  dis- 
cover that  I  survive  death,  the  first  thing  I  shall 
do  will  be  to  ascertain  whether  or  not  Jesus  ever 
returned  to  earth  after  His  crucifixion.  You  know 
we  have  not  believed  it;  but,  if  I  find  that  He  did 
return  to  His  disciples,  I  shall  do  nothing  else  until 
I  shall  have  succeeded  in  returning  to  you,  unless 
before  that  time,  you  have  come  to  me." 

My  husband  was  already  so  weak  that  to  say  all 
ill 


2        NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

this  required  some  minutes,  and  the  effort  quite  ex- 
hausted him.  To  the  declaration,  I  made  no  re- 
sponse and  the  subject  was  not  again  referred  to. 
We  had  enjoyed  nineteen  years  of  happiness  as  per- 
fect as  humans  may  experience ;  four  years  of  bliss- 
ful betrothal,  fifteen  of  incomparably  more  blissful 
union. 

In  church  relationship  we  were  of  the  school 
known  in  the  United  States  as  "Parker"  or  "Rad- 
ical" Unitarians.  We  desired  immortality  as  most 
happy  people  do;  we  believed  in  it  much  as  we  be- 
lieved in  the  indestructibility  of  matter;  but  we 
felt  no  certainty  of  the  survival  of  the  separate 
individual  entity.  Upon  this  point  our  creed  may 
be  stated  thus: 

As  far  as  we  know,  we  have  no  responsibility 
for  our  birth  into  this  life;  but  we  have  found  it 
so  good  that  we  shall  never  leave  it  voluntarily.  If, 
when  we  are  removed  from  this  plane,  we  continue 
on  some  other,  we  shall  doubtless  find  that  just  as 
perfectly  fitted  for  our  further  happy  development 
as  this  has  been  adapted  to  our  needs  up  to  date; 
and  if  we  do  not  survive  death  extinction  will  pre- 
vent all  sense  of  loss. 

This  creed  had  been  rehearsed  by  us  almost  daily 
since  our  love  had  so  increased  the  value  of  life  that 
only  immortality  could  suffice  our  longings,  and 
after  the  great  event  came — after  death  had 
wrought  his  miracle  and  left  me  stunned  and  deso- 
late— it  was  our  daily  repeated  creed  and  not  that 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING        3 

single  strange  declaration  of  intention  so  unexpect- 
edly made  by  my  husband,  that  was  always  in  my 
thoughts;  indeed,  that  declaration  dropped  entirely 
from  my  mind.  This  may  seem  as  unnatural  to  the 
reader  as  it  now  seems  to  me ;  but  it  is  the  fact. 

In  the  months  immediately  following  the  event, 
I  was  approached  by  two  friends  with  appeals  to 
visit  a  local  "medium."  One  of  these  advisers, 
whose  opinions  on  serious  questions  had  always 
seemed  to  me  a  curious  medley  of  philosophy  and 
sentiment,  is  not  unknown  in  literary  circles.  The 
other,  a  familiar  friend  and  an  officer  in  our  Uni- 
tarian Church  from  whom  suggestions  of  this  na- 
ture caused  me  great  surprise,  was  a  lawyer  of 
repute  and  a  citizen  highly  valued  in  Indianapolis. 
Both  asserted  that  they  knew  that  through  such 
mediation  I  might  again  see  and  talk  with  my  hus- 
band. The  proposal  shocked  me.  It  seemed  to  me 
grossly  to  violate  both  reason  and  delicacy.  I  pro- 
tested that  from  our  first  meeting  my  husband  and 
I  had  understood  each  other;  that  we  had  never 
needed  a  mediator  or  an  intermediary,  and  that 
nothing  could  induce  me  to  seek  to  reestablish  com- 
munication with  him  by  such  means.  Both  assured 
me  that  they  had  personal  knowledge  of  the  truth 
they  wished  me  to  know,  and  gave  me  what  they 
considered  convincing  testimony.  It  not  only  failed 
to  interest  me;  it  repelled.  The  lady  assured  me 
that  frequently  when  she  had  met  me  in  the  street 
she  had  seen  my  husband  walking  by  my  side  and 


4        NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

knew  that  he  wished  me  to  perceive  his  presence. 
This,  far  from  increasing  my  faith  in  what  she 
termed  her  "experience  of  perception,"  strength- 
ened my  conviction  that  she  was  either  self-duped 
or  the  victim  of  clever  impostors. 

Unlike  many  bereaved,  I  did  not  seek  to  forget 
my  sorrow  or  him  whose  removal  had  caused  it; 
on  the  contrary,  I  strove  to  keep  the  memory  of 
him  always  present  in  my  own  mind  and  in  the 
minds  of  all  about  me;  and  I  strove  also  to  keep 
the  memory  disassociated  from  grief.  Among  the 
countless  small  means  to  which  I  resorted  to  secure 
this  end,  was  the  following,  mentioned  here  be- 
cause of  its  value  in  connection  with  later  experi- 
ences. 

Of  the  numerous  last  messages  and  greetings 
sent  by  my  husband  to  hi's  friends,  that  which  he 
dictated  to  be  read  to  the  students  of  the  Girls' 
Classical  School  was  one  of  the  most  significant: 
"To  be  well  and  to  be  at  work  is  to  have  the  two 
conditions  necessary  to  happiness." 

This  brief  message  I  inscribed  under  large  framed 
photographs  of  my  husband  and  hung  one  in  each 
room  of  the  school  building,  and  in  each  room  of 
our  house  where  such  a  memorial  would  not  seem 
inappropriate,  little  knowing  how  I  was  thereby 
helping  to  rivet  the  delicate  but  insoluble  bond. 
With  the  effort  to  keep  his  memory,  I  united  an  en- 
deavor to  forget  grief  in  work,  of  which  there  was 


no  lack.  'As  principal  of  a  large  private  day  and 
boarding1  school,  besides  teaching  daily  from  one 
to  three  hours,  I  had  the  supervision  of  a  corps  of 
twenty-five  teachers  in  the  school  proper  and  of  the 
home  for  students  called  "The  Classical  School 
Residence,"  as  well  as  of  my  own  home  which  in- 
volved the  direction  of  ten  helpers.  I  also  bore  my 
share  in  the  social  life  of  my  community,  and  in 
compliance  with  my  husband's  latest  expressed  wish 
maintained  in  as  far  as  possible  the  same  hospitality 
which  had  characterized  our  home.*  At  the  time 
I  was  officially  connected  with  both  the  National  and 
the  International  Council  of  Women,  and  gave  my 
vacations  as  well  as  my  leisure  during  the  school 
year  to  promoting  the  interests  served  by  these 
organizations.  Cooperative  Internationalism,  and 
the  World  Peace  to  be  secured  only  through  it, 
were  then,  as  they  still  remain,  my  absorbing  ideal. 
I  was  therefore  much  on  the  platform,  and  in  June 
of  1897  my  engagements  took  me  to  Halifax, 
Nova  Scotia. 

While  there,  I  received  an  invitation  to  be  the 
speaker  on  "Woman's  Day,"  set  for  the  tenth  of 
the  following  August  at  Lily  Dale,  New  York.  The 
literature  accompanying  the  invitation  indicated  one 
of  the  Summer  Assemblies,  which  in  the  United 


*Our  home,  known  as  Sewall  House,  was  open  not  only  to 
many  circles  in  our  own  city,  but  to  strangers  traveling  in  the 
United  States  from  all  parts  of  the  world. 


6        NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

States  under  the  general  titles  of  "Chautauquas" 
and  "Camp  Schools"  annually  convene  thousands 
of  people  for  recreation  and  study. 

So  long  ago  as  1897  m°st  such  assemblies, 
although  continuously  attended  by  more  women  than 
men,  had  a  "Woman's  Day,"  when  it  was  the  cus- 
tom to  invite  some  advocate  of  political  enfranchise- 
ment to  discuss  woman  suffrage,  a  topic  at  the  date 
usually  tabooed  at  those  places  except  on  such  fixed 
occasion. 

I  had  not  before  heard  of  the  place,  but  accepted 
the  invitation,  recorded  the  date  of  the  engagement 
and  dismissed  it  from  my  mind. 

Only  a  few  days  before  the  date  I  learned  that 
the  engagement  for  August  tenth  would  take  me 
into  a  "Spiritualists'  Camp."  I  had  held  myself  so 
aloof  from  all  means  of  information  about  spiritual- 
ists that  I  did  not  know  there  were  such  camps.  The 
fact,  however,  seemed  indifferent,  and  when  ques- 
tioned by  my  informant,  I  said  I  did  not  regret  the 
engagement;  that  had  I  known  the  character  of  the 
camp  in  advance,  I  should  have  made  it,  since  spirit- 
ualists, not  less  than  other  people  whose  political 
conditions  they  share,  need  correct  views  on  woman 
suffrage. 

When  at  seven  o'clock  p.  M.  on  August  9,  1897,  I 
arrived  at  the  Lily  Dale  Assembly  Grounds  I  was 
met  by  Mrs.  B.,  in  whom  I  recognized  the  efficient 
Chairman  of  the  Press  Committee  of  the  National 
American  Woman  Suffrage  Association,  whom  I 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING        7 

had  frequently  seen  at  Washington  (D.  C.)  con- 
ventions, but  whose  connection  with  spiritualism  I 
had  never  suspected.  When  she  proposed  to  con- 
duct me  on  a  tour  of  the  grounds  and  to  introduce 
me  to  some  of  the  most  "famous  mediums,"  I 
experienced  a  shock.  I  had  hitherto  admired  Mrs. 
B.  as  a  very  intelligent  and  competent  suffrage 
.worker — but  the  discovery  of  her  official  connection 
with  this  camp  and  the  manner  of  spending  the 
evening  suggested  by  her,  reduced  my  confidence 
and  respect.  I  told  her  that  I  did  not  wish  to  meet 
any  "medium"  however  "famous";  that  to  me  the 
word  was  offensive,  being  synonymous  in  my  opin- 
ion, with  the  words,  deceiver,  pretender,  charlatan 
and  ignoramus.  I  frankly  asserted  that  the  name 
and  the  office  assumed  by  those  bearing  it  were 
equally  obnoxious  to  delicacy  and  to  intelligence. 

The  amiable  secretary  did  not  seem  at  all  of- 
fended. She  told  me  that,  although  a  spiritualist, 
her  interest  in  phenomena  was  no  longer  keen,  but 
that  she  was  a  tireless  student  of  its  philosophy 
which  would  probably  command  my  deeper  interest. 
The  suggestion  that  spiritualism  had  a  philosophy 
seemed  absurd,  but  I  did  not  discuss  the  matter. 

The  next  morning,  a  solitary  walk  through  the 
camp  disclosed  numerous  signboards  bearing  le- 
gends as  repellent  as  they  were  novel :  "Business," 
"Test,"  "Independent  Slate-Writing,"  "Trumpet," 
"Trance,"  "Flower"  and  "Portrait  Painting"  Me- 
diums. These  phrases  confirmed  a  fear  that  I  had 


8        NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

fallen  into  a  company  of  strangely  ignorant  and 
superstitious  people. 

Although  the  grounds  were  attractive  and  well 
kept,  the  people  well-dressed,  courteous  and  quite 
remarkably  alert  and  cheerful;  and  although  later, 
my  audience  was  attentive,  responsive  and  sympa- 
thetic, I  was  not  at  all  conciliated,  but  was  eager 
to  quit  the  place  as  soon  as  possible.  I  therefore 
declined  all  courteous  overtures  and  repulsed  the 
pressing  plea  of  a  friend,  who  had  come  from  a 
neighboring  town  to  hear  me,  to  stop  over  a  day 
or  two  "to  investigate,"  and  urging  my  engagement 
on  the  morrow  at  Chautauqua,  New  York,  I 
hastened  my  preparations  for  departure. 

However,  unexpected  difficulties  arose;  a  chain 
of  what  we  ignorantly  or  irreverently  name  "acci- 
dents." The  treasurer  had  been  suddenly  called 
away  for  two  days;  the  train  schedule  had  been 
changed;  the  carriage  that,  in  consequence  of  the 
second  circumstance,  was  engaged  to  drive  me  over 
the  country,  broke  down  when  we  were  hardly 
started;  a  few  minutes  later  a  telegram  postponed 
my  engagement  at  Chautauqua  by  three  days. 

Interior  changes,  as  unpremeditated  as  those  ex- 
ternal incidents  were  sudden,  followed;  and,  a  sec- 
ond after  I  had  peremptorily  declined  to  permit  an 
introduction  to  a  famous  "independent  slate-writer," 
following  a  compelling  impulse  which  I  scarcely 
realized  until  I  had  acted  upon  it,  I  had,  unintro- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING       $ 

3uced,  eagerly  made  an  engagement  with  this  same 
person  for  a  private  sitting  the  next  day. 

In  that  sitting,  quite  contrary  to  my  own  expec- 
tation, and  equally  so  to  any  conscious  desire,  I  re- 
ceived letters  written  upon  slates  which  I  had  care- 
fully  selected  from  a  high  pile  of  apparently  quite 
new  and  empty  ones,  had  carefully  sponged  off, 
tied  together  with  my  own  handkerchief,  and  held 
in  my  own  hands,  no  other  hand  touching  them. 
These  letters,  when  read  later  in  my  hotel,  whither 
I  took  them  with  an  anxious  incredulity  which 
would  not  have  been  disappointed  had  I  found  them 
bare  instead  of  covered  with  clear  and  legible  writ- 
ing, were  found  to  contain  perfectly  coherent,  in- 
telligent and  characteristic  replies  to  questions  which 
I  had  written  upon  bits  of  paper  that  had  not  passed 
out  of  my  hands.  The  whole  transaction  had  been 
enacted  in  broad  daylight.  I  had  sat  on  one  side  of 
a  small  table  by  an  open  window  that  looked  out 
upon  a  summer  landscape  where  children  were  play- 
ing games,  and  groups  of  people  were  visible  among 
the  trees;  the  medium  had  sat  opposite  me,  appar- 
ently doing  nothing. 

The  whole  environment  was  as  normal  as  pos- 
sible. I  myself  was  open-eyed  and  alert,  perhaps 
more  so  than  ever  before  in  my  life.  But  as  I  read 
the  letters — and  considered  the  conditions  under 
which  they  had  been  produced  and  the  time  that 
this  experience  had  occupied  (less  than  one  half- 


10      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

hour  had  I  been  in  the  medium's  studio)  I  knew  as 
clearly  as  I  now  know  after  twenty-two  years  of 
constant  study  and  experimentation  that  I  had,  so 
to  speak,  acquired  actual  knowledge,  if  not  of  im- 
mortality, at  least  of  a  survival  of  death — I  had 
learned  that  the  last  enemy  is  destroyed,  in  that  he 
can  destroy  neither  being  nor  identity,  nor  continuity 
of  relationship.  I  knew  that,  quite  unwittingly  and 
reluctantly  following  the  directions  of  St.  Paul,  I 
had  to  my  small  faith  "added  knowledge"  and  had 
acquired  a  definite  certainty  of  at  least  one  stage  of 
human  experience  beyond  death.  Proofs  of  that 
degree  of  immortality  I  had  received. 

This  interview  with  the  nominally  dead,  whose 
one  common  and  dominant  quality  seemed  a  degree 
of  vitality  seldom  encountered  in  the  nominally 
living  was  followed  by  many  others,  successively 
conducted  by  an  "independent  slate-writer,"  a 
"trance  reader,"  a  "psychometrist,"  a  "trumpet  me- 
dium," a  "trance  interpreter  of  symbols"  and  other 
richly  endowed  and  variously  developed  psychics. 

At  the  very  opening  of  our  interview  through  the 
trumpet  my  husband  said  to  me,  "I  worked  hard  to 
bring  you  to  this  camp,  and  I  thought  after  all  I  was 
going  to  fail  and  that  even  after  you  had  come,  you 
would  go  away  without  knowing  me.  I  tried  hard 
to  impress  you  to  see  Mr.  K.  so  that  I  might  write 
to  you." 

In  my  astonishment  I  interrupted  him  with  a 
question  indicating  my  incredulity  of  his  interven- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      n 

tion.  He  replied,  "You  will  never  know  what  I  have 
gone  through  to  bring  you  here,  and  even  after  you 
had  received  my  letter  through  Mr.  K.  I  feared  I 
should  never  be  able  to  make  an  appointment  for  you 
with  this  trumpet.  I  was  almost  discouraged  when 
the  medium  sent  word  to  you  that  her  time  was  all 

engaged,  but (naming  one  who  then  served 

as  his  immediate  tutor)  encouraged  me  and  told  me 
what  to  do." 

This  story  of  effort  recalled  the  purpose  con- 
ceived by  my  husband  before  his  death  and  im- 
parted to  me,  as  told  in  the  opening  of  this  narra- 
tive. 

Through  the  agency  of  these  curiously  developed 
people,  I  had  at  the  end  of  three  days,  seen,  talked 
with  and  received  both  letters  and  paintings  of  flow- 
ers from  all  those  nearest  to  me  who  had  at  that 
time  experienced  what  we  call  death,  as  well  as  from 
ancestors  direct  and  collateral  and  from  some  other 
friends  nearer  to  me  in  time  than  these  latter,  but 
more  remote  in  kinship.  My  husband,  my  father, 
my  mother,  my  half-sister,  two  sisters-in-law,  a 
great  grandfather  and  a  little  niece  had  identified 
themselves  unmistakably  and  indisputably. 

I  was  impelled  to  treat  this  series  of  experiences 
very  seriously.  After  each,  I  made  a  full,  accurate 
record  which  later  I  copied  in  permanent  form,  still 
retaining,  however,  the  original  of  every  communi- 
cation written  or  otherwise  received.  As  I  read  and 
reread  this  record  of  my  discovery  of  the  continued 


12      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

and  sequented  life  of  the  individual  nominally  dead 
and  the  continuance  of  the  individual's  interests  and 
relationships,  I  was  most  impressed,  ( I )  by  the  earn- 
est exhortations  of  my  husband  to  great  caution  in 
communicating  these  experiences;  (2)  by  his  re- 
peated emphatic  assertions  that  the  experiences  were 
perfectly  natural  or,  as  he  expressed  it,  "all  in  na- 
ture" ;  and  (3)  by  the  earnestness  of  his  repeated  in- 
junctions to  "study  science." 

That  the  experiences  were  perfectly  natural,  *.  e., 
in  harmony  with  natural  law ;  that  all  of  the  powers 
which  I  had  seen  manifested  resulted  from  the  de- 
velopment of  faculties  which  all  humanity  possesses 
in  germ ;  and  that,  moreover,  these  experiences  were 
neither  the  effect  of  a  peculiar  religious  belief,  nor 
the  necessary  cause  of  a  change  in  the  religious  be- 
Hef  of  any  one  who,  prior  to  such  experiences,  had 
a  substantial  and  satisfying  faith  in  immortality — 
such  convictions  were  the  first  fruits  of  this  experi- 
ence. 

The  desire  to  share  this  new  knowledge  with 
friends  who,  like  myself,  had  been  bereaved,  was 
very  strong.  It  had  brought  me  ineffable  com- 
fort, a  comfort  that  could  proceed  only  from  such 
knowledge  and  I  wished  them  to  possess  it  also.  I 
was,  however,  restrained  by  the  counter-desire  of 
my  husband,  who  told  me  that  others  would  be  as 
unable  to  accept  my  assurances  as  I  had  been  to 
credit  those  of  the  friends  who  nearly  twenty 
months  before  had  tried  to  bring  me  consolation. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      1$ 

Every  medium  whom  I  had  met  had  assured  me 
that  I  was  "naturally  very  psychic,"  but  all  had  de- 
clared that  the  germs  of  my  subtle  faculties  had 
been  chilled  by  my  education,  my  profession,  my 
religious  connection  and  my  general  social  environ- 
ment. Each,  however,  in  turn  had  assured  me  that 

» 

if  I  would  pursue  the  proper  means,  these  faculties 
— which  were  not  killed,  only  repressed  and  devi- 
talized by  the  materialism  of  my  life — could  be 
quickened  into  activity.  As  I  reflected  on  the  com- 
munications from  friends  and  the  comments  of  me- 
diums, I  was  much  perplexed.  Although  I  found  my- 
self much  indebted  to  the  latter  for  the  exercise  of 
their  gifts  in  my  behalf,  I  did  not  feel  at  all  flattered 
to  be  told  that  I  was,  "by  nature,  peculiarly  psychic." 
Moreover  I  did  not  believe  it.  I  very  sincerely  be- 
lieved myself  to  be  singularly  obtuse  and  inaccessi- 
ble to  the  approaches  of  humans  who  have  survived 
death. 

In  the  course  of  these  interviews  I  learned:  (a) 
that  one  of  the  first  surprises  to  the  nominally  dead 
is  their  continued  nearness  to  their  conditions  in 
mortal  life  and  to  the  persons  known  to  them  who 
are  still  in  it;  (b)  that,  however,  the  same  skep- 
ticism prevails  on  the  yon  as  on  the  hither  side  of 
death  (though  perhaps  in  less  degree)  concerning 
the  ability  of  people  here  to  be  brought  into  connec- 
tion with  those  who  have  passed  over;  (c)  that,  to 
secure  this  connection,  mediums  on  that  side,  as  on 
this,  serve  those  who  are  unable  by  their  own  un- 


14      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

aided  efforts  to  reestablish  relations  with  their 
friends;  (d)  that  the  most  enlightened  mediums, 
there  as  here,  believe  that  all  excarnate  humans 
share  these  endowments,  if  only  in  undeveloped 
germs  of  faculty;  and  (e)  that  the  method  pursued 
there  to  test  the  ability  of  independent  communica- 
tion, like  that  recommended  by  all  the  excarnate 
friends  from  whom  the  communications  had  come 
to  me,  and  by  all  the  mediums  here  through  whose 
aid  they  had  reached  me  (assuming  that  the  desire 
for  such  power  had  been  kindled)  included  medita- 
tion and  concentration. 

I  was  told  plainly  that  by  these  agencies  a  mag- 
netic current  would  be  generated,  and  that  when 
this  had  been  brought  to  the  proper  power  and  had 
been  focused  in  thought  upon  the  person  whose  at- 
tention was  desired,  a  magnetic  connection  would 
be  established  between  seeker  and  sought.  "Medi- 
tation," "concentration" — these  words  were  per- 
fectly well  known  but,  employed  in  connection  with 
these  new  experiences,  were  so  vague,  that  it  was 
very  difficult  to  keep  the  promise  which  I  had  made 
to  my  husband  and  to  my  mother,  viz. :  that  I  would 
practise  them  alone  in  my  room  daily. 

Before  writing  the  preceding  pages,  I  reread  to 
myself  for  more  than  the  one  hundredth  time  the 
seventy  folios  on  which  on  August  22nd,  1897,  I 
compiled  from  copious  notes  written  immediately 
after  each  sitting,  a  detailed  record  of  the  experi- 
ences which  had  begun  eleven  days  earlier,  and  had 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING       15 

occupied  parts  of  August  eleventh,   twelfth,   thir- 
teenth and  fourteenth  of  the  same  month. 

From  this  I  copy  the  concluding  paragraph  which 
indicates  the  effect  produced  on  my  mind  by  these 
experiences  and  the  purpose  which  originated  in 
that  effect. 

"This  is  the  end  of  the  first  chapter  of  my  ex- 
perience with  phenomena  of  this  kind.  I  am  sure 
it  is  not  the  last.  I  am  unspeakably  grateful  for 
what  I  have  been  privileged  to  see,  to  hear  and  to 
feel  with  my  normal  bodily  senses  of  touch,  sight 
and  hearing ;  and,  wherever  it  may  lead  me,  I  know 
it  can  not  mislead  me.  Therefore,  God  helping  me, 
it  is  my  deliberate  determination,  my  fixed  purpose 
'not  to  be  disobedient  to  the  heavenly  vision'  but  to 
'follow  the  gleam.' " 


CHAPTER  II 

MATTERS     PERTAINING     TO     ETHERIC     PLANE.      UN- 
USUAL    EXPERIENCES     AND     REVELATIONS 
THROUGH  FAMOUS  MEDIUMS 

ON  SEPTEMBER  isth,  1897,  there  com- 
menced  to  come  to  me,  through  friends  (none 
of  them  professional  psychics),  a  series  of  letters 
which  at  longer  or  shorter  intervals  continued  to 
September,  1916.  The  first  five  of  these  came 
through  the  hand  of  a  devoted  member  of  the 
Episcopal  Church,  a  woman  of  wide  travel,  large 
wealth  and  conventional  life,  as  far  removed  as  pos- 
sible in  temperament,  habits  and  position  from  my 
preconception  of  a  psychic.  On  the  receipt  of  the 
first  letter,  heeding  a  perception  that  others  would 
follow,  I  filed  it  by  itself  in  a  Cyclone  file. 

Since  the  receipt  of  that  first  letter  two  Cyclone 
files  have  been  filled  with  communications  of  this 
kind  coming  through  scribes  of  many  nationalities 
and  post-marked  at  various  points  in  England,  Ger- 
many, France,  Italy,  Australia  and  China,  as  well  as 
in  the  United  States.  Only  one  of  these  scribes  was 
known  to  me  prior  to  receipt  of  such  letters.  Only 
two  of  them  at  the  date  of  their  first  letters  knew 
that  I  had  had  psychic  experiences. 

16 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      17 

Some,  entire  strangers,  when  the  ocean  separated 
us,  sent  letters  accompanied  by  notes  of  introduction 
from  my  husband;  other  strangers  presented  such 
letters  to  me  at  my  own  door  in  Indianapolis.  Usu- 
ally, the  letters  thus  received  contained  either  im- 
mediately valuable  information,  or  information 
which  in  its  bearing  on  subsequent  events,  with 
which  my  relation  was  thus  communicated  in  ad- 
vance, proved  to  be  valuable.  These  communica- 
tions I  regarded  as  corroborative  to  the  validity  of 
my  own  experiences  but  as  subordinate  in  value  to 
these,  from  which  I  have  therefore  always  kept 
them  quite  apart,  believing  experience,  in  this  as  i'n 
other  matters,  to  be  the  most  reliable,  if  not  in- 
deed, the  only  source  of  actual  knowledge. 

The  experiences  of  those  four  August  days  re- 
corded in  Chapter  I  assumed  a  continually  increas- 
ing importance  as  time  passed,  and,  far  from  fad- 
ing from  my  memory,  seemed  ever  present,  urging 
me  to  attempt  a  repetition  of  them ;  and,  as  my  wed- 
ding anniversary  approached,  the  desire  to  receive 
my  husband  in  our  own  home  grew  into  a  decision 
to  take  the  first  step  by  inviting  the  trumpet  me- 
dium through  whom  I  had  held  enlightening  con- 
versations with  many  friends,  to  spend  the  day  with 
me.  She  arrived  about  noon  on  Sunday,  October 
3ist,  1897. 

I  immediately  took  her  to  my  library  where,  pre- 
viously, acting  under  impulse,  I  had  prepared  the 


iS      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

Conditions  for  an  interview.  Between  my  library 
and  the  adjoining  chamber  is  a  passage  which  I  had 
darkened  by  drawing  the  heavy  portieres  and  within 
which,  after  removing  every  other  article,  I  had 
placed  two  chairs.  Setting  the  aluminum  trumpet 
on  the  floor  between  the  two  chairs  which  we  occu- 
pied, the  medium  asked  her  control  to  aid  my  friends 
to  talk  with  me.  There  followed  conversations  with 
my  husband  and  other  relatives  with  whom  I  had 
enjoyed  interviews  in  August;  and  in  addition  to 
these,  with  several  other  relatives  whom  in  life  I 
had  not  known.  The  conversations  in  number, 
length,  content  and  variety  were,  except  for  the  fact 
that  they  were  not  the  first  of  their  kind  known  to 
me,  much  more  remarkable  than  those  I  had  en- 
joyed at  the  camp. 

Different  relatives  called  me  by  the  various  "pet" 
names  which  they  had  respectively  been  accustomed 
to  use  in  life.  There  were  continuous  conversa- 
tions apparently  participated  in  by  several  simul- 
taneously present,  whose  characteristic  laughter  I 
distinctly  heard.  Among  my  visitors  was  an  aunt 
who  had  died  many  years  before  my  birth,  but 
whose  partial  namesake  I  am.  For  convenience  I 
had  dropped  my  second  name  and  when  a  sweet 
voice  said,  "I  am  your  Aunt  Eliza,  and  your  name 
is  really  May  Eliza  Wright  Sewall,"  I  was  startled. 
My  aunt  did  not  chide  me  for  having  dropped  her 
name,  but  seemed  amused  at  my  embarrassment 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      19 

over  her  knowledge  of  it.  She  proved  a  very  in- 
telligent, entertaining  visitor,  as  did  a  strange 
clerical  gentleman  whom  my  husband  presented  as 
his  paternal  grandfather,  whom  I  mention  here  be- 
cause our  acquaintance  has  developed  significantly. 

I  asked  my  husband's  permission  to  report  this  in- 
terview to  a  friend  much  esteemed  by  him  who  had 
for  many  years  been  an  habitual  visitor  at  our 
house.  This  lady  had  suffered  heavy  losses  by  death 
since  my  husband's  departure,  and  believing  that  a 
knowledge  of  what  I  was  learning  would  comfort 
her,  I  longed  to  impart  it.  Referring  to  my  fruit- 
less recital  of  my  first  experiences  to  our  two  broth- 
ers, to  whom,  by  his  direction,  I  had  read  their  full 
record  in  September,  my  husband  again  urged  me 
to  secrecy,  saying  that  I  must  postpone  my  confi- 
dence until  her  understanding  should  be  opened  to 
receive  it.  To  my  question,  "Will  she  ever  be  able 
to  understand?"  I  quote  his  exact  reply,  "Probably 
not.  Miss  C.  is  a  fine  woman  and  she  will  be  dis- 
creet, but  she  will  be  unable  to  understand  it;  nor 
can  she,  without  understanding,  accept  it;  for  in- 
tellectual, good  and  serious  as  she  is,  she  is  wholly 
on  the  Material  Plane." 

During  this  interview  the  entreaties  to  "study 
science"  and  the  assurance  that  nothing  of  a  super- 
natural character  was  involved  were  repeated  with 
increased  urgency.  Moreover,  I  was  told  that  this 
method  of  communication  between  different  planes 


20      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

of  life  is  conditioned  by  laws  destined  soon  to  be 
understood. 

When  what  my  visitors  all  referred  to  as  "the 
forces"  began  to  grow  faint,  my  husband  explained 
that  he  could  stay  no  longer,  that  he  felt  "humili- 
ated to  come  in  this  mean  way"  but  that  he  should 
continue  to  use  this  and  other  similar  methods  of 
reaching  me  until  my  own  "growth  in  a  knowledge 
of  natural  law  should  furnish  better  facilities." 

The  interviews  occupied  several  hours;  their  rec- 
ord, made  as  nearly  as  possible  with  verbatim  accu- 
racy the  night  of  that  same  day,  required  four  thou- 
sand seven  hundred  fifty-two  words,  and  my  entry 
of  this  curious  celebration  of  our  anniversary  is 
followed  by  words  which  reveal  my  intention  to 
develop  faculties  still  in  germ. 

Not  until  February  ipth,  1898,  did  my  next  op- 
portunity for  meeting  my  friends  come.  The  Tri- 
ennial Convention  of  The  National  Council  had 
taken  me  to  Washington,  where  on  the  date  named 
I  had  another  opportunity  to  exchange  letters  with 
my  friends  through  the  aid  of  the  "independent  slate- 
writer."  The  letters  received  were  considerably 
longer  and  more  complex,  and  contained  more  ref- 
erences to  the  need  of  my  "earnest  study  of  science" 
than  the  earlier  ones. 

My  contemporary  record  includes  a  brief  note 
from  a  friend  who  had  only  just  passed  on.  It  ran 
thus: 


"My  Dear  Friend, 

"Convey  my  greeting1  to  the  Council  and  Miss 
Anthony.  I  shall  continue  to  work  for  women. 

"Frances  E.  Willard." 

I  had  not  addressed  Miss  Willard;  her  note  was 
written  across  the  reply  of  a  friend  to  whom  I  had 
written,  and  the  two  were  apparently  produced 
simultaneously.  Miss  Willard's  message  perplexed 
me.  Should  I  deliver  it  to  Miss  Anthony?  I 
sought  the  advise  of  Mrs.  Martha  Wright  Osborne, 
of  Auburn,  New  York,  a  good  friend  of  mine,  and 
an  intimate  of  Miss  Anthony,  who  counseled  silence. 

I  record  this  incident  because  it  was  the  first 
message  sent  through  me  to  any  one  outside  my 
family — and  my  treatment  of  it  was  that  accorded 
to  scores  of  undelivered  messages  to  numerous  per- 
sons, not  a  few  of  whom  are  entire  strangers  to 
me — whose  friends  have  thus  sought  to  reach  them. 
One  of  the  hardest  things  I  have  had  to  bear  is  thus 
to  withhold  messages  entrusted  to  me,  because  by 
experience  I  have  learned  that  it  is  still  harder  to 
deliver  such  messages  only  to  have  them  rejected, 
and  thenceforth  to  be  considered  by  the  friend  or  the 
stranger  whom  I  had  tried  to  serve  as  either  a  dupe 
or  an  impostor. 

The  contemporaneous  entry  of  this  experience 
closes  thus :  "I  feel  my  perceptions  are  being  gradu- 
ally quickened  and  I  await  my  own  unfoldment  and 


22      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

my  expanding  duty  in  the  light  of  such  unfold- 
ment." 

My  next  subtle  experiences  were  through  the 
trumpet  on  May  fifteenth  and  May  twenty-second, 
at  Buffalo  when  en  route  to  and  from  Ottawa  in 
attendance  on  the  National  Council  of  Canada  as  a 
guest  of  its  president,  Lady  Aberdeen. 

On  May  fifteenth  I  was  accompanied  to  the  house 
of  the  medium  by  a  friend  with  whom,  until  that 
day,  I  had  never  exchanged  a  word  about  occult 
matters. 

Our  interview,  except  for  its  being  conducted 
through  the  trumpet,  was  as  natural  as  any  social 
hour  could  be  wherein  two  friends  would  be  intro- 
ducing members  of  their  respective  families  to  each 
other.  The  occasion  was  used  rather  for  the  benefit 
of  my  guest  than  for  my  own,  as  I  felt  the  ordinary 
solicitude  of  a  hostess  to  give  my  guest  precedence 
in  opportunity;  my  friend  received  much  advice  in 
respect  to  a  plan  she  was  then  maturing,  her 
acceptance  of  which  the  events  of  the  following 
summer  seemed  to  justify. 

Returning  from  Ottawa  on  May  twenty-second,  I 
was  met  at  the  station  by  the  medium's  husband, 
who  told  me  that  his  wife  had  been  "reserving  her 
strength"  for  me,  and  was  expecting  an  unusual 
demonstration  of  power.  This  excited  hopes,  which 
were  not  disappointed.  I  spent  the  night  and  had 
sittings  which  aggregated  more  than  six  hours.  The 
"forces"  seemed  uncommonly  strong;  I  not  only 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      23 

had  visits  with  my  own  dearest  friends  on  that 
plane,  but  with  several  others,  who  explained  their 
coming  on  the  ground  that  "they  were  passing  by, 
and  seeing  opportunity,  used  it."  Among  these  was 
an  aunt  who  had  passed  on  when  I  was  a  young 
lady,  who  possessed  a  striking  and  quite  original 
personality,  and  a  clergyman  who  had  been  my  tutor 
in  Latin.  I  welcomed  these  most  unexpected  visit- 
ors, recognizing  their  voices  and  personalities  as 
distinctly  as  I  ever  could  have  done  in  life ;  but  was 
surprised  by  their  entrance  into  my  circle.  In  con- 
versation with  my  aunt  (Mrs.  Joseph  Warren 
Brackett,  known  to  her  nephews  and  nieces  as 
"Aunt  Lyddy")  I  told  her  that  I  was  rather  hoping 
soon  to  go  to  Lincoln,  Nebraska,  to  visit  her  young- 
est daughter,  my  favorite  cousin,  because  I  was  go- 
ing to  Omaha  in  the  early  summer  to  make  arrange- 
ments for  the  Annual  Executive  Session  of  our 
National  Council  which  was  to  meet  in  that  city  in 
the  autumn.  My  aunt  instantly  replied:  "I  do  not 
think  you  will  be  going  to  Omaha  for  that  purpose 
this  summer.  I  understand  from  Theodore  that  he 
prefers  you  to  go  to  London,  and  that  he  will  ar- 
range matters  so  that  you  can  go,  and  you  will  pre- 
pare for  your  autumn  meetings  in  Omaha  by  cor- 
respondence. Perhaps  you  will  visit  Nettie  then." 
My  acquaintance  with  Doctor  Alexander  had 
ceased  before  my  nineteenth  year.  He  had  subse- 
quently become  president  of  Beloit  College,  and 
a  few  years  later  I  had  heard  of  his  death.  Doctor 


24      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

Alexander  was  a  man  of  strong  and  beautiful  per- 
sonality. He  seemed  eager  to  talk  with  me,  and 
pressed  much  into  a  few  sentences.  He  expressed 
great  joy  in  being  able  to  tell  of  the  indescribable 
interest  of  life  on  his  plane — where  he  said  that  he 
had  found  much  to  unlearn,  had  awakened  to  know 
that  on  earth  he  had  taught  many  errors;  that  his 
former  conceptions  fell  far  below  his  present  reali- 
zation of  God's  goodness — and  on  retiring  he  said 
he  would  add  as  a  test  of  his  identity,  that  his  wife 
was  with  him  but  that  their  son  (an  infant-,  in  my 
girlhood  and  of  whom  I  had  since  never  heard) 
was  still  in  earth  life,  facts  subsequently  verified. 

At  this  time  several  of  my  friends  besides  my 
aunt  and  Doctor  Alexander  made  statements  which 
they  also  declared  to  be  "tests."* 

Two  of  these  I  will  give.  My  sister  told  me  that 
a  favorite  nephew  then  ill  would  soon  pass  over, 
that  it  was  impossible  for  him  to  recover,  and  she 
begged  me  not  to  wish  for  his  recovery  as  "what  is 
before  him  is  so  much  better." 

My  husband  told  me  that  I  should  be  going  to 
England  in  the  immediate  future.  When  I  pro- 
tested that  I  had  not  the  means  to  go  he  assented 
and  said  that  I  should  not  be  required  to  pay  any 
part  of  the  expenses  from  means  that  I  then  knew 
of,  but  that  it  was  most  important  that  I  should  go, 


*I  had  already  learned  that  in  the  language  used  by  those  on 
the  Etheric  Plane,  a  "test"  is  a  provable  statement  or  a  state- 
ment that  will  be  proved  by  subsequent  experience. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      25 

and  that  a  friend  would  offer  to  pay  what  would 
amount  to  one-half  of  the  expense  and  that  he 
should  supply  the  other  half  by  securing  me  an  op- 
portunity to  earn  this  amount  before  the  time  for 
sailing. 

This  interview  dates  the  introduction  of  new  sub- 
jects and  of  more  definite  instruction.  Prefacing1 
the  statements  with  a  declaration  of  his  eagerness 
to  make  them,  my  husband  told  me  that  the  first 
instruction  he  had  received  after  his  transition  was 
about  the  nature  and  power  of  Jesus  the  Christ  and 
added : 

"The  reason  Christ  can  do  so  much  for  us  is  that 
He  took  on  all  our  infirmities;  He  is  the  greatest, 
i.  e.,  the  largest  and  ripest  spirit  ever  humanly  in- 
carnated; knowing  all  life  He  understands  and  can 
help  all  who  live.  It  is  because  He  was  a  human 
being,  tested  by  all  human  experiences,  that  He 
can  so  help  us."  These  statements  concluded  thus : 
"Every  one  who  comes  here  is  taught  'the  truth 
about  Christ' '  In  this  connection  my  husband  ex- 
pressed his  pleasure  in  my  enjoyment  of  a  book 
that  I  was  reading  and  quoted  some  passages  which 
he  particularly  commended.  I  expressed  great 
astonishment,  for  the  book  was  only  just  published, 
but  he  told  me  that  he  had  read  it  with  me.  Find- 
ing that  he  could  read  with  me,  I  begged  him  to  tell 
me  what  he  would  most  enjoy  reading,  that  I  might 
choose  books  with  regard  to  his  preference. 

I  quote  the  exact  words  of  his  reply.    "Of  course 


<26      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

I  can  read  with,  you,  and  often  do  when  you  are 
reading  what  interests  me,  but  I  wish  you  to  choose 
books  for  yourself  only,  without  regard  to  me,  for 
you  must  develop  your  own  individuality.  When  I 
am  interested  I  read  with  you;  when  I  am  not,  and 
when  I  find  I  can  do  nothing  for  you,  then  I  work 
in  my  studio  here,  and  I  am  always  very  busy." 

At  this  interview  my  husband  told  me  that  he 
talked  with  me  every  night  and  morning,  and  in 
reply  to  questions  he  told  me  that  "the  little  tap- 
pings in  my  ears"  which  I  reported  were  caused  by 
the  vibrations  of  the  ether  awakened  by  his  articula- 
tions ;  that  the  coolness  which  I  often  felt  like  waves 
of  fresh  air  when  I  knew  no  air  was  moving  about 
me,  and  the  thrills  which  I  felt  frequently,  "like  the 
most  delicate  possible  of  electric  shocks,"  were  all 
manifestations  of  his  presence. 

When  I  asked  him  if  he  could  read  my  thoughts, 
he  answered  that  he  was  not  yet  strong  enough  to 
do  so;  but  that  he  could  usually  understand  my 
articulate  speech,  and  he  asked  me  to  add  to  my 
period  for  meditation  time  to  talk  to  him  and  to 
hear  his  replies. 

During  this  interview  I  asked  my  sister  if  I  could 
do  anything  to  help  a  relative  on  that  plane  who 
had  come  to  me  and  seemed  most  unhappy.  The 
reply  was:  "Only  by  loving  him.  Poor  dear;  he 
tan  not  help  it;  it  is  in  the  influences  under  which 
he  was  born.  He  must  simply  work  them  out:  un- 
til he  has  done  this,  nothing  can  help  him." 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      27 

Two  other  references  were  made  to  planetary 
influences  as  follows:  My  mother,  who  was  al- 
ways longing  to  get  into  direct  communication  witK 
her  son,  Doctor  P.  B.  Wright,  in  reply  to  a  ques- 
tion, said,  in  a  voice  expressive  of  painful  patience, 
"No,  your  brother  can  not  accept  this  yet.  Your 
temperaments  are  so  very  different.  You  must  both 
work  out  the  conditions  you  were  born  under.  The 
planetary  influences  make  it  impossible  for  him  to 
accept  what  you  can  until  he  has  worked  out  cer- 
tain conditions."  The  other  reference  to  this  sub- 
ject was  to  me  still  more  amazing.  It  came  from 
my  husband,  who  concluded  a  quite  long  talk  on 
the  development  of  my  own  psychic  powers,  which 
he  urged  me  to  make  my  first  object,  with  a  state- 
ment that  it  would  be  well  for  me  to  include  in  my 
study  of  science  and  of  natural  law,  that  of  "the 
planetary  influences  which  govern  one."  During 
this  day  I  was  told  quite  casually  by  my  husband's 
grand fatheV,  with  whom  I  began  to  feel  well  ac- 
quainted, that  while  he  was  talking  with  me  Theo- 
dore had  gone  to  Ravens  wood  (a  Chicago  suburb, 
where  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Edmund  Quincy  Sewall  then 
resided)  to  see  his  parents,  and  in  his  later  talk 
with  me,  my  husband  referred  to  his  visit  at  Ravens- 
wood  and  told  me  what  the  family  were  discussing 
when  he  arrived.  On  this  same  occasion,  when  I 
inquired  for  my  parents,  I  was  told  that  they  would 
talk  with  me  later,  that  they  were  then  with  my 
"brother,  the  doctor,  in  Grand  Rapids,  Michigan." 


28      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

In  their  later  interview  with  me,  my  mother  re- 
peated what  she  had  before  written,  that  one  of  the 
greatest  griefs  experienced  by  those  on  the  Etheric 
Plane  proceeds  from  trying  to  awaken  friends  here 
to  their  presence  and  finding  them  quite  inaccessible. 
She  told  me  that  she  and  my  father  always  visit 
my  brother  on  Sunday  afternoons,  as  usually  he  is 
then  less  absorbed  in  work,  and  they  always  go 
"hoping  to  find  him  becoming  accessible." 

My  husband  referred  to  letters  recently  received 
by  me  from  him  through  Mrs.  H.,  confirmed  their 
genuineness,  and  said  in  regard  to  the  reliability  of 
such  communications  that  they  were  more  liable  to 
inaccuracy  than  his  communications  directly  with 
me,  "since  our  relation  and  intimate  acquaintance 
permit  a  more  perfect  adjustment  of  our  atmos- 
pheres, on  which  depends  the  reliability  of  com- 
munications passing  between  planes." 

In  this  interview,  although  the  entreaties  to  con- 
tinue in  those  exercises  which  are  believed  to  in- 
duce the  awakening  of  one's  own  unused  faculties 
were  more  urgent  than  ever  before,  so  were  the  in- 
junctions to  secrecy  more  serious  and  more  em- 
phatic. 

With  all  the  pleas  for  secrecy  were  combined  in- 
centives to  investigation,  and  when,  in  response  to 
a  question,  I  asked  "What  is  inspiration?"  my  hus- 
band said:  "Inspiration  is  the  response  to  aspira- 
tion. The  more  you  aspire,  the  more  inspiration 
will  come  to  kindle  your  mind." 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      29 

At  about  this  time,  as  a  result  of  certain  read- 
ing, I  was  becoming  anxious  lest  my  husband  should 
retard  his  own  spiritual  progress  and  reduce  his 
enjoyment  of  the  larger  opportunities  for  growth 
on  his  plane  of  life  by  descending  from  it  to  help 
me.  I  expressed  these  fears  and  begged  him  not 
to  do  it,  but  to  devote  himself  to  the 'enjoyment  of 
conditions  on  that  plane,  where  his  experiences  had 
taken  him,  and  to  the  exercise  there  of  his  freed 
powers. 

Now,  as  always  since,  in  response  to  similar 
pleas,  he  assured  me  that  he  had  made  his  choice, 
and  that  by  staying  with  me  he  aided  his  own  prog- 
ress; that  on  the  Etheric,  as  on  the  Physical  Plane, 
"service  is  the  condition  of  growth."  These  assur- 
ances he  concluded  with  the  significant  words :  "The 
trouble  with  us  in  our  efforts  to  help  you  is  that  we 
are  so  tenuous.  We  can  not  hold  together ;  we  need 
you  to  help  us  get  the  instruments  that  we  can  use." 

The  feelings  induced  by  the  experiences  of  May 
I5th  and  22nd  of  1898  are  thus  recorded:  "These 
sweet  experiences,  although  mysterious,  are  beyond 
a  doubt  perfectly  normal.  I  sincerely  believe  that 
this  knowledge  will  soon  be  the  common  property 
of  mankind,  and  that  soon  intercommunication  of 
planes  will  be  as  universally  practised  as  telegraphy 
now  is  on  our  plane." 

These  convictions  were  deepened,  as  almost  im- 
mediately on  my  return  home  the  means  for  going 
to  London  to  preside  over  the  executive  session  of 


30      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

the  International  Council  of  Women  came  from 
the  two  sources*  earlier  specified  by  my  husband, 
and  letters  from  Omaha  came  showing  that  all  the 
difficulties  which  the  officers  of  our  National  Coun- 
cil of  Women  had  thought  would  require  me  to  go 
thither  had  been  removed,  and  that  the  arrange- 
ments for  our  National  Executive  to  be  held  there 
in  the  following  autumn  could  be  made  easily  by 
letter. 

In  June  of  1898  I  had  a  new  experience.  I  re- 
ceived a  letter  from  Mrs.  H.,  urging  me  to  see 
Doctor  H.,  a  Chicago  physician,  and  through  him 
to  arrange  for  an  interview  with  a  German  psychic, 
of  whom  I  now  for  the  first  time  heard. 

My  lecture  engagements  for  this  month  took  me 
to  Winfield,  Kansas,  which  would  require  my  pass- 
ing through  Chicago  twice. 

Through  correspondence  it  was  settled  that  the 
interview  with  the  psychic,  which  Doctor  H.  kindly 
undertook  to  arrange  for,  should  be  given  on  June 
seventeenth,  the  evening  of  my  return  from  Win- 
field,  and  as,  on  account  of  other  engagements  for 
the  same  date,  the  hour  could  not  then  be  stated, 


*A  friend,  not  then  intimate,  most  unexpectedly  invited  me 
to  be  her  guest  for  the  ocean  passage;  and,  without  corre- 
spondence or  previous  acquaintance  with  the  people  making 
them,  I  received  propositions  to  do  some  rather  drudging 
literary  work  for  a  Cyclopedia,  and  also  to  deliver  two  com- 
mencement addresses  at  seminaries  in  a  neighboring  state, 
quite  unknown  by  me  up  to  that  time. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      31 

that  a  telegram  specifying  the  hour  should  await 
my  arrival  at  the  Chicago  railroad  station. 

However,  no  telegram  was  there.  As  I  knew 
only  the  psychic's  last  name,  which  was  too  com- 
mon to  render  the  directory  available,  I  tried  to 
reach  him  through  telephoning  to  Doctor  H. ;  but 
learning,  that  the  doctor  had  been  called  suddenly 
from  home,  there  seemed  nothing  to  do  but  to  take 
the  next  train  for  Indianapolis. 

While  in  the  act  of  securing  my  ticket,  I  was 
suddenly  moved  to  abandon  this  plan  and,  entirely 
contrary  to  my  custom,  to  go,  without  notification, 
to  spend  the  night  with  friends.  A  similar  impulse 
caused  me  to  abandon  taking  the  morning  train  to 
Indianapolis,  which  I  had  intended  to  do,  and  led 
me  instead  to  call  at  Doctor  H.'s  office. 

I  found  the  doctor  (an  entire  stranger)  expect- 
ing me,  because,  prevented  by  his  absence  from 
making  the  engagement  with  the  psychic  and  send- 
ing the  promised  telegram  to  meet  my  train  from 
Winfield,  he  had  repaired  to  the  psychic's  home  late 
the  night  before,  and  had  been  told  by  my  husband 
that  I  was  still  waiting  at  the  station,  intending  to 
take  the  midnight  train  for  my  home.  It  had  then 
been  arranged  that  I  should  be  "impressed  to  stay 
over,"  to  call  on  the  doctor  the  next  morning,  and 
there  learn  that  my  husband  had  engaged  the  psychic 
to  reserve  eleven  o'clock  of  that  morning  for  our 
interview. 


32      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

There  was  just  time  for  Doctor  H.  to  impart 
this  plan,  call  a  cab  and  give  the  address,  where  I 
arrived  on  the  stroke  of  eleven,  to  find  both  the 
psychic  and  my  husband  awaiting  me. 

The  interview  was  as  unprecedented  as  were  the 
means  of  arranging  for  it.  I  had  a  long  audible 
conversation  with  my  husband  by  independent 
voice,  and  shorter  similar  ones  with  my  sister  and 
the  little  niece  who  had  sent  me  the  flowers,  and 
whom  I  shall  henceforth  in  this  narrative  call  by 
the  full  name  to  which  she  always  responds,  little 
Annie  Brackett.  From  my  contemporaneous  rec- 
ords of  the  interview  I  quote  some  sentences,  which 
show  what  was  at  that  time  my  mental  attitude  to- 
ward this  subject,  and  how  this  was  met. 

"I  have  been  feeling  unhappy  of  late,  fearing 
that  I  am  very  selfish  to  let  you  trouble  yourself 
so  much  about  my  plans  and  duties  that  relate  to 
earth  life.  I  feel  as  if  I  ought  to  ask  and  take  your 
help  only  in  aiding  my  spiritual  growth." 

(Ans.)  "That  is  a  mistake.  Taking  your  earth 
burdens  in  so  far  as  I  can  turns  them  into  joys  for 
me.  You  do  not  thus  retard  my  progression,  you 
help  it" 

My  feeling  was  persistent,  and  I  said,  "I  do  not 
wish  to  be  selfish,  and  it  seems  to  me  that  it  is 
selfish  to  let  you  have  a  care  about  my  earth  life 
plans,  or  even  to  know  them.  When  you  were  here 
you  bore  all  these  burdens,  and,  having  passed  on 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      33 

to  the  next  plane,  it  seems  to  me  you  ought  to  be 
permitted  to  bear  only  whatever  burdens  may  be- 
long to  that  evidently  higher  and  more  beautiful 
life." 

(Ans.)  "You  are  mistaken.  I  continue  to  grow 
in  helping  you.  It  is  right  that  I  should  do  it,  and 
it  is  not  selfish  in  you  to  permit  me  to  do  it.  As 
for  knowing1  your  earth  life,  I  did  know  it  before 
I  reached  you  last  summer  at  the  camp.  I  do  in 
general  and  to  a  degree  vaguely  know  it  independent 
of  your  desire  and  help.  Our  interviews  give  me  a 
more  satisfactory  knowledge  of  it,  and  thus,  instead 
of  increasing  my  cares,  make  me  less  anxious." 

"Well,  if  this  is  so,  I  must  learn  to  understand 
you  and  to  talk  with  you  without  the  aid  of  others. 
Do  you  think  I  shall  ever  be  able  to  understand  you 
when  you  talk  with  me  at  night  and  in  the  early 
morning  as  you  say  you  now  do?  I  hear  sounds 
now — but  I  never  distinguish  a  word.  Shall  I  ever 
do  so?" 

(Ans.)     "I  am  certain  of  it." 

The  reply  came  with  encouraging  emphasis. 

Then,  referring  to  a  subject  that  was  seldom 
absent  from  my  mind,  I  said,  "I  want  to  ask  an 
explanation  of  what  you  said  about  Christ  when 
we  met  in  Buffalo — I  did  not  quite  understand." 

(Ans.)  "Oh!  we  are  all  taught  that  Christ  is 
the  transcendent  human  being  above  any  other  spirit 


34      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

ever  humanly  incarnated  in  goodness  and  purity. 
The  laws  of  nature  are  perfect  and  sure.  They  are 
never  broken.  Do  you  understand — never  broken. 
And  all  things  are  under  law." 

Then  came  a  curious  experience  which  seemed 
equally  physical  and  mental — it  seemed  like  a  sud- 
den expansion  of  brain  tissue  to  accommodate  a 
sudden  expansion  in  comprehension  of  the  im- 
measurable bigness  and  the  unbreakable  continuity 
of  nature's  laws. 

Then  I  asked  for  information  about  life  on  that 
next  plane,  adding:  "It  must  be  beautiful." 

(Ans.)  "I  have  very  much  to  tell  about  life  on 
this  side,  but  can  not  do  it  now — you  can  not  yet 
receive  it.  It  is  beautifully  natural." 

My  husband  then  said  in  a  very  low  voice,  "I  am 
going;  I  can  not  get  the  force  to  talk  now— ^but 
soon,  very  soon,  we  shall  meet  again." 

From  my  sister  I  that  day  learned  that  not  only 
had  all  the  members  of  my  family  on  that  side 
been  brought  together  through  my  husband,  but 
that  also  through  him  they  had  all  been  brought  into 
communication  with  the  Earth  Plane;  that  each  in 
turn,  on  dying,  had  experienced  his  own  ability  to 
continue  cognizant  of  earth  life;  that  each  had  also* 
been  taught  the  possibility  of  awakening  friends 
still  on  earth  to  the  presence  of  the  so-called 


35 

but  that  they  had  been  withheld  by  skepticism  and 
prejudice  until  Theodore  "had  held  doors  open  for 
them." 

The  significance  of  these  experiences  as  grasped 
at  the  time  was  summed  up  thus : 

(a)  I  had  felt  the  power  of  Impression  and  had 
unconsciously  responded  to  it. 

(b)  I  realized  that  it  was  the  subtlest  and  most 
reliable  form  of  communication  between  planes  yet 
made  known  to  me.    To  acquire  the  conscious  and 
intentioned  use  of  it  was  a  new  goal. 

(c)  The  proposition  that  Jesus  born  at  Naza- 
reth had  become  the  Christ  and  that  He  is  justly 
the  King  of  Kings  and  Lord  of  Lords,  the  righteous 
ruler  of  the  earth,  passed  from  an  indifferent  theory 
to  a  personal  conviction. 

(d)  I  experienced  a  new  comprehension  of  the 
inviolability  of  natural  law,  of  its  all-inclusive  do- 
main from  which  no  plane  of  life  known  to  humans 
is  exempt;  and  as  a  corollary  to  this,  I  had  now 
gained  an  unshakable  conviction  not  only  of  the 
consecutiveness  of  human  life  on  all  planes,  but  also 
of  its  sequential  character. 

"Soon,  very  soon,  we  shall  meet  again,"  were  the 
words  with  which  my  husband  had  concluded  our 
interview  on  June  eighteenth,  and  five  days  later  I 
sailed  from  New  York,  my  goal  being  London;  my 
object,  to  preside  over  the  Executive  of  the  Inter- 
national Council  of  Women  convened  there  in  July; 


36      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

Lady  Aberdeen,  its  president,  being  unable  at  the 
time  to  go  to  London,  had  asked  me  as  the  Coun- 
cil's vice-president  at  large  to  perform  this  service, 
to  make  the  preliminary  arrangements  for  the  sec- 
ond quinquennial  of  the  Council,  which  was  to  meet 
in  the  same  metropolis  in  1899. 

Among  the  letters  of  introduction  given  me  by 
my  superior  officer  was  one  to  Mr.  William  T. 
Stead. 

Although  I  knew  of  Mr.  Stead's  experiments  in 
telepathy,  I  did  not  know  of  his  book,  entitled  Let- 
ters from  Julia,  nor  had  I  ever  heard  that  he  pos- 
sessed or  claimed  mediumistic  powers. 

It  was  on  Sunday,  July  seventeenth,  that,  hav- 
ing already  met  Mr.  Stead,  but  not  yet  having  ex- 
changed a  word  with  him  on  psychic  matters,  I 
went  by  his  invitation  to  Wimbledon. 

For  some  time  the  conversation  was  kept  close 
to  the  Council,  and  to  the  progressive  movements 
which  I  hoped  it  would  promote;  but  finally  it 
turned  upon  the  subject  uppermost  in  my  mind,  and 
in  response  to  his  disclosures  I  told  Mr.  Stead  of 
my  experiences  in  communicating  with  my  husband ; 
also  that  since  coming  to  London  I  had  first  learned 
of  his  interest  in  this  subject;  and  I  asked  him  if 
he  would  introduce  me  to  the  best  psychic  known 
to  him  in  London. 

To  my  amazement,  Mr.  Stead  replied,  "Well,  if 
you  want  an  interview  with  your  husband,  perhaps 
I  can  help  you  to  one  now;  I  don't  know.  I  never 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      37 

can  tell,  but—  "  he  added,  taking  a  tablet  and  pencil, 
"you  ask  your  husband  anything  you  wish  to — * 
merely  asking  it  mentally;  perhaps  he  can  use  myj 
hand  to  answer." 

Mentally  I  proposed  a  series  of  questions.  At 
the  end  of  each,  Mr.  Stead's  hand  began  to  move 
rapidly  and  as  if  without  his  guidance  over  the 
paper,  and  to  each  was  given  an  intelligent  reply. 

These  pages  torn  from  the  tablet  and  given  me  by 
Mr.  Stead  are  before  me  as  I  write.  There  are 
references  to  incidents  in  the  past  that  could  have 
been  known  only  to  Mr.  Sewall  and  myself,  and 
there  are  statements  made,  my  husband  said,  as 
"tests,"  by  which  I  could  judge  of  their  validity  as 
time  should  pass.  All  this  occurred  while  we  were 
sitting  on  the  balcony,  in  the  open  air  and  in  broad 
daylight. 

Although,  as  before  reported,  I  had  already  re- 
ceived letters  purporting  by  their  senders  to  be  auto- 
matically produced,  this  was  the  first  time  I  ever 
witnessed  automatic  writing,  and  I  observed  it  with 
conscientious  attention.  Whether  Mr.  Stead  had 
read  the  questions  formed  in  my  mind,  but  un- 
uttered,  and  then  had  intuited  my  husband's  tem- 
perament and  character  so  correctly  that  he  could 
write  perfectly  intelligent,  consistent  and  charac- 
teristic replies;  or  whether,  with  no  knowledge  of 
either  question  or  answer,  he  had  merely  furnished 
the  conditions  and  force  which  enabled  my  husband 
to  read  the  questions  in  my  mind  and  to  use  Mr. 


38 

Stead's  hand  in  replying  to  them — the  phenomenon 
was  curious  and  suggestive,  and  besides  the  personal 
pleasure  which  it  yielded,  it  seemed  to  possess  scien- 
tific interest  and  to  demand  scientific  study. 

Through  the  kindness  of  Mr.  Stead,  I  received 
two  other  letters  from  my  husband — more  intimate, 
more  important  than  any  hitherto  received,  urging 
me  never  to  abandon  the  study  that  I  had  entered 
upon  until  the  time  should  have  come  when  we 
should  find  ourselves  independent  of  all  inter- 
mediaries. 

At  this  time  Mr.  Stead  gave  me  a  letter  to  one 
whom  he  commended  as  the  best  medium  then 
known  to  him  in  Great  Britain. 

It  was  noon  on  July  twenty-second  that,  having 
engaged  this  hour  by  correspondence,  I  repaired  to 
the  house  of  this  psychic. 

On  my  arrival  a  thunder-storm  was  impending, 
the  air  was  charged  with  electricity,  and  Mrs.  B. 
said  that  such  electrical  conditions  were  most  dis- 
turbing and  she  did  not  know  whether  she  should 
be  able  to  serve  me. 

The  appointments  of  the  room  and  the  procedure 
of  the  medium  were  quite  like  those  with  which  my 
interviews  through  the  trance  medium  at  Lily  Dale 
had  made  me  familiar.  Seating  herself  by  a  table 
near  me,  Mrs.  B.  made  the  passes  over  herself  which 
magnetists  affect,  but  failing  to  induce  the  trance 
state,  she  asked  me  if  I  had  anything  with  me  that 
had  belonged  to  or  been  worn  by  the  person  with' 


39 

whom  I  particularly  wished  to  communicate.  I  had 
in  my  hand-bag  my  husband's  photograph,  and  a 
French  testament  that  he  used  frequently  to  read. 
Mrs.  B.  held  these  in  her  hands  and  in  a  moment 
the  trance  state  was  evident.  Presently  she  began 
describing  the  persons  whom  she  saw  "crowding 
about  me,"  and  concluded  by  saying  that  "a  gentle- 
man, pale,  with  very  refined  features  and  with  dark 
hair  and  dark  eyes,"  was  the  most  solicitous  of  my 
visitors.  "He  says  he  is  your  husband,  that  he 
wishes  to  talk  with  you  by  the  direct  method,  and 
thinks  he  can  do  so,  but  that  the  conditions  to-day 
are  unfavorable."  The  rain  had  been  pouring  in 
torrents  from  almost  the  moment  of  our  retiring 
to  the  inner  room,  and  the  roar  of  the  thunder  was 
accompanied  by  lightnings  which  penetrated  closed 
shutters  and  drawn  draperies.  The  entranced 
medium  seemed  disturbed,  and  presently,  returning 
to  normality,  said  that  in  such  conditions  she  could 
not  remain  entranced  long  enough  to  secure  a  satis- 
fying interview. 

She  told  me  that  she  would  try  to  have  "Vigo," 
her  "control,"  get  acquainted  with  my  friends  on 
the  next  plane  before  Friday,  July  twenty-ninth,  the 
date  we  had  agreed  upon  for  a  second  trial. 

From  this  interview  I  had  gleaned  one  additional 
fact,  vis. :  that  the  force  used  for  communications 
between  planes  of  life  is,  while  necessarily  more 
powerful  than  electricity,  at  the  same  time  more 
delicate  and  can  be  disturbed  by  it. 


40 

A  week  later,  5  P.  M.  July  twenty-ninth  (hav- 
ing in  the  meantime  been  to  Holland  to  assist  in 
the  organization  of  a  National  Council  of  Women), 
I  again  visited  Mrs.  B.'s  apartment.  The  weather 
was  fine,  the  conditions  were  pronounced  favorable, 
and  I  had  the  following,  to  me,  unprecedented  ex- 
perience. 

Preparations  were  made  as  before,  i.  e.,  I  myself 
examined  the  room  in  which  I  was  to  receive  my 
guests.  With  the  exception  of  a  few  framed  photo- 
graphs on  the  walls  and  a  few  small  ornaments  on 
the  mantel,  there  was  nothing  in  it  but  a  small  table, 
with  bare  legs,  and  two  chairs,  one  on  either  side  of 
the  table,  and  in  one  corner  a  wash-stand  holding  a 
basin,  a  pitcher  of  water  and  a  towel.  After  darken- 
ing the  windows,  as  on  the  previous  visit,  by  lower- 
ing the  shades  and  drawing  the  draperies  (which 
now  on  a  fine  day  I  found  reduced  the  light  only 
to  a  soft  twilight),  Mrs.  B.  directed  me  to  take  one 
chair,  seated  herself  opposite  me,  and  taking  my 
hands,  held  them  in  hers  for  a  few  seconds  only, 
when  there  passed  through  her  frame  the  slight 
shudder  which  seems  to  precede  the  entranced  state. 
Instantly  through  Mrs.  B.'s  lips,  not  her  voice,  but 
that  of  her  chief  "control,"*  with  whose  tone  and 


*I  early  learned  that  "control"  is  the  inappropriate  name 
given  to  the  medium  or  assistant  on  the  Etheric  Plane.  I  find 
the  name  inappropriate  because  no  more  control  is  exercised 
by  the  medium  on  that  plane  than  on  this.  The  two  are,  so 
to  speak,  respectively  the  transmitter  and  receiver,  of  mes- 
sages for  the  users  of  the  wireless  magnetic  current. 


accents  I  had  become  familiar  on  my  first  visit,  ad- 
dressed me. 

She  told  me  that  during  the  week  she  had  met 
my  husband,  and  it  had  been  arranged  that  to-day 
he  should  try  to  take  possession  of  the  medium's 
organism  and  talk  with  me  independently  of  any 
aid.  She  added  that  as  he  had  never  before  done 
this,  the  effort  would  probably  be  made  with  some 
difficulty,  and  it  might  be  some  minutes  before  he 
would  be  able  to  "use  this  organism  comfortably." 
Vi'go  added:  "Our  medium  may  experience  con- 
vulsions as  this  personality,  your  "husband,  takes 
possession  of  her  organism  for  the  first  time;  if 
this  should  happen,  do  not  be  alarmed;  it  is  all  in 
accordance  with  law — your  husband  wishes  me  to 
say  'with  natural  law  not  yet  generally  known,  but 
perfectly  natural.' " 

Having  given  this  warning,  Vigo  retired,  a  slight 
shudder  passing  through  Mrs.  B.'s  frame  as  she  did 
so.  I  did  not  see  Vigo  retire,  but  I,  so  to  speak, 
heard  her  go.  For  an  instant  Mrs.  B.'s  frame  be- 
came convulsed — a  moment  of  rigidity  being  fol- 
lowed by  contortions;  presently  relative  serenity  re- 
turned, and  as  a  rapturous  smile  overspread  the 
features  of  the  medium,  my  husband's  own  voice — 
low,  gentle,  but  eager  and  firm,  entirely  natural  and 
unmistakable,  addressed  me.  His  voice — not  Mrs. 
B.'s  voice,  not  Vigo's,  but  his,  filled  with  emotion; 
his  whole  manner  betrayed  excitement.  He  spoke 
eagerly,  telling  me  what  pleasure  he  had  in  this 


42      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

manifestation.  He  said  that  as  it  was  his  first  ex- 
perience of  using  another  person's  physical  organ- 
ism, he  found  it  difficult ;  but  thought  it  a  "satisfac- 
tory way  to  effect  a  return."  I  was  so  surprised 
and  awed  that  I  found  it  difficult  at  first  to  act  on 
my  husband's  invitation  to  ask  questions.  Naturally, 
however,  when  I  had  adjusted  myself  to  the  situa- 
tion, I  asked  him  to  explain  this  manner  of  mani- 
festing. I  quote  his  exact  reply,  written  down  at 
the  time: 

"Why,  all  there  is  about  it  is  this :  The  medium 
has  retired  from  her  body  and  has  loaned  her 
organism  to  me  that  I  may  talk  with  you  all  alone 
without  the  intervention  of  a  third  person;  I  never 
have  had  such  an  opportunity  before,  but  I  am 
getting  used  to  it  and  shall  get  on  very  well.  I  am 
told  that  I  shall  not  be  able  to  remain  long  the  first 
time,  and  I  feel  this  is  true,  so  we  must  talk  as  fast 
as  possible  and  about  the  things  that  most  imme- 
diately concern  you." 

To  my  next  question,  which  referred  to  a  recent 
rather  unusual  incident,  my  husband  replied :  "Cer- 
tainly I  know  about  it.  You  hardly  seem  to  believe 
what  I  have  now  several  times  told  you,  that  we 
are  practically  always  together,  i.  e.,  that  I  am 
always  with  you  except  when  you  are  with  me." 

"I  must  be  very  stupid,  Theodore,  but  I  don't 
know  what  you  mean  by  my  being  with  you." 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      43 

"Nevertheless,  what  I  say  is  true,  that  practically 
we  are  together  all  the  time,  for  during  the  daytime 
and  when  you  are  awake  I  am  with  you  on  the 
Earth  Plane,  and  when  you  are  asleep — when  your 
body  and  mind  are  resting  on  your  bed — then  you, 
or  perhaps  one  should  say  your  soul,  is  brought  to 
this  plane  and  has  many  experiences,  the  refresh- 
ment of  which  is  communicated  to  body  and  mind 
when  your  soul  returns  to  them." 

"But,  Theodore,  it  seems  dreadful  to  me  to  have 
such  experiences,  and  not  be  conscious  of  them! 
Shall  I  ever  grow  into  a  condition  where  I  shall  be 
conscious  of  my  or  of  my  soul's  experiences?" 

"Certainly,"  was  the  reply,  "you  are  growing  into 
that  condition.  You  now  are  conscious  of  your 
soul's  experiences  while  these  are  in  progress  and 
you  now  retain  them:  but  you  are  not  yet  able  to 
impart  them  to  your  mind  and  your  body,  i.  e.,  to 
become  mentally  and  physically  conscious  of  them, 
so  to  speak.  As  body  and  mind  both  have  many 
experiences  which  are  unshared  by  either  your  real 
self  or  by  your  soul,  although  through  them  your 
real  self  gets  more  effective  instruments — so  the 
soul  has  many  experiences  that  in  their  nature  can 
not  be  shared  by  the  mind  and  body,  although  the 
value  or  net  product  of  such  experiences  may  be 
and  often  is  communicated  to  the  body  and  to  the 
mind;  to  each  in  just  the  degree  that  each  is  able 
to  appropriate  such  product.  You  will  grow  men- 
tally and  physically  conscious.  As  you  become  so, 


44      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

do  not  be  surprised — do  not  be  alarmed  by  what- 
ever may  happen.  Wait  patiently;  remember  that 
all  this  knowledge,  new  to  you,  is  natural — is  ac- 
cording to  law.  Study  natural  science,  study  nature's 
laws" 

Later  in  the  interview  my  husband  said :  "When 
you  go  home,  sit  for  writing,  sit  in  the  library — not 
with  slates ;  that  is  too  elementary  for  your  present 
condition — but  sit  with  tablet  and  pencil.  I  will 
come  and  write  through  your  hand  as  I  did  through 
Mr.  Stead's." 

Again  my  husband  enjoined  caution.  "I  do  not 
wish  your  interest  to  become  public  yet.  The  time 
may  come — I  think  will  come,  but  not  now." 

In  this  conversation  I  learned  that  my  husband 
was  acquainted  with  the  "Julia"  who,  in  corre- 
spondence with  Mr.  Stead,  had  expressed  a  desire 
to  establish  a  Bureau  of  Communication  between 
the  two  planes  of  life  which  border  either  side  of 
the  experience  we  name  death. 

When  my  husband  retired,  I  felt,  rather  than  saw, 
his  departure,  and  the  return  of  Mrs.  B.  to  her  body 
was  as  evident  to  me  and  apparently  as  easily  ac- 
complished by  her  as  would  have  been  her  return 
to  a  room  or  to  a  chair  which  she  had  temporarily 
vacated  for  another's  use. 

Mrs.  B.  confirmed  my  husband's  instruction  as 
to  the  method  of  acquiring  automatic  writing,  and 
said  that  Vigo  had  just  told  her  that,  if  permitted, 
she  would  help  me. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      45 

The  reader  will  observe  that  this  interview  en- 
abled me  to  witness  quite  new,  and  what  one  might 
call  more  complex  and  surprising,  phenomena  than 
have  before  been  recorded. 

On  New  Year's  Eve  of  1899  and  the  following 
day  I  had  three  sittings  with  the  trumpet  medium 
in  Buffalo,  which  aggregated  eight  and  one-half 
hours  of  conversation  with  nine  persons,  three  of 
whom  had  not  before  approached  me;  one  of  these 
was  introduced  by  my  husband  as  one  of  his  "new 
guides." 

All  the  remarks  of  former  visitors  indicated 
progression  on  their  part  and  continued  effort  to 
help  me  to  become  more  susceptible  to  subtle  in- 
fluence. 

These  made  frequent  reference  to  matters  dis- 
cussed in  former  interviews  and  to  incidents  of  the 
intervening  period — which  furnished  indisputable 
evidence  of  their  cognizance  of  my  life  and  also  in- 
dicated in  several  of  them  varying  degrees  of  pre- 
science. Although  all  disclaimed  the  possession  of 
any  degree  of  the  prophetic  faculty,  they  assumed 
its  well-known  possession  by  many  on  the  next  plane 
and  its  definite  cultivatableness.  These  interviews 
were  much  too  long  to  reproduce  and  I  select  from 
the  contemporary  record  those  passages  that  to  me 
then  seemed  most  significant,  and  others,  the  im- 
portance of  which  succeeding  events  revealed. 

My  husband  referred  to  a  luncheon  in  Rochester 
at  the  home  of  Reverend  William  C.  Gannett,  where 


46      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

Miss  Anthony  and  I  had  been  guests.  He  spoke 
•with  much  appreciation  of  the  kindness  that  had 
been  shown  me  and  of  the  interest  manifested  in 
the  Council,  and  then,  quoting  a  reference  to  an  his- 
torical statement  made  by  another  person  at  the 
luncheon  which  I  had  not  particularly  regarded,  he 
told  me  to  look  it  up  and  I  should  find  the  statement 
erroneous.  This  I  did  and  discovered  that  my  hus- 
band was  correct. 

Referring  to  communications  recently  received 
through  the  independent  slater-writer,  I  asked  for 
an  explanation  of  a  passage,  which,  while  not  di- 
rectly saying  so,  implied  that  my  father  and  mother 
were  no  longer  in  the  same  sphere.*  Approving 
my  inference,  my  husband  said  that  my  father  felt 
it  his  duty  to  progress  and  that  he  had  gone  on  to 
the  next  plane,  but  that  my  mother  was  now  living 
with  him  (that  is,  with  my  husband),  as  she  chose 
to  remain  in  the  lower  sphere,  where  she  could  more 
easily  be  helpful  to  my  brother  and  to  myself  and  to 
(another  relative). 

My  husband  said,  "Your  mother  spends  much 
time  with  the  doctor,  trying  to  make  him  more  re- 
ceptive." 

Later,  to  my  great  astonishment,  came , 

the  relative  above  referred  to,  who,  in  response  to 


*I  will  bring  together  all  the  information  received  at  this 
time  bearing  on  the  progressive  states  and  the  ability  to 
choose  one's  place  (always  within  the  limits  of  one's  char- 
acter and  one's  attainment). 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      47 

questions,  told  me  that  he  was  much  with  my 
mother,  who  was  helping  him,  and  that  Theresa, 
my  sister,  came  often  to  see  him  and  also  to  help 
him — that  he  had  not  seen  my  husband,  who  was 
in  a  higher  sphere  than  his  and  had  not  been  to  see 
him,  and,  he  added,  "I  do  not  wish  him  to  come." 
spoke  with  mingled  irritation  and  resent- 
ment, and  when  I  essayed,  just  as  I  certainly  should 
have  done  in  a  similar  conversation  in  earth  life,  to 
soothe  him  and  to  induce  a  kindlier  feeling, 

replied :  "Well,  I  can't  help  it.  I've  got 

to  work  out  my  own  conditions  and  they  are  en- 
tirely different  from  yours — entirely  different. 

I  asked,  "Just  what  do  you  mean?  I  do  not 
understand  you." 

"Why,  my  planetary  conditions;  you  know  every 
one  must  work  out  his  own." 

I  asked :  "Did  you  know  that  I  went  to  Alta- 
mont?"* 

"Oh,  yes !  I  knew  it  and  was  glad  you  came,  but 
I  wished  you  had  come  earlier,  when  I  could  have 
received  you." 

Then  followed  a  conversation  (the  record  of 
which  took  five  hundred  words)  which  is  too  inti- 
mate to  reproduce,  but  which  proved  beyond  a  doubt 
the  ability  of  the  so-called  dead  to  be  cognizant  of 


*It  was  after  this  relative's  death,  which  had  occurred  in 
the  previous  summer,  that  I  first  went  to  his  home.  At  that 
time  his  daughter  had  telegraphed  asking  me  to  attend  his 
funeral. 


48      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

minutest  details  of  life  still  going  on  on  earth,  and 
also  to  have  only  a  less  quick  perception  of  the  feel- 
ings of  survivors  than  of  themselves. 

When  my  father  came  he  confirmed  what  I  had 
already  been  told  by  saying  in  reply  to  my  inquiries, 
"I  am  with  mother  often,  but  not  all  the  time  just 
now.  I  thought  I  ought  to  progress,  and  so  I  have 
passed  on  to  the  next  sphere.  You  must  remember 
that  I  have  been  over  here  much  longer  than  your 
mother  has,  and,  besides,  she  wants  to  help  the 

doctor  and  you  and  -       (naming  the  relative 

before  referred  to),  whom  I  can  do  nothing  for  at 
present." 

Questioning  my  father  about  my  sister's  present 
life,  he  told  me  that  he  saw  her  frequently,  but  was 
not  in  her  sphere,  "because  she,  too,  chooses  to  stay 
behind  and  help  others  all  she  can;  particularly  she 

is  just  now  working  hard  to  help "  (the 

same  relative). 

When  my  mother  came  I  asked,  probably  rather 
abruptly,  for  I  had  hardly  been  able  to  wait  to  get 
her  view,  "Mother,  how  is  it  that  you  and  father 
are  not  living  together  now  ?" 

"Why,  my  child,  we  can  not  be  together  all  the 
time  just  now,  for  we  both  have  duties.  Father  is 
trying  to  progress,  and  I  am  staying  by  choice  in 
this  sphere,  where  I  can  have  more  chances  to  be 
helpful  to  you  and  your  brother,  and  particularly 
to ." 

I  reminded  my  mother  of  her  early  promise  to 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      49 

come  and  write  for  me  if  I  would  sit  in  my  room 
with  slates,  and  added,  perhaps  reproachfully,  that 
she  had  never  done  so.  "That  is  true,  my  child,  but 
your  husband  did  not  wish  me  to.  He  feared  that 
if  you  sat  with  slates,  your  efforts  might  be  dis- 
covered and  might  be  used  to  your  injury;  also  he 
feared  that  should  this  power  be  developed  now, 
you  might  become  too  much  absorbed  by  it.  Be- 
sides, you  know  that  i't  is  less  satisfactory  than 
writing  on  paper,  which  we  believe  you  are  to  learn. 
But  you  know  in  the  present  state  of  ignorance  of 
this  power,  were  it  known  that  you  were  using  it, 
it  would  diminish  the  esteem  in  which  you  are  held 
and  injure  your  work,  and  that  we  can  not  bear." 
"Mother,  have  you  spoken  to  father  yet  about 


'Not    yet;    it   would    do    no    good   yet.     Poor 
!    He  must  work  out  his  conditions.    You 


know  those  conditions  are  very  unfortunate,  but  I 
shall  help  him  all  I  can,  and  Theresa  will  help  him, 
too." 

When  Theresa  came,  I  asked  questions  about  her 
present  life.  Among  other  replies  was  this:  "I 
am  very  busy,  but  my  work  would  be  hard  to  de- 
scribe. I  meet  many  who  come  over.  It  is  very 
sad  to  see  how  many  people  here  seem  to  have  no 
one  to  love  them.  I  try  to  do  what  I  can  for  people 
of  this  class,  and,  besides,  I  am  trying  to  help 


Expressing  a  wish  that  I  might  also  do  something 


50 

to  help  him,  I  added,  "I  do  want  to  help,  and  I 
pray  for  him  every  night." 

Theresa  replied,  "Yes,  I  know  it.  But,  my  dear 
sister,  one  loving  thought  is  more  helpful  than 
many  prayers." 

Again  I  followed  up  this  lead :  "Just  how,  then, 
can  I  help?  I  certainly  could  not  make  the  prayer 
if  I  did  not  entertain  the  loving  thoughts." 

The  reply  came:  "Every  day  say,  'Dear  sister 
Theresa,  I  do  love  you,'  and  add,  'I  do  love 

.'  There  is  nothing  so  powerful  as 

thought,  and  loving  thought  is  the  most  powerful 
kind;  and  to  put  this  thought  into  articulate  speech 
strengthens  it." 

In  this  interview,  I  asked  my  mother  about 
Grandfather  Weeks*,  whose  failure  to  arrive  sur- 
prised me.  My  mother  said,  "I  think  he  will  talk 
to  you  to-day,  but  there  are  so  many  who  wish  to 
talk  with  you  that  I  do  not  know.  He  is  now  on 
the  Celestial  Plane." 

"Mother,  what  is  the  Celestial  Plane?" 

"It  is  the  plane  entirely  above  the  Etheric,  where 
the  Ancients  are." 

"The  Ancients?  Whom  do  you  mean  by  the 
'Ancients'?" 

"People  who  passed  over  a  long  time  ago,  many 
centuries  ago.  People  like  Mary  and  Jesus  and 


*  Whom,  in  his  first  post-mortem  interview  with  me,  my 
husband  had  introduced  to  me  as  his  "first  tutor  on  the 
Etheric  Plane." 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      51 

other  great  guides.  Theodore's  present  guide,  La- 
monti,  who  was  a  wise  Italian,  a  sage  on  earth  hun- 
dreds of  years  ago,  lives  on  the  Celestial  Plane." 

"Well,  is  it  possible  that  your  Grandfather  Weeks 
was  such  a  sage  that  he  can  be  on  the  same  plane 
with  those  you  name?" 

In  a  hushed  and  reverent  voice,  my  mother  re- 
plied, "On  the  same  plane,  but  not  in  the  same 
sphere.  On  the  Celestial,  as  on  the  Etheric  Plane, 
are  many  spheres." 

"How  many?" 

"I  do  not  know." 

"Mother,  you  used  a  curious  phrase.  You  said 
'People  like  Mary  and  Jesus.'  In  your  sphere  i's 
it  supposed  there  are  any  like  Jesus?  Is  He  not 
thought  there  to  be  a  God,  or  to  be  One  with  God  ?" 

Very  solemnly  and  emphatically  came  the  reply: 
"No!  my  child,  there  is  no  God  but  One.  Jesus  is 
the  greatest  ever  humanly  incarnated,  but  not  God." 

Grandfather  Weeks  came,  and  in  a  long  conversa- 
tion that  followed  gave  me  much  information  about 
my  mother's  family,  certainly  entirely  unknown  to 
me  at  that  time,  which  subsequent  reference  to  the 
Brackett  genealogy  when  published,  six  years  later, 
confirmed. 

During  this  visit  I  said,  "Grandfather,  do  you 
teach  Theodore  now?" 

"Oh,  no.  Sometime  since  I  introduced  him  to 
Professor  Lamonti,  who  is  his  present  immediate 
guide." 


52      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

"How  did  you  come  to  do  that?" 

"Lamonti  was  once  my  guide;  he  is  a  fine  man 
and  a  fine  linguist,  and  I  knew  Theodore  would 
enjoy  him  and  be  helped  by  him." 

"Where  is  Theodore  now,  grandfather?  Is  he 
where  he  was  when  he  first  introduced  you  to  me?" 

"No!    He  has  gone  to  a  higher  sphere." 

"Well,  grandfather,  I  do  not  wish  to  hinder  his 
progress,  but  I  hope  he  will  not  get  so  far  beyond 
me  that,  when  I  pass  over,  we  can  not  go  on  to- 
gether." 

"Oh,  never  fear!  So  far  as  I  can  see,  you  are 
always  together  now.  Theodore  chose  to  stay  with 
you,  or  he  might  now  be  on  the  Celestial  Plane." 

I  remarked  on  the  happiness,  the  consolation  that 
I  had  experienced  in  even  my  imperfect  knowledge 
of  the  possibility  of  this  companionship,  and  Grand- 
father Weeks  replied,  "Yes — times  have  changed 
since  I  was  on  earth." 

"In  what  respect,  grandfather?" 

"Why,  in  regard  to  just  what  you  and  I  are  now 
doing;  talking  with  each  other  across  the  River  of 
Death.  I  should  have  jeered  at  this  or  have  called 
it  witchcraft." 

Much  more  informing  talk  by  Grandfather 
Weeks  was  concluded  thus :  "Theodore  must  have 
most  of  the  time,  and  Professor  Lamonti,  who  has 
just  come,  wishes  to  speak  with  you." 

As  Grandfather  Weeks  withdrew,  a  peculiar 
voice  with  a  foreign  accent  greeted  me.  Granting 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      53 

its  possibility,  the  brief  interview  following  the 
greeting  was  very  natural  and  held  only  one  intima- 
tion of  singular  significance.  This  was  in  Professor 
Lamonti's  assurance  that  he  had  wished  the  meet- 
ing because  thus  to  establish  the  magnetic  connec- 
tion with  one  so  closely  associated  with  his  pupil 
would  enable  him  to  be  a  more  helpful  guide  to  his 
"new  disciple,  your  husband,  for  whom  I  feel  affec- 
tionate admiration." 

I  had  determined  in  advance  of  this  interview  not 
to  be  so  absorbed  in  the  enjoyment  of  it  as  to  allow 
the  time  to  slip  by  without  my  putting  some  ques- 
tions that  had  begun  to  press  heavily  on  me;  and 
almost  immediately  upon  my  husband's  coming,  I 
told  him  of  this  resolution.  He  expressed  great 
interest  in  hearing  my  questions,  saying,  however, 
that  if  they  related  to  his  present  plane  of  life,  he 
should  not  be  able  to  make  it  very  intelligible  to  me, 
but  would  do  his  best. 

"Theodore,  do  you  know  what  Mrs.  B.*  meant 
by  her  recent  letter  to  me?  She  wrote  that  her 
'control'  has  'lost  the  chord,'  and  therefore  can  not 
reach  you  and  get  letters  from  you  to  send  me,  as 
she  promised.  What  is  the  'chord'  and  what  does 
'losing  the  chord'  mean?" 

"This  is  rather  difficult  to  explain;  but  the  'chord' 
may  be  compared  to  the  wire  that  connects  one  tele- 
phone with  another  through  an  exchange.  Several 

*The  London  medium. 


54      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

people  may  be  thus  connected;  but  should  one  wire 
be  broken,  communication  would  be  interrupted. 
Vigo  has  lost  the  key.  We  shall  try  to  find  it  for 
her." 

"Theodore,  often  I  feel  as  if  a  current — some- 
times a  very  gentle  and  sometimes  a  strong  current 
i — were  flowing  suddenly  through  various  portions 
of  my  body?  Are  you  present  at  such  times,  and 
does  your  approach  cause  the  sensation  ?" 

"Yes.  This  is  caused  by  certain  etheric  vibra- 
tions set  in  motion  by  my  presence." 

"One  thing  more!  Do  you  know  that  Mrs.  H. 
sent  me  a  ouija-board  and  that  I  have  been  trying 
to  use  it?  Will  it  help  me  in  my  efforts  to  learn 
automatic  writing?" 

"I  of  course  knew  that  she  had  sent  it,  but  I  have 
not  wished  you  to  use  it.  Your  magnetism  is  not 
adapted  to  it.  You  will  succeed  best  by  simply 
holding  pencil  and  paper.  Sit  regularly  for  writ- 
ing and  I  will  try  to  help  you,  and  I  will  also  try  to 
get  help  for  you." 

"Please  explain  more  fully  just  what  you  mean 
when  you  tell  me  so  emphatically  to  'study  science/ 
I  hardly  know  how  or  where  to  begin.  You  know 
I  have  always  been  more  interested  in  literature 
than  in  philosophy,  and  more  interested  in  philoso- 
phy than  in  science,  and  I  hardly  know  how  to  set 
about  science." 

"I  know  that;  but  I  will  try  to  help  you,  and  I 
fern  sure  you  will  grow  to  understand  how  to  study 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING       55 

it.  I  think  your  perceptions  are  becoming  quicker. 
Science  is  the  one  subject  to  study.  Science  is 
based  on  nature's  laws,  and  a  knowledge  of  these 
laws  and  of  their  applications  constitute  wisdom." 
Then  my  husband  abruptly  added,  "Tell  the  lady 
who  was  talking  with  you  at  luncheon  that  she  is 
mistaken;  that  the  propositions  of  the  highest 
philosophy  all  rest  on  natural  law" 

"Yes!  I  think  I  realize  that  all  knowledge  is 
one;  that  the  evolutionary  process  is  universal  and 
obtains  on  all  planes,  but  I  am  very  ignorant  of 
science,  and  hardly  know  how  to  begin.  Will  you 
help  me?" 

"Yes,  I  will  help  you,  and  will  try  to  get  others, 
more  experienced  in  teaching  pupils  still  on  earth, 
to  help  you." 

"I  long  to  talk  about  your  life,  but  I  hardly  know 
how  to  ask  intelligent  questions  about  it.  I  am  so 
ignorant  of  its  conditions." 

"I  can  not  explain  about  my  life  yet,  and  I  like 
to  talk  about  yours,  which  we  can  talk  about 
profitably,  because  both  of  us  know  its  conditions 
and  its  language ;  but  you  are  being  subtly  trained  to 
perceive  the  conditions  'on  this  plane,'  and  by  and 
by  we  shall  be  able  to  discuss  them." 

Theodore  again  exhorted  me  to  prudence,  finally 
adding  with  a  most  characteristic  laugh,  "That's 
my  role  again — to  hold  you  back,"  and  then  eagerly, 
as  if  fearful  that  I  might  have  misunderstood,  he 
added,  "I  do  not  wish  you  to  think  that  I  want  to 


56      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

rein  you  in  and  keep  you  from  exercising  your  free 
will ;  I  only  wish  that  you  shall  say  nothing  publicly 
until  the  time  comes  when  you  can  prove  everything 
and  maintain  yourself  against  inevitable  criticism. 
In  three  years  that  time  may  come,  for  some  change 
— some  very  important  change — is  coming  in  about 
three  years." 

Then  I  gave  the  following  promise,  which  I  have 
tried  to  keep  inviolate:  "I  promise  never  to  speak 
in  public  on  this  subject  nor  to  make  any  public 
avowal  through  writing  until  I  have  your  full  ap- 
proval. I  willingly  shall  work  at  my  development 
three  years — I  wish  to  know  my  ground  before  I 
speak." 

Let  it  be  observed  that  this  conversation  took 
place  on  January  ist,  1899.  What  change  came 
"in  about  three  years"  a  later  chapter  of  this  volume 
tells. 

During  this  conversation  my  husband  told  me: 
"The  year  you  are  now  entering  on  will  be  much 
more  successful  than  the  past  year  has  been,  be- 
cause the  conditions  are  more  favorable — I  mean 
your  own  planetary  conditions  are  much  better  and 
your  efforts  in  all  directions  will  secure  larger  suc- 
cess— but  not  so  much  as  you  would  have  were 
general  conditions  more  settled." 

"You  mean  the  state  of  the  country?  Was  it 
not  horrible  for  us  to  have  war?" 

"Yes !  and  the  end  is  not  yet.  There  will  be  more 
trouble  before  there  is  less." 

Being  very  eager  to  have  the  International  Coun- 


57 

£il  promote  peace,  I  asked  my  husband  if  anything 
could  be  done  through  it  to  promote  harmony  among 
the  nations. 

"Not  just  now.  While  so  much  hate  and  anger 
exist,  nothing  can  be  done.  Our  people  have  been 
guilty  of  great  folly  and  arrogance  and  have  stirred 
up  great  animosity.  Not  only  in  Spain,  but  in  other 
Latin  countries  hate  is  aroused.  I  am  very  sorry 
for  McKinley.  He  did  not  wish  war.  He  was 
forced  into  it,  and,  being  in,  can  only  go  on.  I  am 
very  sorry  for  him." 

In  a  conversation  that  held  many  references  to 
the  manifestation,  i.  e.,  the  direct  communication 
which  my  husband  had  made  the  previous  summer 
through  Mrs.  B.,  I  asked  the  following  questions : 

"Have  you  seen  Mr.  Stead's  friend,  Julia,  since 
the  summer?" 

"Oh !  yes,  I  see  her  often." 

"Is  she  still  trying  to  get  a  Bureau  of  Communica- 
tion opened  between  the  two  planes  ?" 

"I  think  she  is." 

"Do  you  think  they  will  succeed?" 

"I  think  such  a  bureau  will  be  established,  but  not 
quite  yet." 

I  interrupted,  saying,  "You  mean  not  a  publicly 
acknowledged  agency;  for  private  bureaus  like  this 
must  be  numerous  now?" 

"Numerous,  but  not  conducted  by  a  definite  sys- 
tem as  an  acknowledged  public  agency  must  be. 
Study  science,  May,  study  science!" 

At  the  end  of  this  visit,  when  the  control  came 


58      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

as  usual  to  close  the  interview,  he  expressed  au 
earnest  wish  that  I  would  "stay  by  the  trumpet  a 
little  longer"  to  talk  with  him.  I  did  so,  and  in  the 
conversation  that  followed  I  told  him  how  solicitous 
I  was  to  comply  with  my  husband's  oft-repeated 
desire  that  I  should  study  science.  I  added,  "Ap- 
parently the  independent  development  of  the  subtle 
powers  can  come  only  through  the  study  of  natural 
science.  How  and  where  shall  I  begin?" 

"Why  you  have  begun;  you  began  some  time 
ago ;  but,  I  heard  a  little  girl  telling  you  to-day  that 
in  her  kindergarten  the  children  are  studying  the 
animal  kingdom.*  That  is  what  you  must  do. 
Animal  life  is  the  foundation.  You  must  study  its 
development." 

"Then,  there  really  are  animals  on  that  plane  ?" 

"Certainly;  no  life  is  ever  wasted.  Everything 
that  has  life  on  the  Earth  Plane  has  another  life  on 
this  plane." 

Before  our  conversation  closed  I  thanked  the 
control  for  his  aid  in  securing  for  me  so  many 
delightful  conversations  with  my  friends  during  the 
past  twenty-four  hours. 

With  the  greatest  eagerness,  the  control  replied, 
"Just  think  what  a  pleasure  it  is  for  us  to  find  some 
one  willing  to  listen  to  us  and  to  talk  with  us.  How 
many  millions  are  on  this  plane,  and  how  few  com- 


*This  was  a  direct  reference  to  what  my  small  niece  had 
told  me  in  a  charming  account  of  her  new  condition,  «.  e., 
the  condition  into  which  she  had  progressed  or  been  pro- 
moted since  our  last  meeting. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      59 

paratively  whose  friends  recognize  them :  fewer  still 
are  they  whose  friends  acknowledge  them,  even 
when  they  recognise.  It  is  terrible !" 

This  reply  recalled  what  my  mother  and  sister 
repeatedly  had  told  me  in  reference  to  the  loneliness 
of  many  new  arrivals  on  that  other  plane,  and  what 
my  husband  and  little  Annie  also  had  said  of  the 
disappointment  of  visitors  from  that  plane  who 
vainly  try  to  win  the  recognition  of  friends  on  this. 

Saying,  "We  shall  meet  again  this  year,  when  it 
is  warm  and  pleasant,"  the  control  retired  and  I 
was  left  to  reflect  on  the  experiences  of  the  most 
interesting  New  Year's  Day  I  had,  up  to  that  date, 
lived  through. 

Pondering  on  its  experiences,  only  a  few  of  which 
are  given  here,  my  determination  to  find  out  the 
law  under  the  operation  of  which  these  experi- 
ences had  been  enjoyed  grew  stronger,  and  the 
injunction,  "Study  science"  seemed  always  ringing 
in  my  ears. 

The  following  propositions  present  the  inferences 
then  deduced,  as  written  down  at  the  time. 

First:  While  every  one  after  passing  out  of  the 
flesh  realizes  the  continuance  of  life,  the  vividness 
of  the  realization  varies  with  different  people. 

Second :  Although  all  perceive  that  life  is  con- 
tinuous, not  all  realize  that  it  is  sequential. 

Third :  Large  numbers  of  people,  realizing  the 
continuance  of  love,  as  well  as  of  life,  and  finding 
that  they  possess  the  power  of  unfettered  movement 
from  place  to  place,  often  do  visit  the  Earth  Plane 


and  persistently  endeavor  to  induce  in  their  friends 
a  consciousness  of  their  presence. 

Fourth :  The  majority  of  those  who  have  passed 
on  are,  without  aid,  as  unable  to  reach  the  friends 
•who  remain  on  earth  as  these  are,  unaided,  to  reach 
those  who  have  experienced  death;  and  they  suffer 
from  inaccessibility  of  surviving  friends  as  these 
suffer  from  bereavement.  It  seems  probable,  how- 
ever, that  their  grief  is  mitigated  by  their  knowl- 
edge. 

Fifth:  The  deceased  can  obtain  assistance 
through  unusually  developed  excarnates,  as  we  on 
this  plane  can  get  help  from  similarly  unusually  de- 
veloped humans  still  incarnate.  The  two  such  un- 
usually developed  beings  serving  their  respective 
patrons  may  be  compared  to  the  "transmitter"  and 
"receiver"  employed  in  wireless  telegraphy,  each 
being  in  turn  both  transmitter  and  receiver. 

The  term  "control"  applied  to  the  assistant  on 
the  Etheric  Plane  I  think  inappropriate,  since  I  do 
not  observe  that  he  does  in  any  sense  control  either 
his  patrons  on  the  other  side,  or  myself  or  my  as- 
sistant on  this  side.  I  think  the  name  "medium" 
much  more  indicative  of  the  actual  service  rendered 
by  these  assistants  on  both  sides,  but  the  charla- 
tanism charged  against  such  assistants  indiscrim- 
inately by  ignorant,  prejudiced  persons  has  rendered 
the  title  "medium"  obnoxious.  I  should  like  to  see 
the  term  "interpreter"  applied  to  both. 

Sixth:    The  power  of  these  curiously  developed 


beings  on  both  sides  to  serve  their  respective  clients 
seems  to  be  due  to  their  ability  to  adjust  their  re- 
spective atmospheres  to  harmonious  vibrations.  This 
ability  is  apparently  owing  to  some  property  of  the 
ether  which,  I  understand,  constitutes  the  atmos- 
phere of  the  next  plane,  and  I  perceive  that  it 
could  not  vibrate  in  harmony  with  the  atmosphere 
of  our  plane  unless  the  same  property  entered  into 
the  latter.  I  am  also  certain  that  this  adjustment 
of  the  two  atmospheres  would  not  result  in  enabling 
the  denizens  of  both  planes  to  communicate  unless 
into  the  constitution  of  the  persons  on  both  planes 
there  also  entered  this  same  element,  whatever  it 
may  be,  which  is  called  ether. 

The  formulation  of  these  six  propositions  from 
my  reflections  upon  observations  indisputably  made 
when  I  myself  was  as  normal  as  I  am  capable  of 
being  seemed  to  me  almost  like  fruits  of  scientific 
study,  and,  at  least,  served  to  give  me  definite  sub- 
jects of  thought.  This,  to  a  positive  mind  like  my 
own,  which  resents  the  nebulous,  was  a  comfort. 

I  had  really  drawn  another  inference  which  I 
could  not  yet  shape  into  a  definite  proposition;  but 
it  seemed  pretty  clear  that  life  on  the  next  plane  is 
systematically  progressive,  and  more  carefully  or- 
dered even  than  on  this  plane,  but  that  each  in- 
dividual human's  progress  is  determined  by  his  own 
capacity  and  especially  by  his  own  will. 

However,  as  I  read,  reread  and  pondered  the 
contemporary  notes  of  this  New  Year  Day's  experi- 


'62      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

ence,  one  suggestion  frequently  made  with  equal 
matter-of-courseness  and  with  evidently  equal 
credence  by  people  of  different  ages,  of  opposite 
temperaments  and  of  evidently  various  degrees  of 
native  ability  and  culture  perplexed  me  sorely.  If 
earth  life  is  succeeded  by  another,  that  other  must 
in  the  nature  of  things  be  the  higher — and  yet,  were 
my  friends  in  that  higher  life  adopting  supersti- 
tions that  none  of  them  would  have  entertained 
here  for  a  single  moment?  They  had  spoken  of 
their  own,  of  one  another's  and  of  my  "planetary 
conditions,"  and  even  of  the  "planetary  conditions 
of  our  country  as  a  whole,"  as  what  I  then  regarded 
that  most  obsolete  of  charlatans,  the  astrologer, 
might  have  spoken.  I  could  hardly  credit  it,  but  I 
knew  it  to  be  a  fact.  Being  confused  and  puzzled 
by  it,  I  tried  to  dismiss  it  from  my  mind  until  an 
opportunity  should  arrive  for  me  to  consult  my 
husband  on  this  vexing  anomaly. 


CHAPTER  III 

INTERESTING  COMMUNICATIONS   FROM   PEOPLE  WHO, 

PRIOR  TO  DEATH,  DID  NOT  BELIEVE  IN  SURVIVAL. 

ETHERIC   MAGNETISM   AND    OTHER   FORCES 

ON  February  igth,  1899,  I  visited  the  independ- 
ent slate-writing  medium.  The  arrangements 
and  conditions  of  this  interview  were  identical  with 
those  already  described,  except  that  here  the  uncur- 
tained window  by  which  we  sat  commanded  an  urban 
winter,  instead  of  a  rural  summer  landscape.  On  six 
slates  closely  filled  with  legible  writing  in  different 
hands  I  received  replies  to  three  short  notes  to  my 
husband  and  one  each  to  my  father,  my  mother, 
Grandfather  Weeks  and  Frances  E.  Willard.  In 
some  instances  the  writing,  much  more  rapid  than 
formerly,  was  audible;  in  others,  not  a  sound 
reached  my  ear;  but  on  this  occasion  I  first  experi- 
enced a  sensation — a  sensation  difficult  to  describe 
— which  indicates  that  a  writing  is  finished.  Be- 
sides replies  from  all  the  persons  addressed,  I  re- 
ceived letters  from  two  others. 

One  of  these  communications,  signed  by  a  friend 
whose  skepticism  regarding  individual  survival  of 

63 


64      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

death  had  been  well-known  to  me,  closed  thus:  "I 
always  rejoice  when  I  can  come  back  and  give  an 
assurance  that  all  life  is  eternal  and  does  not  stop 
at  the  material  gate.  I  am  going  right  along,  just 
as  much  myself  as  ever  I  was;  and  independent  of 
the  cumbersome  material  body.  I  have  positively 
learned  one  thing.  When  I  was  in  the  mortal  en- 
vironment, not  believing  in  Heaven,  I  still  had  it 
in  mind  that  if  existing  at  all,  Heaven  was  a  loca- 
tion, and  that  simply  to  get  into  that  place  would 
secure  happiness.  I  now  know  that  Heaven  is  not 
a  place  to  which  we  go,  but  a  condition  which  comes 
to  us.  The  conditions  we  are  in,  that  is,  our  natural 
characters,  our  aspirations  make  us  variously  happy. 
'One  man's  meat  is  another  man's  poison'  here  as 
on  earth.  Were  Hell  a  veritable  place  and  Satan 
a  real  being,  would  Satan  be  happy  out  of  Hell? 
Yet — no  one  else  would  be  happy  there." 

The  other  friend  whom  I  had  not  addressed 
wrote:  "If  I  ever  knew  anything  at  all,  I  know 
that  I  am  here,  myself,  and  that  I  see  you  and  that 
life  of  the  spirit  and  its  power  to  return  to  earth  are 
facts.  I  had  my  doubts  and  my  fears  about  futurity 
when  I  was  in  the  mortal  world — but  these  are  all 
removed  by  experience." 

On  June  sixth,  en  route  to  New  York,  whither 
I  was  going  to  embark  for  Southampton,  I  visited 
a  psychic  in  Buffalo,  where  I  witnessed  a  new  mani- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      65 

festation.  This  psychic,  an  artist  by  profession,  re- 
ceived me  in  her  studio.  Her  attitude  was  that  of 
intent  listening.  She  seemed  perfectly  normal  and 
occasionally  interrupted  the  conversation  between 
myself  and  the  invisibles  with  remarks  of  her  own. 
I  can  compare  this  kind  of  communication  only  to 
that  carried  on  by  the  aid  of  a  telephone  through 
an  intermediary  for  one  either  unable  or  unwilling 
to  use  the  instrument  directly.  The  parallel  is  im- 
perfect only  because  in  this  case  intermediary  and 
instrument  seem  one.  But,  when  the  medium  inter- 
jected remarks,  there  was  just  the  same  evidence 
that  she  was  speaking  for  herself  as  there  is  when 
the  telephone  operator  turns  from  the  instrument, 
ceases  to  transmit  communications  and  addresses 
one  directly.  Two  interviews,  thus  conducted, 
lasted  five  hours;  the  substance  was  as  follows: 

My  husband  told  me  that  the  control  who  had 
been  speaking  to  me  was  a  Grecian  philosopher  of 
much  renown  in  his  own  time,  who  had  long  been 
on  the  Celestial  Plane,  but  had  within  the  last  few 
years  been  often  and  much  on  the  Etheric  Plane, 
because,  being  desirous  of  continuing  his  profession 
of  philosopher  and  teacher,  and  being  very  anxious 
to  enlighten  the  world  by  explaining  the  laws  gov- 
erning "spirit  return,"  he  was  seeking  an  adequate 
transmitter,  through  whose  agency  he  could  com- 
mand the  attention  of  the  world.  This,  it  was 
hoped,  he  had  found  in  this  artist,  but  she  was 


66      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

transmitter  simply,  without  any  study  or  knowledge 
of  philosophy,  and  without  influence  or  acquaintance 
with  influential  people. 

My  husband  further  said  that  he  had  brought  me 
there  to  talk  with  the  control  in  order  that  if  I 
became  interested  I  might  get  some  man  who  was 
an  authority  in  philosophy,  metaphysics  and 
psychology  to  read  what  the  Greek  wished  to  trans- 
mit and  decide  on  the  best  time  and  manner  of 
bringing  it  before  the  world. 

Although  I  felt  very  incompetent  to  ask  philo- 
sophic questions  and  utterly  unable  to  criticize  his 
replies,  I  enjoyed  conversing  with  the  control, 
named  Hermes.  In  the  midst  of  our  talk  it  sud- 
denly occurred  to  me  to  ask  if  he  knew  Doctor 
William  T.  Harris,  our  great  Hegelian.  Hermes 
replied  that  he  knew  Doctor  Harris,  and  if  I  felt 
like  reporting  this  interview  to  him  I  might  do  so; 
but  added:  "Although  Doctor  Harris  is  a  very 
kind,  very  reasonable  and  very  wise  man,  and  al- 
though he  has  long  known  this  truth,  he  is  not  yet 
ready  to  acknowledge  it." 

When  I  asked  Hermes  just  what  he  meant  by 
"this  truth,"  he  said  he  meant  "personal  immor- 
tality, the  existence  of  progressive  spheres  of  life 
on  the  Etheric  and  Celestial  Planes,  their  relation 
to  corresponding  spheres  on  the  Earth  Plane,  and 
the  power  of  the  nominally  dead  to  return  to  earth 
life." 

My  husband  advised  me  to  defer  placing  this 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      67 

matter  before  Doctor  Harris,  saying  that  it  might 
"in  time  come  about  naturally  and  in  a  way  which 
would  not  expose  my  own  interest  or  relation  to 
the  matter  so  clearly  as  would  be  inevitable  at  this 
time." 

Here  for  the  first  time  I  heard  of  what  my  hus- 
band called  my  "band,"  which  he  said  was  slowly 
forming;  that  it  was  yet  too  soon  for  me  to  know 
who  composed  it;  but,  he  assured  me  that  my  own 
growing  susceptibility  was  due  in  almost  equal 
measure  to  my  own  efforts  and  to  the  "band's"  aid. 
He  added  that  my  "band"  had  been  much  interested 
in  the  work  for  peace*  that  I  had  recently  done.  I 
was  startled  by  this  reference  to  my  work,  for  the 
subject  ordinarily  so  dear  to  me  had  been  quite 
excluded  from  my  mind  by  the  absorbing  nature  of 
the  day's  experience;  but  I  expressed  an  ardent 
wish  to  aid  in  creating  a  public  sentiment  which 
would  make  impossible  such  wars  as  were  being 
waged  in  the  Philippines.  The  reply  was:  "Our 
country  and  the  whole  world  will  have  much  to 
suffer  before  this  comes  about." 

During  this  interview  it  was  that  my  husband 
gave  me  my  first  lesson  in  concentration.  During 
the  afternoon  I  was  frequently  almost  overcome 
by  a  peculiar  drowsiness,  quite  new  to  me.  As  I  then 


*This  was  the  year  in  which  the  First  Peace  Conference 
had  been  convened  at  The  Hague,  and  I  had  organized  a 
demonstration  under  National  Council  auspices  which  had 
convened  several  hundred  meetings,  simultaneously  in  all 
parts  of  our  country. 


68      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

knew  of  no  drowsiness  except  that  whose  synonym 
is  sleepiness,  and  as  I  had  never  before  within  my 
memory  either  slept  or  felt  sleepy  in  the  daytime,  I 
was  both  astonished  and  annoyed. 

Expressing  my  perplexity,  I  was  told  that  the 
feeling  was  induced  by  currents  of  etheric  mag- 
netism, and  I  was  also  instructed  how  to  relieve 
myself  of  its  pressure. 

It  will  be  observed  that  this  experience  yielded 
five  distinct  additions  to  my  former  perceptions : 

First :    A  quite  new  method  of  communication. 

Second:  A  new,  very  important  and  interesting 
personality. 

Third :  A  definite  advanced  lesson  in  concentra- 
tion. 

Fourth :  A  definite  name,  etheric  magnetism,  for 
that  vital  element  of  the  atmosphere  of  the  Etheric 
Plane  which  I  had  recognized  in  its  function  and 
influence  in  former  interviews,  and 

Fifth :  I  had  been  brought  into  the  knowledge  of 
a  "band"  of  workers  on  the  Etheric  Plane,  said  to 
be  devoted  to  my  service. 

On  arriving  in  London,  my  first  care  was  to 
{communicate  with  Mrs.  B.,  with  whom  I  secured 
an  engagement  for  July  sixth. 

The  room,  its  furnishings  and  the  preparations 
for  the  interview  were  those  described  on  previous 
pages. 

Saying  that  the  conditions  seemed  to  her  very 
good,  Mrs.  B.  became  entranced  almost  instantly. 


69 

Vigo  greeted  me;  showed  much  pleasure  in  my 
return,  apologized  for  her  failure  to  keep  her  prom- 
ise to-  help  me,  and  expressed  the  hope  that  in  future 
she  should  be  able  to  retain  her  connection  with 
my  "band,"  which  she  assured  me  was  the  sole  con- 
dition of  her  helping  me  at  all,  except  when  I  was 
present  physically  with  Mrs.  B. 

Upon  assuming  Mrs.  B.'s  organism,  Vigo  said, 
"I  seem  to  see  a  building  being  constructed,  under 
your  direction.  I  should  say  it  is  for  education,  yet 
it  does  not  seem  altogether  like  a  school.  Is  it  not 
true  that  you  are  interested  in  the  construction  of 
some  building  at  this  time?" 

I  assented,  but  without  explanation,  for  an  addi- 
tion to  the  Girls'  Classical  School  was  being  put 
up,  and  although  it  was  "for  education,"  it  was  "not 
altogether  like  a  school,"  for  it  was  being  built  to 
shelter  the  new  department  of  "Household  Science," 
and  one  of  its  chief  features  was  a  model  kitchen. 
Vigo  apologized  for  postponing  Mr.  Sewall's  ar- 
rival by  assuring  me  that  it  was  a  part  of  her  office 
"to  adjust  atmospheres,"  which  "sometimes  is  a 
long  process,  especially  when,  as  to-day,  many  are 
to  use  this  organism  successively." 

Mr.  Sewall  used  Mrs.  B.'s  organism  with  much 
greater  ease  than  on  the  former  occasion.  He  con- 
firmed the  validity  of  the  communication  that  had 
just  been  made  to  me,  to  which  he  had  listened 
while  awaiting  his  turn  at  the  instrument.  Then 
followed  the  most  remarkable  conversation  with  my 


;o      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

husband  that  since  his  first  return  I  had  up  to  that 
date  enjoyed;  but  much  of  it  was  personal  and  re- 
lated to  many  people  whom  I  do  not  feel  at  liberty 
to  involve  in  this  narrative,  and  of  whose  existence 
I  feel  sure  Mrs.  B.  could  have  had  no  knowledge. 
I  may,  however,  say  that  these  very  features  of  the 
interview  afforded  me  as  time  went  by  a  new  proof 
of  its  validity  and  a  new  measure  of  the  keener 
perceptions  secured  by  the  conditions  of  the  Etheric 
Plane. 

During  the  strenuous  weeks  of  that  summer  I 
had  repeatedly  experienced  quite  novel  sensations, 
which  I  could  describe  only  as  being  like  currents 
of  electricity  coursing  through  my  veins.  I  now 
asked  my  husband  to  explain  to  me  the  source  and 
the  purpose  of  such  sensations. 

His  reply  was:  "You  have  been  working  very 
hard  and  I  have  tried  to  revive  you  from  the  Etheric 
Plane,  where  the  atmosphere  is  charged  with 
vitality.  I  have  known  that  you  have  felt  the  influx 
of  strength,  but  I  have  not  known  whether  you  yet 
were  realizing  its  source." 

I  explained  my  inability  to  keep  my  appointments 
with  him  regularly  either  on  shipboard  or  since  my 
arrival  in  London,  but  said  I  had  tried  to  talk  with 
him  every  night. 

His  reply  was :  "Yes !  I  know  it.  I  always  hear 
you  when  you  speak;  but  I  now  often  understand 
you  better  when  you  do  not  speak,  for  when  you 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING       71 

speak  aloud,  the  vibrations  are  so  strong  as  to  be 
almost  painful." 

I  further  complained  that,  although  with  more 
or  less  regularity  I  had  "sat  passively  for  writing 
during  the  past  year,"  I  had  not  achieved  it ;  but  he 
assured  me  that  my  development  had  begun  and 
that  I  should  get  writing.  He  further  expressed 
the  conviction  that  the  effect  of  the  interviews  which 
I  was  to  have  with  denizens  of  the  Etheric  and  the 
Celestial  Planes  would  quicken  my  development 
after  I  was  at  home  again,  and  he  gave  me  the  fol- 
lowing directions  as  an  aid : 

"At  night,  when  you  go  to  bed,  place  a  glass  of 
water  on  the  little  table  by  your  bed.  I  shall  use 
it  to  help  me  in  the  demonstrations  of  my  presence. 
In  the  morning  do  not  throw  the  water  away,  but 
pour  it  around  the  roots  of  some  plant  or  put  it  in 
a  vase  of  cut  flowers.  It  will  make  plants  grow  and 
will  keep  cut  flowers  from  withering,  because  it 
will  be  charged  with  etheric  magnetism."* 


*I  followed  this  direction  and  I  have  kept  flowers  in  water 
thus  charged  with  etheric  magnetism  for  three  and  even  four 
weeks,  which,  with  the  same  care  in  all  other  respects,  I  have 
never  been  able  to  keep  more  than  ten  days  or  rarely  two 
weeks.  By  applying  such  water  to  their  roots  I  have  also  been 
able  to  keep  maidenhair  fern  and  other  delicate  table  ferns 
proportionately  as  much  longer  than  with  the  same  care  in  all 
other  respects  they  could  bear  the  dry  hot  air  of  my  dining- 
room. 


J2      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

Vigo  explained  that  Mrs.  B.'s  inability  to  remain 
longer  away  from  her  tenement  was  due  to  the  fact 
that  "the  anxiety  caused  by  her  husband's  illness 
has  diminished  her  psychic  force,"  but  promised  that 
both  of  them  would  try  to  have  the  conditions  more 
perfect  for  my  next  interview,  which  was  set  for 
July  eighteenth.  Vigo  retired:  Mrs.  B.  reap- 
peared in  a  perfectly  normal  ctate,  and  when  I  asked 
if  she  knew  whom  my  visitors  had  been,  she  an- 
swered in  the  negative,  explaining  that  when  she  was 
in  what  was  termed  her  "entranced  state,"  she  was 
apparently  "quite  absent"  and  knew  nothing  of  what 
went  on — but  that  on  her  return  she  usually  "sensed 
conditions"  as  having  been  "harmonious  or  other- 
wise." 

On  Thursday,  July  eighteenth,  Mrs.  B.  was  al- 
most instantly  entranced,  and  Vigo,  while  prepar- 
ing the  organism  for  its  temporary  occupant,  said 
that  she  expected  a  satisfactory  interview  for  me; 
for  she  explained  that,  although  Mrs.  B.  was  much 
overworked,  the  conditions  which  they  had  together 
"worked  hard  to  make  favorable"  seemed  to  be  so. 

She  hurriedly  added:  "Here  comes  Mr.  Sewall, 
and  I  shall  give  him  possession.  I  shall  do  all  I 
can  to  give  him  strength." 

Mr.  Sewall  easily  took  control  of  the  organism 
and  through  it  spoke  to  me  at  length,  but  chiefly  on 
quite  personal  matters.  Finally  he  warned  me  that 
the  "force"  which  enabled  him  to  use  this  instru- 
ment was  growing  weak  and  he  asked  me  to  remain 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      73 

that  he  might  continue  the  conversation  by  aid  of 
Vigo,  who  would  speak  for  him.  He  added  that, 
in  this  atmosphere,  he  should  hear  and  understand 
every  word  that  I  might  say.  Vigo  came  and, 
through  her,  the  interview  was  prolonged  by  half 
an  hour.  At  its  end,  upon  my  husband's  with- 
drawal, she  repeated  the  information  that  had  been 
imparted  at  the  end  of  the  last  previous  interview 
in  a  slightly  different  form,  and  with  this  addition : 
"You  know,  Mr.  Sewall  is  a  very  advanced  soul. 

He  belongs  to  the  type;  indeed,  he  is 

really  the  last  in  this  direct  line.  You  are  not  of 
this  type,  but  you  are  related  to  it,  and  this  is  why 
your  union  is  so  close  and  why  your  husband  can 
help  you  so  much.  The  end  of  this  type  and  of  this 
cycle  approaches." 

Vigo  left  the  organism,  and  co-instantly,  one 
might  say,  Mrs.  B.  sat  there  in  normal  conscious- 
ness. Her  first  remark  was  charged  with  new  in- 
timations of  knowledge.  She  said,  "You  must  have 
had  a  very  beautiful  interview,  for  the  room  is  still 
full  of  rare,  colored  ethers,  and  your  own  aura  is 
distinctly  visible." 

I  exclaimed,  "Do  you  mean  to  say,  Mrs.  B.,  that 
you  see  color  in  the  air  here,  now  ?" 

"Yes !  It  is  full  of color.  I  have  been 

told,  I  do  not  know,  but  I  have  been  told  that  this 

color  indicates  and  identifies  the type  and 

that  it  emanates  only  from  persons  belonging  to 


74      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

that  line.  I  often  see  colors,  but  this  is  the  second 
time  in  my  life  that  I  have  seen  this." 

I  told  Mrs.  B.  the  date  of  my  departure  for 
America,  and  she  said  she  would  try  to  secure  some 
message  from  Mr.  Sewall  to  meet  me  at  the  boat 
when  I  should  embark  for  New  York. 

When  the  tender  was  taking  me  out  from  the 
harbor  of  Southampton  to  board  the  Bremen,  among 
the  letters  I  received  were  two  from  my  husband 
enclosed  in  a  brief  note  from  Mrs.  B.,  explaining 
that  one  of  the  enclosures  had  been  dictated  directly 
to  her  by  Mr.  Sewall,  and  that  the  other  had  been 
given  to  her  by  Vigo,  speaking  for  him. 

The  first  was  wholly  personal  and  gave  me  some 
late  news  from  home,  which,  on  my  arrival  there, 
bore  the  test  of  a  comparison  of  dates  and  incidents. 

The  second  was  longer,  and  contained  two  para- 
graphs which  seemed  to  give  further  hints  of  how 
to  "study  science." 

"Mr.  Sewall  wishes  me  to  say  that  the  chord  of 
communication  between  himself  and  his  wife  is 
strengthening;  that  she  will  hear  a  sound  like  the 
chirping  of  a  nestling  in  her  ear ;  this  sound  he  will 
make  to  denote  his  presence;  when  she  hears  the 
little  twittering,  she  is  to  place  her  hand  on  her 
forehead  and  try  to  understand,  for  this  is  the  code 
by  which  he  will  communicate. 

"Mr.  Sewall  says  that  the  use  of  such  codes  will 
become  general  by  bringing  forward  the  possibilities 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      75 

of  the  human  brain.  He  says  there  are  certain 
organs  in  the  brain  which  the  surgeons  have  not  yet 
discovered,  and  this  fact  will  be  demonstrated  to 
his  wife  during  the  next  year." 

This  was  done. 

From  New  York  I  proceeded  to  Lily  Dale, 
anxious  to  celebrate  the  second  anniversary  of  my 
first  psychic  experience  where  it  had  occurred.  As 
soon  as  I  was  seated  with  the  trumpet,  the  control's 
strong  voice  rang  out  in  hearty  greeting:  "Well, 
Mrs.  Sewall,  how  do  you  do  ?  I  am  glad  to  see  you 
so  soon  again;  I  expected  to  see  you  this  summer, 
but  I  was  not  sure  just  when  it  would  be."  Thus 
was  I  reminded  of  the  control's  assurance  that  we 
should  "meet  in  the  warm  weather." 

My  husband  at  once  referred  to  some  of  my  ex- 
periences in  England  that  had  occurred  after  our 
late  interview,  and  of  which  I  had  not  communicated 
a  word  to  any  one,  and  he  gave  an  interpretation 
quite  opposite  to  that  which  I  had  placed  on  them, 
which  at  the  time  I  could  not  credit,  but  which  sub- 
sequent events  sustained. 

My  mother  explained  the  disappointing  failure  of 
my  father  to  talk  with  me  by  saying  that  he  was 
with  my  brother,  who  was  not  well,  and  my  father 
"felt  constrained  to  go  to  him  and  try  to  help  him."* 

*-^ ,  the  relative  before  referred  to,  came 

*Two  days  later  a  letter  came  telling  me  of  my  brother's 
illness. 


76      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

and  eagerly  thanked  me  for  the  help  I  had  given 
him,  and  when  I  expressed  my  surprise,  he  re- 
proached me  with  undervaluing  my  help,*  saying 
that  he  experienced  great  benefit  from  it 

When  I  called  on  Mr.  J.  C.  W.,  he  received  me 
in  his  normal  state,  but  presently  said,  "Perhaps 
you  remember  that  I  am  dependent  on  John  Shaw 
to  put  me  in  a  trance  state,  in  which  my  organism 
is  either  occupied  or  controlled  by  George  Rushton. 
"John,"  added  Mr.  W.,  "is  a  rough  fellow  without 
cultivation,  but  with  a  good  heart  and  willingly  does 
his  part  in  this  service." 

Mr.  W.  then  experienced  the  usual  convulsion, 
and  "John  Shaw,"  as  different  a  personality  from 
Mr.  W.  as  one  can  well  imagine,  in  a  half-banter- 
ing way  said  a  few  words  preparatory  to  the  arrival 
of  George  Rushton.  There  was  a  marked  differ- 
ence in  the  countenance,  the  attitude  and  the  entire 
bearing  of  Mr.  W.  the  instant  that  Rushton  took 
possession  of  his  organism. 

The  impression  produced  on  my  mind  was  exactly 
that  which  would  be  occasioned  were  a  jolly, 
heavy  peasant  to  withdraw  from  the  room  and  a 
graceful,  courteous,  dignified,  cultured  gentleman 
enter  it  and  occupy  the  chair  just  vacated  by  the 
peasant. 

A  conversation  of  more  than  an  hour  followed, 

*I  had  followed  the  directions  of  my  sister  and  frequently 
had  asserted  my  affection  for  him  but  not  till  he  reminded  me 
of  this  fact  did  I  recall  it. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      77 

in  which  I  tried  to  get  from  Mr.  Rushton  a  clearer 
understanding1  of  the  injunction  to  "study  science." 
I  say  from  Mr.  Rushton,  because  my  friends  did 
not  approach  me  through  his  agency,  and  apparently 
he  expressed  only  his  own  views. 

By  Mr.  Rushton,  and  also  later  by  Hermes,  La- 
monti  and  my  husband,  in  long-  conversations  con- 
ducted through  the  artist  by  her  peculiar  method 
(already  described),  I  was  told  that  it  is  through 
the  mediation  of  the  magnetisms  which  pervade  the 
etheric  and  the  physical  atmospheres  that  the 
mediums — those  whom  I  think  may  better  be  called 
the  interpreters  of  the  two  planes — are  rendered  in- 
telligible to  each  other.  This  quite  new  fact  I  also 
learned,  viz. :  that  the  generation  of  etheric  mag- 
netism is  the  special  and  sole  function  of  many 
people  on  the  Etheric  Plane  who,  though  unlearned 
and  mentally  undeveloped  when  they  passed  to  that 
plane,  have  vigorous,  kindly  and  sympathetic 
natures  and  are  moved  by  the  instinct  of  helpful- 
ness. 

It  was  at  this  time  that  my  husband's  appeals 
to  "study  science"  were  first  clearly  understood  by 
me  to  indicate  his  desire  that  I  should  study  this 
subject;  that  is,  the  relation  between  planes  of  con- 
scious human  life,  scientifically.  These  injunctions 
were  now  confirmed  with  the  most  emphatic  depre- 
cation of  connecting  any  superstitious  or  religious 
feeling  with  my  experiences,  and  I  was  earnestly 


;8      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

assured  that  there  is  no  such  thing  as  "supernatural" 
phenomena  or  experience. 

With  these  instructions  my  own  opinions  and 
habits  of  thought  were  perfectly  harmonious.  I 
had  long  been  accustomed  to  discriminating  between 
the  supernatural  and  the  super-comprehended. 

As  my  own  knowledge  of  the  reality  of  phe- 
nomena, and  the  reliability  of  experience  increased, 
my  husband's  cautions  to  maintain  secrecy  also  in- 
creased, and  at  this  time  he  told  me  that  thus  far 
I  had  been  brought  into  contact  with  no  interpreter 
on  the  Earth  Plane  whose  introduction  to  me  had 
not  been  secured  and  pre-arranged  by  himself. 

He  also  told  me  that  as  the  knowledge  of  "new 
open  doors"  between  planes  spreads  in  the  etheric 
realm,  the  desire  to  return  to  earth  by  every  such 
new  door  increases,  and  that  herein  is  the  only 
danger  connected  with  this  investigation.  At  the 
same  time  he  emphatically  declared  that  the  danger 
of  undiscriminating  or  promiscuous  association  with 
those  on  the  other  side  could  hardly  be  exaggerated ; 
he  promised  that  he  would  protect  me  against  in- 
trusion, and  I,  in  accordance  with  his  request,  prom- 
ised to  continue  the  strictest  observance  of  the  rule 
long  ago  laid  down,  never  to  receive  a  visit  from 
that  side,  or  to  consult  an  interpreter  on  this,  not 
introduced  by  himself. 

As  the  reader  can  hardly  fail  to  perceive  the 
progress  made  or  indicated  in  these  interviews,  I 
regard  a  formal  summary  as  superfluous. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      79 

On  September  twenty-seventh  I  received  a  note 
signed  by  an  unknown  name.  The  writer  said  he 
was  to  be  in  Indianapolis  for  a  month  and,  believ- 
ing that  we  might  have  some  common  interests,  de- 
sired to  call.  I  named  a  convenient  hour  and  re- 
ceived a  visitor  whose  bearing  and  conversation  were 
those  of  an  intelligent,  cultivated  gentleman. 

I  learned  that  my  guest  had  been  a  Unitarian 
clergyman;  that  early  in  his  ministerial  career  he 
had  become  interested  in  the  investigation  of  the 
claims  of  modern  spiritualism;  that  this  had  re- 
sulted in  the  conviction  that  it  was  his  duty  to  re- 
place the  inculcation  of  faith  by  the  more  cogent 
arguments  derived  from  direct  personal  knowledge ; 
that,  to  do  this,  he  had  resigned  his  pastorate  and 
that  his  studies  had  developed  his  psychic  powers 
beyond  those  of  the  average  professional.  Mr.  G. 
said  that  he  had  been  "influenced  from  the  Etheric 
Plane"  to  seek  my  acquaintance,  and  the  validity  of 
his  impression  was  confirmed  by  the  fact  that  in  his 
presence  I  experienced  a  marked  increase  of  those 
sensations  already  described  which  I  had  come  to 
associate  with  my  husband's  presence. 

Of  what  Mr.  G.  communicated  to  me  I  shall  men- 
tion only  two  items,  both  of  which  he  called  "tests." 
One  of  them  reproduced  an  incident  of  the  past 
summer  which  I  was  certain  was  known  to  no  one 
in  earth  life  but  myself,  and  which  was  revealed  to 
Mr.  G.  by  my  husband,  whose  knowledge  of  it 
could  only  be  explained  on  the  theory  that  he  had 


80      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

been,  as  he  asserted,  an  invisible  witness  of  the 
incident. 

The  other  was  an  automatic  letter  dictated  by 
my  husband,  who  assured  me  that  I  should  go 
abroad  the  following  summer,  and  that  I  should 
have  an  important  work  to  do  in  Paris.  I  protested 
that  this  was  impossible,  because,  were  all  other 
conditions  favorable,  means  were  wanting.  My  hus- 
band assured  me  that  I  would  find  myself  unpre- 
pared to  do  important  work  that  it  was  my  privilege 
to  do  unless  through  the  winter  I  should  direct  all 
my  efforts  in  Council  work  on  the  assumption  that 
I  was  to  spend  the  summer  in  Paris.  My  husband 
assured  me  that  plans  for  this  were  being  made  on 
the  Etheric  Plane,  which  would  later  be  presented 
for  my  approval  and  execution;  and  that  he  had 
taken  this  means  of  reaching  me  and  had  revealed 
his  knowledge  of  a  recent  past  experience  in  order 
to  receive  my  credence  for  something  to  be  com- 
municated later. 

Mr.  G.  gave  me  a  note  of  introduction  to  a  lady* 
of  whom  I  had  never  heard,  saying  that  he  felt 
himself  moved  to  give  it  in  the  same  way  that  he 
had  felt  moved  to  seek  my  acquaintance,  and  that 
while  he  had  received  nothing  from  any  source 
that  one  would  call  a  communication  and  had  noth- 
ing but  his  "feelings"  to  rely  upon,  he  believed  this 


*Miss  Bangs,  of  Chicago. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      8r 

introduction  was  "impulsed"  and  would  lead  to  a 
significant  experience.* 

The  week  following  those  incidents,  accompanied 
by  a  teacher  in  the  Shortridge  High  School  of  In- 
dianapolis, I  went  to  Chicago  to  attend  the  annual 
meeting  of  The  Association  of  Collegiate  Alumnae. 
We  stopped  at  the  Grand  Pacific  Hotel. 

The  second  day  after  my  arrival  I  separated  my- 
self from  my  friend,  and  presenting  the  letter  of 
introduction  furnished  by  Mr.  G.  arranged  for  a 
professional  interview  with  its  recipient  at  four 
thirty  P.  M.  the  next  day.  When  the  hour  arrived 
rain  was  falling  heavily  and  the  wind  was  violent. 
Miss  B.  said  that  the  conditions  were  unfavorable. 
To  my  inquiry  how  the  storm  could  affect  the  con- 
ditions, her  reply  was  that  she  did  not  know  how, 
but  that  as  a  fact  "the  electrical  conditions  of  the 
atmosphere  do  modify  the  vibrations,  and  they  say 
everything  depends  on  vibrations."  In  assertions 
of  fact,  Miss  B.  was  as  positive  as  other  psychics 
I  had  questioned,  apparently  more  vague  in  ex- 
planation, and  even  more  ignorant  of  the  causes  of 
phenomena.  She  said  she  had  always  from  her 
childhood  "been  accompanied  by  phenomena,"  but 
that  of  its  causes  she  knew  nothing;  had  never 
thought  about  cause;  it  did  not  interest  her.  I 
gained  no  new  knowledge  of  principles,  but  I  added 


*This  experience  is  related  farther  on. 


two  new  facts  to  my  accumulation  of  material  for 
reflection.  For  the  first  time  I  received  "independ- 
ent writing  on  paper,"  and  also  carried  on  a  long 
coherent,  satisfactory  conversation  by  means  of  a 
"private  telegraphic  code."  As  this  was  my  first 
experience  of  them  I  shall  describe  both  processes. 

Miss  B.  and  myself  sat  on  opposite  sides  of  a 
small  table  which  with  our  two  chairs,  a  carpet,  a 
few  framed  photographs  on  the  wall,  and  a  few 
trifles  on  the  mantel  above  a  small  fireplace,  con- 
stituted the  sole  furniture  of  a  small  back  parlor. 
I  think  its  dimensions  were  not  more  than  eight 
by  ten.  On  top  of  the  table  were  two  slates  and 
a  bottle  ,of  ink. 

As  the  process  mentioned  last  was  the  first  em- 
ployed I  describe  it  first.  I  propounded  questions 
to  my  husband  exactly  as  if  he  had  been  present  in 
the  flesh,  and  his  replies  were  made  as  if  by  tele- 
graph; the  tick,  tick,  coming  to  the  ear  exactly  as 
if  clicked  on  the  machine  at  a  telegraphic  office, 
was  read  by  Miss  B.  as  an  arriving  telegram  would 
be  read  by  a  telegraph  operator.  The  answers  and 
comments,  like  my  questions,  pertained  to  subjects, 
persons,  places  and  events  which  in  the  nature  of 
things  must  have  been  utterly  unknown  to  the  op- 
erator; but  there  was  not  an  instant's  hesitation  nor 
was  there  an  irrelevant  word ;  and,  as  events  proved, 
where  the  conduct  of  persons  in  relation  to  matters 
not  yet  matured  was  involved  there  was  not  one 
mistaken  opinion  uttered. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      83 

My  husband  told  me  that  he  had  never  before 
used  this  method  of  communication,  but  reminded 
me  that  this  was  what  he  was  trying  to  awaken  my 
auditory  nerves  to  by  the  tapping  in  my  ears,  and 
expressed  the  hope  that  this  experience  would  help 
us  both  "in  perfecting  our  private  code,  as  this 
would  be  the  quickest,  most  accurate  and  least  ob- 
trusive external  method"  by  which  he  could  reach 
me. 

I  next  wrote  a  letter  containing  numerous  ques-» 
tions,  folded  it  with  several  sheets  of  blank  paper 
and  sealed  it  in  an  envelope  addressed  to  my  hus- 
band. Having  washed  off  two  slates,  I  placed  the 
sealed  letter  between  them,  tied  them  fast  with  my 
own  handkerchief,  and  held  them  firmly  in  my 
hands.  Miss  B.  then  dropped  some  ordinary  black 
ink  on  a  small  bit  of  ordinary  blotting  paper,  and 
placed  it  on  the  upper  surface  of  the  top  slate,  I 
holding  the  slates  firmly  all  the  time,  and  I  alone 
touching  them.  In  a  few  minutes  Miss  B.  said  that 
my  letter  was  answered.  I  thereupon  untied  the 
slates  and  on  opening  the  envelope  found  that  the 
paper  which  I  had  put  in  blank  was  covered  with 
clear  script  in  black  ink  in  a  writing  resembling  but 
not  duplicating  that  of  my  husband.  There  were 
six  pages,  which  when  read  proved  to  be  an  orderly, 
coherent,  categorical  reply  to  my  letter.  The  an- 
swers were  numbered  to  correspond  with  numbered 
questions.  I  was  too  astonished  to  have  any  wish 
but  to  withdraw  to  reread  this  novel  communication. 


84      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

As  I  expressed  this  feeling  and  rose  to  go  the 
click  of  telegraphy  began  and  Miss  B.,  interpreting 
it,  said :  "Your  husband  wishes  to  know  if  you  have 
not  some  other  desire."  I  replied  that  I  was  always 
wishing  for  the  long-ago  promised  portrait  of  him- 
self and  wished  that  in  some  way  he  could  contrive 
to  give  it  to  me  for  our  anniversary,  or  at  least  for 
my  next  Christmas  gift. 

His  reply  was :  "I'll  give  it  to  you  at  once." 

Miss  B.  asked  if  it  were  possible  for  me  to  have 
another  sitting  with  her  before  I  should  go  home. 

Regretfully  I  explained  that  I  was  obliged  to  re- 
turn to  Indianapolis  on  the  next  day. 

"Click !  Click !"  louder  and  more  determined  than 
any  of  the  previous  sounds,  and  Miss  B.  said :  "Your 
husband  wishes  me  to  give  you  the  portrait  to- 
night," but  added:  "That  is  impossible,  I  have 
worked  all  day  and  am  very  tired ;  besides  my  por- 
traits are  painted  by  daylight.  It  is  impossible  to 
do  such  work  after  dark,  and  it  is  dark  now." 

There  was  loud,  rapid,  telegraphic  remonstrance, 
and  Miss  B.  interpreted  the  eager  ticks  of  the  in- 
visible instrument  thus:  "Your  husband  insists  that 
the  conditions  are  favorable,  that  he  wishes  to  sit 
for  his  portrait  this  evening;  that  he  will  tell  us 
both  exactly  what  to  do,  and  that  if  we  obey,  he  is 
certain  of  results." 

Telegraphically,  as  before  described,  I  received 
directions,  which,  as  I  obeyed  them  to  the  letter,  may 
be  inferred  from  the  following  recital. 

From  my  hand-bag  I  removed  a  photograph  case 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      85 

containing  two  photographs  of  my  husband,  and 
placed  it  closed  and  clasped  between  the  two  slates 
already  mentioned;  tied  them  fast  with  my  hand- 
kerchief and  wrapped  them  in  heavy  paper  sup- 
plied me  from  another  room  by  Miss  B.*  Then  I 
returned  to  my  hotel,  placed  the  parcel  tied  as  it 
was  in  my  trunk  and  left  it  there  until  after  dinner ; 
when  I  unfastened  the  slates,  removed  the  enclosure 
and  left  it,  (that  is,  the  photograph  case  with  the 
photographs)  in  my  trunk.  Wrapping  the  slates  in 
the  paper,  I  tied  them  fast  and  with  them  returned 
to  the  residence  of  Miss  B.,  where  I  had  been  prom- 
ised that  if  all  the  conditions  were  obeyed,  the  por- 
trait should  be  painted  that  very  evening. 

At  half  past  eight  o'clock  that  evening  I  was  re- 
entering  the  room  already  described,  with  the 
empty  slates  wrapped  and  tied  in  my  hand. 

The  aspect  of  trie  room  was  exactly  as  described 
on  page  82,  except  that  now  resting  on  the  floor 


*I  think  this  is  a  good  place  to  narrate  a  trifling  incident  of 
the  conversation  which  took  place  when  the  instructions,  com- 
plied with  as  above  described,  were  given.  Tick  1  Tick !  and 
Miss  B.  reported  in  a  surprised  and  irritated  tone  that  my 
husband  promised  to  give  me  his  miniature  also  at  some 
future  time.  The  psychic  through  whose  instrumentality  a 
portrait  had  just  been  promised  evidently  resented  the  promise 
of  a  miniature;  she  had  "never  heard  of  such  a  thing  as  get- 
ting a  miniature  of  some  one  on  the  other  side"  and  said, 
"The  proposal  is  absurd."  But  the  click,  click,  interrupted 
her  protest,  and  saying,  "Well,  it's  very  strange,  but  he  insists," 
she  apparently  yielded  the  point  as  possible,  saying,  "I  have 
found  that  they  always  know  what  they  want,  and  that  they 
never  promise  anything  without  finding  a  way  of  making  the 
promise  good."  I  was  eager  to  have  the  time  for  my  receiving 
the  miniature  fixed  at  once,  but  my  husband  said  that  he 
could  not  do  this,  but  I  might  depend  on  getting  it  sometime. 


86      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

and  leaning  against  the  wall,  there  were  a  dozen  or 
two  stretched  canvases  apparently  ready  for  the 
easel.  These  varied  in  size  from  the  "quarter" 
usually  chosen  for  a  head,  to  the  "eighteen  by 
twenty-four  inch,"  generally  used  for  life-size  bust 
portraits.  Except  the  articles  already  named  noth- 
ing else  was  visible  in  the  room.  My  senses  all 
seemed  sharpened  to  their  keenest  as  I  examined 
every  detail.  I  opened  each  of  the  three  doors — • 
one  led  from  the  entrance  hall  through  which  I  had 
just  passed ;  one  from  the  parlor  in  which  I  had  been 
first  received  at  my  afternoon  visit  and  the  third 
from  an  adjacent  sitting-room.  The  room  had  but 
one  window ;  this  was  screened  by  an  ordinary  green 
shade  and  an  equally  ordinary  lace  curtain;  the 
only  light  was  from  a  single  gas-jet  in  a  wall 
bracket  in  one  corner  of  the  room. 

Miss  B.  met  me  cordially  and  said  that,  although 
she  had  never  been  instrumental  in  producing  and 
had  never  seen  produced  what  she  called  "a  spirit 
portrait"  by  artificial  light,  she  had  received  from 
her  guides  such  cheerful  and  pleasant  impressions 
of  success  that  she  believed  a  great  pleasure  was  in 
store  for  me. 

I  asked  what  was  to  be  done  and  was  told  that 
the  first  step  was  for  me  to  select  a  canvas  from 
among  those  resting  on  the  floor.  I  was  urged  to 
look  them  all  over  carefully  and  take  the  size  pre- 
ferred. As  I  turned  over  those  blank  white  can- 
vases, holding  each  in  turn  against  and  under  the 
light,  hope  failed;  no  paint,  no  brushes^  no  artist 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      87 

in  the  room;  how  was  it  possible  to  obtain  a  por- 
trait of  any  one  ?  How,  indeed,  of  an  invisible  sub- 
ject who,  if  present,  belonged  to  another  plane  of 
life? 

At  that  moment  I  was  almost  overcome  by  doubt 
and  the  fear  of  disappointment;  however,  I  finished 
my  examination  of  the  canvases  by  choosing  one 
suitable  to  receive  a  bust  life  size,  and  awaited  fur- 
ther instructions. 

Following  Miss  B.'s  directions,  I  placed  the  can- 
vas on  top  of  the  two  heavy  slates  tied  together  by 
my  own  handkerchief  as  I  had  brought  them  from 
the  hotel,  and  seated  myself  in  one  of  the  two  chairs, 
Miss  B.  occupying  the  chair  opposite.  I  then  placed 
my  hands  on  the  upper  surface  of  one  end  of  the 
canvas,  while  she,  placing  her  hands  similarly  on 
the  other  remarked  that  this  would  assist  in  mag- 
netizing the  canvas.  In  a  few  moments  she  said,  "I 
think  it  is  ready  now;"  and  in  reply  to  my  query, 
"What  next?"  she  said,  "I've  always  held  canvases 
when  I  was  working  for  a  picture  in  front  of  a 
window.  I  suppose  this  must  be  held  in  front  of 
the  gas-light."  We  pushed  the  table  toward  the 
light  and,  holding  the  canvas  before  the  gas-light 
with  both  hands,  I  waited.  Presently  Miss  B.  said 
that  it  would  tire  me  to  hold  it  alone  and  that  if 
I  would  simply  hold  it  by  one  side  she  would  hold 
it  by  the  other;  she  added  that  I  looked  tired,  that 
my  "magnetism  was  being  drawn  on  too  strongly." 
I  was  not  conscious  of  any  fatigue;  but  I  was 
startled,  for  already  I  had  seen  an  outline  of 


88      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

husband's  face  and  form  shaping  itself  on  the  can- 
vas on  which  my  eyes  had  been  fixed  from  the 
first  moment  of  my  taking  it  in  my  hands.  I  could 
hardly  credit  my  vision,  but  the  outline  grew  more 
distinct;  color  was  added  to  form;  it  assumed 
an  aspect  of  warm  life  and  seemed  to  smile.  The 
psychic  called  her  sister  to  come  to  help  us.  The 
dady  came,  but  saying,  "There  is  power  enough 
here  without  me,"  withdrew  in  an  instant.  I  con- 
tinued to  hold  the  canvas  by  one  side,  Miss  B.  by 
the  other,  while  the  portrait  continued  to  perfect 
itself  before  my  eyes. 

Presently,  I  realized  it  to  be  finished  and  taking 
it  wholly  in  my  own  hands  examined  it  as  closely 
as  possible.  It  was  a  beautiful  portrait,  a  perfect 
replica  of  my  husband's  features  and  coloring,  deli- 
cate and  refined,  but  vigorous  and  wearing  the 
aspect  of  perfect  health.  Consulting  my  watch  I 
found  that  less  than  a  half-hour  had  passed  since  I 
selected  the  canvas. 

Miss  B.  said  that  it  was  the  most  rapid  work  she 
had  ever  witnessed,  and  added,  "The  conditions 
have  been  extraordinarily  harmonious." 

I  asked,  "But  who  painted  it?" 

The  reply  was,  "I  do  not  know.  You'll  have 
to  ask  the  subject  or  some  one  else  who  was  pres- 
ent from  the  other  side." 

I  asked  the  portrait — if  it  were  not  by  Raphael, 
as  to  my  eyes  it  had  the  tone  and  coloring  associated 
with  the  Italian  master's  work.  As  quick  as  thought 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      89 

the  invisible  telegraph  began  to  click!  Miss  B.  in- 
terpreted :  "Not  by  the  great  Master,  but  by  a  pupil 
of  Raphael." 

I  then  had  a  short  sitting  for  communication  and 
my  husband  expressed  great  pleasure  in  my  satis- 
faction with  the  portrait. 

My  next  perplexity  was  what  to  do  with  my  new 
treasure.  I  could  not  take  it  to  my  room  at  the 
hotel  without  attracting  the  notice  of  my  friend; 
moreover  the  trunk  I  had  with  me  was  too  small 
to  receive  it. 

Miss  B.  assured  me  that  she  would  pack  it  and 
send  it  by  express  on  Monday.  (This  was  Satur- 
day night.)  She  said  she  was  constantly  sending 
portraits  to  all  parts  of  the  country,  but  repeated 
that  she  had  never  before  painted  one  at  night.  I 
disliked  to  be  separated  from  my  new  possession, 
but  as  in  almost  every  interview  with  my  husband  I 
had  been  urged  to  secrecy,  and  as  I  could  think  of 
no  other  way  to  secure  it,  I  returned  to  my  hotel, 
reaching  it  after  less  than  an  hour's  absence. 

Had  the  canvas  never  reached  me,  or  had  it 
been  blank  when  it  arrived,  I  believe  my  surprise 
would  have  been  far  less  than  it  was  when  on 
opening  the  parcel  delivered  by  the  express  com- 
pany on  Tuesday  morning  I  found  the  canvas  per- 
fect as  a  portrait  and  beautiful  as  a  picture,  but 
with  an  indescribable  intangible  expression  of  life, 
distinguishing  it  from  every  other  portrait  I  had 
up  to  that  time  seen. 


90      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

From  an  entry  in  my  diary  made  fourteen  months 
after  this  incident  I  quote  the  following :  "The  por- 
trait hangs  over  the  mantel  in  my  bedroom;  for 
the  first  few  weeks  I  used  to  run  down  from  my 
•work*  at  intervals  daily  to  take  a  look  at  it  to  make 
sure  that  it  had  not  vanished  by  a  process  as  mys- 
terious as  that  by  which  it  had  been  produced,  but 
it  stays,  it  is  a  delicate  glorious  piece  of  work.  I 
have  shown  it  to  no  one,  but  the  room  where  it 
hangs  is  sometimes  used  as  a  dressing-room,  where 
at  receptions  my  friends  remove  their  wraps,  and 
a  number  of  them  have  commented  on  the  portrait, 
asking  where  I  had  it  done  and  by  whom.  I  al- 
ways say  that  it  was  the  gift  of  a  friend.  Most 
who  mention  it  speak  with  warm  admiration,  but 
some  of  the  closest  observers  say,  'It  is  a  beautiful 
portrait  and  very  lifelike,  but  there  is  something 
peculiar  in  the  expression.'  I  know  that  these 
words  are  an  unconscious  recognition  of  that  sub- 
tle indescribable  something  which  attaches  to  it 
and  distinguishes  it  from  paintings  produced  by 
ordinary  methods;  there  is  something  peculiar 
about  it,  for  at  times,  under  my  gaze,  its  expression 
changes  even  to  a  living  smile.  I  know  this  is  not 
a  fancy.  From  the  first  hour  of  my  conviction  that 
it  would  stay,  it  has  been  a  complete  cure  for  my 
insistent  incredulity." 

After  the  incident  of  the  portrait  I  maintained 


*In  the  Girls'  Classical  School. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      91 

an  irregular  correspondence  with  my  husband 
through  Miss  B.  I  placed  with  my  own  letter  to 
him  several  sheets  of  blank  paper  for  his  reply  in 
an  envelope  addressed  to  myself  and  so  sealed  that 
it  would  be  impossible  for  one  to  open  the  envelope 
without  leaving  marks  of  tampering.  This  envelope 
I  enclosed  in  another  addressed  to  Miss  B.  In  due 
time  my  letter  was  always  returned  with  intelligent 
characteristic  replies  germane  to  the  subjects 
broached  by  me,  which  usually  pertained  to  matters 
quite  personal  of  which  no  one  else  could  be  cog- 
nizant. 

Getting  the  portrait  was  a  great  mental  experience 
to  me.  The  process  afforded  material  for  scientific 
study. 

In  November  of  this  year  (1899)  being  in  Chi- 
cago on  business,  I  visited  the  psychic  already  sev- 
eral times  referred  to,  taking  with  me  a  letter  from 
my  nephew,  Mr.  Max  Goethe  Wright,  then  visiting 
me,  to  whom  I  had  confided  some  of  my  unusual 
experiences. 

This  nephew,  a  young  man  of  fine  intellect  and 
generous  nature,  who  on  account  of  tuberculosis  of 
the  lungs  had  been  obliged  to  give  up  his  work  as 
assistant  in  the  Romance  Languages  Department 
of  Leland  Stanford  Jr.  University,  was  steeped  in 
modern  scientific  materialism  and  at  this  time  quite 
bound  by  the  spell  of  Haeckel.  I  knew  that  those 
who  had  already  experienced  the  transition  which 
he  was  rapidly  approaching  were  eager  to  have  him 


92      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING  ' 

know  the  fact  of  continued  existence  before  that 
crisis  should  arrive.* 

He,  therefore,  incredulous  of  any  response,  at  my 
request,  wrote  a  letter  whose  contents  were  quite 
unknown  to  me,  added  some  blank  sheets  of  paper, 
sealed  it  with  unusual  precaution  in  a  way  which  he 
was  sure  would  betray  the  slightest  tampering  and 
gave  it  to  me  to  send  as  I  had  already  sent  similarly 
prepared  letters  of  my  own.  This  letter,  however, 
I  kept  in  my  hand-bag  which  was  retained  on  my 
arm  during  a  conversation  with  my  husband,  whose 
part  in  it  was  maintained  apparently  through  the 
use  of  what  I  have  called  the  telegraphic  code. 

During  this  conversation  there  occurred  two  sin- 
gular incidents. 

Between  one  of  my  oral  questions  and  the  reply 
there  was  heard  a  very  loud,  heavy,  labored  breath- 
ing. This,  startling  to  me,  and  apparently  so  to 
the  psychic,  continued  some  minutes.  Then  came, 
to  my  question  about  it,  the  reply  that  this  fore- 
shadowed the  inevitable  end ;  that  I  should  be  in  the 
room  when  I  should  hear  my  nephew  breathe  thus, 
and  that  I  should  then  know  that  the  end  was  at 
hand,  but  I  should  not  witness  it.** 


*It  is  the  assumption  of  all  my  friends  and  teachers  on 
other  planes  and  the  direct  instruction  of  many  of  them,  that 
knowledge  of  certain  fundamental  facts  prior  to  death  will 
facilitate  one's  progress  as  well  as  enhance  one's  happiness 
after  it. 

**This  singularly  happened.  When  advised  by  his  father 
that  the  young  man's  end  was  near  I  made  with  his  sister  a 
hurried  journey  from  Indianapolis  to  Grand  Rapids,  Mich., 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      93 

Again  there  was  clicked  off  as  .information,  not 
as  a  reply  to  any  question  of  mine:  "You  are  ex- 
pecting that  Max*  will  leave  Indianapolis  before 
you  return,  but  he  will  not." 

The  first  part  of  the  sentence  accorded  with  my 
nephew's  plans  and  I  said,  "Well,  then,  if  he  does 
not  leave  the  city,  he  will  be  at  his  sister's." 

"No !  You  will  find  when  you  reach  home  that  he 
has  left  his  sister's  but  is  still  in  the  city,  although 
neither  at  your  house  nor  hers." 

This  seemed  unlikely  to  me,  for  my  nephew  had 
never  lived  in  Indianapolis;  had  visited  only  in  the 
house  of  his  sister  and  in  my  own,  and  I  regarded 
it  as  improbable  that  he  should  stay  in  the  city  else- 
where. 

In  spite  of  all  past  experiences  I  was  incredulous. 
But  on  my  return  I  found  that  facts  exactly  as  de- 
scribed had  been  induced  by  a  sudden  and  unexpect- 
ed change  in  conditions  which  resulted  in  plans 
thought  of  by  no  one,  when  I  went  to  Chicago. 

When  the  letter  referred  to  above,  which  unknown 
to  me  was  addressed  to  his  mother,  came  back  to 
him  he  reluctantly  admitted  that  he  could  discover 


hoping  for  some  hours  of  conversation  with,  or  of  service  to, 
this  dear  relative.  After  our  arrival  he  was  unable  to  give 
any  but  half  certain  signs  of  consciousness.  My  own  duties 
were  such  that  I  was  obliged  to  return  home  before  the  end 
came — but  I  heard  the  loud  heavy,  labored  breathing,  which 
seemed  the  replica  of  what  I  had  heard  in  that  small  back 
room  in  Chicago.  It  indeed  indicated  that  the  end  which  I 
could  not  stay  to  witness  was  at  hand. 

*This  name  had  never  before  been  mentioned  in  the  psy- 
chic's presence. 


94      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

no  evidence  of  tampering;  that  he  was  sure  it  had 
not  been  opened  since  it  had  left  his  hands;  and 
that  the  blank  pages  which  he  had  enclosed  with  his 
letter  were  covered  by  coherent,  sequential  replies 
to  his  questions. 


CHAPTER  IV 

AT  SPIRITUALISTS'  CAMP.     HUSBAND  ETHEREALIZES. 

MOTHER  TELLS  OF  HER  HOME  IN  OTHER 

WORLD.     REAL  MANSIONS, 

THE  YEAR  1900  was  crowded  with  work  on 
the  External  Plane;  professional  and  domes- 
tic labors  filling  every  hour  of  a  working  day  which, 
beginning  at  seven-thirty  A.  M.,  lasted  until  ten 
p.  M. 

Time  thus  doubly  filled  left  no  margin  for  silence, 
for  concentration,  and  for  that  regular  and  definite 
study  of  science  which  I  longed  for  and  which  in 
spite  of  adverse  conditions  I  resolved  to  pursue. 
This  resolution,  firmly  taken,  coveted  interviews  with 
the  physically  absent  came  with  increasing  fre- 
quency and  at  most  unexpected  times  and  places 
by  hitherto  unheard-of  agencies  and  methods. 

On  January  eighth  the  artist  living  in  Buffalo, 
already  referred  to,  came  to  visit  me,  and  instead  of 
tfie  "few  days"  which  had  been  planned,  she  re- 
mained with  me  three  months. 

Many  interesting  incidents,  two  of  which  seem 
germane  to  the  purpose  of  this  book,  marked  this 
visit;  of  these  the  first  will  carry  the  reader  back 
to  a  reference  in  a  former  chapter,  to  Doctor 

95 


96      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

William  T.  Harris,  then  United  States  Commis- 
sion of  Education. 

To  assist  at  the  celebration  of  Miss  Susan  B. 
Anthony's  eightieth  birthday,  which  fell  on  Febru- 
ary 1 5th,  1900,  I  went  to  Washington.  I  took  with 
me  some  manuscripts  which  my  guest  had  just  writ- 
ten (essays  which  she  believed  to  have  been  dic- 
tated to  her  by  an  ancient  Greek  sage)  to  submit 
to  Doctor  Harris  for  his  opinion  of  their  value.  I 
not  only  revered  Doctor  Harris  for  his  great  knowl- 
edge and  his  acumen  as  a  philosopher,  but  as  a  per- 
sonal friend*  and  as  a  frequent  visitor  in  our  house 
whose  unfailing  kindness  in  directing  my  private 
studies  I  had  enjoyed  for  nearly  a  quarter  of  a  cen- 
tury, I  regarded  him  with  grateful  affection. 

I  asked,  and  immediately  received,  his  attention 
to  the  manuscripts,  without  saying  one  word  about 
their  authorship.  His  verdict  was  that  they  held 
"internal  evidence  of  having  been  produced  by  hyp- 
notic influence." 

After  receiving  this  judgment  I  made  a  full  state- 
ment of  the  process  used  by  the  writer  and  of  her 
belief  concerning  their  source. 

Doctor  Harris  said  he  felt  it  "more  probable  that 
the  writer  was  sensitive  to  impressions  to  a  degree 


*Between  the  years  1876,  when  I  first  met  him,  and  1900, 
Doctor  Harris  had  made  us  a  score  of  visits  and  in  our  own 
and  other  drawing-rooms  had  delivered  under  my  manage- 
ment fourteen  courses  of  lectures  on  philosophy  and  the 
philosophic  interpretation  of  the  arts. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      97 

which  would  enable  her  to  write  these  discussions 
under  a  roof  whose  walls  have  heard  so  much  philo- 
sophical discourse."  I  felt  this  view  quite  as  extra- 
ordinary and  as  incredible  as  the  artist's  and  said 
so.  Doctor  Harris's  reply  was  that  thirty  years  be- 
fore he  had  investigated  what  was  then  called  "spirit- 
ualistic phenomena"  pretty  thoroughly;  had  wit- 
nessed much  that  was  quite  inexplicable,  but  had 
abandoned  it  as  at  that  time  fruitless  of  helpful  re- 
sults. 

The  second  episode  referred  to  enriched  my  life 
by  a  new  friendship. 

About  the  first  of  March,  I  received  a  letter  by 
which  the  writer  introduced  herself  as  a  young  wom- 
an desiring  to  get  a  place  on  the  stage;  she  wrote 
that  she  had  received  a  letter  from  an  actress  long 
since  dead  directing  her  to  ask  me  to  introduce  her 
to  the  public. .  At  first  I  could  not  recall  the  name 
signed  to  this  strange  epistle,  but  finally  remembered 
having  heard  it  in  connection  with  an  actress  of 
Shakespearian  roles  whom  I  had  never  seen. 

In  reply  I  explained  my  inability  to  do  what  she 
wished;  but  there  followed  a  correspondence  which 
resulted  in  my  inviting  Miss  G.  to  make  me  a  week's 
visit.  During  this  visit  she  gave  a  dramatic  recital 
in  my  drawing-room  which  was  witnessed  by  over 
two  hundred  guests  chosen  from  my  friends  as 
those  most  interested  in  the  dramatic  art,  most 
familiar  with  the  theater  and  therefore  best  quali- 


98      NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

fied  to  judge  her  work.  With  no  stage  accessories 
this  remarkable  woman  recited  successively  the  cli- 
maxes of  five  great  dramas,  producing  upon  her 
auditors  an  amazing  effect. 

During  the  week  of  this  great  actress's  visit  no 
reference  was  made  by  either  of  us  to  the  curious 
authority  which  she  had  quoted  in  the  letters  by 
which  she  had  introduced  herself,  but  on  next  to  the 
last  evening  before  her  departure,  asking  if  I  would 
go  with  her  to  the  library,  she  there  told  me  that 
she  had  been  directed  by  her  friends  "to  have  a  sit- 
ting" with  me,  and  referring  to  the  letter  from  the 
deceased  actress*  through  which  she  had  been  di- 
rected to  come  to  me,  she  confessed  it  had  been 
received  through  her  own  hand  and  told  me  of  her 
psychic  development,  which  I  then  saw  manifested 
on  a  truly  great  scale. 

The  only  examples  of  "automatic  writing"  I  had 
hitherto  seen  were  those  given  by  Mr.  Stead  and 
by  Mr.  G.  as  described  in  early  chapters. 

Miss  G.  that  night  wrote  many  pages  which,  as 
they  followed  one  after  another  from  her  tireless 
hand,  were  found  to  bear  the  signatures  of  a  large 
number  of  playwrights  and  actors  covering  the, 
period  since  and  including  Shakespeare's  tinje>'l±ach 
seemed  in  perfect  keeping  with  the  Character  and 
the  period  of  the  writer.  She-also  wrote  for  my 


*  Charlotte  Cushman. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING      99 

» 

husband  a  characteristic  and  significant  letter  which 
included  comments  on  circumstances  that  I  had 
discussed  with  no  one,  and  which  Miss  G.  could  not 
have  known. 

The  atmosphere  seemed  charged  with  a  subtle 
vitality.  I  asked  my  guest  if  she  could  not  recite 
for  me.  A  shiver  passed  through  her  frame  re- 
sembling what  I  had  witnessed  in  Mrs.  W.,  Mr.  J. 
C.  W.,  and  Mrs.  B.,  the  only  persons  I  had  ever 
seen  in  a  trance,  and  instantly  she  arose  and  went 
through  the  Dagger  Scene  from  Macbeth  with  a 
power  and  finish  which  I  have  never  seen  surpassed 
although  I  have  seen  it  rendered  many  times  by  the 
world's  most  famous  actors,  including  Edwin  Booth, 
Sir  Henry  Irving  and  Salvini. 

Miss  G.  told  me  that,  according  to  her  conviction, 
she  acts  always  under  the  direct  inspiration  of  some 
great  actor  already  on  the  next  plane;  that  having 
begun  as  a  child  to  commit  to  memory  Shake- 
spearian tragedies  all  of  the  instruction  in  regard  to 
gesture,  literary  interpretation  and  the  use  of  the 
instrument  her  voice  which  she  has  ever  known 
has  come  to  her  from  the  same  source. 

During  the  years  that  have  passed  since  I  wrote 
an  account  of  this  episode  in  my  note-book,  the  ac- 
quaintance thus  curiously  begun  has  ripened  into  a 
warm  friendship;  my  appreciation  of  the  mental 
powers,  moral  qualities  and  self-sacrificing  life  of 
Miss  G.  has  continuously  increased.  Of  a  dis- 


tinctly  different  type  from  most  of  the  other  psychics 
I  have  known,  belonging  by  birth,  breeding  and 
education  to  the  best  social  circles,  and  by  endow- 
ment and  aspiration  to  that  still  more  exclusive  class 
whose  members  serve  the  world  by  simply  living  in 
it,  I  regard  her  close  friendship  as  one  of  the  choic- 
est (gifts  that  these  years  of  investigation  have 
brought  me. 

From  this  time  opportunities  for  studying  psychic 
phenomena,  scientifically,  i.  e.,  for  observing  it  un- 
der a  great  variety  of  conditions,  times  and  places, 
always  (except  at  long  intervals,  by  arrangement 
with  one  or  another  of  the  instruments  already  men- 
tioned whose  methods  have  been  fully  described) 
through  new  agencies  quite  unknown  to  me,  with 
whom  the  connection  seemed  to  be  fortuitously 
established,  increased.  Sometimes  opportunities 
came  in  distant  cities  in  my  own  and  other  coun- 
tries ;  sometimes  in  my  own  house  and  sometimes  on 
railroad  trains;  sometimes  by  strangers  bringing 
letters  of  introduction  from  other  strangers  who  had 
"felt  moved"  to  write  them.  These  were  apparently 
all  provided  through  the  tireless  efforts  of  my  hus- 
band to  induct  me  into  this  new  science,  a  knowledge 
of  which  I  had  by  this  time  concluded  must  in- 
evitably expand  and  ennoble  human  life. 

To  illustrate  some  new  methods,  and  to  show  the 
growth  of  power  and  the  continuity  of  purpose  in 
my  friends  on  the  next  plane,  as  revealed  by  medi- 
ums and  methods  already  described,  I  submit  from 


hundreds  a  few  typical  incidents.  It  will  be  recalled 
that  my  husband  had  urged  me  to  prepare  to  spend 
the  summer  of  1900  in  Paris. 

Receiving  a  commission  from  President  McKin- 
ley  to  represent  the  organized  work  of  American 
women  at  a  series  of  congresses  to  be  held  in  the 
French  capital,  coincident  with  and  under  the 
auspices  of  L' Exposition  Universelle  of  1900,  I 
spent  five  months  of  that  year  abroad,  most  of  it  in 
Paris,  and  in  the  main  occupied  with  work  calcu- 
lated to  extend  the  influence  of  The  International 
Council  of  Women. 

As  one  means  of  extending  "the  Council  idea" 
I  continued  to  observe  my  Wednesday  "at  homes" 
as  had  for  many  years  been  my  custom  wherever  I 
might  be. 

One  Wednesday  afternoon,  my  rooms  at  63  Rue 
Galilee  Champs  Elysees  being  quite  full  of  visitors, 
a  stranger  entered  so  unobstrusively  that  I  did  not 
at  once  observe  her.  When  I  did,  I  felt  drawn  by 
a  peculiar  glance,  at  once  eager  and  cautious,  and 
as  I  approached,  greeting  her  in  French,  she  replied 
in  English,  explaining  in  a  low  tone  that  she  used 
it  that  she  might  not  be  understood  by  surrounding 
guests.  She  said  that  she  had  come  to  see  me  by 
command  and  for  a  very  particular  reason,  but 
that  she  was  in  no  hurry,  and  with  my  permission 
would  stay  until  after  all  other  guests  should  have 
gone. 

She  did  so  and  when  we  were  alone  explained 


[102    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

tfiat  she  had  come,  having  been  impressed  with  the 
necessity  of  my  "receiving  an  important  communica- 
tion from  the  other  life  plane."  In  spite  of  former 
experiences,  to  be  thus  addressed  by  a  total  stranger 
was  startling;  she  gave  me  cards  and  official  letters 
which  identified  her  as  the  widow  of  a  gentleman 
who  had  represented  France  in  a  high  diplomatic 
position  in  the  Orient.  She  told  me  that  it  was 
through  the  death  of  her  husband  in  this  service 
that  she  had  herself  been  taught  the  truth  of  con- 
tinuous existence  and  continuing  relationship,  as  I 
through  the  death  of  my  husband  had  been  taught 
the  same  blessed  facts. 

She  explained  that  she  had  obtained  this  knowl- 
edge through  Madame "the  medium  who  had 

served  Lady  Caithness  and  Madame  de  Morsier 
when  the  latter  was  editing  for  Lady  Caithness  the 
Revue  Psychologique,"  and  that  she  had  now  been 
instructed  by  Madame  de  Morsier  to  introduce  her 
medium  to  me,  that  through  her  I  might  meet  the 
friends  who  were  endeavoring  to  send  me  an  im- 
portant message.  This  seemed  very  curious,  but  I 
knew  from  former  experience  that  it  was  not  impos- 
sible. The  lady's  dress,  manner  and  speech  bore 
the  stamp  of  refined  culture,  and  her  countenance 
and  free,  frank,  sincere  look  confirmed  all  other 
indications  of  her  veracity  and  reen forced  the  docu- 
ments which  she  showed  me.  She  was  not  at  all 
acquainted  with  the  Council  or  interested  in  any 
part  of  the  feminist  movement,  and  had  not  her- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     103 

self  known  Madame  de  Morsier  "until  after  her 
death."  I  had  become  acquainted  with  Madame  de 
Morsier  in  1889  when  I  was  a  delegate  from  the  Na- 
tional Council  of  U.  S.  A.  to  the  Congress  Universel 
des  Femmes  convened  that  year  in  Paris,  over  which 
she  ably  presided.  I  had  known  that  Madame  de 
Morsier  was  the  editor  of  the  Revue  Psychologique, 
but  had  never  seen  a  copy  of  it  and  had  not  known 
its  character.  Madame  de  Morsier  I  had  believed 
to  be  possessed  not  only  of  very  remarkable  intel- 
lectual powers,  but  of  an  exalted  character.  Of 
none  of  the  other  persons  named  had  I  ever  heard, 
collusion  seemed  improbable,  and  the  opportunity 
not  to  be  refused. 

Accordingly,  by  appointment,  on  the  following1 
Friday  afternoon  the  French  medium  came.  She 
spoke  no  English  and  seemed  a  sweet,  simple,  ordi- 
nary person;  when  asked  what  conditions  she  re- 
quired, she  said,  "Nothing  but  a  small  table  between 
us,  and  silence." 

We  therefore  seated  ourselves  on  opposite  sides 
of  a  little  table  in  my  room;  she  took  from  her 
pocket  a  bit  of  linen  on  which  the  alphabet  was 
wrought;  it  much  resembled  the  old-fashioned 
sampler  worked  by  little  girls  of  my  grandmother's 
generation.  Spreading  this  on  the  table,  she  direct- 
ed me  to  ask  whatever  questions  I  wished,  first  dis- 
tinctly calling  the  person  from  whom  I  wished  the 
reply.  When  I  perceived  that  she  expected  the 
answers  to  be  spelled  out  from  the  sampler  I  ob- 


104    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

jected  that  this  would  be  a  very  tedious  process; 
she  asserted  that  she  knew  no  other.  I  repeated 
my  objections  and  the  table  immediately  became  agi- 
tated, whereupon  I  exclaimed  to  her:  "Voilal  Mon 
nari  est  impatient;  il  ri  est-pas  accountume'  a  cela." 

At  that  the  table  rose  from  the  floor  and  pressed 
heavily,  almost  violently  against  my  chest.  The  lit- 
tle woman  seemed  as  astonished  as  I  truly  was,  and 
when  the  table  resumed  its  place  on  the  floor  between 
us,  she  assured  me  that  she  had  never  before  wit- 
nessed such  a  manifestation,  but  that  all  her  work 
for  Madame  de  Horsier  which  had  continued 
through  years,  at  regular  and  frequent  intervals,  had 
been  done  by  the  aid  of  the  sampler;  that  she  had 
never  spoken  as  an  agent  of  those  whom  she  served 
"on  the  other  side"  and  that  she  was  very  sure  she 
could  not.  Instantly  through  her  own  lips,  but  in  a 
strong  strange  voice,  came  the  words,  "Vous  le 
pouvez  et  vous  le  ferrez  et  par  cet  effort  vous  ex- 
perimenterez  un  grand  pr ogres." 

There  followed  a  long  conversation  between  my 
husband  and  myself,  in  the  first  part  of  which 
French  only  was  used  by  us  both;  in  the  second 
part  I  spoke  English  and  my  husband  French 
through  this  agent  who  knew  no  language  but 
French.  My  husband  explained  that  this  was  a 
"test"  to  give  me  confidence.  My  husband  also  told 
me  the  difficulties  he  had  encountered  in  finding 
some  means  of  reaching  me;  he  said  that  at  last 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    105 

this  help  had  come  through  Madame  de  Morsier 
whom  he  was  in  the  way  of  seeing  occasionally  and 
who  had  made  these  arrangements,  "circuitous 
and  awkward  surely,  but  effective." 

My  husband  told  me  that  the  reason  for  his  maki 
ing  such  extraordinary  efforts  to  reach  me  was  that 
he  had  only  recently  and  very  suddenly  seen  an  im- 
pending difficulty  which  he  said  "has  forced  me  to 
come  to  urge  you  to  be  watchful  and  prudent."  He 
seemed  very  anxious  and  repeatedly  exhorted  me 
to  prudence  and  discretion.  I  promised  increased 
care  supposing  that  he  meant  prudence  in  regard  to 
any  exposure  of  my  interest  in  or  knowledge  of 
what  in  my  own  mind  was  assuming  definiteness 
as  "The  New  Psychology."  This  interview  of  more 
than  an  hour's  duration  was  unsatisfactory,  but  very 
interesting,  because  of  the  novel  circumstances  and 
conditions  that  had  attended  it. 

The  following  week  I  received  a  letter  from  Mrs. 
H.,  which  she  said  was  written  "in  compliance  with 
Mr.  Sewall's  recent  entreaty  that  she  should  warn 
me  of  an  approaching  difficulty,  and  urge  me  to  be 
prudent  and  discreet."  To  my  husband's  message 
she  added  her  own  interpretation,  which  was  the 
same  that  I  had  given  to  it  on  receiving  it  through 
the  French  transmitter.  Only  a  few  days  later  the 
"approaching  difficulty"  arrived  and  would  have 
been  disastrous  but  for  this  warning,  which  enabled 
me  at  once  to  understand  and  overcome  it. 


106    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

I  arrived  at  my  home  in  Indianapolis  on  Septem- 
ber fourteenth  and  the  following  week  my  friend 
Miss  G.  paid  me  a  visit. 

One  evening  as  we  sat  in  the  library  in  ordinary 
conversation,  with  the  expectation  that  later  her 
gift  of  automatic  writing  might  be  used  in  my  serv- 
ice, I  told  her  of  the  scenes  I  had  witnessed  at  Ober- 
ammergau  in  August,  and  showed  her  some  photo- 
graphs of  the  chief  actors.  Holding  out  to  her  a 
photograph  of  Judas  I  asked  her  to  look  at  it  and 
compare  it  with  another  face  that  we  had  been 
analyzing.  Reaching  out  her  hand  she  said,  "Where 
is  it?" 

I  replied,  "Why  you  took  it  from  my  hand." 

"No,  I  took  nothing ;  I  extended  my  hand  to  take 
it,  but  although  I  saw  the  photograph  in  your  hand 
there  was  nothing  for  me  to  take." 

This  seemed  incredible  to  us,  for  it  was  for  both 
the  first  experience  of  "iristantaneousdisintegration."* 

We  were  alone  in  the  room  of  which  neither  door 
nor  window  was  open.  I  had  held  the  photograph 
studying  and  discussing  it  before  and  while  I  passed 
it  to  my  friend,  who,  seeing  it  in  my  hands,  found 
nothing  there  when  her  hand  reached  mine!  We 
looked  everywhere,  removing  every  paper  from  the 


*The  name  of  this  phenomenon  was  not  given  to  me  until 
two  years  later  when  I  became  familiar  with  it,  and  I  had 
never  heard  of  anything  resembling  this  incident  except  in  the 
sleight-of-hand  performances  of  traveling  wonder-workers 
like  Hermann  and  Keller,  with  whose  clever  tricks  I  had 
never  associated  psychic  science  nor  had  I  ever  heard  this 
association  hinted  at. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     107 

» 

desk  by  which  we  sat,  going  over  and  over  again 
the  basket  holding  my  summer's  harvest  of  photo- 
graphs. It  was  nowhere  to  be  found.  When  very 
late,  the  automatic  writing  began,  my  husband's 
first  sentence  was,  "It  is  useless  for  you  to  look  for 
the  photograph  of  Judas; —  took  it." 

In  amazement,  I  cried,  " !  How  can  that  be? 

What  does  he  want  with  it?" 

My  husband  replied,  "It  was  a  singular  thing  for 

to  do;  but  he  wished  to  show  it  to  Judas;  he 

has  done  so  and  Judas  is  not  at  all  pleased  with  it." 

In  reply  to  further  expression  of  incredulity,  pro- 
tests and  questions,  my  husband  said,  " prom- 
ises to  return  the  photograph  when  you  least  ex- 
pect it." 

In  May,  1901,  while  in  New  York  attending  a 
conference  of  the  officers  of  the  National  Council 
of  Women,  I  spent  an  evening  with  my  friend  Miss 
G.  who  produced  automatically  a  dictation  from  my 
husband  for  me.  On  this  occasion  I  had  made  no 
reference  to  the  incident  narrated  above,  but  my 

husband  wrote:  " has  been  prevented  from 

returning  the  photograph  of  Judas  by  the  fact  that 
the  latter  feels  deeply  offended  by  its  production 
and  is  unwilling  that  a  photograph  which  he  regards 
as  a  caricature,  shall  be  restored  and  preserved." 

During  the  summer  of  1901  I  spent  much  time 
in  Buffalo,  where  under  the  auspices  of  the  Pan- 
American  Exposition  and  through  the  hospitality 
of  its  Board  of  Lady  Managers,  the  International 


Council  of  Women  maintained  a  headquarters  of 
which  I  had  charge. 

On  the  morning  of  August  ninth  I  went  from 
Buffalo  to  the  camp  where  four  years  previous  the 
revelations  concerning  the  triumph  of  life  over  death 
had  been  received.  My  first  interview  was  through 
the  aluminum  trumpet. 

When  I  entered  the  room,  already  fully  described 
on  page  nine,  I  observed  one  change  in  its  furnish- 
ings. A  curtain  hung  across  one  corner  and  drop- 
ping to  the  floor  formed  what  might  be  called  a  dark 
closet.  I  examined  this  and  asked  an  explanation; 
Mrs.  W.  told  me  that  "Now  people  sometimes  eth- 
erealize,  and  if  one  wishes  to  do  so  this  little  retreat 
is  a  help."  By  the  trumpet  in  a  vase  on  the  floor 
were  some  sweet-peas. 

As  usual  we  sat  in  chairs  opposite  each  other, 
the  trumpet  between  us,  but  now  placed  nearer 
me.  When  Mrs.  W.'s  control  came  and  I  asked  an 
explanation  of  this  slight  change  in  the  position  of 
the  trumpet,  he  said  that  as  my  powers  were  now 
increased,  I  could  furnish  more  of  the  strength 
required  by  returning  friends  than  formerly  and 
therefore  Mrs.  W.'s  forces  were  less  drawn  on.  In 
the  conversation  that  followed  were  some  very  sig- 
nificant utterances  by  my  husband.  For  example 
he  called  my  attention  to  the  sweet-peas,  saying:* 


*It  was  true  that  on  the  preceding  Sunday  I  had  gone  to 
Crown  Hill  and  had  dressed  the  mound  beneath  which  my 
husband's  coat  of  clay  had  been  buried,  with  sweet-peas,  but  I 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     109 

"Mrs.  W.  does  not  know  it,  but  we  moved  her  to 
place  them  there  to  show  my  appreciation  of  those 
you  gave  me  Sunday." 

My  husband  told  me  that  he  was  in  the  Fifth 
Sphere  of  the  Etheric  Plane ;  that  he  remained  there 
by  his  own  desire  as  it  enabled  him  to  be  in  easier 
communication  with  me.  When  I  again  expressed 
regret  that  his  advancement  should  be  retarded  by 
me,  he  assured  me  that  his  development  came  by  this 
service.  At  this  time  I  confessed  my  deep  disap- 
pointment that  I  had  myself  acquired  no  use  of  my 
subtle  power  and  was  still  as  dependent  as  ever  on 
intermediaries.  I  said  it  seemed  to  me  certain  that 
whatever  powers  they  possessed  must  be  possessed 
in  undeveloped  embryo  by  every  one,  and  that  if 
such  powers  were  a  part  of  the  universal  human 
equipment  they  must,  like  other  powers,  be  suscep- 
tible of  cultivation,  and  I  complained  that  notwith- 
standing my  continuous  efforts  I  got  no  results.  He 
replied  that  in  this  rather  more  than  in  other  forms 
of  growth  it  is  "impossible  to  serve  two  masters"; 
but  assured  me  that  I  was  growing  interiorly  as 
fast  as  was  possible  while  occupied  by  so  many  ex- 
ternal interests.  He  also  said  that,  slow  growth  of 
the  powers  I  desired  to  develop  was  the  best  and  he 
counseled  me  to  patience,  to  steadfastness,  to  con- 
tinuous effort,  to  concentration  and  secrecy,  and  to 
persistence  in  the  study  of  science. 


had  told  no  one  and  at  this  time  no  reference  had  been 
made  to  it. 


In  the  midst  of  this  appeal  my  husband  suddenly 
ceased  to  speak;  presently  a  light  appeared  between 
the  two  parts  of  the  curtain  before  described;  the 
light  gradually  assumed  the  form  of  a  human  head 
and  instantly  after  the  head  was  fully  formed  ap- 
peared my  husband's  face — every  feature  perfect 
to  the  life,  but  transcendently  refined  and  beautiful. 
He  bowed  several  times  and  saluting  me  with  a 
peculiar  gesture  used  by  him  in  his  life,  suddenly 
vanished.  Instantly  he  again  apparently  became  a 
voice,  for  the  conversation  was  resumed  at  the 
point  where  it  had  been  interrupted,  and  when  his 
appeal  that  I  should  "continue  to  study  this  science" 
was  ended  he  expressed  pleasure  in  my  satisfaction 
at  his  "appearing  to  me."  He  told  me  that  he  had 
"etherealized"  and  not  "materialized,"*  but  he  com- 
plained of  exhaustion  and,  his  voice  growing  weak, 
I  begged  him  to  draw  on  my  strength.  He  de- 
clined, saying  I  should  need  it  all  for  what  was  be- 
fore me.  He  added,  "While  the  others  are  speak- 
ing I  will  retire  and  accumulate  the  force  necessary 
to  resume  the  interview." 

From  long  and  interesting  conversations  held 
that  day  with  numerous  friends,  I  quote  a  few  pass- 
ages which  in  the  light  of  preceding  incidents  and 
of  subsequent  observations  seem  most  significant. 

My  mother  said,  "I  am  now  with  father  in  the 


*He  has  frequently  explained  that  while  these  are  the  tech- 
nical terms,  the  latter  should  be  physicalized  since  ether  also 
is  matter. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    ffir 

Sixth  Sphere,"  and  when  I  asked,  "What  is  the 
Sixth  Sphere?"  she  answered,  "It  is  next  to  the 
Celestial  Plane  and  your  father  and  I  could  both 
now  be  on  that  plane  did  we  choose." 

I  asked,  "Why  do  you  not  go  to  the  Celestial 
Plane,  if  it  is  higher  and  is  accessible  to  you?" 

"It  would  be  more  difficult  to  reach  you  and  the 
Doctor,  so  we  have  decided  to  stay  here  until  you 
come  over  and  we  can  all  go  to  the  Celestial  Plane 
together." 

"Is  Theodore  with  you  in  the  Sixth  Sphere?" 

"Oh,  no, — Theodore  could  have  been  in  the  Ce- 
lestial Plane  long  ago,  had  he  wished.  He  was 
ready  for  the  Celestial  long  before  your  father  and 
I  were,  but  he  chooses  to  be  in  the  Fifth  Sphere  of 
the  Etheric  because  he  wishes  to  be  with  you  all 
the  time." 

"Mother,  what  is  the  Fifth  Sphere?" 

"Why,  the  Fifth  Sphere  on  the  Etheric  Plane  is 
the  sphere  of  human  service  and  Theodore  will 
never  leave  it  until  you  come  over." 

"Mother,  is with  you  now,  or  are  you  with 

him?  You  remember  that  at  the  time  of  our  last 
interview  you  were  with  him  trying  to  help  him." 

"I'm  with  him  no  longer.  I've  come  home  to  your 
father  again.  We  have  discharged  our  whole  duty 

to .  He  has  seen  the  light  and  now  his  progress 

depends  on  himself.  He  is  in  the  Third  Sphere  and 
is  doing  very  well." 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 


"I  wish,  mother,  you  would  tell  me  more  about 
the  Third  Sphere." 

"I  can  not  explain  it  very  well;  but  as  nearly  as 
I  can  express  it  in  your  language,  it  is  the  sphere 
where  one  sees  the  light  and  where  one's  inde- 
pendent growth  begins." 

Later,  my  mother  having  several  times  referred 
to  her  "home"  in  the  Sixth  Sphere,  I  asked  several 
questions  about  it,  and  at  last  she  said,  "I  can't 
explain  it  very  well  to  you  because  of  having  no 
language  and  because  you  are  not  yet  prepared  to 
understand  it  —  but,  it  is  simply  true,  that  'In  our 
Father's  house  are  many  mansions'  and  every  one 
of  us  can  have  one." 

The  longest  interview  I  had  with  my  sister 
Theresa  prior  to  1902  was  on  this  day,  and  in  reply 
to  questions  induced  by  her  remarks  she  said, 
"When  I  first  came  over  here  my  own  mother  and 
my  grandmother  (not  her  mother  but  our  father's 
mother)  met  me  and  cared  for  me,  and  since  I 
learned  my  mission  as  a  guide  I  am  pretty  busy 
meeting  poor  people  who  come  over  having  no  spe- 
cial friends  of  their  own  ready  to  care  for  them." 

My  husband's  grandfather  concluded  his  talk  by 
congratulating  me  on  "the  advantages  in  growth 
you  will  enjoy  on  the  next  planes  by  having  become 
scientifically  acquainted  with  these  truths  on  the 
Earth  Plane." 

Little  A'nnie  Brackett  came  with  laughter  and 
kisses  bringing  with  her  the  very  atmosphere  of 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     113 

gay  girlhood.  In  the  midst  of  her  gleeful  narrative 
she  became  silent  and  soon  the  curtain  before  re- 
ferred to  parted ;  a  nucleus  of  light  appeared  which 
seemed  to  gather  to  itself  more  light  and  presently 
it  assumed  the  form  of  a  young  girl  with  fair  hair, 
blue  eyes  and  a  countenance  of  hardly  less  than 
supernatural  brightness.'  Except  that  again  and 
again  during  the  manifestation  a  little  white  hand 
threw  me  kisses,  only  head  and  shoulders  appeared. 

I  cried  out,  "Oh,  Annie,  I  want  to  hold  you,  at 
least  to  touch  you." 

The  light  vanished  and  the  voice  returned  pre- 
luded by  gay  laughter,  "I  haven't  anything  to  touch, 
Auntie  May,  but  I  want  to  give  you  my  portrait  like 
the  one  you  have  of  Uncle  Theodore." 

At  the  end  of  a  long  conversation  with  my  father 
whose  part  in  it  was  sustained,  significant  and  char- 
acteristic, but  too  personal  and  involving  too  many 
people  (some  of  whom  I  do  not  yet  know)  to  be 
reproduced,  he  said :  "When  I  first  came  over  here, 
and  when  mother,  who,  like  myself,  had  had  many 
cares  in  earth  life,  came,  we  were  obliged  to  take  a 
long  rest ;  but  now  we  are  working  hard  to  progress 
all  we  can  this  side  of  the  Celestial  Plane,  to  which 
we've  decided  not  to  go  to  stay  until  you  come 
over." 

I  observed  that  while  the  conversations  were 
longer  than  ever  before  enjoyed  at  a  single  sitting, 
all  the  voices  were  weaker,  and  I  also  felt  the  cause 
of  this  weakness.  I  therefore  said,  "Commtmly 


ii4    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

when  we  use  the  trumpet  I  feel  as  if  you  were  draw- 
ing strength  from  me  when  you  speak,  but  to-day 
I  do  not  have  this  sensation  at  all,"  and  I  added,  "I 
wish  you  would  use  my  strength  to  talk  longer, 
clearer  and  louder." 

It  was  little  Annie  who  replied,  "You  are  right, 
Auntie  May,  we  did  formerly  use  your  strength 
when  we  talked,  but  Uncle  Theodore  will  not  let  us 
draw  on  it  one  bit." 

"But  I  want  you  to  draw  on  it,  Annie.  I  do  not 
see  what  harm  it  can  do,  and  the  talks  give  me  so 
much  pleasure." 

"But,  Auntie  May,  Uncle  Theodore  will  not  allow 
it.  He  says  you  need  all  of  your  strength  for  your 
own  work,  and  Uncle  Theodore  knows  best." 

That  day  many  friends  came  unsummoned,  some 
of  them  unknown.  Among  these  was  a  great-uncle 
of  distinction  in  his  profession,  Doctor  Calvin  Mon- 
tague, who  had  passed  from  this  life  nearly  eighty 
years  before,  who  made  an  important  statement 
about  his  branch  of  the  family,  unknown  to  me  but 
confirmed  by  reference  to  the  Montague  genealogy. 
Miss  Frances  E.  Willard  also  made  some  very  char- 
acteristic comments  on  my  recent  public  work  and 
in  referring  to  an  incident  connected  with  it  used 
the  name  of  a  person  who  so  far  as  I  then  knew 
had  no  relation  to  it.  I  protested,  but  afterward  dis- 
covered that  Miss  Willard  had  been  quite  right. 
Several  other  friends  similarly  made  statements  of 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    115 

facts  quite  unknown  to  me,  which  were  sustained 
by  subsequent  investigation. 

When,  after  other  interviews  were  finished,  my 
husband  came  for  his  final  talk  with  me,  he  was 
full  of  solicitude. 

He  told  me  that  to  develop  my  powers  in  all  the 
ways  I  desired  and  to  work  on  two  planes  at  once 
as  I  wished  was  impossible.  He  assured  me*  that  my 
guides  and  teachers  on  the  Etheric  and  Celestial 
Planes  were  helping  me  all  they  could,  but  that  even 
they  could  not  secure  the  simultaneous  development 
of  different  subtle  faculties,  while  I  was  so  occu- 
pied by  material  or  external  interests. 

My  husband  also  urged  me  to  guard  my  health; 
he  expressed  great  anxiety  lest  I  was  not  properly 
nourished;  he  said  he  observed  an  abatement  of  vi- 
tality and  that  for  this  reason  he  had  forbidden  the 
use  of  my  strength  in  the  interviews.  I  was  aston- 
ished at  this  and  assured  him  of  my  perfect  physi- 
cal soundness,  but  events  showed  his  superior 
knowledge. 

When  the  control  came  to  bring  my  interview  to 
a  close  or,  to  use  the  phrase  which  seems  best  to 
express  what  appeared  to  be  his  function  as  chair- 
man of  the  conference  "to  adjourn  the  meeting,"  he 
urged  me  to  see  a  psychic  then  on  the  camp  grounds 
of  whom  I  had  never  heard,  and  also  to  have  an  in- 
terview with  one  whose  "trance  readings"  have 
been  earlier  described.  He  assured  me  that  it  was 


u6    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

by  my  husband's  desire  that  he  made  these  sugges- 
tions, which  I  therefore  followed. 

Mr.  N.,  the  psychic  until  then  unknown,  warned 
me  to  care  for  my  health ;  said  that  I  was  quite  un- 
conscious of  the  strain  that  I  had  been  under  for 
the  past  two  years,  that  my  vitality  had  been  greatly 
overdrawn  and  that  I  did  not  feel  this  was  due  to 
the  unremitting  efforts  of  my  friends  on  the  Etheric 
Plane  to  renew  my  forces  by  generating  magnetism 
for  me. 

To  the  perceptions,  inferences  and  conclusions  in- 
duced by  previous  experiences,  I  now  added  the  fol- 
lowing propositions: 

First:  Coming  events  on  this  plane  of  life  cast 
their  advance  shadows  on  the  Etheric  Plane. 

Second:  An  influence  similar  to  what  we  know 
as  mesmeric  or  hypnotic  can  be  exerted  by  some  of 
the  residents  on  other  planes  of  life  upon  those  liv- 
ing here. 

Third :  The  force  best  described  in  our  language 
by  the  word  vitality  may  be  drawn  upon  by  humans 
in  the  Etheric  to  enable  them  to  gravitate  toward  the 
Earth  Plane. 

Fourth :  The  corresponding  force,  serving  the  in- 
habitants of  advanced  planes  as  vitality  serves  those 
of  the  physical  plane,  may  be  drawn  on  by  us  to 
aid  our  levitation  toward  them. 

Fifth:  The  life  on  the  advanced  planes  is  pro- 
gressive and  very  regularly  ordered.  The  organiza- 
tion of  society  there  is  systematic  and  definite,  and 


yet  an  individual's  capacities  and  volition  determine! 
his  plane  and  even  his  sphere  within  the  plane  of  his 
free  choice. 

Sixth :  The  law  of  growth  there  continues  to  in- 
volve the  principle  of  sacrifice  and  the  motive  of 
service  which  are  known  to  be  indispensable  to  char- 
acter growth  here. 

Seventh:  It  is  evident  that  as  the  human  body 
has  retained,  in  a  rudimentary  form,  organs  which, 
in  its  present  stage  of  evolution  and  under  present 
conditions  have  been  useless,  so  the  human  mind 
contains  in  embryo  and  in  partial  development  facul- 
ties and  powers  destined  by  changing  conditions  to 
become  developed  and  active. 

Eighth:  The  process  of  developing  the  subtle 
abilities  is  slow  and  difficult,  exacting  sustained  ef- 
fort. This  process  is  retarded  by  a  division  of  in- 
terests and  doubtless  may  be  interrupted  by  remis- 
sion of  effort. 


CHAPTER  V 

ATTACKED     BY     DISEASE     PRONOUNCED     INCURABLE. 

REFUSES  MEDICAL  AID.      RUBINSTEIN  AND  PERE 

CONDE  INTRODUCED  BY   HUSBAND 

IN  NOVEMBER  (1901)  I  was  surprised  by  a 
sudden  severe  attack  of  what,  from  descriptions 
I  had  heard  given  by  sufferers,  I  diagnosed  as  lum- 
bago. 

I  was  reluctant  to  call  a  physician.  All  the  small 
faith  I  had  ever  possessed  in  materia  medica  I  had 
lost,  and,  although  very  sympathetic  with  Christian 
Science,  I  am  not  a  follower  of  that  cult  I  had 
thought  that  a  discreet  mode  of  life,  including  use- 
ful work  and  the  maintenance  of  a  serene  spirit, 
ought  to  secure  health,  but  I  began  to  realize  that 
there  is  a  limit  to  the  application  of  this  rule. 

A  friend  told  me  of  a  physician  of  a  new  school, 
a  "magnetist"  who  gave  no  medicines.  To  this 
physician  I  applied;  his  treatment  was  immediately 
effective,  but  the  relief  was  not  permanent,  and  with 
each  recurrence  of  the  malady  I  was  compelled  to 
resort  to  his  aid. 

The  winter  of  1901-2  was  marked  by  heavy  work 
and  increased  care.  My  two  great  central  interests 
were  the  Girls'  Classical  School  and  the  Interna- 
tional Council  of  Women.  In  these  I  was  so  ab- 

118 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     119 

sorbed  that,  except  when  suffering1  pain,  I  did 
not  think  of  my  health,  which  had  always  been  per- 
fect, but  with  spring  there  came  a  sudden  knowledge 
of  financial  loss  and  a  no  less  sudden  consciousness 
of  abated  vigor. 

This  glimpse  into  my  life  during  the  winter  of 
1901-2  will  prevent  my  readers  from  experiencing1 
surprise  that  the  complete  absorption  of  my  time 
and  strength  in  externals  had  prevented  the  con- 
tinuance of  the  daily  periods  of  concentration  and 
introspection  which  require  both  regularity  and 
calm.  I  had  therefore  abandoned  them  and  in  so 
doing  unconsciously  had  closed  many  of  the  ave- 
nues through  which  previously  unrecognized  help 
had  been  coming  to  me. 

I  was  in  a  sad  state,  and  the  evidence  of  my  fail- 
ing health  drew  that  solicitous  attention  of  friends 
which  I  was  most  anxious  to  avoid. 

One  Sunday  in  March  I  was  surprised  by  a  visit 
from  Doctor  R.  R.  G.,  a  homeopathist  whom  I  much 
esteemed,  who  explained  that  in  violation  of  pro- 
fessional etiquette  and  of  her  established  habit,  she 
had  come  unsummoned,  compelled  to  do  so  by  her 
affectionate  interest  in  me;  she  said  that  she  and 
many  of  my  friends  were  greatly  shocked  by  my 
changed  aspect  which  clearly  indicated  serious  ill- 
ness; she  told  me  that  I  had  every  appearance  of  a 
victim  of  Bright's  Disease,  but  that,  without  a  thor- 
ough examination,  which  would  include  the  chemical 
analysis  of  many  samples  of  different  excretions, 


120    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

reliable  diagnosis  could  not  be  made.  Doctor  G. 
assured  me  that  through  her  agency,  this  examina- 
tion could  be  made  without  the  knowledge  of  any 
one  else.  Deeply  appreciating  her  kindness  I  con- 
sented to  an  inspection  which,  including  the  chemical 
tests,  covered  several  weeks;  when  over,  I  was  in- 
formed that  the  disease,  which  was  incurable,  had 
already  reached  an  advanced  stage.  I  was  urged  to 
discontinue,  or  at  least  diminish,  my  work ;  to  place 
myself  under  medical  treatment ;  to  comply  with  the 
regimen  and  to  take  the  remedies,  which  admittedly 
could  not  cure  the  disease,  but  which,  I  was  told, 
"could  abate  its  pace,  diminish  discomfort  and  pro- 
long life." 

I  did  not  wish  my  life  prolonged  unless  I  could 
have  perfect  health ;  nothing  appeared  to  me  so  un- 
reasonable as  to  consult  further  or  obey  any  physi- 
cian when  my  malady  was  at  the  outset  pronounced 
incurable  by  the  whole  profession.  To  do  so  could 
only  add  to  the  financial  anxiety  which  to  me  seemed 
one  of  the  causes  of  my  condition,  and  I  therefore 
repelled  the  further  attention  of  this  kind  physi- 
cian and  refused  to  consult  any  other.* 


*I  did,  however,  later  consult  my  brother,  Doctor  F.  B. 
Wright,  a  physician  of  long  experience  and  of  widely  reputed 
exceptional  knowledge,  skill  and  success.  To  him  I  made1  a 
complete  and  painstakingly  accurate  statement  of  the  revealed 
conditions,  (attributing  them  to  an  imaginary  friend,)  and 
was  assured  by  him,  that  granting  that  the  chemical  test  had 
been  carefully  made  and  the  results  correctly  reported,  the 
history  of  Therapeutics  held  no  record  of  cure;  that  this 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    121 

I  however  declared  my  conviction  that  in  the  na- 
ture of  things  there  can  be  no  incurable  disease, 
though  there  may  be  many  diseases  for  which  the 
cure  has  not  been  found  by  any  physician  up  to 
date. 

Before  the  tests  were  finished,  the  diagnosis  made 
and  my  decision  given,  June  had  come  and  with  it 
the  pressure  of  the  commencement  season  always 
requiring  much  social  activity,  and  this  year  be- 
cause of  circumstances  already  referred  to,  charged 
with  uncommon  cares  and  with  unprecedented,  grave 
responsibilities.  The  annual  session  of  the  Execu- 
tive of  the  International  Council  was 'to  convene  in 
Copenhagen,  and  although  I  had  confidently  looked 
forward  to  attending  it,  my  business  obligations  ren- 
dering this  unwise,  it  was  necessary  for  me  to  send 
out  a  circular  to  Council  workers  and  to  prepare  in 
much  haste  a  memorandum  to  submit  to  the  meet- 
ing. 

My  program  shows  that,  assailed  by  a  disease 
nominally  incurable,  the  daily  average  of  hours  de- 
voted to  actual  work  during  this  hard  season  had 
been  sixteen,  and  now,  at  its  end  instead  of  the  an- 
ticipated invigorating  sea  voyage  and  the  stimulating 
association  of  my  comrades  in  the  Council,  I  was 
facing  a  summer  in  our  hot  inland  city  divided  be- 
tween superintending  extensive  repairs  on  both  the 

malady  was  universally  declared  incurable;  that  conditions 
might  be  ameliorated  by  treatment  but  that  one  never  could 
be  delivered  from  this  disease  except  by  death. 


122    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

school  and  residential  buildings,  and  carrying  on  a 
correspondence  in  connection  with  my  professional 
and  my  official  labors  which  kept  two  secretaries 
busy. 

The  only  entry  regarding  my  health  which  I  find 
in  my  diary  between  the  date  of  my  last  conversation 
with  Doctor  G.  already  cited  and  August  twelfth, 
runs  as  follows : 

"It  is  very  curious — I  am  again  feeling  perfectly 
well,  lively  and  vigorous  as  I  have  not  felt  for  near- 
ly a  year.  Bright's  Disease  must  be  a  very  insidi- 
ous malady  to  be  able  to  bring  its  victim  face  to 
face  with  death,  as  I  am  said  to  be,  and  yet  to  allow 
one  not  only  a  release  from  discomfort,  pain  and 
all  sense  of  weakness,  but  to  permit  the  doomed 
victim  to  experience  a  sense  of  buoyancy.  Some- 
times, in  spite  of  my  efforts  to  correct  my  fancy 
by  my  judgment,  it  seems  to  me  that  this  sensa- 
tion of  buoyancy  follows  what  I  can  only  describe 
to  myself  as  a  very  gentle  ministration  of  electricity 
— this  sensation  is  frequent  but  so  sudden,  so  fleet- 
ing and  so  subtle  that  before  I  am  quite  sure  of  its 
presence  it  has  ceased.  This  really  seems  the  only 
reminder  of  the  etheric  experiences  of  recent  years 
— but  for  the  recurrence  of  this  sensation,  all  avenues 
to  the  subtle  world  seem  closed.  I  often  wonder 
whether  they  were  ever  opened ;  my  memory  of  them 
all  is  clear ;  I  have  been  lately  rereading  my  contem- 
porary records  of  them.  They  were  real.  Why 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     123 

have  they  ceased  ?  Is  the  cause  to  be  found  in  men- 
tal perturbation  or  in  physical  depletion  or  in  both? 
How  I  wish  I  knew.  It  seems  to  me  that  I  have 
been  unable  for  months  to  get  still  enough  to  hear  or 
see  or  feel.  May  the  approaching  vacation 
bring  me  repose  of  spirit  and  perception  and,  in 
some  way,  reestablish  my  connection  with  my  hus- 
band on  what  they  call  the  'Etheric  Plane.'  After 
commencement  is  over  I  must  try  to  find  some 
psychic  who  can  reopen  the  door  for  me." 

Such  was  my  state  of  mind  as  recorded  on  my 
anniversary,  May  27th,  1902. 

Eleven  days  later  the  school  had  closed — the  stu- 
dents had  scattered  to  their  homes — my  vacation 
program  had  begun.  I  devoted  the  mornings  to  in- 
terviews with  business  men,  with  past  and  prospec- 
tive supporters  of  the  school,  and  to  supervising 
workmen  of  all  sorts  who,  either  singly  or  in  squads 
in  daily  aggregates  of  from  three  to  forty-seven, 
were  occupied  from  June  fifteenth  to  September 
fifteenth  in  the  repairs  before  alluded  to.  The 
afternoons  were  spent  in  my  office  dictating  alter- 
nately to  my  two  stenographers  letters  relating  to 
business  and  to  Council  propaganda. 

A  circumstance  which  quite  changed  my  feelings 
about  spending  the  summer  at  home  was  the  un- 
expected arrival  on  June  fifth  of  Miss  G.,  who, 
with  the  intention  of  spending  only  a  few  days,  re- 
mained as  my  guest  until  August  thirteenth. 


124    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

Miss  G.  was  at  the  time  employed  in  writing  a 
play.  Both  of  us  were  unceasingly  occupied  during 
the  day ;  although  we  met  at  breakfast  and  luncheon, 
our  leisure  for  real  conversation  came  only  with  the 
six  o'clock  dinner,  after  which  Mre  took  an  hour  or 
so  for  receiving  friends,  who  like  myself,  were  spend- 
ing the  summer  in  the  city,  or  for  reading  aloud. 
The  two  or  three  hours  before  retiring  for  the  night 
were  spent  by  me  in  serious  study  and  in  efforts 
to  reestablish  periods  of  concentration.  About  the 
middle  of  July,  Miss  G.  told  me  that  she  was  re- 
ceiving automatic  communications  of  importance 
and  that  she  had  been  directed  to  read  to  me  one  in 
which  she  had  been  instructed  by  my  husband  to 
send  for  a  ouija-board  and  to  sit  with  me  for  auto- 
matic writing.  The  letter  explained  that  her  own 
plans  had  been  curiously  interrupted  to  secure  her 
society  for  me  whom  her  "mere  presence  in  the 
house  was  aiding  to  a  higher  degree  of  sensitive- 
ness." She  was  further  told  that  her  teachers  and 
my  own  on  the  Etheric  Plane  had  united  to  assist 
me  to  the  practical  development  and  efficient  use 
of  my  latent  psychic  powers. 

This  was  amazing  and  to  me  incredible,  for  while 
my  hopes  to  achieve  the  quality  which  would  enable 
my  consciousness  to  be  accessible  to  friends  on  the 
Etheric  Plane  had  been  more  or  less  strong  and 
constant  for  the  four  years  following  what  I  call 
my  first  knowledge  of  the  continuity  of  life  on 
post-mortem  planes,  not  only  all  capacity  but  all 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     125 

courage  had  been  reduced  to  nearly  the  point  of 
extinction  during1  the  hard  fifth  year  now  coming 
to  an  end,  apparently  in  a  total  eclipse  of  that  light 
which  had  revealed  to  me  higher  planes  on  which 
further  evolved  humans  were  strenuously  active. 
It  will  be  recalled  that  I  had  received  such  a 
writing  machine  from  Mrs.  H.  as  was  mentioned  in 
Miss  G.'s  letter  and  that  my  husband  had  discour- 
aged its  use.  This  fact  made  its  recommendation 
now  seem  improbable  if  not  puerile  and  unscientific, 
and  for  the  first  time  since  August  nth,  1897,  I 
felt  repelled  by  the  attempt  of  my  friends  to  reach 
me.  However,  desire  to  communicate  directly  with 
them  and  enter  into  immediate  relation  with  the 
subtler  planes  of  life  overcame  my  repugnance;  my 
friend  obeyed  the  directions  given  her,  sent  for  the 
ouija-board  and  induced  me  to  try  to  learn  to  use  it. 
The  process  was  very  simple;  except  when  directed 
for  some  reason  always  carefully  stated  and  ex- 
plained through  my  automatic  letter  to  Miss  G.  to 
omit  an  exercise,  we  repaired  to  the  library  at  nine 
o'clock  each  evening  and  drawing  our  chairs  near 
to  each  other,  we  concentrated  in  silence  a  few 
minutes;  then  I  would  ask  questions  and  on  ouija 
held  by  my  friend  would  slowly  be  spelled  out  in- 
telligent replies.  After  a  little  I  was  directed  to 
"hold  the  board,  to  rub  it  and  thus  to  fill  it  with 
magnetism,"  and  lo!  answers  came  when  held  in 
only  my  own  hands.  So  soon  as  this  step  was 
gained,  through  an  automatic  communication  pro- 


126    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

duced  by  Miss  G.'s  hand,  I  was  directed  to  put  the 
ouija-board  away  and  never  use  it  again  unless 
particularly  instructed  to  do  so.* 

I  was  told  that  my  use  of  the  board  was  prelimi- 
nary to  automatic  writing  and  was  given  most  min- 
ute directions  about  the  tablets  and  pencils  to  be 
used  in  producing  the  latter.  Those  materials  I 
purchased  at  a  certain  shop  by  specific  instructions, 
magnetized  them,  and  holding  the  pencil  on  the 
page — lo!  it  began  to  move,  first  describing  circles 
and  ellipses,  then  combining  these  figures  with  fan- 
tastic but  harmonious  and  evidently  intentioned  in- 
tricacy. Two  tablets  were  filled  with  these  figures 
and  then,  suddenly  faster  than  thought,  there  was 
traced  on  the  page  a  greeting,  an  expression  of 
triumph,  of  joy,  of  gratitude — followed  by  this  most 
surprising  sentence,  which  I  copy  from  the  page 
on  which  it  appeared  before  my  astonished  eyes. 

"To-night,  May,  I  wish  to  introduce  to  you  two 
friends  of  mine  who  are  to  be  your  first  teachers — 
May,  this  is  Rubinstein." 

I  was  so  startled  that  I  dropped  the  pencil,  ex- 
claiming, "But,  Theodore,  the  only  Rubinstein  of 


*The  explanation  given  was  that  the  ouija-board  is  an 
open  door  around  which  many  unpurified  and  undeveloped 
humans  are  wont  to  crowd  eager  for  entrance  into  any  mind 
that  can  be  used  by  them  to  effect  a  return  to  earth ;  and  that 
to  be  thus  used  by  such  undeveloped  beings  is  most  injurious 
and  even  dangerous.  I,  of  course,  promised  obedience  to  this 
warning  which  I  have  carefully  observed. 


127 

whom  I  have  ever  heard  was  a  great  musician.  You 
can  not  be  presenting  him?" 

Miss  G.  took  the  pencil  and  through  her  hand 
came  the  reply,  "Yes!  I  mean  Anton  Rubinstein, 
the  famous  pianist,  who  is  to  be  your  teacher." 

"Theodore,  that  is  quite  impossible.  You  know — • 
you  must  remember  that  I  am  not  at  all  musical." 

"I  know  you  neither  sing  nor  play  on  any  instru- 
ment but  the  deepest  element  in  your  character  is 
love  of  harmony,  and  harmony  is  the  foundation  of 
music,  as  it  is  its  first  product.  It  is  your  love  of 
harmony  which  makes  you  always  reconcile  the 
different.  It  is  this  which  enabled  you  to  conceive 
of  'the  Council  Idea/  and  which  has  given  you  your 
success  as  an  organizer.  You  have  always  been  a 
harmonizer  and  now  your  reward  is  to  be  instruct- 
ed by  the  Master  of  Harmony." 

As  these  last  words  were  written,  I  felt  the  cool 
air  blow  suddenly  across  my  face  and  simultaneously 
felt  the  thrill  of  the  magnetic  current  passing 
through  my  body.  These  sensations  ceased  in  an 
instant,  and  my  husband  continued:  "Mr.  Rubin- 
stein has  a  very  strong  personality.  He  says  he  con- 
siders his  connection  with  his  new  pupil  established 
and  he  is  pleased.  He  will  soon  write  to  you;  he 
now  bids  you  good  night  and  withdraws." 

My  husband  then,  through  Miss  G.'s  hand,  di- 
rected her  to  return  the  pencil  to  me,  adding  that 


128    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

he  should  now  be  able  to  use  my  hand  to  make  an 
important  communication. 

I  took  the  pencil  and  with  much  more  ease  than 
I,  of  my  own  volition  and  with  previous  knowledge 
of  what  I  shall  now  write,  can  pen  these  words,  there 
was  traced  by  my  pencil  with  incomparable  speed 
the  following  paragraphs : 

"You  were  right,  May,  perfectly  right.  'There 
is  no  "incurable  disease,"  only  diseases  which  phy- 
sicians have  not  yet  learned  to  cure/  I  shall  say 
which  physicians  on  the  Earth  Plane  have  not  yet 
learned  to  cure,  for  knowledge  of  all  the  things 
found  on  all  the  planes  exists  on  some  plane.  One 
of  my  friends  here  knows  how  to  restore  you  to 
perfect  health.  He  is  here  to  be  presented  to  you. 
Let  me  introduce  to  you,  May,  a  distinguished  phy- 
sician, Pere  Conde,  who,  if  you  will  be  obedient 
to  his  directions,  will  restore  you  to  perfect  health, 
— I  do  not  say  will  cure  you,  for  although  you  are 
full  of  disease,  you  have  not  been  allowed  to  become 
sick.  You  have  always  been  kept  feeling  well  and 
have  been  enabled  to  carry  on  excessive  labors.  Is 
this  not  so  ?  And  since  you  repudiated  the  aid  that 
could  only  enable  you  to  die  comfortably  you  have 
really  been  kept  feeling  strong  and  buoyant.  Is  it 
not  so?" 

I  could  only  exclaim,  "It  is  true,"  and  my  friend 
cried,  "That  explains  it!  I  have  wondered  all  sum- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     129 

mer  how  you  could  endure  all  your  work  and  other 
burdens  and  apparently  feel  so  well!" 

My  husband,  through  my  hand  resumed,  "May, 
you  have  not  greeted  Pere  Conde,  who  stands  here 
saluting  you." 

I  said,  "I  do  not  know  how  to  salute  him.  I  do 
not  know  what  to  think — I  only  know  you  would 
bring  no  one  who  is  not  sincere  and  worthy.  I  need 
help;  I  shall  be  grateful  to  any  one  who  will  help 
me;  but  if  he  is  a  physician,  why  do  you  call  him 
Pere?" 

Through  my  own  hand  came,  "Pere  Conde  is 
both  priest  and  physician.  He  can  minister  to  both 
soul  and  body ;  he  retires  now  but  will  write  to  you 
soon,  perhaps  to-morrow  night." 

It  seemed  impossible,  but  I  knew  that  I  felt  the 
Fere's  withdrawal — and  at  the  same  moment  ex- 
perienced what  I  have  before  described  as  a  very 
gentle  electric  shock — accompanied  by  the  touch  of 
a  zephyr. 

Can  any  one  who  has  not  enjoyed  a  similar  ex- 
perience imagine  either  my  delight  or  my  eagerness  ? 
I  wished  to  write  more.  Questions  multiplied  on 
my  lips,  but  my  husband  through  a  brief  letter  to 
Miss  G.  asserted  that  no  more  could  be  given  me  at 
that  time,  but  that  if  I  could  sleep  calmly  and  bear 
without  fatigue  the  experience  of  this  evening,  I 
should  receive  another  letter  the  next  night.  Then, 
directing  Miss  G.  to  pass  the  pencil  to  me,  he  wrote 
through  my  hand  the  date,  August  II,  1902,  thus 


130    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

calling  my  attention  to  the  fact  that  we  were  cele- 
brating the  fifth  anniversary  of  our  reunion  after 
the  separation  by  death,  and  he  also  reminded  me 
that  I  had  at  different  times  received  the  promise 
that  some  latent  psychic  power  should  become  active 
at  this  time. 

My  friend  and  scribe — my  instructor  in  this 
strange  system  of  penmanship — was  quite  over- 
come; when  at  last  she  could  speak  it  was  to  say 
that  although  she  had  herself  possessed  this  gift 
of  automatic  writing  for  many  years,  she  had  never 
witnessed  a  similar  demonstration.  My  own  feel- 
ings can  not  well  be  described,  but  the  next  morning 
I  awoke  refreshed  by  unbroken  slumber,  and  as  I 
began  the  daily  routine,  I  felt  that  although  appar- 
ently unchanged,  my  world  had  been  made  new; 
that  even  my  inconstant  following  of  the  gleam  of 
which  I  had  caught  the  first  glimpse  on  August  II, 
1897,  had  at  the  end  of  five  years  brought  me  to 
an  open  gate  leading  into  a  wider  path,  above  which 
the  gleam  had  become  a  ray.  I  knew  that,  however 
long,  or  steep  or  rocky  the  way  might  be,  I  should 
follow  it  so  long  as  the  light  should  beckon  me  on. 

And  so  it  is  that  the  end  of  Part  I  of  this  story 
dates  the  beginning  of  Part  II. 


Part  Two 

A  Promise  FulfilledUThe  Story  of  My  Novitiate 


NOTE 

On  August  twelfth  Miss  G.  told  me  that  the  work 
for  which  she  had  been  sent  having  been  accom- 
plished she  must  bring  her  visit  to  a  close.  I  was 
conscious  that  the  solitude  in  which  her  departure 
would  leave  me  would  be  salutary.  She  left  me  on 
August  thirteenth  and  that  evening  I  began  io  prac- 
tice my  new  accomplishment  alone. 

Eager  as  I  was  to  know  whether  the  inferences 
I  had  already  drawn  from  experiences  through  me- 
diums were  correct,  I  was  still  more  anxious  to  cul- 
tivate the  acquaintance  of  the  two  men  who  had 
been  presented  as  my  "first  teachers,"  and  I  begged 
my  husband  to  establish  rapport  for  me  with  them. 
He  assured  me  that  I  was  to  have  the  privilege  of 
an  intimate  friendship  with  both;  but  that  as  their 
instruction  would  be  in  "strict  conformity  to  psychic 
law"  it  had  been  decided  that  before  their  work 
should  begin,  he  must  transmit  a  brief  exposition  of 
the  elementary  principles  of  this  law,  with  a  few  of 
its  corollaries.  He  said  that  he  had  obtained  per- 
mission from  a  celebrated  scientist,  whose  lectures 
he  had  attended,  to  communicate  to  me  such  as  I 
was  now  capable  of  understanding.  The  work  thus 
suggested  was  immediately  begun,  and  not  to  in- 
terrupt by  personal  story  by  inserting  at  this  point 
I  place  these  three  lectures  on  PSYCHIC  LAW  as  an 
appendix  to  the  story.  They  may  help  my  readers 
to  understand  what  follows,  as  they  helped  me  to 
continue  this  arduous  though  fascinating  work* 

M,  W.  S* 


CHAPTER  VI 

RUBINSTEIN   SELECTS   PIANO   AND  DIRECTS  EXERCISE 

AND    PRACTISE.       GREAT    MASTER'S    LIFE    AND 

WORK  ON  ETHERIC  PLANE.      PERE  COND^ 

MY  CONTEMPORARY  notes  show  that  the 
lectures  and  the  discussions  with  my  husband 
resulting  from  them  occupied  all  night  of  August 
thirteenth,  and  that  after  the  continuous  labors  of 
the  next  day  were  finished,  I  repaired  to  the  library, 
where  my  husband  had  advised  me  I  should  hear 
from  many  friends. 

It  may  be  of  interest  to  note  that,  although  all 
of  the  letters  came  through  my  husband's  agency, 
I  felt  the  changing  personalities  of  those  who  ap- 
proached before  one  word  of  each  of  more  than  a 
dozen  communications  had  been  recorded  by  my 
hand.  Among  these  were  characteristic  messages 
from  my  father  and  mother  and  astonishing  re- 
quests from  Rubinstein  and  Pere  Conde. 

The  former  urged  me  to  the  immediate  purchase 
of  a  piano,  and  the  latter  to  the  instant  engagement 
of  a  masseuse.  To  both  I  gave  emphatic  assurances 
of  the  impossibility  of  gratifying  their  respective 
desires.  My  husband  supported  their  demands,  re- 
minded me  of  my  eager  welcome  of  these  teachers 
on  the  eleventh  inst.,  and  assured  me  that  no  un- 
necessary requirement  would  be  made  of  me,  and 

133 


134    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

that  lack  of  means  could  not  be  urged  for  two  rea- 
sons: First,  each  had  assured  him  that  he  should 
ask  nothing  involving  expenditure  for  equipment 
for  his  work  with  me,  beyond  what  he  was  himself 
able  to  secure  the  means  of  paying  for;  and  second, 
that  the  means  which  would  be  provided  for  such 
equipment  could  not  safely  be  diverted  to  any  other 
use. 

My  reply  was,  that  if  I  could  believe  all  that  was 
said,  I  should  doubtless  comply  with  the  requests, 
but  credence  was  impossible  to  me.  My  husband 
told  me  that  if  I  had  the  spirit  of  obedience  to  my 
teachers,  circumstances  on  the  External  Plane 
would  justify  it. 

I  told  Pere  Conde  that  I  not  only  knew  no  com- 
petent masseuse,  but  being  unwilling  to  expose  my 
physical  condition  and  needs,  I  hesitated  to  make 
inquiries  for  one.  The  Pere  said  that  he  should 
endeavor  at  once  to  find  one  suited  to  his  treatment 
of  me,  and  added  that  this  would  require  "a  very 
skilful  manipulator  and  also  a  very  honest  and 
sensitive  woman." 

A  few  hours  later  I  was  summoned  by  telephone 

by  Miss  H — > (a  friend  with  whom  I  had  never 

exchanged  a  word  about  my  physical  state),  who 
asked  me  if  I  did  not  know  of  some  one  needing  a 
masseuse.  She  said  that  a  Danish  woman,  a 
stranger,  was  seeking  work,  and  she  asked  permis- 
sion to  send  Miss  F.  to  me.  As  a  result  of  the  in- 
terview granted,  I  made  a  trial  engagement  of  this 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     135 

masseuse,  whose  devoted  services  continued  for 
nearly  a  year  and  justified  Pere  Conde's  judgment 
of  both  her  personal  and  professional  qualifications. 

To  some  curious  reader's  question,  "Did  Pere 
Conde  find  the  funds  to  pay  for  the  masseuse?"  I 
must  reply  that  he  dictated  the  terms  of  the  con- 
tract; prescribed  the  length  and  the  character  of 
each  treatment  and  apparently  secured  from  time 
to  time  the  literary  engagements  of  kinds  quite  new 
to  me,  with  persons  apparently  introduced  by  him- 
self, by  which  funds  were  provided  outside  of  the 
income  from  my  profession,  sufficient  to  pay  the 
cost,  which  was  not  inconsiderable,  since,  in  con- 
nection with  the  massage,  vapor  baths  were  ordered, 
which  required  the  purchase  of  a  vapor  bath  cabinet, 
a  convenience  of  which  I  had  never  heard  until  I 
was  directed  to  purchase  one.  I  may  add,  that  the 
opportunity  to  purchase  was  given  me  by  an  agent 
at  my  door  the  morning  after  I  had  most  reluctantly 
agreed  to  try  to  find  one. 

Rubinstein  resented  the  engagement  of  a  mas- 
seuse prior  to  the  purchase  of  a  piano;  but  the  lat- 
ter was  so  much  more  foreign  to  my  own  possible 
perception  of  need,  that  it  was  difficult  for  him, 
supported  though  he  was  by  the  urgent  appeals  of 
Pere  Conde  and  the  confident  assurances  of  my 
husband,  to  overcome  my  objections  to  an  invest- 
ment so  large  and  apparently  so  unreasonable.  The 
Master's  method  of  convincing  me  of  his  determina- 
tion and  the  existence  of  its  basis  in  rajr  own  char- 


136    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

acter  was  unexpected;  I  suddenly  experienced  an 
impulse  to  drum,  .as  on  a  piano,  on  every  article  of 
furniture  that  I  approached,  and  I,  who  had  never 
danced  a  step,  began  improvising  and  executing 
complicated  dances,  experiencing  simultaneously  the 
exquisite  blending  of  sensation  and  emotion  which 
I  have  since  learned  can  be  produced  only  by  com- 
municating strains  of  harmony  to  a  harmonized  be- 
ing, *.  e.,  to  "one  whose  mind  and  body  are  con- 
sciously correlated." 

It  must  be  understood  that  my  automatic  writing 
and  all  of  the  exercises,  physical  and  mental,  result- 
ing from  it,  including  the  bathing,  the  massage  and 
the  curious  music,  were  confined  to  the  night — the 
daytime  being  most  peremptorily  required  by  do- 
mestic, professional  and  business  affairs. 

My  desire  to  know  the  conditions  of  life  on  the 
next  plane,  and  to  become  acquainted  with  the  char- 
acters and  interests  of  my  two  new  friends  had 
grown  eager.  To  all  applications  for  information 
my  husband's  reply  was  that  those  who  have  passed 
from  the  experiences  of  the  mortal  life  to  higher 
planes  still  know  the  conditions  and  the  vocabulary 
of  earth's  denizens  and  can  be  helpful  to  such  as 
are  able  to  receive  them;  but  that,  owing  to  three 
circumstances,  great  difficulty  exists  in  explaining 
the  conditions  of  life  on  subsequent  planes  to  those 
still  incarnate. 

First :  Time  and  space  as  conditions  do  not  exist 
on  those  planes. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR 'SLEEPING     137 

Second:  This  single  fact  compels  a  difference 
in  the  vocabularies  of  the  two  planes  which  makes 
it  very  difficult  to  describe  in  the  language  used  on 
the  mortal  plane  the  conditions  of  life  on  the  post- 
mortem. 

Third:  Moreover,  life  on  subsequent  planes  is 
so  analogous  to  life  on  earth — so  accurately  sequen- 
tial to  it — that  its  very  reasonableness  disappoints 
expectations  and  awakens  incredulity;  and  the  re- 
semblances of  post-mortem  to  earth  life  are  inevit- 
ably exaggerated  by  the  ante-mortem  vocabulary 
which  is  the  sole  means  of  communication  at  com- 
mand. 

Probably  the  most  direct  means  of  giving  the 
rekder  some  perception  of  the  vistas  of  life  that 
opened  before  me  during  the  first  few  days  follow- 
ing my  awakening  will  be  found  in  extracts  from 
replies  to  my  questions.  For  brevity,  I  shall  omit 
the  questions  and  comments,  whenever  the  drift  of 
these  can  be  inferred  from  the  responses,  which  are 
verbatim  reports. 

"No,  I  shall  probably  be  unable  to  dictate  the 
entire  course  to  you,  because  the  later  and  more  ad- 
vanced lectures  discuss  matters  to  which  your  mind 
is  not  yet  opened;  but  I  think  you  will  derive  great 
benefit  as  well  as  pleasure  from  those  you  have 
taken;  and  now  I  shall  try  to  gratify  your  curiosity 
about  your  new  friends,  each  of  whom  is,  after  his 
own  manner,  a  towering  personality. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING  ' 


"Rubinstein,  who  came  over  a  little  later  than  I 
did,  is  still  on  the  Etheric  Plane,  where  he  conducts 
large  enterprises.  He  has  a  great  conservatory  of 
music;  he  is  indeed  charged  with  the  music  of  this 
particular  sphere  or  plane  of  being.  He  is  a  tire- 
less worker;  always  composing  anthems,  training 
large  choirs,  arranging  recitals  and  devising  means 
for  causing  music  to  enter  more  largely  into  life 
on  both  the  Earth  and  the  Etheric  Plane." 

During  these  first  weeks  of  experience  of  an 
awakening  brain  when  I  distinctly  felt  its  expan- 
sion in  response  to  the  necessities  of  an  opening 
mind,  I  was  often  so  astonished  that  wonder  passed 
into  a  very  definite  though  subdued  form  of  fright 
•  —  a  kind  of  paralyzing  timidity.  Observing  this, 
my  husband  not  infrequently  reproached  or  rallied 
me,  urging  a  more  courageous  attitude.  In  the  most 
Confidant  language  he  assured  me  that  there  was  no 
occasion  for  fear. 

"You  will  never  be  misled.  You  may,  and  I 
think  must,  sometimes  be  misinformed  as  to  times* 
and  seasons,  for  as  far  as  my  experience  and  ob- 
servation on  this  plane  go,  not  only  for  myself,  but 
for  all  excarnate  humans,  the  most  difficult  condi- 
tion of  the  incarnate  state  to  retain  a  recollection  of 
and  to  reckon  with  is  Time.  It  is  not,  we  believe, 
impossible,  but  it  is  difficult.  To  construct  the  equa- 
tion which  will  enable  us  to  allow  for  it  is  our 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    139 

hardest  task.  You  must,  therefore,  not  rely  too 
absolutely  on  our  time  statements,  but  I  believe  you 
will  never  be  misinformed  as  to  facts. 

"Yes,  I  know  you  are  a  little  anxious  about  your 
headache  this  morning.  You  are  afraid  that  the 
severe  exercises  to  which  Rubinstein  subjects  you 
may  be  injurious.  Have  no  fear.  This  practice 
will  in  the  end  be  as  invigorating  for  your  body  as 
it  will  be  stimulating  to  the  germs  of  musical  per- 
ception. I  do  not  understand  the  entire  plan  for 
your  musical  education;  but  one  feature  of  it  is  to 
awaken  to  vibratory  appeal  and  response  every 
section  of  your  body,  as  well  as  every  cell  of  your 
brain.  I  am  told  that  your  love  of  color  and  your 
keen  perception  of  a  possible  basis  of  harmony  for 
the  apparently  most  different  and  irreconcilable  ele- 
ments— your  love  of  essential  harmony  and  your 
instinctive  recoil  from  discord — are  great  aids  to 
this  work.  You  need  not  hesitate  to  do  everything 
that  this  master  commands,  for  he  is  recognized  on 
this  plane  as  a  great  leader.  He  is  a  wise  man;  a 
sage  as  well  as  a  musician.  He  is  a  great  admirer 
of  the  Czar ;  and  in  your  small  place,  in  your  humble 
way,  you  have,  so  to  speak,  stood  by  the  Czar;  i.  e.f 
you  have  recognized  in  his  call  for  the  Hague  Con- 
ference, a  great  idea,  and  you  have  many  times 
publicly  asserted  your  conviction  that  this  idea 
originated  in  the  Czar's  own  mind,  while  the  mili- 
tary preparations  which  seem  to  contradict  and  an- 
nul it  proceed  not  from  his  desire,  but  from  circum- 


140    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

stance  in  which  he,  although  a  czar,  is  as  powerless 
as  any  peasant.  Now,  you  are  given  a  Russian 
master  hot  only  because  a  Russian  chances  to  be 
the  greatest  available  master,  but  because  the  great- 
est step  in  the  cause  to  which  you  are  personally 
called  has  been  taken  by  the  Czar,  himself  a  Rus- 
sian, an  accomplished  musician  and  a  great  ad- 
mirer of  Rubinstein.  We  here  are  taught  that  the 
laws  of  magnetic  attraction  are  universal,  that  they 
obtain  in  all  spheres  where  being  manifests  in  action 
and  that  they  are  as  unerring  as  the  fluid  under 
their  control  is  subtle.  All  that  I  have  just  told 
you  and  all  that  you  are  experiencing  results  from 
the  operation  of  these  laws." 

Every  night  without  a  thought  I  wrote  with  a 
facility  and  speed  which  thought  would  have  im- 
peded, scores,  sometimes  hundreds,  of  pages — none 
less  interesting  than  those  here  reproduced — but  of 
which  the  subject-matter  was  often  more  foreign  to 
my  untaught  mind,  and  thus  still  less  probably  the 
product  of  my  imagination.  It  came  so  easily,  how- 
ever, that  often  I  was  afraid  that  I  might  be  its 
real  though  unconscious  author. 

"I  know  you  are  surprised  by  the  apparent  ease 
with  which  you  write  and  that  sometimes  you  think 
you  may  be  doing  it  without  aid.  This  is  an  utter 
mistake.  You  do  lend  yourself  to  our  instruction 
with  marvelous  ease,  but  you  know  you  have  been 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    '1413 

in  training  for  over  five  years;  this  training  has 
been  continuous,  though  your  consciousness  of  it 
has  been  only  occasional.  This  training  is  supple- 
mented by  our  love,  another  name  for  rapport, 
which  explains  a  part  of  our  success,  and  by  your 
habit  of  mental  discipline,  which  explains  the  rest." 

To  a  fear  that  I  expressed  lest  I  should  be  unduly 
elated  by  all  that  I  was  enjoying  through  my  new; 
friends,  my  husband  replied: 

"Do  not  fear.  Enjoy  every  new  conquest  of 
knowledge  that  you  make.  Apply  it  to  the  improve- 
ment  of  your  own  life.  You  will  have  disappoint- 
ments enough  to  temper  every  triumph" 

The  date  of  this  conversation  (August  15,  1902) 
is  important  because  it  is  that  of  my  first  inde- 
pendent clairaudience.  The  prefceding  paragraph 
was  accompanied  by  deep  sighs  indicative  of  the 
writer's  anxiety  and  sympathy.  Then  to  my  ex- 
clamation, "What  shall  I  think  of  this !"  with  great 
speed  and  vigor  came  the  following: 

"Think  what  is  true ;  viz. :  that  you  are  only  be- 
ginning to  know  the  resources  of  your  own  nature; 
and  that  these  are  being  revealed  to  you  because  you 
have  been  always  so  zealous  for  health  and  for  the 
perpetuity  of  physical  and  mental  faculty.  Nothing 
that  you  are  told  to  do  by  either  Pere  Conde  or 


142    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

Rubinstein  is  impossible,  though  many  of  their  com- 
mands are  very  heavy — not  to  be  obeyed  without 
great  effort  and  much  sacrifice;  but  the  results 
promised  justify  all  the  sacrifice  and  all  the  labor. 
The  results  are  not  impossible,  only  remote.  I  have 
often  heard  you  say :  'We  are  God's  children,  hold- 
ing in  germ  all  God's  faculties.'  Some  of  these 
faculties  are  now  germinating  in  you  remarkably; 
but  not  miraculously  at  all;  simply  according  to 
Psychic  Law  which  it  is  to  be  your  felicity  to  ex- 
pound. 

"Rubinstein  says  that  your  finely  balanced  phys- 
ical organism  is  indispensable  to  the  success  of  his 
experiment;  that  to  perfect  this  is  his  first  task; 
therefore  you  must  not  shrink  from  any  exercise 
he  directs. 

"Rubinstein,  although  a  musician,  is  practically 
Pere  Conde's  partner  in  the  latter's  care  of  you; 
for  the  most  part  Rubinstein  will  control  hands, 
arms  and  head,  but  the  immediate  purpose  of  his 
work  is  hygienic  rather  than  musical." 

I  had  executed  a  long  and  complicated  series  of 
most  difficult  and  fatiguing  exercises  under  Rubin- 
stein's instruction  just  before  the  hour  that  had 
been  appointed  for  my  husband  to  transmit  a  lec- 
ture whose  fascinating  title  made  me  impatient  for 
it.  My  husband  exhorted  as  follows: 

"Do  not  think  of  the  lecture  at  all;  think  of 


143 


those  already  received  if  you  like;  but  do  not  specu- 
late on  what  is  to  follow.  Empty  your  mind  of  all 
thought.  This  will  be  the  best  condition  for  receiv- 
ing exactly  what  I  wish  to  say  in  a  quite  unmodified 
form." 

I  have  thus  tried  first  to  indicate  Rubinstein's 
relation  to  me,  because,  contrary  to  my  expecta- 
tion, it  was  consciously  established  earlier  than  was 
that  of  Pere  Conde,  whom  I  then  regarded  for  two 
reasons  as  of  prior  importance — first,  my  desire  for 
restoration  to  health  was  incomparably  stronger 
than  my  desire  to  become  sensitive  to  music,  a  pur- 
pose never  until  after  August  i  ith,  1902,  conceived 
of;  second,  my  conviction  that  health  was  a  pos- 
sible attainment  was  at  this  time  hardly  stronger 
than  that  music  was  an  impossible  one.  I  had, 
therefore,  been  eager  for  Pere  Conde's  work  to 
begin;  and  was  curious  about  the  personality  and 
the  life  on  the  Ether ic  Plane  of  the  priest-physician. 
However,  after  having  installed  my  masseuse  and 
secured  my  vapor  bath  cabinet,  he  did  not  for  six 
days  go  beyond  transmitting  formal  directions  for 
their  daily  use;  but  on  August  twentieth  he  gave 
his  first  instructions  about  food : 

"Tell  your  wife  to  eat  only  cereals  and  fruit,  not 
any  vegetable,  whether  grown  above  or  below  the 
ground,  certainly  none  grown  below.  Tell  her  to 
take  the  un fermented  juices  of  fruits  with  bread! 


[144    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

and  nuts  and  to  eat  always  less  and  less.  If  she  will 
eat  less  and  assimilate  what  she  eats  she  will  be 
much  stronger.  When  she  has  had  a  month  of  this 
stiff  regimen  she  may  try  what  she  now  thinks  a 
simple  diet,  and  if  she  enjoys  it,  she  may  resume  it; 
but  one  month  of  what  I  now  prescribe  will  have 
done  so  much  for  her  that  she  will  no  more  go  back 
to  the  fish  pots  or  to  roots,  on  any  account,  than  she 
will  to  the  flesh  pots  which  she  abandoned  nearly 
six  years  ago,  as  she  still  supposes,  of  her  own  ac- 
cord, but,  as  you  know,  because  of  suggestion  from 
this  plane.  Tell  her  on  alternate  nights  when  the 
masseuse  is  here  to  take  a  quick  bath  of  hot  water, 
followed  by  a  cold  bath,  followed  by  the  massage; 
with  much  stretching,  much  rubbing  and  also  much 
deep  breathing.  Tell  her  to  commit  herself  to  my 
manipulation  after  our  prayers  every  night.  In  this 
will  be  little  manipulation,  but  on  this  plane  much 
concentration,  during  which  she  is  to  yield  always 
to  any  physical  impulse  she  may  have.  Tell  her 
during  these  exercises  to  contemplate  herself  as 
well  and  strong." 

My  husband  added : 

"These  baths  and  exercises  will,  I  am  assured, 
expel  from  your  system  the  poison  with  which  it  is 
now  charged. 

"Pere  Conde  says  that  it  is  most  important  that 
you  be  very  careful  and  abstemious  during  this 
transformation  of  the  atoms  of  your  body  which 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    145 

is  now  in  progress.  The  Pere  adds  that  after  this 
period  of  transformation  and  of  cell  opening  is 
over  you  can  return  to  your  usual  diet  or  even  to 
a  more  abundant  one  without  injury,  but  that  this 
period  is  very  critical;  that  to  take  you  through  it 
successfully  will  help  you  all  the  remainder  of  your 
life,  so  the  sacrifice  is  not  too  great  for  what  will 
result  from  it  .  . 

"If  you  could  only  drop  the  burden  of  care  about 
the  business,  it  would  help  much.  This  task  re- 
quires an  unoccupied  mind.  To  receive  and  to 
transmit  make  a  great  draft  on  that  part  of  your 
structure  which  is  more  delicate  and  more  complex 
even  than  the  nervous  system,  viz. :  on  the  magnetic 
centers. 

"As  soon  as  this  heavy  discipline  is  over,  I  will 
see  that  many  friends  talk  with  you,  or  write  to 
you  directly;  for  one  of  its  results  will  be  your  in- 
creased receptivity  and  your  ability  to  establish 
rapport  at  will.  Just  now  forces  that  you  do  not 
realize  at  all  are  about  you  helping  to  prepare  you 
for  this." 

To  an  incredulous  protest  which  this  last  remark 
drew  from  me  came  this  response : 

"Death  is  larger  life;  but  it  is  a  difficult  thing  to 
realize  at  the  high  tide  of  mortal  vigor,  and  really 
every  one  who  comes  and  every  one  that  each  comer 
leaves  behind  has  to  solve  the  problem  of  continuing 


146    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

existing  relations;  but  there  are  those  connected 
with  us  prior  to  our  birth  who  continue  their  serv- 
ices to  us  on  whatever  plane  we  may  be  until  all 
of  their  obligations  to  us  are  discharged;  and  our 
unconsciousness  of  their  ministrations  does  not 
diminish  their  effort,  although  its  efficiency  would  be 
increased  by  our  consciousness." 

The  foregoing  indicates  the  character  and  the 
essential  content  of  my  psychic  experience  between 
August  fourteenth  and  August  twenty-eighth,  when 
a  change  came. 

There  suddenly  arose  in  my  consciousness  one 
who  announced  himself  as  my  first  helper  in  psychic 
matters.  He  warned  me  not  to  expect  him  to  dis- 
cuss philosophy  only;  said  that  when  on  earth  he 
had  been  obliged  to  discuss  many  small  matters  of 
the  kind  in  regard  to  which  he  hoped  to  be  helpful 
to  me.  With  this  introduction,  he  abruptly  asked 
my  intentions  concerning  a  certain  pupil.  As  if  in 
answer  to  my  surprise  at  this  unexpected  turn  in  his 
discourse,  he  added: 

"That  is  very  personal,  but  are  you  not  a  person  ? 
Is  she  not  a  person  ?  'What  is  a  person  ?'  you  ask ; 
a  very  wise  inquiry.  A  person  is  that  kind  of  ag- 
gregation of  matter  which  combined  with  substance 
and  organized  in  a  unit  leaves  nothing  to  be  given 
to  mass.  'What  is  mass?'  Ask  a  potter  who  han- 
dles clay  in  mass  when  he  moulds  a  vessel.  Yes,  like 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    147 

every  mortal,  you  have  a  guide  who  has  attended 
you  since  birth  and  even  before.  We  never  know 
who  our  particular  guides  are,  so  long  as  we  are  on 
earth;  i.  e.,  we  do  not  know  them  by  name.  We 
may  know  their  characters  and  may  indeed  be  con- 
scious of  their  presence,  as  you  were  conscious  of 
my  arrival  when  without  announcement  I  came  to- 
night. The  guide's  office  is  to  lead  his  charge  into 
the  assigned  path  and  help  him  accomplish  his  high- 
est possible  destiny.  A  part  of  one's  destiny  is  in- 
deed the  helper  -whose  appointment  before  his  dis~ 
ciple's  birth  makes  him  responsible  for  much  in  his 
disciple's  life." 

At  the  time  that  this  helper  entered  my  conscious- 
ness and  made  the  foregoing  communication,  his 
words  seemed  to  me  irrelevant ;  his  existence  doubt- 
ful (although  his  personality  was  striking,  power- 
ful and  clearly  perceived) ;  and  the  whole  incident 
purposeless  if  not  bizarre.  I  recount  it  because  the 
passing  years  have  interpreted  and  confirmed  every 
remark — have  revealed  the  contemporary  sig- 
nificance and  permanent  value  of  the  instructions 
and  have  established  the  speaker  in  my  list  of  per- 
manent, vigilant  and  patient  friends. 

For  two  nights  I  felt  rather  than  heard  the  in- 
structions of  my  most  lately  perceived  helper;  and 
simultaneously  I  executed  unprecedently  severe 
exercises  under  Rubinstein's  direction  and  submitted 
to  the  vigorous  but  reluctantly  administered  mas- 


I48    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

sage  which,  at  Pere  Conde's  command,  I  exacted 
from  my  attendant.  Finally  I  realized  that  these 
extraordinary  experiences  presaged  a  crisis. 

On  August  thirty-first,  as  I  prepared  to  receive3 
a  letter  from  my  husband,  he  said: 

"Take  a  pencil  that  will  require  less  strength.  The 
words  must  flow  like  water,  and  they  will  when  the 
channel  is  cut  a  little  deeper.  You  must  not  pause, 
you  must  not  think.  Thought  will  kill  expression. 
Think  beforehand  and  between  times  if  you  will, 
but  when  you  write  for  us  let  your  mind  be  as 
empty  as  possible.  You  meet  with  us  to  get  filled. 
If  you  bring  your  mind  already  filled,  we  can  pour 
nothing  in." 

My  pencil  faltered. 

"Handle  your  pencil  without  hesitation.  You  are 
to  write  thousands,  nay  millions,  of  pages,  and 
there  must  be  no  halting  for  a  word  or  for  an  idea. 

"Take  the  magnetized  board  and  press  it  on  your 
head.  Then  observe,  follow  and  describe  the  im- 
pulses that  seem  to  be  communicated.  These  ex- 
periments are  made  by  our  best  magnetists  under 
the  most  careful  guidance  and  to  the  highest  ends." 

I  did  as  directed  and  my  mind  was  thus  taken 
through  a  great  number  of  unrelated  exercises  and 
many  non-consecutive  repetitions  of  them.  The 
rapport  established  at  last  was  such  that  I  seemed 
to  feel  my  husband's  thoughts  as  if  impressed  di- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     149 

rectly  on  my  brain  with  indescribable  rapidity  and 
with  an  accuracy  which  made  my  verbal  (vocal) 
report  entirely  satisfactory.  I  was  now  told  that 
the  immediate  purpose  of  all  these  unusual  exercises 
was  to  secure  a  condition  in  which  I  could  receive 
a  letter  of  instruction  from  Pere  Conde  directly, 
i.  e.,  without  my  husband's  agency. 

The  advantage  of  such  direct  communication 
was  thus  explained: 

"If  Pere  Conde  £an  write  directly,  instead  of 
through  me,  you  will  find  enough  difference  be- 
tween his  method  and  mine — if  I  may  use  the  ex- 
pression between  his  hand  and  mine,  though  I  do 
not  refer  to  the  physical  formation  of  the  letters, 
but  to  the  felt  difference  between  his  influence  and 
mine — to  establish  our  separate  entities,  and  this 
will  confirm  my  identity.  If,  after  making  an  effort, 
he  can  neither  control  your  mind  to  receive  his  di- 
rections, nor  your  hand  to  write  independent  of 
your  own  mind's  guidance,  then  he  will  dictate  to 
my  mind  and  I  shall  write  for  him  until  we  have 
by  further  experiment  established  rapport  between 
you. 

"  'Now,  Pere  Conde,'  added  my  husband,  'my 
wife  will  be  glad  to  receive  a  letter  from  you.' ' 

After  several  pages  of  illegible  scrawls  there  ap- 
peared these  words : 

"I  wish  if  possible  to  write  in  French." 


ISO    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

The  pencil  glided  rapidly  over  the  paper,  leaving 
in  French  not  what  I  had  expected  to  receive — 
directions  relating  to  the  care  of  my  health — but  an 
analysis  of  my  husband's  character,  and  an  outline 
of  the  plan  that  they  had  together  matured  for  aid- 
ing each  other  in  my  instruction  and  my  develop- 
ment. One  statement  made  by  the  Pere  in  this 
connection  I  felt  so  impossible  that  my  mind  in- 
voluntarily opposed  it.  This  unintended  resistance 
caused  me  to  withdraw  my  hand.  With  what  seemed 
a  gentle  but  compelling  pressure  the  Pere  resumed 
its  use,  saying  that  what  I  had  denied  as  incredible 
would  soon  be  proved  true  (an  assertion  supported 
by  subsequent  experience).  Then  he  dropped  the 
subject  and  wrote  in  French*  two  pages  of  direc- 
tions about  the  care  of  my  health. 

This  important  date,  August  thirty-first,  was 
marked  by  an  equally  significant  change  in  my  re- 
lations to  Rubinstein,  who  wrote: 

"The  piano  must  be  purchased  at  once  without  a. 
single  day's  further  delay ;  it  must  be  placed  in  your 
own  room,  by  that  one  of  the  west  windows  which  is 
nearest  your  bed.  It  is  important  that  you  have  a 
good  instrument.  When  you  go  to  the  music  rooms 
to  purchase,  I  shall  help  you  select  it." 


*I  know  French  well  enough  to  read  with  facility 
and  to  write  a  letter  on  any  subject  with  whose  matter  I  am 
familiar,  but  Pere  Conde  then  and  since  through  a  voluminous 
correspondence  used  many  terms  unfamiliar  to  me,  but  whose 
meanings  always  came  with  the  word. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     151! 

My  husband  confirmed  these  directions,  but  my 
skepticism  yielded  slowly  to  his  urgency  and  finally 
he  made  this  concession: 

"Yes,  you  may  ask  the  advice  of  Mrs.  Hunter,* 
who  does  of  course  know  what  is  good  for  a  be- 
ginner to  practise  on,  one  who  must  play  by  herself 
several  hours  every  day  until  her  fingers  are  per- 
fectly flexible;  you  may  ask  her  advice,  but  I  am 
sure  you  will  find  that  Rubinstein  selects  your  in- 
strument." 

In  reply  to  my  objections  to  purchasing  a  piano 
on  account  of  its  heavy  cost,  my  husband  again 
assured  me  that  he  had  perfect  confidence  in  Rubin- 
stein's ability  to  help  me  make  a  very  favorable  con- 
tract with  the  dealers  in  pianos  and  also  in  his  abil- 
ity to  put  in  my  way  unexpected  opportunities  for! 
meeting  the  payments  as  they  should  fall  due. 

At  this  point  I  will  say  that  all  came  about  as  im- 
plied in  the  foregoing  paragraph.  I  made  the  pur- 
chase very  conscious  of  Rubinstein's  dominating 
presence  and  of  his  controlling  influence  in  the  whole 
transaction,  but  the  story  of  purchase  and  payment 
will  be  told  in  a  supplement  to  this  chapter. 

This  incident  stimulated  my  desire  to  know  more 
of  Rubinstein  and  of  my  husband's  acquaintance 
with  him,  and  I  refused  to  wait  longer  for  informa- 
tion often  promised  but  always  postponed.  I  had 

*One   of   the   teachers   of   piano   in   the    Classical    School. 


152 

naturally  supposed  that  Rubinstein's  interest  in  me 
had  been  awakened  by  my  husband,  but  now  I  re- 
ceived a  long  letter,  from  which  I  quote  those  para- 
graphs which  either  at  the  time  interested  me  most 
or  have  since  been  proved  the  most  significant 

"September  ist,  1902,  10  P.  M. 
"The  Library. 

"I  date  this  letter  carefully,  for  I  regard  it  an 
important  one.  Soon  after  you  had  begun  under 
my  direction  to  sit  with  Miss  G.  in  the  hope  of 
acquiring  the  art  of  automatic  writing,  Rubinstein 
approached  me  with  a  petition  to  be  permitted  to 
control  your  hands  with  a  view  to  directing  your 
piano  practise.  I  assured  him  that  you  were  not 
musical  and  that  you  never  indulge  in  piano  prac- 
tise, whereupon  he  told  me  that  he  had  for  a  long 
time  been  trying  to  find  some  one  through  whom 
he  could  demonstrate  the  possibility  of  the  exercise 
of  a  controlling  influence  from  the  Apres-mort 
Plane  on  one  still  living  on  the  Avant-mort  Plane; 
that  he  had  for  some  time  been  drawn  to  observe 
you,  and  that  since  he  had  been  able  to  observe  your 
mind  in  periods  of  quiet  concentration,  he  had  be- 
come convinced  that  he  can  produce  music  either 
through  the  Control  of  your  physical  organism  or 
through  teaching  you  to  produce  music  with  intel- 
ligent purpose  yourself.  .  .  . 

"Well,  I  also  was  much  astonished,  but  I  have 
witnessed  so  much  experimentation  through  the 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    153 

medium  of  etheric  magnetism  that  I  consented,  after 
stipulating  certain  conditions,  to  introduce  Rubin- 
stein to  you.  .  .  . 

"The  conditions  are  two:  that  he  shall  never  ex- 
haust you  by  practise,  and  that  always  at  the  close 
of  every  lesson  he  shall  replenish  your  forces. 
Rubinstein  is  a  great  psychic  and  I  understand  that 
no  one  is  more  skilled  than  he  in  the  art  of  mani- 
festation through  the  use  of  ether.  He  has  a  won- 
derful personality;  you  will  be  curiously  sympa- 
thetic with  him  as  you  know  him  better.  You  are 
really  much  alike;  although  your  expression  has 
been  along  lines  which  he  scorns;  and  his  in  music, 
of  which  you  know  nothing.  This  experiment  has 
already  attracted  much  attention  on  this  plane,  for 
temporarily  Rubinstein  has  abandoned  his  other 
work  to  devote  himself  exclusively  to  you.  When- 
ever you  can  give  the  time,  he  will  teach  you,  give 
you  physical  exercises  and  direct  your  piano  prac- 
tise. When  you  can  not  give  the  time,  he  will  be 
generating  and  transmitting  magnetism  for  your 
use.  .  .  . 

"Rubinstein  was  of  Jewish  extraction  on  his 

mother's  side;  .  Consult  a  cyclopedia, 

you  will  find  this  to  be  true;  and  he  tells  me  what 
I  had  not  before  realized,  but  what  I  think  true, 
that  you  are  curiously  open  to  the  influences  of  his 
race." 

I  was  moved  by  all  this  information  and  I  felt  a 


'154    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

ideep  sympathy  with  this  master  which  has  never 
suffered  ebb;  never  have  I  been  so  situated  that  I 
could  meet  any  but  the  smallest  fraction  of  his  de- 
mands, but,  in  the  years,  I  have  grown  to  feel  that 
acquaintance  with  this  great  soul  is  a  high  privilege 
and  to  know  that  contact  with  his  personality  is  as 
energizing  as  contact  with  an  electric  dynamo. 

When  my  husband  ceased  writing  of  this  master, 
I  expressed  regret  that  the  hour  set  for  me  to  retire 
had  arrived,  and  was  instantly  told : 

"You  will  not  retire  to-night.  We  shall  magnetize 
you  so  that  you  will  not  need  sleep,  i.  e.,  so  that 
you  will  lose  sleep  without  feeling  it ;  but  afterward 
we  must  make  it  up;  for  sleep  is  now  one  condition 
particularly  indispensable  to  the  development  of 
concentration.  The  generators  have  poured  mag- 
netism upon  you  in  streams.  You  have  such  ab- 
sorbent power  that  you  seem  never  to  get  all  you 
could  use,  but  you  will  be  perfectly  sustained  and 
must  be  wide  awake,  for  an  important  decision  is 
to  be  made  to-night." 

It  transpired  that  "the  important  decision" 
was  in  what  condition  I  should  receive  the  instruc- 
tions and  ministrations  of  Pere  Conde  and  Rubin- 
stein. I  was  told  that  the  work  of  both  could  be 
done  much  better  and  more  rapidly,  were  I  willing 
to  pass  into  "a  state  of  trance"  to  receive  and  to 
execute  orders — that  by  this  method  the  physical 
restoration  could  be  as  complete,  possibly  more  so, 


155 

than  if  treatment  were  given  when  I  was  awake  and 
in  my  usual  state;  but,  in  the  latter  condition,  al- 
though I  should  "experience  much  difficulty  and 
what  will  seem  to  you  hardship,"  instructions  would 
accompany  treatment,  and  I  should  be  able  largely 
to  increase  my  intelligence  about  the  body  and  its 
care.  I  was  assured  that  if  Rubinstein's  services 
were  received  while  I  was  in  a  trance  state  music 
would  be  an  almost  immediate  attainment;  that,  if 
I  received  his  help  in  my  normal  condition,  music 
would  become  a  conscious  achievement,  requiring" 
much  time,  almost  infinite  labor  and  the  severest 
preliminary  exercises  long  continued  for  the 
preparation  of  my  body. 

For  me  there  was  but  one  answer  to  this  proposi- 
tion. Always  I  had  refused  to  shirk  pain  by  in- 
voking unconsciousness  even  by  the  mild  measure 
of  taking  laughing  gas  to  lull  the  torture  of  a  tooth's 
extraction.  The  possibility  of  being  overcome  in  a 
trance  was  inexpressibly  repulsive.  I  already  loved 
and  revered  my  new  friends.  My  confidence  in  my 
husband  was  absolute.  They  all  apparently  favored 
the  trance  and  I  was  grieved  to  disappoint  them; 
but  the  integrity  of  my  own  personality  was  to  me 
even  more  important ;  perhaps  it  was  foolish  to  think 
that  the  retention  of  consciousness  through  what- 
ever experience  might  come  to  one  was  essential  to 
such  integrity,  but  to  me  it  seemed  so.  Moreover, 
I  wanted  to  have  the  benefit  in  every-day  normal 
life  of  whatever  I  might  learn  through  my  great 


156    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

masters,  to  whom,  granted  the  retention  of  normal 
consciousness,  I  agreed  to  yield  as  perfect  an 
obedience  as  the  limitations  of  my  own  powers,  my 
circumstances  and  my  occupations  would  permit. 

My  decision  was  accepted,  and,  as  I  subsequently 
learned,  with  deep  satisfaction  on  the  part  of  my 
teachers.  Continuing  the  night's  work,  my  husband 
wrote : 

"Only  three  weeks  ago  and  we  were  rejoicing 
in  this  new  method  of  communication  that  had  just 
been  given  us;  now  we  must  commence  working 
for  another  which  will  make  this  seem  slow  and 
prosaic.  .  .  . 

"You  must  hold  yourself  sacred  for  this  complex 
work.  To  be  sacred  you  must  be  consecrated.  No 
evil  thought  must  find  an  instant's  lodging  in  the 
mind  that  seeks  growth.  You  must  love,  love,  love, 
love,  the  world  even  as  Christ  loved  it  and  gave 
Himself  for  it;  like  Him  you  must  be  willing  to 
give  yourself  for  it.  Pere  Conde,  Rubinstein  and 
I  shall  all  unite  in  praying  for  you.  This  for  Rubin- 
stein is  almost  a  new  experience.  He  is  not  very 
religious,  but  his  service  to  you  is  helping  him." 

I  resented  this;  for  five  years  I  had  been  urged 
to  study  science,  and  now  that  some  result  from 
my  feeble  efforts  to  do  so  seemed  at  hand,  it  ap- 
peared that  my  new  helpers  and  my  first  adviser 
were  lapsing  from  science  into  superstition.  All 
this  and  much  more  I  said,  confessing  that  I  had 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     157 

been  greatly  bewildered  by  the  frequent  references 
to  prayer  with  which  Pere  Conde's  instruction  had 
been  garnished.  To  these  protests  my  husband  re- 
plied : 

"I  still  say  study  science,  but  I  add  that  the  rela- 
tion of  the  soul  to  spirit  and  the  relation  of  the 
detached  excarnate  spirit  to  its  origin,  i.  e.,  to  what 
is  commonly  named  God,  which  is  the  whole  sub- 
ject-matter of  religion,  is  also  within  the  domain 
of  science;  but  instruction  in  nominal  religion  is 
not  our  present  task.  The  next  step  in  your  double 
task  of  becoming  possessed  of  health  and  of  music, 
and  one  that  will  promote  equally  both  efforts  is 
to  replace  writing  by  hearing.  We  have  so  much 
to  say  to  you  that  to  write,  (even  with  speed  made 
possible  by  the  magnetic  etheric  current,)  is  in- 
tolerable. You  must  acquire  clair  audience. 

"We  shall  all  unite  in  magnetizing  you.  You  are 
to  close  your  eyes,  open  your  ears  and  listen  as 
hard  as  you  can.  We  shall  continue  to  write  all 
matters  needed  for  record,  but  the  new  method  is 
to  be  opened  up  and  speech  is  to  supersede  writing, 
because  quicker,  safer,  more  certainly  accurate  and 
certainly  more  convenient." 

From  this  date  forward  Rubinstein  was  con- 
stantly entreating  me  to  listen,  a  process  which  he 
thus  explained: 

"Listening  is  the  pressing  of  the  soul  against 


158    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

the  button  that  rings  the  call-bell  on  the  Etheric 
Plane  whence  comes  all  music." 

On  that  and  immediately  succeeding  nights  I  had 
many  prescribed  exercises  in  both  listening  and 
looking;  my  husband  was!  very  anxious  that  I 
should  hear  his  voice  without  the  aid  of  a  trumpet 
or  any  other  mechanical  device  for  conveying  vibra- 
tions; and  in  all  the  exercises  in  looking  he  was 
particular  to  urge  me  to  distinguish  between  his 
face  as  I  remembered  it  and  as  it  would  be  com- 
municated to  my  vision  from  the  Etheric  Plane. 
When  I  began  to  hear  I  was  afraid  that  the  sounds 
were  fancied — conjured  by  my  own  mind. 

"It  is  in  one  sense  your  own  mind;  it  is  through 
your  mind  enlightened  by  the  knowledge  I  have 
brought." 

Miss  G.,  who  had  experienced  great  disappoint- 
ments in  her  relations  with  the  Etheric  Plane,  had 
warned  me  against  putting  too  much  confidence  in 
my  new  helpers.  Noting  this,  my  husband  urged 
me  to  resist  fear  as  "the  most  paralyzing  of  all 
emotions,"  and  to  put  aside  suspicion,  "which  would 
deprive  labor  of  fruitage,"  but  at  the  same  time  he 
added : 

"Observe  most  carefully  every  experience  and  use 
all  the  intelligence  you  can  command,  remembering, 
however,  that  fear  and  suspicion  are  never  intel- 
ligent. Do  not  allow  fear  to  come  between  you  and 


NEITHER  DEAD  NO&  SLEEPING    '159 

those  who  would  help  you  to  a  larger  knowledge  of 
yourself.  Do  not  become  skeptical;  faith  is  the  food 
of  the  soul;  if  this  sounds  too  religious,  I  can  add 
with  equal  truth,  faith  is  the  indispensable  atti- 
tude of  mind  of  all  who  promote  the  progress  of 
the  material  world  through  scientific  discovery." 

I  was  much  more  anxious  lest  I  might  deceive 
myself  than  that  I  might  be  deceived  by  those  on 
the  Etheric  Plane.  I  often  feared  that  the  thoughts 
that  I  wrote  down  might  after  all  have  originated 
in  my  own  mind — in  vanity,  pride,  egotism  or  am- 
bition. Those  doubts,  whenever  expressed  to  the 
three  who  had  now  become  my  constant  compan- 
ions, were  put  aside  by  all  with  equal  firmness,  with 
the  reminder  that  my  own  mind,  far  from  originat- 
ing these  ideas,  did  not  credit  them,  but  persistently 
questioned  their  validity. 

After  Conde's  first  direct  letter,  my  husband 
wrote  that  just  as  the  writing  which  a  month 
before  had  been  impossible  to  me  now  seemed  not 
only  perfectly  natural  but  so  indispensable  that 
neither  of  us  could  realize  how  we  had  ever  sup- 
ported our  separation  without  it,  so  the  music,  when- 
ever it  should  arrive,  would  seem  to  be  my  native 
and  necessary  mode  of  expression. 

He  further  assured  me  that  music  and  health 
would  both  result  from  the  expert  application  and 
use  of  the  same  element  upon  which  automatic  writ- 
ing depends,  and  added : 


160    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

"The  greater  difficulty  of  music  over  writing  is 
largely  due  to  the  almost  immeasurably  larger  task 
of  magnetizing  a  piano  as  compared  with  that  of 
magnetizing  a  pencil  and  a  sheet  of  paper.  The 
tasks  undertaken  by  both  Conde  and  Rubinstein  are 
Herculean,  but  they  will  both  be  accomplished. 
Trust  both  implicitly." 

The  first  week  in  September  my  piano  was  duly 
installed  and  placed  in  exact  accord  with  the 
curious  directions  received.  I  say  curious,  for  at 
least  any  one  of  three  large  rooms,  my  drawing- 
room,  living-room  or  library,  would  have  seemed  to 
afford  more  suitable  as  well  as  more  commodious 
quarters. 

My  utter  ignorance  of  a  piano  was  manifested 
when,  thinking  that  something  was  wrong  with  my 
instrument,  I  sent  to  the  firm  of  whom  I  had  pur- 
chased it  for  an  inspector.  I  knew  this  gentleman 
very  well,  having  had  frequent  occasion  to  consult 
him  about  pianos  used  in  the  school. 

The  complaint  I  now  made  and  the  questions  I 
asked  exposed  my  ignorance  to  a  degree  that  morti- 
fied me,  although  I  had  said  frankly,  when  pur- 
chasing the  instrument,  that  I  knew  nothing  about 
it,  having  never  before  touched  the  keys  of  one. 

Later  when  I  told  my  husband  how  embarrassed 
I  had  been,  he  replied  that  he  and  Rubinstein  had 
both  been  present  and  had  been  much  amused ;  that 
they  could  have  prevented  the  incident,  but  it  suited 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     161 

their  purpose  to  have  the  novelty  of  my  new  inter- 
est and  my  utter  ignorance  of  music  known. 

On  the  morning  of  September  ninth,  at  the  end 
of  my  first  all-night  vigil,  my  husband  wrote: 

"The  experiments  made  thus  far  are  but  faintly 
indicative  of  the  regimen  that  will  be  prescribed 
when  the  work  under  your  contract  begins;  you 
know  Pere  Conde's  treatment  will  continue  until 
either  entire  cure  followed  by  perfect  health,  or 
death  arrives.  Health  of  mind — normality,  which 
does  not  mean  the  general  average  of  human  condi- 
tion as  most  people  suppose,  but  a  really  enlightened 
consciousness  of  what  constitutes  being,  such  nor- 
mality, *.  e.,  such  an  awakened  mind,  will  accom- 
pany your  physical  healing;  and  physical  healing 
must  come  if  the  real  you  is  to  stay  on  earth  much 
longer. 

*  "It  will  be  a  hard  struggle  to  get  the  time  to  take 
the  piano  practise  and  the  physical  exercises,  and 
equally  hard  to  submit  to  the  severe  discipline  which 
will  be  necessary  if  you  use  the  help  that  alone  will 
permit  you  to  finish  your  earthly  work — but  how 
do  you  feel  this  morning?" 

The  night  had  gone  with  the  speed  of  thought — 
like  a  dream.  Perhaps  I  should  have  thought  it 
had  been  spent  in  dreaming  but  for  the  several 
octavo  tablets  covered  with  records  of  what  had 
filled  its  hours.  I  felt  perfectly  well  and  ready  for 
the  day's  work. 


162    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

It  was  a  heavily  burdened  day  with  several  hours 
of  close  office  work  and  a  business  trip  by  rail  of 
seventy  miles  from  which  I  did  not  return  until  mid- 
night. Then,  through  my  husband,  I  received  ad- 
vice from  Pere  Conde  that  included  directions  for 
a  magnetic  bath  which  was  followed  by  very  strenu- 
ous physical  exercises  that  could  not  have  been 
impelled  by  a  lesser  motor  than  Rubinstein,  who 
concluded  his  work  at  five  A.  M.  by  an  hour  of 
finger  exercises  without  sound  on  the  piano. 

That  night  many  communications  were  received 
through  my  tireless  husband,  and  at  last  came  these 
words : 

"On  Sept.  loth,  1902.  This  is  the  last  night — 
No,  not  of  your  novitiate,  you  are  too  impatient; 
it  is  the  last  night  of  our  month  of  direct  restoration 
to  each  other,  which  has  been  an  introduction  to 
your  novitiate  which  will  commence  to-morrow 
night.  You  thought  you  were  through?  You 
were  going  to  be  well  now  ?  I  tried  to  prevent  your 
thinking  so.  I  have  told  you  that  there  is  nothing! 
supernatural,  nothing  miraculous  in  what  has  been 
or  in  what  is  to  be.  Your  experience  will  continue 
to  mean  growth.  In  your  case  it  is  upon  this  growth 
that  health  depends.  In  your  case  it  is  upon  this 
growth  and  its  resulting  health  that  music  depends, 
and  growth  implies  effort;  it  implies  scientific 
knowledge  and  the  application  of  this  knowledge  to 
personal  needs.  I  am  not  presiding  at  a  miracle, 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     163 

but  am  superintending  or  (it  would  be  more  exact 
to  say)  observing  a  further  step  in  your  education. 
To  grow  means  to  struggle.  Persevere  in  the  dis- 
cipline, which  will,  I  think,  be  very  rigid.  Be  faith- 
ful to  obey  every  direction  that  will  be  given  you 
by  Pere  Conde  whom  you  know  well  enough  to 
trust,  and  perform  every  exercise  that  will  be  set 
by  Rubinstein.  You  find  us  almost  palpable  to- 
night. The  veil  between  us  is  getting  very  thin 
and  will  soon  be  rent  by  a  perfected  perception. 

"After  this  your  three  chief  present  helpers — my- 
self, Pere  Conde  and  Rubinstein — will  each  demand 
a  separate  book  for  his  letters  and  thus  your  private 
tuition  under  each  one  of  us  will  begin. 

"We  shall  all  require  of  you  as  a  basis  for  our 
respective  instructions,  six  exercises.  What  are 
these  ? 

"WORK.      WAIT.       LOVE.       PRAY.       SERVE.       TRUST. 

"Remember,  the  novitate  begins  to-morrow 
night." 

The  Purchase  of  the  Piano 

My  disinclination  to  increasing  my  obligations  by 
the  purchase  of  what  I  regarded  as  for  me  a  per- 
fectly useless  luxury  continued  and  having  persuaded 
my  husband  to  allow  me  to  use  one  of  the  school 
pianos  for  a  month  at  least  in  testing  my  musical 
abilities,  whose  existence  I  did  not  credit,  I  arranged 
that  a  piano  should  be  removed  from  the  school 
gymnasium  to  my  residence  on  August  seventeenth. 

On  the  evening  of  August  sixteenth,  I  felt  a  per-* 


164    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

turbed  atmosphere  in  the  library.     The  first  letter 
was  from  Rubinstein: 

"Madam,  you  must  purchase  a  piano  and  not  com- 
pel me  to  waste  time  and  strength  in  magnetizing 
an  old  instrument  that  is  to  be  used  for  only  a 
month." 

I  felt  distinctly  the  emotion  of  grieved  indigna- 
tion which  accompanied  the  words;  for  a  few  mo- 
ments it  seemed  to  interrupt  his  communication, 
which  presently  concluded  thus: 

"Change  your  order  to-morrow  morning.  Buy 
the  piano  I  have  indicated  and  to-morrow  night  I 
will  give  you  a  lesson  on  it." 

My  husband  then  wrote: 

"I  ask  you  at  once  to  countermand  the  directions 
you  gave  yesterday  for  the  removal  of  the  piano 
from  the  gymnasium  and  buy  the  one  at  the  deal- 
er's in  light  mahogany  case  described  by  Rubinstein. 
You  will  see  the  wisdom  of  this  within  twenty-four 
hours." 

The  next  day  I  visited  the  music  store  and  looked 
at  pianos — but  could  not  decide  to  purchase.  That 
evening  Rubinstein  wrote: 

"I  want  to  speak  of  the  piano  we  saw  to-day. 
To-morrow  morning,  when  you  must  visit  the  store 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     165 

again,  the  gentleman  will  show  you  another  superior 
to  the  best  one  he  showed  to-day.  That  better  one, 
already  described  by  me,  is  the  one  which  I  wish 
placed  in  your  room  for  these  reasons:  the  case 
is  more  harmonious  with  your  room;  the  tone  is 
better  and  the  keys  respond  a  little  more  easily  to 
the  touch." 

In  response  to  a  question  concerning  the  com- 
parative merit  of  two  instruments  which  had  been 
referred  to  by  a  salesman,  of  which  the  one  in  oak 
case  was  cheaper  by  over  one  hundred  dollars,  and 
which  on  that  account  I  wished  to  take  if  I  were 
obliged  to  purchase  at  all,  Rubinstein  wrote : 

"I  do  not  know  whether  the  instrument  I  have 
directed  you  to  get  is  better  in  itself  than  the  one 

in  the  oak  case ;  but  it  is  better  for  you.  A • — , 

a  new ,  is  the  best  that  you  can  get 

now;  and  about  the  price?  That,  as  the  saying  is, 
will  pay  for  itself.  I  shall  select  it,  i.  e.,  shall  iden- 
tify to  you  the  exact  one  I  have  described;  for  I 
have  selected  it,  as  you  know. 

"Your  husband  has  promised  to  pay  for  it,  i.  e., 
to  enable  you  to  have  the  means  of  meeting  the 
(conditions  of  the  instrument  of  purchase  whichj 
stipulates  them,  as  the  terms  mature  quite  outside 
the  income  of  the  school. 

"This  is  indeed  the  first  severe  test  of  your  con- 
fidence in  us,  i.  e.,  in  the  validity  of  pur  relations; 


i66    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

in  the  reliability  of  our  promises;  and  in  the  wis- 
dom of  our  decisions." 

I  followed  these  directions.  The  contract  of  pur- 
chase was  generous  as  to  time,  and  although  the 
later  installments  were  not  promptly  paid,  they 
all  finally  were  and  from  the  proceeds  of  unexpected 
engagements,  quite  foreign  to  my  profession  or  to 
my  previous  public  interests.  For  example;  one 
installment  was  paid  by  the  fee  received  for  a  mag- 
azine article  on  "Music  as  a  Factor  of  Education," 
and  another  by  an  article  on  "Modern  Mechanical 
Music"  (such  as  is  furnished  by  the  pianola,  etc.). 


CHAPTER  VII 

MASTERS  UNMAKE  AND  BEGIN  REMAKING  PHYSICAL 

ORGANISM.      EATS  AND  SLEEPS  LITTLE,  BUT 

GROWS  CONSTANTLY  STRONGER 

AS  I  CONSIDERED  the  experiences  of  the 
month,  I  realized  that  my  perceptions  had  been 
sharpened  on  the  Physical  as  well  as  on  the  Etheric 
Plane,  The  proof  of  this  improvement  on  the  lat- 
ter rested  chiefly  in  my  clear  differentiation  of  the 
following  methods  of  receiving  communications 
which  constitute  an  ascending  series: 

(a)  Dictations  transmitted  by  my  husband, — 1st, 
through  his  use  of  my  hand;  2nd,  through  the  di- 
rect influence  of  his  mind  on  mine — my  hand  in 
this  case  being  guided  by  my  own  mind. 

(b)  Dictations  made  directly  to  me  by  my  help- 
ers,— ist,  by  their  guidance  of  my  hand;  2nd,  by 
their  felt  guidance  of  my  mind. 

Pere  Conde's  first  long  letter  communicated  in- 
dependent of  my  husband's  aid  (except  as  he 
was  always  present  to  assist  the  magnetic  condi- 
tions) seemed  to  have  been  suggested  by  complaints 
I  had  made  to  my  husband  which  he  had  evidently 
overheard.  Of  the  major  part  of  this  letter  in 
French,  dated  September  first,  I  give  a  translation. 

"My  child,  you  ought  to  have  a  peculiar  sensa- 
tion for  you  are  permitted  to  have  an  exceptional 

167 


168    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

experience;  now  I  beg  you  to  listen  to  me  while  I 
make  an  important  communication  regarding  your 
health. 

"In  these  days  you  are  experiencing  extraordi- 
nary conditions  and  you  ought  to  follow  an  equally 
extraordinary  method  of  life.  It  is  necessary  that 
you  eat  very  little  and  that  you  sleep  very  pro- 
foundly during  the  few  hours  when  sleep  can  be 
permitted.  We  desire  to  fill  you  with  magnetisms. 
The  other  evening  when  your  friend  was  here  we 
made  a  good  beginning,  but  to  complete  this  task 
we  must  have  the  best  possible  conditions;  your 
body  must  become  as  supple  and  soft  as  that  of  an 
infant  while  your  muscles  become  as  strong  as  those 
of  an  athlete.  We  are  working  to  unmake  you  and 
to  remake  you — and  that  we  may  unmake  you  it 
is  necessary  that  you  fast  much  of  the  time." 

To  my  protest  that  it  would  be  utterly  impossible 
for  me  to  be  more  abstemious  than  I  had  already 
become  and  continue  to  work  at  all,  the  Pere 
replied : 

"I  assure  you  that  if  my  advice  should  be  per- 
fectly followed  you  would  find  your  body  growing 
perceptibly  stronger  and  your  mind  becoming  clear- 
er from  day  to  day." 

I  urged  that  I  was  surrounded  by  friends  and 
should  soon  be  in  daily  association  with  colleagues 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     169 

who  would  watch  me  closely,  and  that  I  could  not 
fast  without  exciting  comment. 

"You  are  correct  in  thinking  that  it  is  better  to 
excite  the  curiosity  of  no  one  unnecessarily;  conse- 
quently I  shall  permit  you  to  eat  all  you  wish  when 
you  dine  with  your  niece  this  evening;  but  from 
this  time  until  the  beginning  of  your  school,  dis- 
continue the  early  breakfast;  and  for  the  second 
breakfast  take  the  same  kinds  of  food  which  you 
have  been  accustomed  to  take  for  your  first  but  not 
nearly  so  much.  At  dinner  eat  moderately — only 
vegetables  and  fruits — no  bread  and  no  desserts  ex- 
cept fruit." 

I  expressed  fear  lest  my  strength  might  be  re- 
duced by  so  slim  a  diet. 

"You  have  no  need  to  fear.  You  are  not  so 
strong  as  you  must  become;  but  strength  will  come 
after  the  elements  of  your  body  are  changed.  You 
must  continue  your  baths ;  and  you  must  take  much 
exercise  under  the  direction  of  the  energetic  Mas- 
ter; walk  daily  in  the  open  air;  and  when  in  the 
house  remain  in  your  own  room  as  much  as  possi- 
ble clad  in  the  lightest  garments;  this  is  very  im- 
portant; you  must  also  habituate  yourself  to  deep 
breathing. 

"The  task  of  bringing  your  health  to  a  condition 
of  absolute  perfection  is  very  important  and — not 


1 70    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

so  difficult  You  have  by  nature  a  well  built  body 
not  but  its  present  condition  must  be  enormously 
improved.  You  will  become  more  sensitive  in  all 
respects;  hence  more  sensitive  to  pain,  but  you  will 
also  be  much  stronger.  Your  nerves  will  be  like 
iron  and  such  healthy  nerves  never  suffer." 

I  remarked :  "Strength  is  derived  from  food,  and 
I  must  have  food." 

"You  are  right ;  but  now  for  a  season  you  should 
be  relatively  abstinent;  after  this  is  over  you  will 
never  desire  the  same  food  that  you  have  hitherto 
taken;  you  will  again  enjoy  a  generous  diet;  but  for 
a  few  weeks  it  is  necessary  to  guard  you  at  every 
point;  for  the  task  of  your  restoration  is  enormous." 

Again  incredulity  assailed  me,  and  the  fears  I 
expressed  as  Pere  Conde  enumerated  the  specific 
improvements  in  my  condition  which  he  had  under- 
taken to  secure,  may  be  inferred  from  his  reply: 

"No,  these  thoughts  that  I  have  communicated 
are  mine,  not  yours.  You  imagine  neither  them 
nor  me.  They  are  facts.  I  am  a  man  of  experience, 
and  I  assure  you  that  I  am  astonished  when  I  con- 
sider what  is  being  done  for  you  and  my  part  in  it. 
You  are  my  patient;  and  I?  I  am  your  physician, 
and  at  the  same  time  your  nurse.  You  have  been 
very  obedient;  and  already  you  are  much  better. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     171 

"As  your  priest,  every  night,  every  morning  and 
many  times  each  day,  I  pray  for  you  and  with  you. 
.  .  .  Now  I  bless  you  and  you  can  give  your 
attention  to  Rubinstein." 

From  the  Pere's  second  direct  letter,  dated  Sep- 
tember second,  I  quote  only  the  most  important 
paragraphs : 

"Eat  nothing  at  present  that  is  matured  below 
the  ground.  Every  morsel  of  such  food  that  you 
eat  retards  your  progress.  Your  progress  in  spirit- 
ual knowledge  is  your  present  most  important  in- 
terest. .  .  . 

"You  have  need  of  as  much  magnetism  as  you 
tan  retain  and  the  flow  of  etheric  magnetism  into 
your  body  is  impeded  by  dark  clothing  which  is  a 
non-conductor  of  such  magnetism  and  by  heavy  gar- 
ments even  although  white." 

I  expressed  anxiety  lest  I  should  take  cold  if 
I  sat  so  lightly  clothed. 

"It  is  impossible  for  you  to  take  cold  while  we 
are  giving  you  these  magnetisms.  Perfect  health 
is  an  indispensable  condition  for  your  success  in 
the  double  task  of  securing  clear  perception  and 
music.  These  you  will  have  if  you  have  the 
strength  to  resist  the  temptations  of  the  flesh.  This 


172 

is  the  sole  reason  why  I  have  undertaken  to  give 
you  these  counsels  from  day  to  day.  You  must 
sleep  undisturbed  by  anxieties  and  I  undertake  to 
give  you  calm,  sound  slumber." 

Pere  Conde  confirmed  my  husband's  assurances 
that  this  was  a  most  important  day,  dating  my 
birth  into  a  higher  plane  of  consciousness.  Pere 
Conde  urged  abstinence  as  a  condition  of  this  event, 
and  said  that  he  had  an  army  of  over  one  thousand 
people  generating  magnetism  for  me. 

"This  magnetism  is  being  poured  out  upon  you ; 
you  will  be  bathed  in  it;  transformed  by  it." 

September  fourth  the  Pere  wrote : 

"The  magnetisms  that  we  are  giving  you  contain 
all  the  elements  of  your  body  but  so  well  blended 
that  their  resultant  is  the  essence  of  life  itself;  that 
is  to  say  of  vitality;  and  while  you  take  these  you 
have  no  need  of  the  same  quantities  of  food  that 
you  have  ordinarily  taken — if  you  will  eat  very, 
very  little  during  next  week  you  will  find  yourself 
much  more  open  to  the  influence  of  these  invisible 
(«.  e.,  to  the  physical  vision  invisible)  beings  who 
surround  you.  I  desire  to  instruct  you  in  the  laws  of 
health  as  well  as  to  restore  you  to  its  state — be- 
cause it  is  necessary  for  you  not  only  to  become 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR.  SLEEPING     173 

well  but  to  become  very  vigorous,  and  to  remain 
so." 

On  September  eleventh  Pere  Conde  directed  me 
to  drop  breakfasts  entirely  until  after  the  opening 
of  the  Classical  School  on  September  seventeenth. 
From  the  way  in  which  this  order  was  given  I  in- 
ferred that  after  that  date  breakfasts  would  be  re- 
sumed. Instead  of  this,  however,  on  September 
eighteenth,  I  was  directed  to  drop  luncheons  also. 
I  dined  daily  (the  kinds  and  quantities  of  foods  to 
be  taken  being  definitely  prescribed)  until  October 
tenth,  when  I  was  directed  thereafter  until  further 
orders  to  dine  only  on  alternate  days,  Tuesdays, 
Thursdays  and  Saturdays  being  specified;  and  to 
take  no  other  food  between  dinners. 

During  this  time  and  throughout  the  subsequent 
months  of  what  I  call  my  "fast,"  Sunday  was  a. 
feast  day;  i.  e.,  on  each  Sunday  I  was  directed  to 
take  three  meals;  each  definitely  prescribed  and,  in 
comparison  with  what  I  had  been  accustomed  to, 
very  spare  repasts. 

From  September  eleventh  Pere  Conde  met  me 
every  morning  in  my  own  room  immediately  upon 
my  going  thither  which  was  never  earlier  than  half 
past  nine  o'clock,  nor  later  than  half  past  ten.  Up 
to  that  hour  I  worked  in  my  office  preparing  for  the 
next  day's  class-room  requirements.  To  nine-thirty 
I  was  subject  to  interruption  by  any  residence  pupil 
who  desired  to  see  me. 


174    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

By  saying  "Pere  Conde  met  me,"  I  mean  that 
from  September  eleventh  as  soon  as  I  seated  my- 
self at  my  writing  table  in  my  chamber,  Pere  Conde 
placed  himself  at  my  left  hand;  his  head  and  face 
were  clearly  visible,  but  his  figure  though  some- 
times dimly  outlined,  was  usually  quite  concealed. 
I  took  his  book  and  pencil  and  wrote  at  his  careful 
verbal  dictation  the  directions  for  my  physical  care 
during  the  next  twenty-four  hours.  These  direc- 
tions concerned  food,  drink,  exercise,  baths,  massage 
and  sleep ;  and  they  invariably  concluded  with  an  ex- 
hortation to  prayer.  Pere  Conde  presented  a  noble 
head  topped  with  a  skull-cap  of  the  kind  worn  by 
priests  to  cover  the  tonsure.  His  face  was  very 
intellectual  and  refined ;  his  ordinarily  grave  expres- 
sion was  occasionally  softened  by  a  smile.  If  I 
made  a  mistake  in  recording  his  directions,  he 
would  correct  it  instantly  and  with  a  precise  care. 
During  the  first  month  of  my  formal  fast  his  com- 
munications were  always  in  French  and  usually 
limited  to  the  subjects  above  indicated.  Sometimes 
at  the  conclusion  of  the  prescription  there  would 
be  added  a  paragraph  of  explanation  or  encourage- 
ment. The  latter  consisted  of  assurances  that  I 
should  never  be  requested  or  induced  to  do  anything 
that  would  not  contribute  to  my  well  being;  united 
with  promises  that  the  nutrition  which  I  sacrificed 
by  abstemiousness  should  be  more  than  supplied  by 
magnetisms  generated  expressly  to  meet  my  exact 
needs. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR -SLEEPING    '175 

All  communications  from  Pere  Conde  concerning1 
other  matters  during  this  first  month  came  through 
my  husband  who  was  present  during  the  Pere's 
visits,  and  from  whom  at  the  end  of  the  first  month, 
i.  e.,  on  October  eleventh,  I  learned  that  the  Pere, 
having  now  concluded  his  general  observation  of 
me,  would  the  next  day  proceed  to  a  professional 
examination  and  report  its  results. 

From  the  long  letter  received  directly  from  Pere 
Conde  October  twelfth,  I  quote: 

"I  have  to-day  examined  your  body ;  not  only  its 
parts,  members  and  interior  organs  as  they  appear 
when  united  in  your  fleshly  mantle — but  as  these 
would  appear  were  your  body  dissected,  and  I  find 
it  sound  throughout;  somewhat  time-stained  and 
here  and  there  scarred  by  some  labor  or  accident, 
but  on  the  whole  sound." 

This  was  good  news  indeed,,  and  I,  always  im- 
patient of  being  ill  and  eager  to  prove  the  doctors 
and  the  chemist  in  the  wrong  in  their  diagnosis, 
said:  "Then  I  never  have  had  that  disease!"  but 
Pere  Conde  restrained  me: 

"All  of  the  statements  and  the  fears  of  the  phy- 
sicians and  the  chemists  were  more  than  well  found- 
ed. You  were  filled  with  poison:  your  system  is 
still  charged  with  poison,  but  by  the  regimen  fol- 
lowed for  two  months  now,  a  regimen  which  you 


176    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

can  support  only  because  of  the  steady  supplies  of 
magnetism  that  are  generated  for  you,  you  have 
arrived  at  a  point  where  I  can  predicate  soundness. 
Your  ability  to  bear  the  regimen  and  to  appropriate 
safely  these  powerful  magnetisms  has  been  test- 
ed,— to  this  is  due  your  progress  to  this  date.  Medi- 
cine as  ordinarily  practised  on  earth  is  an  attempt 
to  prevent  consequences  from  following  certain 
wrong  actions  and  habits  of  life.  Your  progress 
will  be  proportioned  with  mathematical  nicety  to 
your  efforts  to  cease  from  such  actions  and  to 
change  such  habits.  In  proportion  to  these  and  to 
your  capacity  to  absorb  and  assimilate  them  you 
will  receive  a  great  access  of  magnetisms;  magnet- 
isms will  flow  in  uninterrupted  streams." 

On  October  eighteenth  I  was  told  by  Pere  Conde 
to  record  his  statement  that  he  should  not  much 
longer  dictate  words  to  my  mind,  only  ideas ;  knowl- 
edge which  I  should  record  in  my  own  phraseology 
in  French.  I  was  incredulous;  protesting  that  the 
subject  was  new,  the  ideas  foreign  to  my  mind  and 
to  my  experience;  but  he  assured  me  that  he  had 
'determined  on  this  plan  and  that  I  would  find 
myself  able  to  cooperate  with  him  in  its  execution. 
He  added  that  he  should  always  reserve  the  liberty 
to  change  his  orders  suddenly  and  without  notice; 
adding : 

"This  will  finally  cure  your  skepticism  because 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  'SLEEPING     177 

it  will  give  you  a  continuous  series  of  proofs  that 
my  thoughts  are  not  your  thoughts ;  i.  e.,  that  these 
directions  do  not  proceed  from  your  mind.  I  prom- 
ise you  that  you  will  attain  a  remarkable  health  and 
ultimately  complete  control  of  your  body." 

To  my  great  satisfaction  with  this  promise  the 
Pere  replied : 

"You  desire  the  end;  but  to  this  end  it  is  neces- 
sary that  you  gain  the  ability  to  subsist  without  a 
morsel  of  nourishment  except  water  during  an 
entire  week  and  that  during  that  time  you  work  con- 
tinuously. Now  I  recede  to  give  place  to  Rubin- 
stein, whose  intention  it  is  to  continue  his  instruc- 
tions two  hours  this  night." 

At  this  time  I  was  greatly  disappointed  by  the 
fact  that  my  husband's  letters  became  few  and  brief. 
On  asking  Pere  Conde  for  the  explanation  of  this 
which  my  husband  declined  to  give,  he  told  me  that 
the  latter  had  fixed  his  desire  on  oral  communica- 
tion and  that  he  would  thenceforth  as  he  had  him- 
self previously  told  me,  write  only  what  he  wished 
recorded  with  verbal  exactness;  that  personal  con- 
versations with  him  would  be  by  exchange  of  im- 
pressions and  of  spoken  words;  the  latter  "being 
addressed  to  my  outer  ear,  through  my  inner  ear,  a 
procedure  reversing  the  ordinary  method."  Pere 
Conde,  moreover,  told  me  that  my  husband's  con- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 


tinuous  efforts  to  secure  this  had  fatigued  him  much 
more  than  my  own  new  mode  of  life  had  exhausted 
me. 

I  asked  Pere  Conde  to  give  me  directions  about 
food  for  a  longer  time  in  advance  as  I  felt  that  such 
knowledge  would  enable  me  to  fortify  my  mind  to 
endurance. 

"I  can  just  now  give  you  directions  for  food  only 
for  the  next  twenty-four  hours;  but  as  to  some 
other  matters  my  vision  is  clearer  and  my  directions 
will  cover  a  longer  period.  There  must  be  provi- 
sion for  more  prayer,  for  fasting  and  prayer  go 
always  together;  and  without  the  latter  the  former 
will  be  fruitless  of  its  best  results.  'Pray  without 
ceasing,'  i.  e.,  let  your  heart  be  fixed  on  the  source 
of  strength  and  strength  will  come." 

At  the  beginning  of  November  the  nights  grew 
cool,  and  in  the  gossamer  clothing  which  I  was 
directed  to  wear  during  dictations,  lessons,  exercises, 
etc.,  I  felt  chilled  and  fearing  the  effect,  I  asked 
permission  to  wear  heavier  clothing. 

"We  wish  your  only  warmth  to  be  that  which 
flows  from  the  center  of  vitality.  It  is  the  fear 
of  cold  of  which  you  must  be  cured." 

At  about  the  same  period  I  petitioned  for  a  little 
food.  In  granting  permission  Pere  Conde  said  : 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    179 

"I  shall,  however,  at  the  same  time  suppress  your 
appetite  so  that  you  may  eat  it  without  pleasure. 
You  have  really  been  ill  a  long  time  without  know- 
ing it ;  you  have  in  the  language  of  your  physicians 
on  earth  not  only  the  'incurable'  disease  which  they 
diagnosed,  but  you  have  another  equally  'incurable' 
by  their  methods,  that  you  know  as  catarrh,  which 
is  debilitating  and  which  is  one  cause  of  your  poor 
eyesight.  These  and  other  disorders  are  the  results 
of  long  years  of  overwork,  anxiety,  wrong  habits 
in  respect  to  diet,  neglect  of  exercise  and  of  other 
forms  of  personal  neglect — these  results  are  all 

through  your  system  in  a  diffused  poison, 

whose  presence  is  manifested  at  certain  centers  of 
the  body — not  only  in  this  disease  which  condemned 
you  to  die — but  in  periodically  recurrent  attacks  of 
what  you  call  la  grippe  and  nervous  headache.  The 
accumulated  poisons  causing  these  disorders  must 
be  expelled" 

What  interested  me  most  in  the  foregoing  para- 
graph was  the  intimation  that  my  sadly  impaired 
eyesight  was  due  to  catarrhal  conditions;  and  I 
asked  if  my  eyes  would  ever  be  improved. 

"Certainly.  With  health  will  come  vision.  We 
are  working  for  vision." 

On  November  first  Pere  Conde  directed  me  to  eat 
nothing  for  three  days.  I  felt  this  hard  and  on 
November  second  he  wrote : 


180    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

"The  way  before  you  is  long,  narrow  and  difficult. 
My  task  is  to  help  you  conquer  the  weakness  of  the 
flesh." 

Early  in  November,  before  the  eleventh,  which 
in  each  month  indicated  some  departure,  I  seemed 
to  sense  the  approach  of  new  influences;  these  dis- 
turbed me;  concentration  was  difficult;  and  the 
Pere  rinding  it  impossible  to  cause  me  to  write  cor- 
rectly in  French  thus  summed  up  my  duties: 

"You  must  receive  instruction  in  French,  in  music 
and  in  the  culture  and  training  of  every  member  of 
your  body,  three  labors  almost  equally  difficult;  but 
the  music  of  which  you  know  nothing  depends  ab- 
solutely upon,  or  perhaps  it  were  better  to  say  it 
includes,  the  bodily  exercises;  for  a  perfectly  har- 
monious body  conditions  the  music  for  which  you 
are  in  training." 

Again  and  again  in  terminating  a  lesson  which  in- 
variably included  a  prescription  of  the  specific  char- 
acter already  described,  Pere  Conde  urged  me  to 
the  most  perfect  obedience  to  Rubinstein,  repeatedly 
declaring : 

"I  long  for  his  success  as  for  mine;  for  his  suc- 
cess will  be  a  proof  of  mine  and  of  much  more." 

Another  evening  prior  to  November  eleventh, 
having  finished  a  letter  from  Pere  Conde,  I  asked 
him  if  it  would  not  help  me  and  make  me  more  ac- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    i8r 

cessible  to  the  influences  proceeding  from  the  Eth- 
eric  Plane  and  to  the  instructions  of  my  various 
masters  on  the  Etheric  and  on  higher  Planes,  should 
I  read  some  books  of  experienced  psychics.  I  con- 
fessed that  I  had  never  read  such  books ;  that  I  had 
never  found  literature  dealing  with  psychism  or 
with  any  form  of  occultism  attractive;  but  that  I 
was  now  ready  to  read  anything  that  he  should 
recommend. 

"Both  your  husband  and  I  know  that  you  are  un- 
familiar with  these  subjects  and  we  are  glad  of  it. 
We  both  know  that  you  have  felt  an  instinctive  re- 
coil from  such  literature  and  that  it  has  cost  you 
nothing  to  obey  your  husband's  request  to  abstain 
entirely  from  reading  spiritualist  and  psychic  re- 
search publications.  Now  I  may  tell  you  that  the 
spirit  of  antagonism  to  these  matters  which  you 
entertained  prior  to  your  own  experiences,  and  the 
spirit  of  indifference  to  other  people's  experiences 
which  you  still  have,  have  been  induced  by  your 
original  guides,  who,  at  least  from  your  birth  into 
this  period  of  earth  life,  knew  that  this  attitude 
which  is  quite  foreign  to  your  real  nature  and  in- 
consistent with  your  habitual  open-mindedness  and 
readiness  to  read  in  all  lines,  would  make  the  inde- 
pendent experiences  which  they  knew  were  reserved 
for  you  more  valuable." 

After  some  conversation  on  this,  to  me,  quite  new 
aspect  of  the  causes  of  my  attitude  which  had  often 


18*    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

seemed  singular  and  contradictory  to  myself,  the 
Pere  added : 

"After  your  physical  recuperation  has  been  ex- 
perienced and  perfected,  this  will  lead  to  other  still 
more  interesting  experiences.  These  you  will  de- 
scribe, and  the  book  thus  produced  will  be  more 
fresh  and  more  instructive  if  you  read  nothing  until 
after  you  have  written  it." 

As  November  eleventh  approached,  Pere  Conde 
indicated  the  change  which  would  mark  the  begin- 
ning of  another  month  thus : 

"Now,  we  three,  your  husband,  Rubinstein  and 
I  have  united  our  magnetism  in  a  very  vitalizing 
compound  whose  influence  you  may  describe  to  me 
when  you  first  perceive  it." 

My  description  was  accompanied  by  illustrations 
in  exercises  performed  in  response  to  impulse.  I 
had  been  informed  that  such  exercises  would  be 
probably  somewhat  erratic  and  surprising,  but  those 
directing  my  movements  promised  that  no  one 
should  be  permitted  which  was  either  inexplicable 
or  unnecessary  for  the  purpose  in  hand. 

I  was  sometimes  kept  working  so  continuously, 
and  under  such  strain  that  I  dropped  into  a  sound 
sleep  just  where  I  chanced  to  be,  sitting  or  stand- 
ing as  the  case  might  be;  and  when  I  awoke  in 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     183 

either  position,  refreshed  and  eager  to  resume  ex- 
ercises that  were  so  vitalizing,  it  was  always  with 
a  distinct  consciousness  or  recollection  of  my  period 
of  repose  and  of  the  sensation  of  exhaustion  that 
had  preceded  it. 

On  one  of  these  occasions  Pere  Conde  told  me 
that  I  had  been  kept  awake  and  at  work  "to  the 
danger  point  of  fatigue  but  not  beyond  it" ;  that 
each  such  severe  test  of  my  endurance  would  in- 
crease this  quality;  and  that  the  immediate  proof  of 
this  was  that  I  should  go  through  the  work  of  the 
following  day  and  the  exercises,  instructions  and 
labors  of  the  succeeding  night  "uninterruptedly  ac- 
tive for  twenty-four  hours  with  my  sense  of  fa- 
tigue." A  statement  that  was  perfectly  realized. 

On  November  eleventh  I  begged  Pere  Conde  to 
tell  me  the  length  of  my  fast. 

"I  do  not  myself  know;  but  I  know  it  will  be 
shorter  or  longer  according  to  the  degree  of  your 
obedience  to  the  smallest  detail  of  my  prescriptions. 
There  is  no  caprice  in  my  instructions;  only  a  per- 
fect knowledge  of  the  condition  of  your  entire  or- 
ganism and  of  its  need  in  every  part." 

I  had  experienced  so  many  interior  premonitions 
of  an  impending  change  that  when  the  eleventh 
passed  unmarked  by  any  new  experience,  I  was  dis- 
appointed. On  November  twelfth,  as  I  was  record- 
ing Pere  Conde's  directions  in  the  usual  manner, 


184    NEITHER  DE£D  NOR  SLEEPING 

I  became  suddenly  conscious  that  the  dictation  had 
ceased  and  that  my  writing  was  continuing;  that 
I  was  in  fact  recording  a  prescription  which  seemed 
to  proceed  from  my  own  mind.  Instantly  dropping 
the  pencil  I  told  Pere  Conde  what  had  happened. 
His  reply  was  that  he  and  his  most  intimate  helpers 
were  aware  of  this ;  that  it  was  a  goal  toward  which 
they  had  directed  their  efforts;  that  it  meant  that 
I  had  attained  a  receptivity  which  would  make  me 
quite  accessible  to  their  directions  without  the  use 
of  words;  and  he  reminded  me  that  he  had  advised 
me  of  this  goal  in  October. 

The  next  evening  Pere  Conde  told  me  that  hav- 
ing given  proof  of  my  comprehension  of  the  situa- 
tion and  of  my  ability  to  receive  from  their  minds 
directly,  the  responsibility  would  now  be  shared  by 
me,  and  the  restraint  which  my  teachers  had  thus 
far  exercised  for  me  must  henceforth  be  exerted 
by  my  own  will. 

Early  in  November  I  had  begun  to  have  a  per- 
ception of  rich  and  delicate  perfumes  quite  new  to 
me.  Of  this  I  spoke  to  no  one.  By  November 
twelfth  these  had  become  very  strong,  and  having 
failed  by  repeated  inspection  of  my  external  sur- 
roundings to  discover  their  source,  I  described  them 
as  clearly  as  possible  and  asked  for  their  identifi- 
cation. 

Pere  Conde  explained  that  one  proceeded  from 
a  magnetism  supplied  by  my  husband  which  was 
an  equivalent  for  food;  that  the  other  accompanied 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    185 

a  magnetism  furnished  by  himself  which  was  the 
substitute  for  repose,  and  that  it  was  the  regularly 
increasing  supply  of  these  which  explained  my  di- 
minishing need  of  food  and  sleep. 

I  was  assured  that  by  the  conscious  use  of  these 
and  other  magnetisms  which  in  due  time  would  be 
generated,  administered  and  explained  in  turn,  I 
should  acquire  "eyes  that  see"  and  "ears  that  hear," 
and  that  I  might  by  intelligent  use  of  these  attain  a 
state  of  mind  wherein  I  should  "be  able  to  discern 
the  co-existence  of  events."  I  demanded  an  ex- 
planation of  this  curious  phrase  and  was  told : 

"This  means  that  all  events  already  are — but 
not  yet  precipitated  into  Time." 

The  Pere  added: 

"When  these  powers  are  possessed  and  under 
control  of  your  own  will,  you  will  receive  new  tests ; 
for  the  labors  demanded  of  you  in  this  task  of 
rehabilitation  in  health  will  be  proportioned  to  the 
aid  given  you;  to  the  gifts  bestowed." 

Late  in  November  on  a  Saturday  afternoon,  I  had 
a  half-hour  of  sudden  extreme  weakness;  I  was 
overcome  by  a  terrible  sense  of  exhaustion  accom- 
panied by  a  depressing  fear  that  this  might  be  the 
result  of  my  abstinence;  that  I  might  after  all,  as 
many  of  my  friends  were  insistently  assuring  me, 


186    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

be  injuring  myself  permanently;  in  short  that  I 
might  be  self-deluded.  It  was  a  terrible  half -hour— 
but  it  passed  as  suddenly  as  it  had  come  and  a  half- 
hour  later,  feeling  perfectly  well,  strong  and  buoy- 
ant, I  was  on  my  way  to  Cincinnati — where  I  was 
to  spend  Sunday  with  Madame  Fredin,  the  head 
of  the  Alliance  Francaise  in  that  city,  whose  officers 
I  had  been  invited  to  meet. 

At  my  first  opportunity,  which  did  not  occur  un- 
til Monday  evening,  I  asked  Pere  Conde  to  explain 
the  experience.  He  replied : 

"Record  my  answer;  it  marks  the  end  of  the  first 
half  of  the  disciplinary  period  of  your  fast;  it  was 
a  display  of  what  your  physical  condition  would  be 
at  this  time  without  the  support  of  forces  constant- 
ly generated  and  imparted  by  your  helpers.  This 
condition  was  revealed  to  you  as  a  test  of  your  faith 
in  these  helpers  and  of  your  fixed  determination  to 
persevere  in  the  practises  they  recommend.  You 
bore  the  test.  Now  what  is  to  follow  will  be  much 
more  severe  than  what  has  been  experienced. 

"The  strength  to  sustain  a  long  and  severe  fast 
and  meantime  to  continue  and  to  increase  severe 
labor  does  not  proceed  from  the  plane  called  mortal, 
but  from  the  spiritual  plane;  and  for  one  still  in- 
carnated to  function  even  for  a  few  successive  hours, 
not  to  say  for  a  few  successive  months,  on  this  plane 
it  is  necessary  to  control  the  tongue,  the  thoughts, 
and  to  hold  one's  self  continually  in  an  elevated  at- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOk  SLEEPING     187 

mosphere.     To  do  this  prayer,  devout,  sincere  and 
continuous  is  one  indispensable  factor." 

I  knew  well  that  it  was  in  respect  to  prayer  that 
I  failed  most  frequently  and  conspicuously,  for, 
while  as  a  means  of  securing  the  benefits  of  a  con- 
centrated aspiration  I  had  always  respected  prayer 
and,  under  stress,  had  occasionally  resorted  to  it 
and  had  realized  its  calming  influence,  I  had  never 
recovered  from  the  surprise,  the  definite  shock,  that 
I  had  experienced  on  learning  that  religious  exer- 
cises were,  if  the  expression  may  be  pardoned,  to 
be  a  part  of  my  regimen;  but  such  was  the  fact; 
and  on  December  fourth  Pere  Conde  dictated  for 
record  the  following  which  indicates  the  substance 
of  the  paragraph  with  which  his  nightly  prescrip- 
tions from  this  date  closed: 

"Now  to  your  bath,  which  will  be  followed  by 
the  attention  of  your  masseuse;  then  to  your  physi- 
cal exercises  followed  by  your  lesson  on  the  piano, 
both  under  the  direction  of  your  Master,  Rubin- 
stein. Then,  it  will  probably  be  about  three  o'clock 
of  to-morrow  morning.  Then,  before  you  go  to 
bed  for  a  little  while,  we  shall  together  offer  our 
supplications  that  the  Grace  of  God  may  accompany 
our  labors,  helping  them  to  produce  the  fruits  of 
success." 

On  the  same  date  he  wrote: 


188    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

"Your  vigils  and  fastings  have  only  begun.  Be- 
fore they  are  finished  you  will  pass  many  succes- 
sive nights  without  sleep;  many  successive  days 
without  food.  Henceforth,  every  moment  of  your 
time  when  you  are  not  actually  at  work  in  your  office 
or  your  recitation  room  will  be  used  for  train- 
ing." 

For  the  next  five  months  this  promise  was  ful- 
filled to  the  letter,  and  whenever  I  was  alone  for  a 
moment,  there  came  the  impulse  to  exercise;  usually; 
the  movements  were  unmistakably  dictated  by  Rub- 
instein, a  consciousness  of  whose  vigorous  and  strik- 
ing personality  was  simultaneously  communicated. 
Finger  exercises,  placing  and  exercising  the  shoul- 
ders, arms  and  wrists,  and  the  movements  of  knee, 
ankle  and  foot  in  working  the  pedals  of  the  piano 
were  thus  taught  and  time  was  so  conscientiously 
economized  by  my  helpers  that  frequently  before  the 
door  was  closed  upon  a  retiring  class,  I  was  per- 
forming one  of  these  exercises  in  musical  gym- 
nastics ;  finally  this  Master's  rapport  became  so  per- 
fect that  I  dictated  business  letters  to  my  secretary 
by  the  hour  while  pacing  the  office  floor,  meanwhile 
responding  to  his  silent  but  always  instantly  felt 
commands. 

I  insert  one  example  of  the  Pere's  reproofs,  of 
which  I  regret  being  obliged  to  confess  I  find  more 
than  a  score  in  the  records  of  this  period,  which 
bear  permanent  witness  either  to  a  weak  yielding  to 
appetite  or  to  a  feeble  intelligence,  which  not  grasp- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     189 

ing  the  significance  of  what  seemed  trifling  details, 
disobeyed  through  forgetfulness. 

"December  4th,  1902,  at  3 124  A.  M. 

"This  night  it  is  my  privilege  to  depart  from 
established  habit  and  to  talk  a  little  more  than  I 
ordinarily  do  of  our  relations.  I  find  it  necessary 
to  do  this  because  I  find  you  do  not  understand  why 
it  is  important  for  you  to  obey  my  smallest,  most 
trifling  orders.  Without  doubt  it  seems  to  you  ar- 
bitrary and  ridiculous  that  I  should  decide  on  what 
days  you  may  eat  bread  and  indeed  the  exact  hours 
of  those  days;  but  in  a  very  exact  sense  this  is  not 
arbitrary  for  it  is  not  an  expression  of  my  will  but 
my  interpretation  of  your  duty  if  you  would  obtain  a 
certain  result  which  in  its  turn  becomes  an  indis- 
pensable condition  of  that  physical  restoration  which 
we  have  always  in  view.  .  .  . 

"I  am  a  physician.  It  was  my  principle  role  in 
distant  time,  in  a  country  whose  people  are  cele- 
brated for  brilliance  and  for  splendid  manifesta- 
tions of  power.  I  have  collected  the  experiences  of 
that  epoch  of  my  existence,  have  matured  them  in 
the  light  of  my  experience  on  the  planes  of  life  that 
I  have  known  since  death,  and  of  my  observation 
of  incarnate  humanity  from  this  plane. 

"I  am  the  instrument  appointed  to  help  you  pro- 
cure perfect  health  of  body  which  is  impossible 
without  an  equal  health  of  mind.  It  is  upon  trifles 
that  both  depend.  There  is  no  large  result  that 
(does  not  proceed  from  the  observation  of  trifles, 


190    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

"Now,  what  are  you  to  drink  to-morrow?  At 
the  usual  hour  for  breakfast  three  glasses  of  water, 
very  hot  and  well  salted;  and,  upon  your  return 
from  school  at  noon,  one  cup  of  the  same  tempera- 
ture and  seasoning.  During  the  afternoon  you 
should  drink  two  glasses  of  cold  water,  one  well 
salted,  the  other  without  salt;  after  the  dinner  hour 
drink  two  glasses  of  cold  water  quite  pure,  i.  e., 
without  salt,  without  medication  or  flavor  of  any 
kind. 

"What  shall  you  eat  to-morrow?  Nothing  at 
the  ordinary  breakfast  hour.  When  you  return 
from  school  a  little  bread  with  cheese,  or  bread  and 
a  small  quantity  of  any  one  of  the  fruits  on  your 
permitted  list. 

"For  dinner  you  may  eat  sparingly  of  two  per- 
mitted vegetables,  and  of  a  salad  of  fruit  dressed 
with  oil,  lemon  and  salt.  For  dessert  you  may  have 
either  a  baked  apple  or  a  few  nuts;  but  not  both. 

"These  two  good  meals  are  sufficient  until  Fri- 
day when  probably  you  may  have  a  share  in  the 
dinner.  It  is  now  Monday,  or  rather,  although 
Tuesday  morning  we  reckon  it  as  still  Monday, 
because  your  Monday's  work  is  not  over,  and  to-day 
you  have  had  no  food.  You  think  that  these  two 
slight  meals  on  Tuesday  will  hardly  sustain  you  un- 
til Friday  night  for  the  work  that  is  before  you. 

"I  will  now  once  for  all  renew  a  promise  in  sub- 
stance often  made.  This  promise  holds  good  until, 
in  professional  language,  I  shall  have  'dismissed 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  'SLEEPING     191 

your  case.'  I  will  furnish  you  with  a  force  that  will 
enable  you  to  abstain  from  food  without  difficulty 
and  without  any  sensations  of  weakness  or  distress ; 
with  a  force  more  than  substituting  the  strength  that 
would  under  ordinary  conditions  be  derived  from 
the  ordinary  quantity  of  food.  This  I  shall  supply 
in  exact  proportion  as  by  my  orders  and  by  your 
obedience  to  them,  you  are  deprived  of  ordinary 
nourishment. 

"Now,  do  not  tell  others  a  word  about  this  period 
of  fasting;  you  are  under  the  eyes  of  a  large  house- 
hold of  many  colleagues  and  of  many  keen-eyed 
children.  They  will  all  see  you  wasting  away  from 
day  to  day,  and  your  household  observes  the  cause. 
You  may  be  sure  that  these  do  not  preserve  silence 
about  a  course  and  a  resulting  condition  that  ex- 
cite curiosity  and  occasion  anxiety;  but  if  you  tell 
your  friends  the  particulars  of  your  abstinence  and 
maintain  that  in  spite  of  this  you  feel  perfectly  well 
and  experience  no  weakness,  they  will  be  unable  to 
believe  it;  because  you  can  not  yet  tell  them  how 
in  the  absence  of  food  and  sleep,  nutrition  and 
rest  are  provided.  Thus  your  assertions  will  have 
the  air  of  boasting  and  every  boastful  word  about 
it  must  be  atoned  for  by  discomfort  if  not  by  suffer- 
ing. You  perceive  what  importance  I  attach  to 
trifles." 


CHAPTER  VIII 

UNEXPECTED  AND   SENSATIONAL   INTRODUCTION    OF 

MESMER.      HYPNOTISM, HOW  TO  DETECT  AND 

RESIST  IT.      CURED  OF  INCREDULITY 

THE  preceding  chapters  of  Part  II  cover  the 
first  half  of  the  experience  of  which  I  am 
trying  to  give  an  accurate  history.  During  its  sec- 
ond half,  there  was  much  repetition  of  both  instruc- 
tions and  demonstrations. 

My  husband  continued  to  interpret  what  I  did  not 
understand  as  presented  by  my  other  teachers;  in- 
troduced all  but  one  of  my  new  helpers,  and  dic- 
tated "for  record"  during  the  second  half  of  my 
fast  more  than  two  thousand  pages.  From  these 
I  select  a  few  that  contribute  information,  suggest 
efforts  and  desires,  or  state,  imply  or  assume  facts 
and  principles  not  given  up  to  this  point,  or  which 
to  my  mind  elucidate  those  previously  noted. 

Early  in  December,  in  explanation  of  a  request, 
he  wrote: 

"So  long  as  you  hold  the  pencil  in  your  hand  the 
incredulity  of  the  human  heart  can  resist  the  tes- 
timony and  can  persuade  itself  that  if  what  you 
write  is  not  the  fruit  of  your  own  volition  it  is  at 
least  the  fruit  of  subconsciousness  or  of  the  sub- 
liminal self. 

192 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    193 

"If,  on  the  contrary,  the  paper  He  on  the  table 
in  front  of  you  with  no  pencil  near  it,  and  writing 
appears  on  that  paper,  then  it  will  be  impossible  for 
you  to  think  that  you  produced  it  either  consciously 
or  unconsciously." 

In  this  way  many  of  the  pages  used  in  preparing 
the  rest  of  this  volume  were  produced  before  my 
eyes. 

In  December  I  received  through  the  post  a  letter 
from  the  Buffalo  artist  mentioned  in  Part  I,  en- 
closing a  letter  which  she  thought  had  been  written 
through  her  hand  by  my  husband,  and  which  was 
signed  by  his  name.  The  communication  seemed 
to  me  fraudulent.  My  husband  confirmed  this  im- 
pression saying  he  had  not  written  it,  that  it  had 
been  written  by  Mrs.  B.  herself  under  hypnotic  in*- 
fluence  exerted  from  the  Etheric  Plane.  He  added : 

"I  may  have  been  in  her  atmosphere  a  moment 
for  we  are  interested  in  those  who  at  different  stages 
of  our  groping  to  put  ourselves  into  communication 
with  our  earth  friends  have  helped  us;  just  as  you 
are  interested  in  all  the  mediums  who,  during  the 
last  five  years,  have  served  as  a  path  for  us  to  meet. 
You,  however,  now  would  never  think  of  going  to 
any  one  of  them  unless  it  might  be  to  test  some 
special  communication  received  from  one  of  us.  We, 
who  have  no  need  of  such  tests,  lack  that  motive 


194    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

and  I  shall  never  again  approach  you  through  any 
medium  unless  moved  to  do  so  by  your  desire." 

In  reply  to  my  question  as  to  how  hypnotic  influ- 
ences could  be  detected  and  resisted,  he  replied: 

"The  same  differences  of  ability  as  to  accuracy, 
precision  and  reliability  that  characterize  workers 
in  ordinary  occupations  on  the  Earth  Plane  obtain 
among  those  who  do  these  unusual  kinds  of  work. 
The  body  purified  and  cleansed  by  fasting,  the  mind 
disciplined  by  concentration  and  moved  by  only 
noble  purpose  are  the  sole  guarantees  of  medium- 
istic  reliability.  .  .  . 

"Your  own  facility  in  transmitting  with  perfect 
correctness  tempts  you  to  incredulity  of  your  own 
work.  Your  brain  has  become  so  susceptible  that 
you  do  not  perceive  the  difference  between  recipient 
and  source,  and  you  are  always  creating  incredulity 
of  my  existence  by  thinking  that  my  communications 
originate  in  your  own  mind.  Your  various  masters 
will,  however,  finally  cure  you  of  this  incredulity 
by  your  obedience  to  orders  that  you  will  know 
never  could  have  originated  in  your  desire  or  in 
your  will." 

A  few  days  later  this  cure  of  incredulity  began. 
I  noticed  that  no  sooner  did  I  express  or  even  feel 
a  doubt  of  the  validity  of  some  order,  than  I  found 
myself  doing  the  impossible;  like  suddenly  stand- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     195 

ing  on  one  foot  on  top  of  my  small  writing  table; 
or  leaping  from  the  top  of  one  piece  of  furniture 
to  that  of  another.  I  did  not  like  to  feel  that  any 
power  in  the  universe  could  thus  move  me  like  a 
puppet  and  I  protested;  whereupon  I  was  told  by 
each  of  my  three  chief  helpers  that  if  my  prayers 
were  sincere  these  manifestations  were  not  arbi- 
trarily imposed  but  came  in  direct  obedience  to  my 
will,  for  I  had  repeatedly  prayed  for  indisputable 
evidence  that  thoughts,  words  and  actions  originated 
outside  of  my  own  mind.  This  was  quite  true  and 
this  prayer,  i.  e.,  that  I  might  not  be  misled,  either 
by  skepticism  on  the  one  hand  or  by  credulity  on  the 
other,  I  continued  to  offer. 

Such  experiences  and  the  redemption  of  his  or 
her  promise  by  the  satisfactory  completion  of  the 
task  undertaken  or  by  continued  work  on  it  to  this 
date  (June,  1919),  by  each  of  my  helpers  has  finally 
lifted  these  tutors  out  of  the  realm  of  question,  and 
my  acquaintance  with  these  friends  seems  more  in- 
timate and  reciprocally  comprehending  than  do  my 
relations  with  any  equal  number  of  friends  still  in- 
carnate selected  from  my  entire  list  of  acquaint- 
ances; their  personalities  also  are  more  sharply  dif- 
ferentiated to  my  perceptions. 

Although  the  labors  of  Rubinstein  and  Pere  Con- 
de  constitute  the  chief  subject-matter  of  this  vol- 
ume, these  were  from  the  outset  aided  by  invisible 
generators  of  the  magnetisms  they  required,  and 
in  November  my  husband  introduced  two  women 


196    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

and  two  men  to  each  of  whom  a  definite  service 
in  my  behalf  was  assigned. 

In  January,  1903,  before  entering  on  the  regimen 
of  the  second  half  of  my  fast  (the  severity  of  which 
made  the  first  half  seem  like  indulgence),  and  in 
its  early  stages,  my  staff  of  direct  helpers  received 
nine  accessions  with  each  of  whom  I  thenceforth 
frequently  had  short  interviews,  receiving  from  each 
many  letters  "for  record."  These  friends  were  in- 
troduced separately,  suddenly  and  usually  without 
prior  announcement  of  even  their  existence. 

Their  modes  of  approach  had  only  one  element  in 
common;  when  introduced  I  realized  instantly  that 
he  or  she  had  been  invisibly  helping  me  for  a  long 

time  and  each  seemed  simply  to  advance  from  that 

*  *  \ 

distance  which  had  made  him  invisible,  and  to  come 
within  the  range  of  my  normal  vision.  It  was  on 
the  approach  of  these  friends  that  I  first  realized 
that  the  near-sightedness,  which  is  a  defect  of  my 
physical  vision,  also  characterizes  my  etheric  sight; 
(i.  e.,  my  clairvoyance).  Not  only  am  I  indebted 
to  each  of  these  helpers  for  expert  instruction  in 
some  particular  subject,  but  also  for  some  distinct 
service  on  the  Physical  Plane.  Two  of  these  re- 
tired from  my  acquaintance  at  the  end  of  the  year; 
but  not  until  a  stronger  worker  in  their  department 
had  been  found  for  me.  Three  others  appeared  at 
irregular  intervals  during  the  fourteen  years  that 
followed  their  first  respective  visits;  the  remaining 
four  have  continued  to  come  frequently  and  at  times 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  'SLEEPING     197 

have  given  constant  attendance  for  months.  I  shall, 
however,  introduce  to  my  readers  only  two  of  these 
subordinates;  one  of  whom  came  to  assist  Pere  Con- 
de  directly  and  Rubinstein  incidentally  only;  while 
the  other  was  Rubinstein's  assistant,  the  secondary 
effect  of  whose  services  was  gratefully  acknowl- 
edged by  Pere  Conde.  The  first  of  these  helpers 
is  the  only  one  who  came  unattended,  introducing 
himself;  the  only  one,  too,  who,  in  coming,  ignored 
what  may  be  called  my  reception  hours  for  visitors 
from  the  Etheric  Plane.  This  gentleman  came  on 
January  24th,  1903,  at  10:30  A.  MV  in  my  English 
class  room  at  the  school.  I  was  conducting  a  reci- 
tation. He  stood  at  my  left  side  until  the  class 
was  dismissed  and  then  apparently  realizing  that  I 
had  instantly  recognized  him,  said: 

"Yes,  I  am  Mesmer,  who,  in  his  own  time  was 
by  many  regarded  a  great,  and  by  some,  a  dangerous 
magician,  but  whom  all  the  world  now  knows  as 
a  man  of  science.  The  race  is  now  sufficiently  de- 
veloped to  profit  by  the  science  to  which  my  name 
attaches  and  as  your  mind  is  particularly  open  to 
this  knowledge  and  as  your  body  particularly  needs 
its  application,  I  have  been  asked  to  come  and  to 
stay  with  you  until  your  recovery  is  complete.  The 
care  of  the  membranes  that  envelop  organs  and 
line  passages  and  orifices  is  assigned  to  me." 

Jhis  was  told  me  in  excellent  French  which  fell 


198    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

so  clearly  upon  my  auditory  nerves  that  I  felt  as 
if  my  whole  body  had  become  as  an  ear.  Saying 
that,  although  he  should  probably  be  invisible  to 
all  who  would  enter  my  class  room,  his  presence 
might  embarrass  me  and  he  would  therefore  with- 
draw until  my  morning's  work  was  over,  he  suited 
his  action  to  the  word  and  retired  as  the  door  opened 
to  admit  my  next  class. 

I  do  not  know  that  I  had  ever  seen  a  portrait  of 
Mesmer;  but  I  have  never  seen  any  one  in  the  flesh 
who  has  left  a  clearer  or  more  lasting  impression. 

I  shall  describe  him  as  he  stood  that  half-hour 
by  my  side  as  visible  as  the  young  girls  sitting  be- 
fore me.  A  rather  slight,  very  strong  and  alert 
figure  in  black  clothes  and  gaiters — a  fine,  but  un- 
usually long  head,  a  keen  face  that  seemed  as  alive 
as  a  flame,  black  eyes  and  eyebrows  very  distinctly 
marked ;  open  dilating  nostrils,  gray  hair  in  a  short 
cue  tied  with  a  black  ribbon. 

In  the  many  interviews  I  have  had  with  him  since, 
he  has  been  variously  garbed,  but  this  first  picture 
is  the  one  I  most  vividly  retain,  although  I  can 
compare  his  appearance,  look  and  costume  on  one 
occasion  with  those  worn  at  another,  as  we  all  can 
do  in  the  case  of  an  incarnate  friend. 

I  think  Mesmer's  first  visit  is  the  only  one  I  have 
had  from  advanced  planes  since  I  got  used  to  the 
daily  association  of  Conde  and  Rubinstein,  which 
has  excited  me»  This  did;  I  felt  his  personality  so 
strongly  that  h  conveyed  his  mission  and  although 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING     199 

no  word  relating  to  this  subject  was  uttered,  I  knew 
instantly  that  he  had  come  to  cure  my  catarrh.  In 
his  presence  I  understood  a  recent  instruction  which 
had  been  meaningless. 

"Mediumistic  power  is  entirely  dependent  on  the 
quantity  and  kinds  of  magnetism  that  one  generates 
and  that  one  can  absorb." 

For  the  first  time  I  realized  that  I  was  absorbing 
magnetism  and  also  felt  the  enormous  and  peculiar 
power  to  generate  magnetism  possessed  by  my  visi- 
tor. 

Very  severe  abstinence  had  begun  with  the  new 
year:  i.  e.,  between  Sundays  I  had  but  one  dinner, 
no  other  meal;  and  even  that  was  reduced  both  in 
quantity  and  substance;  and  on  Mesmer's  approach 
I  realized  that  it  was  because  of  these  severe  meas- 
ures that  Conde  needed  his  aid. 

I  will  state  here  what  I  learned  from  Mesmer 
about  magnetism  during  the  next  few  months. 

During  his  earthly  career  he  had  known  magnet- 
ism only  en  masse,  i.  e.,  had  known  only  its  general 
properties  and  powers.  He  had  devoted  himself 
during  his  post-mortem  life  (one  can  hardly  express 
one's  self  on  this  subject  without  apparent  para- 
doxes) to  the  discovery  of  its  myriad  particular 
qualities  and  differentiations;  to  the  production  of 
many  new  species  and  to  devising  new  means  for 
its  generation;  to  the  study  of  its  sources  and  to 


200    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

experiments  in  applications  of  it  for  the  promotion 
of  human  welfare  and  progress. 

As  a  result  of  his  labors  he  had  found  not  only 
that  race  and  nationality  modify  one's  magnetism, 
but  that  to  one  whose  senses  are  fully  awakened 
and  who  is  keenly  conscious  of  their  testimony, 
the  magnetism  generated  by  a  person  will  be  a  more 
accurate  and  reliable  indicator  of  his  nationality 
and  his  remote  racial  origins  than  the  best  kept  rec- 
ords of  a  genealogical  society;  so  that  should  the 
testimony  of  such  records  support  a  claim,  and  the 
odor  of  one's  magnetism  refute  it,  it  is  the  latter 
that  may  be  relied  upon  as  infallible. 

Before  my  catarrhal  difficulty  had  become  con- 
firmed, odors  had  been  to  me  the  occasion  of  the 
keenest  pleasure  or  discomfort,  and  the  pleasure 
in  delicious  perfumes  had  so  greatly  exceeded  the 
irritation  arising  from  disagreeable  ones  that  I  had 
regarded  the  loss  of  this  pleasure  as  the  worst  con- 
sequence of  the  ailment.  Many  of  my  acquaintances 
suffered  varying  degrees  of  this  malady,  and  I  had 
frequently  observed  that  although  on  the  average 
their  olfactory  nerves  seemed  much  more  obtuse 
than  my  own,  generally  they  were  indifferent  to 
the  reduced  keenness  of  the  sense  of  smell,  and  un- 
less subject  to  the  annual  crisis  in  catarrh,  called 
"hay-fever,"  seemed  to  disregard  this  disease.  An- 
nual visitations  of  la  grippe  had  aggravated  my] 
catarrh  to  a  state  which  I  thought  beyond  remedy* 


20 1 


The  perfume  of  that  magnetism  which  substi- 
tutes food  is  very  rich  and  at  the  same  time  deli- 
cate and  exhilarating.  In  weight  or  density  I  com- 
pare it  to  the  perfume  of  the  tuberose,  in  delicacy 
to  that  of  the  white  water-lily;  but  the  third  ele- 
ment in  this  perfume,  which  I  call  exhilaration,  I 
can  compare  to  no  other  fragrance. 

Mesmer  told  me  that  not  only  does  every  mag- 
netism have  its  distinctive  perfume,  but  that  the 
differentiating  quality  of  each  magnetism  expresses 
itself  in  odor;  that  not  only  each  race  and  each  na- 
tion within  a  race  generates  a  distinctive  magnetism, 
but  that  each  individual  thus  announces  that  quality 
which  we  call  personality,  which  separates  each 
from  all  others  of  the  same  nation,  or  of  even  the 
same  family.  Going  further  he  .assured  me  that 
temperament  and  permanent  characteristics  manifest 
in  one's  magnetism,  which  is  also  affected  by  every 
shifting  mood. 

The  perception  of  perfumes  depends  on  the  con- 
dition of  the  mucous  membrane  which  lines  all  the 
passages  of  the  body ;  according  as  it  is  healthy  and 
untorn  will  one  perceive  odors  with  accuracy. 

From  the  first  treatment  administered  by  Mes-« 
mer,  I  experienced  improvement  of  the  conditions 
indicated;  but  quite  apart  from  his  personal  service 
I  have  found  the  society  and  instruction  of  this  sa- 
vant fascinating. 

The  first  week  of  February  was  the  first  total 


202    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

fast  unbroken  by  a  single  meal  between  successive 
Sundays;  and  from  that  time  the  Sunday  repasts 
were  reduced;  exercises  were  increased  in  amount 
and  vigor,  while  sleep  was  reduced  to  a  scant  two 
hours.  Meanwhile  the  assurances  of  my  husband 
that  if  I  should  practise  perfect  obedience  to  Pere 
Conde  and  supplement  obedience  by  prayer,  I  should 
find  myself  sated  without  food  and  rested  without 
sleep,  seemed  justified;  for,  although  this  was  a 
month  of  increased  activity,  I  felt  equal  to  what- 
ever came  and  was  easily  able  to  meet  new  condi- 
tions and  to  do  unusual  tasks. 

I,  however,  observed  that  while  communications 
from  all  others  on  higher  planes  with  whom  I  was 
now  in  touch  increased,  I  was  receiving  fewer  com- 
munications from  my  husband.  Demanding  the  rea- 
son, he  told  me  that  I  was  in  need  of  all  the  mag- 
netism that  could  be  generated  up  to  the  very  limit 
of  my  powers  of  absorption,  which  they  had  not 
yet  reached;  that  our  rapport  was  such  that  his 
effective  ministration  of  magnetism  could  continue 
should  all  communication  between  us  cease;  while 
in  the  case  of  many  others  their  ministrations  of 
magnetism  became  impossible  when  communication 
was  long  suspended. 

One  night  when  I  awakened  from  my  brief  per- 
mitted sleep  I  experienced  a  quite  new  elation,  a 
conscious  vitality,  novel  and  delightful.  I  asked 
for  the  cause  and  was  directed  to  "write  for  rec- 
ord": 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR'  SLEEPING    203 

"Feb.  9th,  1903. 

"You  have  often  asked  me:  'What  is  a  trance?' 
It  was  a  natural  question ;  but  as  I  never  experienced 
one  and  you  have  just  risen  from  your  first  one 
should  I  not  now  ask  you  'What  is  a  trance'?  I 
shall  not  tease;  but  as  well  as  I  can  shall  explain 
the  cause  of  your  elated  state.  A  trance  is  some- 
times defined  to  be  a  deep  sleep.  Some  people  when 
inducing  in  another  the  trance  state,  describe  the 
process  by  the  phrase  'putting  down.'  This  is  em- 
ployed by  those  who  suppose  that  a  trance  removes 
the  soul  from  the  ordinary  to  what  is  called  the 
subliminal  consciousness,  i.  e.,  to  a  consciousness 
sub-normal  instead  of  super-normal;  a  conscious- 
ness in  which  the  soul  is  simply  undisturbed  by  any 
earthly  condition  or  circumstance.  If  this  state  is 
a  trance  at  all,  it  is  the  lowest  form. 

"In  what  your  Masters  call  an  actual,  a  perfect 
trance,  there  is  a  temporary  but  entire  separation 
of  the  soul  from  the  body.  During  such  a  separa- 
tion the  body  gets  an  absolute  repose;  the  only  such 
repose  it  can  ever  know  since  the  body  is  worn  by 
the  tenancy  of  an  active  soul.  It  is  not  so  much 
jcontact  with  externals  that  tires  the  body  as  it  is 
the  agitation  that  it  suffers  from  its  restless,  eager 
tenant. 

"To  a  healthy  body  a  short  trance  is  equal  in 
recuperative  power  to  a  very  long  slumber." 

I  had  been  forced  to  write  this  so  rapidly  that  not 


204    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

until  this  point  could  I  interrupt  with  my  accusa- 
tion : 

"But  you  all  promised  that  I  should  not  be  en- 
tranced; that  I  should  have  all  experiences  con- 
sciously ;  I  would  never  have  believed  you  could  de- 
ceive me !" 

The  reply  in  a  tone  of  grieved  reproach  was : 

"Write  for  record.  We  have  not  deceived  you, 
for  during  this  trance  you  have  had  no  experience. 
We  have  all  watched  your  body  while  it  took  a  rest, 
not  to  be  induced  in  any  other  way,  which  is  in- 
dispensable to  its  bearing  the  regimen  and  the  minis- 
trations which  in  their  turn  are  indispensable  to 
your  recovery  of  health  and  your  achievement  of 
music. 

"So  far  as  objective  results  in  these  and  in  all 
other  directions  are  concerned  we  could  have  gone 
much  more  rapidly  had  the  trance  state  been  allowed 
to  us  by  the  terms  of  our  contract 

"I  have  now  become  convinced  that  the  symmet- 
rical development  which  will  eventuate  on  the  Earth 
Plane  in  health  and  awakened  faculties  must  be  a 
conscious  development ;  i.  e.,  a  development  of  which 
the  soul  is  conscious  on  the  Earth  Plane ;  conscious  of 
each  successive  step  in  each  stage  of  its  progress. 
The  whole  band  of  workers  have  unitedly  and  sin- 
cerely yielded  to  this  plan,  abided  by  it  and  have,  so 
to  speak,  done  everything  under  your  own  eyes;  i.  e.t 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR 'SLEEPING    205 

you  know,  as  far  as  one  still  embodied  in  the  flesh 
can  know,  the  processes,  the  instrumentalities  and 
the  stages  of  physical  recovery  and  of  the  develop- 
ment of  latent  powers.  This  is  the  most  difficult,  la- 
borious and  tedious  of  all  methods;  not  only  for 
those  who  teach  and  minister  to  one,  but  for  the 
pupil  and  patient;  and  in  spite  of  all  our  care,  you 
were  worn  to  the  danger  point  What  else  could 
I  do  but  ask  and  assist  in  securing  the  trance  that 
would  so  rest  your  body  as  to  give  it  the  sense  of 
buoyance  that  you  find  so  delightful? 

"No  one  of  us  now  wishes  to  entrance  you  while 
at  work  with  you  or  while  you  are  doing  any- 
thing under  our  direction,  but,  now  having  had  this 
experience  of  one  trance  for  repose  only,  your  band 
under  the  direction  of  Pere  Conde,  himself,  always 
guided  by  his  exalted  superior,  wish  with  your  per- 
mission to  accustom  you  to  this  substitute  of  trance 
for  slumber  and  thereby  to  lengthen  your  working 
day  to  twenty-three  hours.  Now,  being  acquainted 
with  a  trance  and  with  this  full  knowledge  of  our 
desires,  we  shall  hereafter  notify  you  when  we 
think  you  need  a  trance  for  repose  only,  and  we 
shall  abide  by  your  decision,  but  we  believe  you  will 
permit  it." 

I  was  told  that  although  the  trance  had  been  per- 
fect, it  was  only  next  to  the  lowest  form  of  perfect 
trance;  the  highest,  being  a  condition  wherein  the 
soul,  to  whatever  plane  removed,  remains  perfectly 


2o6    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

conscious  of  its  experiences  on  any  plane  or  planes 
where  it  has  been  and  by  such  consciousness  brings 
the  planes  of  life  nearer  together. 

On  February  tenth,  I  experienced  by  my  own  de- 
sire another  trance  from  which  instead  of  passing 
into  a  state  of  awakening  after  a  two  hours'  sepa- 
ration from  my  body,  I  passed  into  a  deep  natural 
slumber  which  lasted  three  hours.  Thus  I  obtained 
a  knowledge  clear  and  direct  of  the  difference  be- 
tween trance  and  slumber ;  and  derived  a  restoration 
so  complete  that  it  seemed  to  me  that  I  never  could 
again  be  weary.  This  experience  increased  the 
rapport  with  all  my  helpers. 

Two  days  later,  I  enjoyed  a  reverse  of  this  ex- 
perience, passing  from  a  very  brief  natural  sleep 
into  a  trance  of  an  hour  and  from  the  trance  into 
natural  waking;  with  a  dimly  remembered  percep- 
tion of  each  transition. 

I  was  assured  that  these  experiences  though  rare, 
were  in  strict  accordance  with  law.  This  being  the 
case  it  seemed  singular  to  my  helpers  that  humans 
are  so  slow,  to  learn  the  laws  that  govern  the 
development  of  their  own  being;  the  natural 
laws,  whereby  ante-  and  post-mortem  life  are  con- 
nected. 

On  February  twenty-third,  I  enjoyed  a  striking 
experience  of  clairvoyance. 

I  have  already  described  Pere  Conde  as  from  Sep- 
tember n,  1902,  I  had  to  this  date  nightly  perceived 
him.  Now,  suddenly  I  saw  not  only  his  face  but 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    207 

his  slender  towering  form  in  a  cardinal's  robes  en- 
riched with  the  insignia  of  divers  evidently  exalted 
offices,  which  I  did  not  understand. 

At  this  time  I  received  a  new  definition  of  prayer 
and  also  a  clear  perception  of  its  correctness. 
"Prayer  is  the  recognition,  usually  the  quite  uncon- 
scious, but,  at  best,  a  conscious  and  intelligent  recog- 
nition of  a  universal  natural  law,  viz. :  the  law  of 
demand  and  supply,  which  we  chiefly  hear  discussed 
as  if  limited  to  the  world  of  commerce  and  indus- 
try." 

I  attributed  to  Mesmer  the  increasing  facility 
which  I  was  enjoying  in  all  my  work;  but  I  was 
much  mortified  by  a  sudden  interruption  of  my  com- 
placency by  an  attack  of  la  grippe  whose  annual  seiz- 
ure I  had  confidently  expected  to  escape.  This 
occurred  on  February  twenty-seventh,  and  in  my 
distress  I  really  forgot  my  helpers  until  February 
twenty-eighth,  at  4 :2o  A.  M.,  when  I  called  on 
Mesmer  to  come  and  give  my  throat  a  treatment. 

He  was  instantly  at  my  side  and  dictating  the 
exact  date  as  given  above,  continued  as  follows: 

"You  have  no  right  to  be  ill  like  this.  You  have 
no  right  to  be  ill  at  all.  You  have  a  very  strong 
body  and  now  have  and  long  have  had  the  high- 
est knowledge  and  the  best  advice  that  can  be  trans- 
mitted to  an  incarnate  human  concerning  all  topics 
bound  up  in  the  great  subject  of  hygiene.  You 
ought  at  this  moment  to  be  perfectly  well  but  sq 


208    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

far  as  my  orders  are  concerned  you  have  been  guilty 
of  a  double  disobedience.  You  have  done  what  I 
forbade;  and  have  refused  to  act  on  impulses  com- 
municated by  me  for  the  definite  treatment  of  both 
nose  and  throat." 

Knowing  that  all  he  said  was  true,  I  was  dumb 
with  mortification.  My  silent  acquiescence  in  his 
condemnation  seemed  to  satisfy  him;  he  continued: 

"Now  we  have  attained  a  perfect  rapport  and  I 
think  I  can  give  you  a  magnetism  that  will  cure  you 
entirely  before  eight  o'clock  so  that  you  can  go  to 
school  and  attend  to  all  your  work  with  ease;  but 
to  continue  well,  you  must  be  obedient  to  my  in- 
structions both  of  prohibition  and  command.  A 
dozen  people  are  here  now,  eager  to  write  you,  and 
Rubinstein  whose  work  has  been  interrupted  by 
this  bad  night  must  have  an  hour's  exercises;  so  I 
retire,  but  I  shall  stay  near  you  to  administer  the 
magnetism,  the  promised  effects  of  which  will  be 
rapid." 

I  recovered  almost  instantly;  did  an  unusual 
amount  of  work  that  day  and  not  until  March  first 
had  I  an  opportunity  to  ask  Mesmer  why  he  did  not 
see  my  distress  on  February  twenty-seventh  and 
come  to  me  before  I  called  him.  His  reply  was: 

"Giving  from  this  plane  is  impossible  unless  one 
on  your  plane  is  ready  to  receive.  The  voice  awak- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR*  SLEEPING    209 

ens  vibrations  which  in  turn  strengthen  our  rap- 
port/' 

On  March  third  I  called  Mesmer  and  asked 
whether  the  recent  attack  could  have  been  avoided. 
His  reply  was: 

"It  is  the  privilege  of  Pere  Conde  alone  to  know 
that.  In  my  eyes  it  was  quite  unnecessary ;  but  such 
a  multitude  of  different  conditions  and  interests  en- 
ter into  your  case  that  I  am  quite  unable  to  see  all, 
or  to  understand  all  that  I  see.  Monsieur  Conde 
understands  all  the  conditions  and  he  can  tell  you 
whether  it  would  have  been  possible  for  you  to 
escape  an  attack  full  of  pain  and  also  of  humiliation. 

"An  interruption  like  this  offers  a  good  oppor- 
tunity to  cultivate  faith,  and  faith  bears  the  same 
relation  to  other  spiritual  forces  that  magnetism 
bears  to  other  physical  forces.  Each  is  the  finest 
and  most  powerful  force  on  its  own  plane.  The 
batteries  for  the  generation  of  magnetism  are  in 
the  human  body  whether  we  speak  of  the  physical, 
the  etheric  or  the  celestial  body ;  while  faith  is  gen- 
erated in  the  soul,  instead  of  the  body,  on  all  these 
planes.  Both  these  two  subtle  forces  interpene- 
trate life  on  all  planes  and  each  is  at  its  highest 
efficiency  when  it  meets  and  cooperates  with  the 
other." 

I  was  not  satisfied  with  what  Mesmer  Kad  said 


210    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

of  the  value  of  the  voice  in  aiding  rapport  and  asked 
for  a  further  elucidation  of  his  theory. 

"It  starts  vibrations  in  your  atmosphere  which 
move  ours  and  also  it  gives  us  a  sense  of  your  faith 
in  us;  and  faith  of  one  in  any  other  increases  that 
other's  power." 

When  Mesmer  retired,  Pere  Conde  came  and  ex- 
pressed his  satisfaction  in  my  revived  courage.  The 
attack  of  la  grippe  had  been  not  only  physically  de- 
bilitating but  it  had  been  a  great  moral  shock.  As 
an  exhibit  of  Pere  Conde's  tenderness  and  wis- 
dom, I  reproduce  his  brief  letter : 

"All  incarnate  humans  are  very  feeble  and  per- 
haps I  have  expected  more  than  it  is  possible  for 
you  to  be  or  to  do.  I  know  that  all  you  say  of 
the  conditions  is  true;  but  I  also  know  that  the 
divine  purpose  is  never  beaten  by  the  spirit  or  by 
the  conditions  of  a  mortal;  and  without  attempting 
to  convince  you  of  your  ability  to  do  what  you  now 
think  impossible,  I  shall  content  myself  with  your 
good  will  to  do  and  shall  continue  the  task  assigned 
me — which  is  your  perfect  cure;  your  development 
to  all  wellness.  You  wish  me  to  define  that  ?  In  a 
completely  sound  and  healthy  person  there  is  an 
exact  balance  of  powers;  *.  e.,  psychic  and  physical, 
•whether  few  or  many,  whether  large  or  small,  are 
commensurate. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR 'SLEEPING    211 

• 

"Now  to  answer  the  questions  which  Mesmer 
referred  to  me : — There  have  been  three  causes  for 
your  recent  illness  and  depression. 

"First :  You  had  become  too  proud  of  your  suc- 
cess and  had  forgotten  that  all  had  proceeded  from 
the  Grace  of  God.  Second:  On  the  days  when 
food  was  allowed,  although  it  is  true  that  the  ab- 
solute quantity  was  small,  it  was  augmented  in 
effect  by  the  greed  with  which  it  was  taken.  Third : 
You  have  cherished  a  critical  attitude  toward  those 
relatives  and  friends  who  have  criticized  your  pres- 
ent mode  of  life.  Their  criticisms,  in  view  of  their 
ignorance  of  all  the  facts,  are  natural.  Your  secret 
resentment  of  their  criticisms,  in  view  of  your  large 
interior  knowledge  of  the  facts,  is  inexcusable.  It 
was  this  spirit  of  criticism  carried  into  your  rela- 
tions with  Mesmer,  which  led  you  to  violate  his  in- 
structions. Thus  culminated  your  malady.  I  hope 
you  will  now  be  able  to  find  in  hot  water  well  sea- 
soned, alternating  with  cold  water  unseasoned,  a 
sufficing  sustenance.  .  .  . 

"Now  let  fall  from  your  mind  all  thought  of 
food." 

On  December  seventh  my  Husband  had  told  me 
that  unless  he  should  forfeit  it,  it  was  to  be  his 
privilege  to  present  to  me  all  the  persons  whom  I 
am  henceforth  to  know  on  the  Etheric  Plane  be- 
fore I  go  thither,  except  that  occasionally  I 


NEITHER  DESD  NOR  SLEEPING 


sKould  be  asked  to  describe  orally  or  in  writing  per- 
sonalities permitted  to  enter  my  circle  without  in- 
troduction. He  told  me  that  some  of  these,  coming 
only  to  test  my  quickened  perceptions,  would  neither 
linger  nor  return  and  therefore  would  never  be  for- 
mally introduced;  that  as  I  described  them  I  should 
be  told  whenever  I  made  erroneous  statements  con- 
cerning their  aspects  or  qualities.  Several  such 
test  visitors  came  whom  I  described  satisfactorily. 

My  husband  then  said  he  was  about  to  introduce 
two  gentlemen  of  whose  admission  to  my  circle  on 
the  Etheric  Plane  I  had  already  been  informed  by 
both  himself  and  Pere  Conde. 

As  the  test  that  followed  was  the  first  of  the  kind 
applied  to  me,  and  is  one  to  which  I  have  since 
submitted  unnumbered  times  with  success,  I  repro- 
duce my  husband's  exact  words  in  preparing  me 
for  it. 

"The  two  gentlemen  are  here  at  this  moment.  I 
stand  at  your  left  ;  they  stand  at  my  left,  facing  the 
east,  but  looking  at  you.  After  I  introduce  each, 
in  order  to  be  sure  that  you  really  feel  his  presence 
and  his  personality,  I  wish  you  to  describe  him  to 
me,  and  also  to  write  your  description  for  record. 
I  have  the  honor  to  introduce  Mr.  George  Brew- 
ster." 

At  the  utterance  of  the  name  there  was  clearly 
presented  to  my  perceptions,  rather  as  if  he  entered 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    213 

my  consciousness  than  as  if  he  entered  the  room,  a 
gentleman  whom  I  instantly  described  as  follows: 

"I  see  that  Mr.  George  Brewster  is  fair,  one 
might  say  blond;  with  yellow  hair  worn  in  a  cue, 
tied  with  a  black  ribbon;  he  has  shrewd,  blue-gray 
eyes,  clear  and  intelligent;  a  rosy  rather  than  a 
florid  face;  teeth  rather  yellow;  a  long  chin.  He 
has  on  a  blue  coat,  light  rather  than  dark;  a  white 
waistcoat,  rising  above  which  is  a  ruffled  shirt;  it 
seems  to  me  that  the  ruffles  are  not  only  in  the 
bosom  of  the  shirt,  but  they  rise  above  the  neck. 
He  wears  black  knee  breeches,  black  stockings  and 
low  shoes  with  buckles.  I  am  impressed  that  he  is 
dressed  as  he  would  have  been  to  go  to  dinner." 

I  saw  Mr.  Brewster  plainly,  but  I  knew  that  I 
saw  him  directly  with  my  intelligence,  not.  through 
the  agency  of  my  eyes  either  physical  or  etheric. 
My  husband's  comment  was: 

"It  is  a  more  accurate  description  than  your  eyes 
would  be  likely  to  yield  of  any  visitor  on  earth  in 
so  short  a  time.  Mr.  Brewster  feels  much  relieved ; 
he  interprets  this  quick  and  correct  perception  of 
his  personality  to  indicate  that  he  will  be  able  to 
come  very  near  you  and  to  help  you;  there  would 
seem  to  be  no  temperamental  barriers.  Mr.  Brew- 
ster, however,  wishes  me  to  present  his  associate, 
Mr.  Heinrich  Hahn,  before  he  begins  a  conversa- 
tion with  you. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 


"Now,  you  will  kindly  describe  Mr.  Hahn,  that 
we  may  know  whether  you  have  really  perceived 
him  and  received  him  into  your  present  life  as  an 
influence.  I  have  the  pleasure  of  presenting  to  you 
a  very  particular  friend  of  your  benefactor,  Mon- 
sieur le  Pere  Conde,  Mr.  Heinrich  Hahn." 

It  is  unnecessary  to  reproduce  in  detail  my  de- 
scription of  Herr  Hahn  as  he  came  within  my  in- 
telligence. He  was  dark,  had  black  hair  and  eyes 
and  a  Jewish  type  of  countenance,  softened  by  a 
yery  kind  and  friendly,  almost  benevolent,  smile. 

These  two  gentlemen  were  frequently  visitors  for 
two  years  following  their  admission  to  my  circle, 
from  which  they  did  not  retire  until  replaced  by 
one  whom  they,  as  well  as  my  chief  helpers,  re- 
garded more  competent,  or  rather  more  advanced 
in  their  departments  of  service.  I  often  felt  their 
atmosphere  so  strong  and  sustaining  that  I  might 
call  it  solid,  if  solid  magnetism  did  not  seem  like  a 
contradiction  of  terms. 

I  asked  Mesmer  the  value  of  that  magnetism, 
which  seems  to  be  of  no  particular  variety,  L  e., 
which,  as  one  receives  it,  has  neither  flavor,  per- 
fume nor  other  perceptible  quality  which  separates 
it  from  the  all  of  magnetism  that  interpenetrates 
all  ether  even  as  electricity  interpenetrates  all  air. 
He  told  me  that  it  diminished  the  strain  of  my 
mind  and  body  and  that,  because  of  this,  I  could 
turn  off  vast  quantities  of  work  without  exhaus- 


'NEITHER  DEAD  NOR 'SLEEPING    215 

tion.  He  said  my  own  magnetism  was  of  a  very 
sturdy  quality  and  that  I  generated  large  quantities; 
that  by  sustaining  any  one's  own,  with  neutral 
magnetism,  *.  e.,  with  magnetism  generated  on  the 
Etheric  Plane,  unmodified  by  any  purpose  besides 
sustaining  strength,  that  the  productivity  of  one's 
mind  was  increased  and  the  fatigue  of  one's  body 
lessened  in  direct  ratio  to  the  amount  of  the  foreign 
magnetism  appropriated. 

To  what  extent  this  can  be  carried  I  do  not  know, 
but  I  have  been  told  to  far  beyond  the  extreme 
limits  of  my  experience,  and  I  have  worked  literally 
night  and  day  for  months  on  an  average  of  three 
hours  per  twenty-four,  for  repose.  When  suscepti- 
ble to  their  respective  magnetisms,  the  qualities  of 
persons  became  tangible  and  visible;  and  I  realized 
the  significance  of  our  symbolic  language;  "robed 
in  dignity,"  e.  g.,  is  not  a  figure  of  speech.  Dignity 
is  a  protecting  garment  for  whomsoever  it  fits,  i.  e., 
for  any  one  who  generates  a  magnetism  produc- 
ing it. 


SURPRISING    ANSWERS    TO    PRAYERS    WHEN    RUBIN- 
STEIN CONTROLS.      WORKS  WITHOUT  MEAS- 
URING EFFORT 

I 

FROM  the  day  that  the  new  piano  was  placed  in 
my  room,  up  to  September  seventeenth,  exer- 
cises on  it  had  been  dictated  for  from  one  to  three 
hours  each  night.  The  evident  purpose  of  some  of 
these  was  the  magnetism  of  the  instrument;  of 
others  the  harmonization  of  my  organism  with  the 
instrument ;  besides  these  were  finger  exercises  more 
comparable  in  appearance  to  the  ordinary  practise 
of  the  beginner.  From  the  seventeenth,  although 
my  facility  in  the  execution  of  merely  physical  ex- 
ercises was  steadily  increasing,  I  had  experienced  an 
inability  to  respond  with  accustomed  ease  to  the 
{Master's  musical  instruction. 

On  September  thirtieth  my  husband  told  me  that 
(Rubinstein  wished  me  to  provide  a  separate  book 
in  which  to  record  his  independent  instructions. 

From  his  first  formal  letter  I  quote  some  para- 
graphs which  indicate  his  personality,  his  method 
and  his  intentions  respecting  his  novel  task,  and 
also  reveal  his  pupil's  weakness. 

"September  3Oth,  1902. 

"Madam,  I  do  indeed  wish  to  write,  for,  since 
you  ceased  daily  practise  on  the  instrument,  much 

216 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR*  SLEEPING    9x3 

has  accumulated  in  my  mind  that  must  be  dis- 
charged from  it.  You  have  made  a  great  mistake 
to  place  any  one  in  the  room  above  your  own  whom 
you  fear;  but,  the  fear  having  been  aroused,  must 
be  conquered  and  you  must  become  quite  inde- 
pendent of  it. 

"I  must  play  with  your  body — one  might  say  on 
it,  in  it,  through  it,  until  it  is,  at  the  union  of  out 
two  wills,  altogether  mine  as  respects  those  exer- 
cises which  will  harmonize  the  body  and  those  piano 
exercises  which  will  harmonize  the  harmonized  body; 
with  that  instrument 

"It,  your  body,  must  for  these  two  purposes  be  as 
much  the  instrument  of  my  soul  as  was  my  own 
body  when  I  walked  the  earth  clothed  upon  in  mor- 
tal flesh. 

"This  acquisition  of  perfect  occupancy  or  of  per- 
fect direction  requires  severe  regimen,  and  although 
I  hate  to  see  you  fast,  I  know  your  abstinence  must 
yet  be  much  more  continuous  as  well  as  more  com- 
plete. This  regimen  in  respect  to  food  and  drink  I 
leave  to  Conde,  who,  as  physician,  knows  the  theory, 
and,  as  priest,  the  practise  of  abstinence;  but  th% 
exercise  and  the  manipulation  of  members  and  or- 
gans must  be  quite  mine. 

"Every  part,  member,  organ  and  function  of  the 
body  must  be  perfectly  controlled.  This  requires 
severe  labor,  but  while  absolutely  its  severity  will 
increase,  relatively  it  will  diminish  as  the  regimen 
grows  severe,  for  it  is  this  regimen  that  alone  makes 


2i8    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

my  work  possible  to  you.  On  the  other  hand,  my 
work  will  complete  the  work  of  renovation  and 
cleansing;  so,  really,  you,  the  Pere  and  I  are  part- 
ners, and  I  grant  it  is  an  odd  partnership. 

"My  work  will  require  many  hours  of  physical 
exercise  every  night;  and  each  night  I  shall  teach 
you  new  movements;  many  of  them  perhaps  fan- 
tastic, certainly  unprecedented  in  your  experience 
or  observation;  but  only  so  can  your  own  complete 
control  of  your  body  be  secured,  and  your  control  of 
the  piano  proceeds  from  and  depends  on  your  con- 
trol of  your  body." 

Replying  to  my  avowed  pleasure  in  my  conscious 
physical  facility,  the  Master  continued: 

"Yes,  you  are  becoming  more  mobile;  but  you 
still  are  rigid  as  a  rock  compared  to  what  you  must 
become  if  your  work  goes  on. 

"Resist  no  impulse,  however  unexpected,  absurd 
and  silly  it  may  seem.  I  shall  write  no  more  now 
until  at  the  end  of  your  exercises  you  fall  limp  and 
breathless  to  the  floor.  You  will  receive  no  injury 
from  such  falls.  The  sensation  accompanying  such 
a  fall  will  pervade  your  whole  organism  and  will 
be  delicious. 

"I  shall  as  usual  continue  to  hold  the  magnetic 
conditions  while  you  sleep.  You  ask  what  I  intend 
to  do  with  your  body  ?  My  intention  is  to  make  it 
like  wax  that  can  be  poured  into  any  mould;  like 
strings  that  can  be  tied  into  an  infinitude  of  knots." 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR.  SLEEPING    219 

I  questioned  the  Master  respecting  an  event  which 
he  had  told  me  would  transpire  at  a  certain  time, 
but  which  did  not  then  arrive.  He  replied: 

"The  events  are  exactly  as  I  described  them ;  they 
are  not  yet  matured  to  the  point  of  precipitation  in 
time.  Time  seems  to  be  an  element  that  we  can 
not  fully  measure,  if,  indeed,  it  be  an  element  at 
all.  We,  on  this  plane,  are  often  deceived  regard- 
ing the  time  of  events  on  yours;  but,  never,  I  be- 
lieve, are  we  deceived  as  to  the  events.  Here  we 
have  prophets  and  seers  whose  function  is  to  locate 
events  in  time.  Some  who  confine  their  observa- 
tions to  earth  conditions  are  experts;  but  our  task 
does  not  concern  prophecy ;  our  business  is  to  make 
your  body  supple,  pliant,  sensitive,  responsive, 
obedient. 

"The  first  principle  which  has  occupied  me  since 
August  tenth  might  be  called :  Control  of  the  body 
through  magnetic  force. 

"Your  body  is  now  fairly  subject  to  my  mag- 
netism; your  feet,  which  were  very  obstinate  last 
night,  are  more  docile  to-day. 

"The  second  principle  is :  The  control  of  a  mind 
in  a  perfectly  magnetised  body  by  the  generator  of 
that  particular  magnetism. 

"The  second  principle  is  not  taught  you  of  neces- 
sity, because  for  the  control  of  the  piano,  the  con- 
trol of  the  body  is  alone  necessary;  but  control  of 
your  mind,  which  involves  your  knowledge  and 


practise  of  the  second  principle,  will  give  you  that 
appreciation  of  music  and  that  joy  in  your  own 
work  which  we  wish  you  to  feel. 

"Now  prove  that  your  feet  can  submit  to  this 
control  and  then  celebrate  the  first  entrance  of  my 
mind  into  your  mind.  The  invasion  will  not  be 
that  of  an  enemy  to  forage  and  ravage,  but  the 
invasion  into  the  larder  of  a  friend  by  one  who 
brings  some  delicacies  lacking  to  its  supplies." 

Rubinstein  was  impatient  to  have  his  photograph 
framed  and  hung.  He  told  me  to  send  for  a  photo- 
graph of  Dahn's  portrait  of  him — but  from  no  pic- 
ture dealer  to  whom  I  applied  could  I  obtain  either 
such  a  photograph  or  any  knowledge  of  a  portrait- 
painter  named  Dahn.  I  therefore  ordered  through 
a  local  art  store  the  best  obtainable  photograph  and 
framed  and  hung  it  according  to  his  directions. 

This  photograph  represented  him  as  he  had  ap- 
peared at  the  celebration  of  his  jubilee  in  1889.  Re- 
ferring to  it,  he  said: 

"I  am  glad  you  have  brought  this  photograph  to 
your  room,  but  it  is  not  the  best  one  for  our  pur- 
pose. Adjust  \it  so  that  when  you  stand  before  it, 
its  eyes  will  be  Just  opposite  your  own.  I  still  wish 
you  to  have  a  photograph*  of  Dahn's  painting  of 
me.  However,  the  presence  of  this  in  the  room  will 
be  a  great  help,  not  only  in  your  piano  practise,  but 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    221 

in  your  physical  exercises  which  I  shall  often  com- 
municate to  you  through  it"* 

The  exercises  that  occupied  me  for  hours  every 
night  for  many  weeks  may  be  inferred  from  the 
foregoing  quotations,  and  perhaps  from  them  and 
from  extracts  of  subsequent  communications  the 
reader  will  get  an  impression  of  the  simple  but 
strong  and  profound  nature  that  already  command- 
ed my  perfect  confidence. 

From  thousands  of  pages  received  "for  record" 
prior  to  February,  1903,  I  give,  almost  at  random, 
passages  expressing  this  master's  personality, 
variety,  wit  and  nobility. 

The  application  of  each  remark  was  apt  and  im- 
mediate. Not  one  hint  of  changed  method,  or  of 
quite  new  directions,  appears  in  these  disconnected 
paragraphs  that  was  not  wrought  in  tireless  detail. 
Every  theory  here  implied  was  demonstrated  in 
mental  lessons,  physical  exercises  and  practise  on  the 
instrument.  Space  forbids  my  reporting  every  veri- 
fication, but  I  think  the  passages  self-illuminating. 

"Now  you  know  I  am  trying  to  fill  you  full  of 
etheric  magnetism,  through  which  all  clear  com- 


*This  was  frequently  done  and  continued  to  June,  1908,  and 
when  I  was  obliged  to  put  both  piano  and  framed  photo- 
graph in  storage  I  could  as  easily  perceive  whether  this 
master  addressed  me  directly  or  through  his  photograph 
or  his  portrait,  as  I  could  whether  a  flesh-clad  friend  speaks 
to  me  in  the  room  where  I  sit  or  calls  me  from  an  upper 
or  a  lower  room. 


222    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

munications  are  transmitted.  As  ships  sail  on 
water,  as  birds  fly  in  the  air  and  as  electricity  clings 
to  the  wire — so,  thought  moves  unobstructed  in  this 
element.  The  plan  or  law  of  revelation  you  will 
also  receive  through  the  same  medium.  Now,  full 
height,  full  length  and  full  inspiration.  Communi- 
cate this  vibration  to  your  body  by  resting  this 
board  on  your  chest;  yes,  there  is  an  occult  signifi- 
cance, but  I  am  not  your  master  in  occult  philoso- 
tphy,  only  in  physical  development.  .  .  . 

"Sit  upright,  but  with  eyes  closed,  one  half-hour. 
Then  lie  down — your  head  on  the  exercise  board — 
and  act  on  impulse,  making  no  effort  either  to  re- 
strain or  direct.  New  exercises,  determined  by 
my  success  in  this,  will  follow. 

''Your  whole  body  must  be  rhythmical ;  therefore 
every  part  of  it  must  become  conscious  of  its  rela- 
tion to  the  great  nerve  centers. 

"Remember  the  ends  we  have  in  view — the  little 
selfish  ends.  .  .  .  Greatest  of  all  we  are  to 
demonstrate  beyond  possibility  of  cavil — immor- 
tality— the  survival  of  identity — and  the  interpene- 
tration,  hence  interdependence  of  the  two  planes, 
indeed  of  all  planes  of  life.  To  attain  such  ends 
we  can  afford  to  drop  all  conventions  and  work 
without  measuring  effort. 

"Now — place  your  hand  upon  your  head,  and 
take  such  exercises  as  impulse  dictates.  These  fin- 
ished, place  your  hands  upon  the  board  and  give 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    223 

one  hour's  uninterrupted  obedience  to  me.  .This  is 
to  set  in  motion  a  thousand  cells  that  have  never* 
felt  a  vibratory  impulse,  through  which  you  are  to 
become  susceptible  to  accords  and  discords. 

"All  this  means  work,  such  work  as  even  you 
have  never  known.  Give  me  your  hands  and  let 
me  show  you  how  they  are  to  be  made  pliable,  flexi- 
ble, limp  like  rags,  strong  like  hammers,  harmonious 
like  birds'  notes.  Now,  NOW,  NOW.  .  .  . 

"Press  the  hands  hard  against  the  sides  of  the 
head;  the  mouth  in  form  of  o  long;  sound,  vibrat- 
ing as  long  as  you  can;  I  might  aid  you  to  make 
perfect  tone,  but  I  wish  you  to  work  consciously — 
I  wonder  if  you  realize  that  you  are  being  magne- 
tized— the  board  and  indeed  the  room  must  also  be 
magnetized. 

"As  your  hands  rest  on  the  board  think  of  noth- 
ing. When  they  begin  to  move  try  to  let  your 
thought  keep  time.  When  the  physical  movements 
cease,  mental  harmony  will  be  established  and  you; 
will  then  hear  distinctly  the  voices  on  this  plane. 
Your  husband's  voice  will  be  the  first  to  reach  you 
thus.  This  is  the  reward  of  his  fidelity  and  of 
yours.  It  is  equally  remarkable  on  both  planes  that 
six  years  of  separation  have  not  divided  you." 

Referring  to  my  desire  to  study  his  life: 

"I  am  glad  you  will  order  both  books;  there  are 
anecdotes  in  the  Biography  that  are  rather  discredit- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 


able,  which  I  would  not  have  told  you  myself,  but 
you  must  remember  that  I  have  had  years  here  to 
improve  in,  and  I  am  quite  worthy  to  be  your 
friend.  Were  I  not,  your  husband  would  not  sanc- 
tion our  acquaintance,  for  he  is  very  punctilious 
about  the  moralities,  small  and  large.  Now,  place 
your  hands  on  the  board  and  obey  every  impulse 
without  hesitation. 

"I  shall  play  on  your  hands  for  one  hour. 

"You  must  be  very  lightly  and  loosely  clothed, 
for  Pere  Conde  and  I  wish  to  magnetize  every  cell 
in  your  body  and  I  am  to  fill  every  interstice  be- 
tween cells,  every  pore  with  musical  sounds." 

I  thought  I  had  been  at  the  piano  but  a  few  min- 
utes when  by  the  clock  I  had  played  constantly  one 
hour  and  a  half.  Rubinstein  assured  me  that  my 
response  had  been  perfect.  He  was  much  pleased 
and  said: 

"You  have  made  great  magnetic  progress.  Now 
you  are  to  have  some  new  exercises.  Place  your 
exercise  cloth  on  the  floor  and  stretch  at  full  length 
on  it. 

"As  you  lie  down,  wear  the  loose  gown  in  which 
you  play  and  cover  yourself  with  the  exercise  sheet  ; 
these  are  drenched  with  magnetism;  you  will  fall 
instantly  into  a  magnetic  slumber.  You  are  to  sleep 
one  hour,  and  wake  on  the  minute. 

"Now,   after  unprecedented  and  peculiar  exer- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    225 

cises,  which  you  will  probably  think  violent,  I  shall 
conduct  you  to  the  piano  and  give  you  a  lesson." 

Rubinstein  advised  me  that  the  early  lesson  would 
be  practised,  so  to  speak,  on  my  body,  whose  move- 
ments would  all  be  directed  to  secure  flexibility 
and  harmony. 

During  this  lesson  I  felt  a  strain  upon  my  wrists, 
accompanied  by  sharp  pain  and  a  tension  of  the 
muscles  of  the  upper  arm,  though  I  was  not  mov- 
ing these  members  at  all,  nor  was  there  any  ex- 
ternal sign  that  they  were  being  exercised. 

I  described  what  I  felt.  My  description  was  ap- 
proved and  I  was  assured  that  I  must  exercise 
shoulders  and  wrists  until  the  exercises  occasioned 
no  uncomfortable  sensation. 

"I  shall  stay  right  here  magnetizing  this  room; 
whenever  you  can  leave  your  work  for  ten  minutes, 
come  and  I  will  give  you  directions  for  their  use." 

Later: 

"All  the  poisons  are  to  be  drained  out  of  your 
body,  but  with  that  I've  nothing  to  do.  My  part 
is  to  develop  and  train  your  muscles  through  music, 
and  I  shall  do  it. 

"Follow  impulse  for  ten  minutes,  then  go  to  the 
piano  and  play.  I  will  help  you." 

Up  to  this  time  my  practise  had  been  in  the  sub- 


226    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

rdued  light  which  I  had  arranged  in  accordance  with' 
first  instructions.  Now  in  the  seventh  week  of 
our  acquaintance,  Rubinstein  explained  that  he  must 
work  for  a  degree  of  control  that  would  enable  him 
to  direct  my  music  in  the  presence  of  other  people 
in  daylight  or  artificial  light  of  the  most  intense 
character;  which  simply  meant  that  7  must  gain 
power  to  resist  and  he  to  cancel  distractmg  influ- 
ences* In  answer  to  a  question : 

"I  have  a  new  exercise  for  you  to-night.  Sit  on 
the  floor  on  the  exercise  board  and  follow  every  im- 
pulse. Remember  our  task  is  to  awaken,  to  vitalize, 
to  recreate,  almost  to  etherize  every  particle  of  mat- 
ter in  your  body,  and  we  must  have  your  ungrudg- 
ing and  uncritical  help  in  this. 

"At  these  meetings  no  one  but  Pere  Conde,  your 
husband,  myself  and  your  original  guide  are  al- 
lowed. We  are  the  most  interior  of  your  helpers 
and  you  need  not  hesitate  to  obey  any  command 
that  I  give.  I  shall  not  give  a  wrong  one,  but  if  I 
did,  it  could  not  be  promulgated  in  the  presence  of 
this  group  of  noble  spirits,  all  engaged  in  your  tui- 
tion. Now  begin  the  new  exercise.  It  will  interest 
you  and  it  will  also  do  you  great  physical  good. 

"Be  quick.  Your  whole  body  must  grow  supple 
and  responsive.  Do  not  have  a  moment's  anxiety. 
It  is  timidity  that  paralyzes.  Courage  is  to  be  your 
salvation." 

5£t  this  time  Rubinstein  told  me  that  I  was  more 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    227 

relaxed  during  the  bath  and  massage  than  at  any 
other  time,  and  that  he  was  going  to  try  to  com- 
municate a  sense  of  rhythm  to  me  at  that  time.  He 
added : 

"Water  is  a  good  element  for  the  harmonious 
development  of  the  atoms  that  constitute  your  pres- 
ent garb.  Place  a  flat  dish  of  water  on  the  piano 
before  you  play.  It  helps  to  concentrate  the  mag- 
netism; we  shall  fill  you  with  magnetism  until  it 
runs  out  of  your  pores  like  perspiration." 

After  a  lesson  which  was  commended,  Rubinstein 
told  me  that  after  Pere  Conde,  who  had  arranged 
for  a  long  talk  with  me,  was  through,  I  might  re- 
turn to  him  and  he  would  answer  fully,  as  far  as 
his  knowledge  enabled  him  to  do  so,  all  questions 
I  might  desire  to  ask.  He  said  it  would  be  a  better 
test  of  our  rapport  and  of  his  intimate  acquaintance 
with  my  thoughts  if  I  would  ask  the  questions  men- 
tally and  let  him  write  the  answers : 

"You  may  speak  if  you  prefer,  and  in  any  case, 
if  you  follow  my  suggestions  and  propound  your 
questions  mentally,  if  my  answer  does  not  fit — does 
not  seem  reasonable — then  you  may  speak  aloud 
to  test  my  hearing  and  see  if  it  is  more  acute  than 
my  perception  of  unsymbolized  thoughts.  .  .  . 

"Now  listen  to  Pere  Conde,  who  has  been  very 
patient  and  who  is  more  important  to  you  in  many 


228    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

ways  than  I  am,  as  what  I  do  must  depend  largely 
on  him;  and  what  he  does  depends  on  no  one  un- 
less we  say  that  his  acquaintance  with  you  and  his 
chance  to  try  his  great  experiment  depends  on  your 
husband." 

One  evening  when  Rubinstein  gave  me  an  exer- 
cise for  the  feet,  he  directed  me  to  place  them  on 
the  pedals  of  the  piano  following  impulse  and  then 
to  try  to  remove  them. 

"You  will  find  them  as  tight  to  the  pedals  as  if 
glued.  You  must  be  more  passive.  Pray  to  have 
all  active  will,  all  positiveness  taken  away. 

"The  perfect  polarization  of  all  your  powers  will 
secure  you  immunity  from  all  illnesses,  great  and 
small,  and  this  polarization  means  harmony,  as  har- 
mony means  musical  climax." 

Whenever  I  felt  that  I  did  and  said  all  of  my- 
self, Rubinstein,  instantly  feeling  these  attacks  of 
skepticism,  would  give  me  what  he  called  "a  cor- 
rective." Here  is  an  illustration: 

"Go  to  the  piano  for  just  one  half-hour  and  I 
will  simply  give  you  exercises  for  your  fingers, 
hands  and  feet.  They  will  be  very  complicated, 
difficult  and  fatiguing;  and  you  will  probably  not 
think  them  a  result  of  auto-suggestion.  After  that 
you  may  rest  one  half-hour  lying  down  on  your 
exercise  rug  and  receive  magnetism. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    229 

"I  think  you  know  that  your  fingers  are  being 
lifted  one  by  one  quite  independent  of  your  will  or 
of  your  knowledge  as  to  where  they  will  strike." 

Often  during  these  exercises  which  accompanied 
lessons  on  subjects  quite  new  to  me  I  would  experi- 
ence a  singular  sense  of  strain  followed  by  a  sud- 
den drowsiness.  Whenever  I  had  these  successive 
sensations  I  was  ordered  to  bed,  Rubinstein  assur- 
ing me  that  he  should  stay  to  help  magnetize  both 
myself  and  the  room  in  order  to  promote  clair- 
audience. 

"October  6th,  1902. 

"Madam,  we  now  have  two  hours  of  hard  work 
before  us;  work,  however,  that  shall  not  weary,  but 
on  the  contrary,  invigorate." 

In  explanation  of  some  extraordinary  directions, 
he  added: 

"These  are  to  equalize  the  circulation  and  to  har- 
monize members.  These  exercises  do  not  partic- 
ularly affect  organs,  only  parts.  After  these  exer- 
cises your  perception  will  be  quickened  and  will 
both  record  and  execute  my  next  instructions  more 
accurately. 

"By  our  contract  you  are  always  to  retain  a  per- 
fectly clear  consciousness  of  what  you  are  doing, 
which  means  that  your  nominally  normal  conscious- 


23o    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

ness  is  always  to  be  sitting  in  judgment  on  our 
commands  and  instructions  and  on  your  own  acts 
and  actions.  (Note  the  difference.)  Hence,  so 
far  as  moral  quality  is  concerned,  you  have  entire 
responsibility,  hence  there  must  always  be  a  reserva- 
tion in  all  your  promises  to  us,  since  you  never  sur- 
render full  obedience.  You  do,  however,  surrender 
completely  your  judgment  about  physical  develop- 
ment, piano  practise  and  the  development  of  the 
musical  faculty  to  my  judgment;  and  you  are  to 
surrender  your  taste  in  music  to  my  taste. 

"Now,  make  your  promise  thus  conditioned  and 
defined  and  then  yield  ten  minutes  absolutely  to  im- 
pulses imparted  by  me." 

I  did  so,  but  when  the  impulse  ceased,  I  ex- 
claimed, "It  was  twenty  minutes." 

"Yes,  I  doubled  the  time  because  ten  minutes  had 
not  accomplished  the  result  which  was  to  give  you 
a  final  sense  of  freedom. 

"Stand  before  your  husband's  portrait  and  con- 
centrate on  the  sense  of  hearing  following  the  im- 
pulses that  we  have  agreed  on  imparting  by  our 
joint  effort.  Clairaudience  is  the  almost  indis- 
pensable next  step  toward  your  goal.  Many  of 
your  faculties  are  in  the  bud.  We  are  not  per- 
mitted to  open  any  one  and  leave  the  others.  We 
must  bring  all  on  at  the  same  time." 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR*  SLEEPING    231 

There  followed  an  abrupt  command  to  tense  all 
members  and  parts  of  the  body  successively  and 
then  to  relax  them.  These  alternating  exercises 
were  described  and  felt  to  be  both  mental  and 
physical,  and  were  continued  until  mind  and  body 
had  attained  conscious  rhythmical  relation. 

Rubinstein  then  said:  "The  exercises  that  will 
follow  will  be  exaggerated." 

As  I  commenced  to  execute  them,  I  exclaimed, 
"Ridiculous." 

"Yes,  'ridiculous,'  but  a  necessary  step  in  your 
unfoldment.  Next,  let  us  have  a  song — with  the 
body,  the  whole  body,  as  its  voice.  Stand  before 
the  mirror  and  you  will  render  it.  Sit  on  the  music 
bench;  first  take  a  physical  exercise  on  the  keys, 
then  a  mental ;  the  latter  will  be  an  attempt  to  work 
on  the  second  principle. 

"You  will  remember,  Madam,  that  there  are 
three  principles  to  which  during  this  period  of  your 
development  all  of  our  work  must  conform." 

I  reminded  the  Master  that  he  had  already  given 
me  two  of  these  three. 

"I  wish  you  to  remember  them  as  I  give  them 
now  in  their  expanded  form,  with  explanations, 
and  not  in  the  elementary  form  in  which  I  gave 
them  September  thirtieth. 

"First:     My  mind,  my  spirit,  occupies  and  uses 


232    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

your  body  as  its  very  own;  your  spirit,  however, 
remaining  in  your  body  an  observing  and  compre- 
hending tenant. 

"Second:  My  mind  dominates  and  possesses 
yours  so  that  you  use  your  body  just  as  I  would, 
were  it  my  own  instrument. 

"The  first  principle  ignores  your  mind — while  I 
occupy,  you  must  be  either  absent  or  dormant;  you 
are  not  willing  to  quit  nor  to  be  drugged ;  I  am  not 
willing  either  to  evict  or  to  bind. 

"The  second  principle  again  compels  at  least  the 
temporary  abandonment  of  selfhood  by  self.  My- 
self possesses  and  dominates  not  your  body,  but 
yourself.  Your  ego  is  independent  as  is  my  own. 
Your  ego  is  not  willing  to  be  enslaved  nor  to  be 
effaced;  nor  is  my  ego  so  ignoble  that  it  would  if 
it  could  enslave  or  efface  your  ego. 

"What  do  these  corollaries  of  our  first  two  prin- 
ciples clearly  indicate?  The  need  of  a  third  prin- 
ciple. It  is  a  lofty  and  God-like  principle.  It  will 
be  the  basis  of  our  later  work;  emanating  from 
Deity,  arising  out  of  our  origin  in  Deity;  difficult 
to  conform  to,  but  necessary.  It,  however,  can  not 
be  applied  to  our  lives  and  conformed  to  by  us, 
until  after  the  first  two  principles  have  been  prac- 
tised to  a  degree  which  makes  them  automatic 
whenever  our  united  wills  demand  their  exercise." 

My  books  of  notes  show  that  during  these  months 
I  often  exercised  all  night  with  short  intervals  of 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    233 

rest  (that  best  rest,  lying  prone  on  the  floor)  which 
aggregated  never  more  than  three  hours  and  more 
frequently  less  than  two  hours.  At  the  end  of 
exercises  of  a  remarkable  character: 

"Dear  Madam,  are  you  satisfied  that  some  power 
outside  of  yourself  guides  and  controls  you?" 

Restating  the  three  principles,  he  said : 

"Now  I  shall  practise  them  in  order — I  shall  con- 
trol your  body,  leaving  your  mind  quite  unaffected. 
Next,  I  shall  control  your  mind,  reaching  your 
body  only  through  your  own  mind.  And,  last,  I 
shall  reside  in  your  mind  and  clothe  myself  with 
your  personality,  and  while  doing  the  third  I  will 
give  you  a  nut  to  crack,  viz. :  To  play  without  pro- 
ducing a  sound;  to  feel  the  music  to  place  your 
fingers  correctly  just  above  each  key;  to  exert  the 
proper  amount  of  force  to  produce  the  correct  sound 
if  they  touched  the  keys." 

After  having  been  subjected  to  the  demonstra- 
tion of  the  three  principles  and  to  the  execution  of 
soundless  music,  of  which  I  had  an  acute  percep- 
tion, I  felt  strangely  fatigued.  The  Master  said: 

"Music  demands  the  ripeness  of  all  powers  and 
faculties;  and  it  requires  more  physical  strength 
than  is  needed  by  a  wood-chopper.  It  demands, 
before  all  things,  exuberance  of  physical  life.  One 


234    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

can  not  play  and  garner  one's  strength.  One  must 
let  herself  go — let  herself  out — and  that  self  must 
be  inexhaustible.  The  pianist  must  have  strength; 
but  strength  without  feeling  were  like  dead  matter; 
a  burden  of  coarseness.  Feeling,  various,  tumul- 
tuous, yet  harmonious — feeling,  the  basic  principle 
of  music,  were  violated  if  not  restrained  and  held 
in  leash  by  perfect  sense  of  proportion." 

The  next  evening  the  instruction  began  thus : 

"I  am  about  to  project  a  sentiment  into  your  sub- 
consciousness  and  then  we  three  are  to  watch  the 
phenomenon  of  its  working  up  into  your  ordinary 
consciousness,  into  what  one  may  call  your  superficial 
mind.  Then  your  mind  shall  call  to  your  body  and 
every  muscle  shall  respond,  every  organ  shall  be  in 
accord. 

"This  is  what  you  must  be  able  to  do  at  the  in- 
strument. You  must  feel  every  sentiment  and  then 
express  it  through  the  piano,  which  must  become 
just  as  subject  to  your  will,  your  thought  or  your 
feeling  as  is  your  own  body." 

Once  when  an  experiment  along  the  lines  indi- 
cated had  failed,  I  asked  the  reason. 

"There  are  three  reasons.  First,  you  were  so 
conscious,  so  curious,  about  what  sentiment  was  to 
be  communicated  to  you  that  you  were  not  relaxed 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR 'SLEEPING    235 

enough  to  receive  suggestion.  Second,  the  room 
is  too  warm  and  this  makes  the  atmosphere,  mag- 
netically speaking,  unfavorable.  A  third  is :  I  am  too 
careful  to  preserve  your  individuality;  ordinarily 
I  wish  to  be  scrupulous  about  this,  but  your  hus- 
band and  Pere  Conde  have  just  now  agreed  that  I 
may  attack  your  individuality;  set  it  quite  free,  if 
I  can,  and  to  a  certain  measure  inhabit  your  mind. 
You  need  not  fear;  you  are  not  to  be  entranced  at 
all ;  not  to  lose  consciousness,  but  to  surrender  your 
will  as  active  cause,  and  for  that  purpose  or  office 
take  mine." 

Rubinstein  seemed  as  constitutionally  opposed  to 
the  fast  as  was  my  father,  whose  disapproval  was 
frequently  and  strongly  expressed;  yet  the  Master 
admitted  its  necessity,  often  closing  a  long  denuncia- 
tion of  its  severity  by  declaring : 

"After  all,  abstinence  is  necessary  to  crystal  clear 
perception." 

v 

During  October  the  exercises  were  so  severe  that 
when,  at  the  end  of  several  hours,  the  magnetic 
support  was  removed,  I  fell  into  a  deep  slumber ;  this 
by  the  time  card  never  exceeded  thirty  minutes,  but 
yielded  the  refreshment  formerly  resulting  from  an 
unbroken  stretch  of  eight  hours. 

On  one  of  these  occasions,  to  an  exclamation  of 
surprise,  the  Master  responded: 


236    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

"I  shall  try  constantly  to  awaken  your  conscious- 
ness to  the  fact  that  you  are  receiving  suggestions 
that  have  the  force  of  commands  and  that  you  are 
simultaneously  receiving  that  element  which  enables 
you  to  obey  these  commands  in  a  manner  which, 
left  to  yourself,  would  be  quite  outside  of  your 
power." 

Having  been  for  four  days  without  the  least  par- 
ticle of  food,  and  with  sleep  diminished  to  a  total 
of  ten  hours  in  those  four  days,  feeling  neither 
weak  nor  weary,  I  asked  Rubinstein  for  the  cause : 

"With  your  magnetic  support  it  is  not  strange  at 
all  that  you  do  not  feel  enfeebled.  The  power  of 
etheric  magnetism  is  yet  quite  unrealized,  indeed, 
its  existence  is  denied  by  many  scientists,  but  it  is 
one  of  the  most  powerful  elements  known." 

On  November  ninth  Rubinstein  suddenly  com- 
manded in  the  midst  of  a  physical  exercise  which 
he  had  told  me  was  the  preface  to  the  night's  piano 
practise : 

"Write  for  record. 

"I  appreciate  your  self-control  better  than  your 
physician  does.  Conde  had  such  training  in  ab- 
stinence on  earth  and  has  been  so  long  removed 
from  earth  that  he  does  not  know  what  it  is  for  a 
woman  of  your  habits  and  your  temperament  to 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    237 

go  eighty-five  hours  without  a  morsel  of  food  but 
water;  to  have  her  sleep  reduced  to  seven  hours  in 
all  these  eighty-five  and  to  be  kept  at  hard  work 
for  the  other  seventy-eight.  Of  course,  it  were  im- 
possible but  for  the  Grace  of  God,  which  permits 
primarily  the  support  of  your  husband,  and  second- 
arily the  support  of  the  various  magnetic  forces  we 
can  command. 

"Now,  two  such  spirits  as  Conde  and  your  hus- 
band can  not  know  what  it  is  for  one  of  your 
temperament  and,  I  must  add,  so  far  as  food  ap- 
petite is  concerned,  self-indulgent  tendencies,  to  fast 
so  long;  while  I,  whose  fasts  were  caused  by  pov- 
erty and  were  never  voluntary  and  intentional,  and 
who  still  remember  with  pleasure  certain  foods,  I 
do  know." 

Toward  the  end  of  November  I  felt  keen  hunger 
and  begged  Pere  Conde  for  a  dinner  the  next  day. 
On  his  refusal,  I  felt  deep  mortification,  and  also 
a  curious  condition  of  conflict  about  me,  which  was 
as  curiously  explained  the  next  day  by  Rubinstein : 

"You  did  not  understand  the  situation  last  night, 
when  the  Pere  refused  your  petition  to  dine  to-day. 
Here  are  the  facts :  There  is  strenuous  work  ahead 
of  us,  and  I  feel  we  must  now  begin  to  add  strength 
to  suppleness,  and  so  I  wished  you  to  have  dinner 
to-day.  I  therefore  withdrew  my  magnetic  support 
and  prevailed  on  your  husband  to  withdraw  the 


238    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

magnetism  which  he  supplies,  and  which  the  Pere 
has  often  told  us  is  the  best  substitute  for  food. 
So  you  need  not  attribute  it  to  your  own  fleshliness 
and  be  so  ashamed  that  you  begged  for  a  dinner. 
We  compelled  you  to  do  it  by  the  course  we  pur- 
sued. I  see  that  instead  of  being  grateful  to  me, 
you  reproach  me  in  your  mind  with  disrespect  to 
your  priest-physician.  I  am  not  so  in  my  thought ; 
my  manners  are  not  always  as  gentle  as  they  should 
be;  sometimes,  too,  my  spirits  effervesce  to  the  in- 
jury of  my  manners." 

At  about  this  time  I  received  a  rebuke  for  my 
timidity,  which  by  his  calculation  had  so  diminished 
the  value  of  my  practise  that  a  double  amount  of 
time  was  prescribed.  I  protested,  whereupon  he 
said: 

"I  have  asked  Conde  to  furnish  you  a  very  strong 
current  during  your  practise,  and  I  am  sure  the 
generous  old  fellow  will  do  it,  so  I  dare  say  we 
shall  get  on  capitally  in  spite  of  the  drawback  oc- 
casioned by  your  fears. 

"We  must  yield  to  Conde's  judgment,  for  he 
alone  sees  all  of  the  conditions.  I  see  only  all  that 
pertain  to  my  art  and  to  its  expression.  He  sees 
all  that  indirectly  bear  upon  your  development  in 
all  directions.  Having  the  fuller  view,  to  him  must 
be  granted  the  imperative  voice.  I  did  resent  the 
Pere's  severity.  I  often  disapprove  this  terrible 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    239 

regimen,  but  I  afterward  almost  always  discover 
that  its  effects  have  been  most  beneficial." 

Early  in  December  Rubinstein  announced  that  he 
wished  to  aid  the  work  for  clairaudience  and 
clairvoyance  and  that  he  should  thenceforth  ad- 
dress all  his  music  orders  to  sight  and  hearing, 
which  would  more  than  double  my  work: 

"To  impulses  originating  in  my  will  you  are 
amenable  to  an  extraordinary  degree,  and  it  must 
be  admitted  that  this  is  the  subtlest  and  most  elusive 
of  all  forms  of  influence.  That  you  are  thus  tract- 
able proves  that  on  the  interior  plane  you  are  highly 
developed.  But  what  we  seek  to  accomplish  on  the 
sense  plane  is  so  very  uncommon  that  for  it  an 
extraordinary  preparation  is  essential.  .  .  . 

"You  are  not  praying  enough.  This  is  a  queer 
remark  from  me,  but  I  verily  believe  I  am  growing 
religious  in  my  observation  of  your  experiences  and 
in  my  association  with  your  other  helpers.  I  thought 
it  ridiculous  of  your  husband  to  speak  of  religion 
as  'the  most  exact  of  the  sciences,'  but  I  am  not 
sure  but  it  will  be  proved  to  be  so.  ... 

"Genuflections — contortions.  Why  do  I  change 
the  movements  so  often?  Because  by  the  repetition 
of  the  same  movements  they  might  become  practi- 
cally automatic  and  neither  of  us  could  know  then 
whether  you  responded  to  my  voice  or  to  your 
memory.  If  I  secure  new  unknown  movements, 


240    NEITHER  DKAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

you  will  know  that  they  emanate  in  a  source  out- 
side your  volition  or  intention.  You  shall  now  be- 
come my  agent  in  a  new  interpretation  of  the  word 
'possessed.' ' 

December  fifth  Rubinstein  announced  that  he 
saw  my  "faculty  of  private  instruction  was  to  be 
augmented"  and  that  I  should  need  record  books 
for  six  instead  of  three  instructors.  This  proved 
to  be  correct.  On  the  same  date  he  told  me  he 
had  just  obtained  permission  to  apply  a  fine  mag- 
netism to  my  joints.  Experiencing  the  good  effect 
of  this  experiment,  I  asked  for  his  magnetic  help 
in  regard  to  my  nostrils,  the  mucous  lining  of  which 
for  years  had  been  almost  continuously  irritated  and 
frequently  painfully  sore.  His  reply  was: 

"The  division  of  labor  is  so  sharp  among  us  here 
that  I  can  not  comply  with  that  request.  I  have 
to  do  only  with  joints,  tendons  and  muscles;  you 
see  these  are  all  employed  in  exercise  on  the  instru- 
ment. So  far  as  my  work  is  concerned,  it  is  a 
matter  of  perfect  indifference  to  my  art  whether 
you  perceive  odors  or  not;  and  therefore  I  can  do 
nothing  for  the  nostrils;  indeed  membranes  and 
tissues  are  not  under  my  control. 

"I  wish  to  lubricate  your  joints  with  a  special 
magnetism  that  can  best  be  applied  when  you  are 
entirely  relaxed.  This  happens  only  when  you  are 
asleep.  Since  I  have  learned  my  own  ability  tq 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    241 

generate  a  fine  magnetism  of  lubricative  power  I 
am  less  distressed  by  your  insufficient  exercise, 
which  can  thus  to  a  degree  be  substituted.'* 

On  January  seventh  Rubinstein  told  me  he  was 
to  begin  shaping  my  hands ;  that  their  manipulation 
had  been  assigned  to  my  husband,  and  that  the  first 
part  of  every  lesson  would  apparently  be  devoted  to 
hand  shaping.  He  added :  "They  are  to  be  shaped 
not  to  beauty,  but  to  music."  This  struck  me  as  so 
curious  that  I  interrupted  by  saying,  "I  do  not  un- 
derstand that  at  all." 

"Of  course  you  don't  understand  it.  What  part 
of  this  process  do  you  understand  ?  You  only  know 
the  fact  that  through  your  hand,  in  your  own  house,, 
a  Russian  who  died,  let  us  say,  seven  years  ago, 
more  or  less,  is  now  writing  you  a  letter,  he  hav- 
ing become  one  of  the  most  important  and  perma- 
nent influences  in  your  life.  This  is  a  fact.  Prob- 
ably only  God  fully  understands  such  facts.  We 
simply  know  them  and  enjoy  the  benefits  flowing 
from  the  developing  consciousness  which  makes  us 
know  them. 

"Your  husband  will  shape  your  hands,  but  will 
do  this  as  my  agent,  since  he  possesses  neither  the 
peculiar  quality  of  magnetism  nor  the  peculiar 
facility  of  manipulation  which  would  enable  him  to 
do  this  work  alone. 

"Hence  the  necessity  for  my  getting  as  near  him 
as  possible.  Hence  my  need  of  using  his  pencil. 


242    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

Hence  many  trifles  which  you  will  have  an  oppor- 
tunity to  observe  in  the  next  few  months.  Now  I 
wish  to  get  in  a  full  hour's  work  in  a  half -hour's 
time  by  doubling  operations,  i.  e.,  by  simultaneously 
conducting  two  sets  of  exercises." 

He  used  to  tell  me  that  if  I  would  inhale  his 
magnetism  consciously,  i.  e.,  learn  to  discriminate 
between  it  and  the  magnetism  emanating  from 
other  personalities  and  objects,  I  would  be  sooner 
freed  by  it  and  my  movements  would  demonstrate 
its  power.  This  was  attained  in  the  second  half  of 
the  tearing  down  period  of  my  fast.  Often  after  a 
terribly  severe  night  of  this,  Rubinstein  would  dis- 
miss me  with  these  words  or  their  equivalent : 

"Have  no  anxiety  about  the  effect  of  this,  for  to- 
morrow you  will  feel  lighter  of  mind,  lighter  of 
heart  and  stronger  of  will,  as  well  as  of  body,  than 
in  long  years.  Do  not  be  so  astonished  by  new 
exercises  and  never  fear  one.  This  is  as  natural  as 
being,  as  natural  as  breathing;  but  I  admit  the  most 
'unnatural  thing  one  coidd,  aprlori,  think  of,  is 
breathing. 

"Yes,  the  photograph  you  have  framed  and  hung 
up  here  is  a  good  one,  but  not  so  good  as  the  one 
I  meant  from  the  portrait  by  my  friend  Dahn.  My 
friend  Dahn*  painted  a  portrait  of  me  while  I  was 

*I  have  just  become  acquainted  with  a  contemporary  and 
intimate  friend  of  Rubinstein,  who  tells  me  that  "an  artist  in 
Dresden,  named  Dahn,  was  an  intimate  of  Anton  and  prob- 
ably painted  him,  as  all  artists  sought  to  do,  at  that  period." 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    243 

in  Dresden;  I  do  not  understand  the  difficulty  in 
getting  it.  I  was  happier  then,  and  therefore  better 
looking  than  at  any  other  period  of  my  life,  and  I 
was  dressed  in  a  more  youthful  costume  than  this 
photograph  represents.  I  was  in  evening  dress,  and 
I  think  you  would  like  it  better. 

"I  wish  sometime  to  give  you  a  portrait*  as  I 
am  now  and  also  some  as  I  have  been  at  different 
periods  of  my  earth  life,  for  I  hear  the  latter  is 
also  possible." 

I  insert  here  extracts  from  characteristic  letters 
received  from  Rubinstein  during  the  second  half  of 
my  fast: 

"January  nth,  1903. 

"Well,  Madam,  I  am  perfectly  rejoiced  that  to- 
day you  are  to  be  allowed  to  eat  what  you  wish.  I 

I  certainly  expect  from  past  confirmation  of  the  Master's 
statements  to  get  absolute  proof  of  Dahn's  having  painted  his 
portrait  as  here  described. 

*Two  years  later,  in  February  of  1905,  Rubinstein  succeeded 
in  giving  me  in  my  own  library,  a  beautiful  portrait  of  him- 
self as  a  youth  of  nineteen.  In  April,  1912,  I  had  the  privilege 
of  showing  a  photograph  of  this  portrait  to  Mr.  Felix 
Moscheles  of  London,  who  had  been  intimately  acquainted 
with  Rubinstein  from  the  latter's  early  boyhood  until  his 
death.  As  soon  as  Mr.  Moscheles  saw  the  photograph  (know- 
ing nothing  of  the  circumstances  under  which  I  had  obtained 
it)  he  exclaimed:  "Why,  that  is  Anton,  perfect,  as  he  was 
as  a  youth  of  from  17  to  19.  Where  did  you  get  it?  I  did 
not  know  that  he  was  ever  painted  at  so  early  an  age.  Later, 
all  artists  wanted  to  paint  him,  but  who  painted  him  as  a 
youth?"  To  Mr.  Moscheles  I  made  no  reply,  except  that  the 
picture  was  a  gift.  In  a  later  volume  in  which  my  acquaintance 
with  Rubinstein  as  a  Master  of  Music  may  be  given,  I  hope 
to  tell  the  story  of  the  portrait. 


244    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

shall  enjoy  it  as  much  as  you  will.  I  believe  that 
your  present  period  of  fasting  is  an  indispensable 
part  of  your  novitiate,  but  notwithstanding  it  is 
hard,  and  I  am  so  constituted  that  I  believe  I  have 
felt  the  sacrifice  involved  more  than  any  one.  If 
Conde  could  feel  it,  he  could  not  prescribe  it,  but 
in  the  first  place  he  was  an  ascetic  in  his  earthly 
career,  and,  in  the  second,  he  has  been  removed 
from  your  sphere  long  enough  to  have  forgotten 
the  force  of  physical  appetite.  This  is  well  for  all 
of  us,  for  the  success  of  all  the  rest  depends  on  his 
securing  for  you  a  perfectly  well  body.  His  orders 
often  seem  so  hard  to  me  that  my  impulse  is  to 
counsel  disobedience,  but  I  abstain  from  that  folly 
and  rejoice  in  your  loyalty." 

"January  13,  12:19  A.  M. 

"Well,  Madam,  after  this  splendid  period  of  exer- 
cise, you  are  a  different  being,  considered  as  a  re- 
ceiver of  thought,  and  having  got  you  in  such  good 
condition,  I  naturally  want  to  write  something  about 
music;  but  there  are  so  many  hands  reaching  for 
the  pencil,  that  were  they  not  all  directed  by  such 
nice  people,  I  should  say  I  was  being  interrupted 
by  a  mob." 

"January  i8th,  5:55  A.  M. 

"Now  we  have  an  hour  of  wonderful  exercise, 
and  as  I  see  you  jumping,  skipping  and  panting 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    245 

through  this  hour,  I  can  hardly  restrain  my  laughter 
sufficiently  to  give  you  directions." 

"January  ipth,  6:13  A.  M. 

"Well,  Madam,  your  next  period  of  total  fasting 
begins  to-day,  and  how  glad  I  am,  for  when  you 
eat  you  must  sleep,  and  when  you  sleep  there  is  not 
time  for  the  work  that  secures  our  progress.  The 
only  consolation  I  have  is  in  the  knowledge  that 
your  experience  of  the  past  week  has  proven  you 
to  be  already  in  a  condition  wherein  nutrition  and 
rest  are  both  obtained  in  maximum  amount  from 
minimum  investment.  You  actually  drew  from 
your  seven  slim  meals  as  much  nutrition  as  one 
ordinarily  obtains  from  twenty-one  heavier  ones, 
and  you  get  always  as  much  refreshment  in  your 
three  or  four  hours  of  sleep  as  is  ordinarily  derived 
from  eight  or  ten  hours.  This  is  by  actual  mathe- 
matical calculation.  These  rare  results  may  be 
ascribed  to  two  causes — first,  to  your  own  physical 
condition,  and,  second,  to  the  magnetisms  with 
which  you  are  constantly  fed  and  sustained.  These 
together  lift  you  out  of  ordinary  law  and  place  your 
nutrition  and  repose,  which  together  constitute  the 
normal  means  of  restoration,  under  a  law  seemingly 
your  own.  Not  so.  It  is  a  law  of  universal  ap- 
plication, i.  e.,  given  the  conditions,  the  result  would 
be  inevitable;  only  at  the  present  time  you  are  the 
only  mortal  whom  I  know  who  is  supplying  the  con- 
ditions." 


246    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

"January  25th. 

"Now,  for  one  hour,  follow  impulse.  It  is  just 
midnight. 

"I  A.  M. 

"Madam,  it  has  been  equivalent  to  two  good 
hours,  because  of  the  large  proportion  of  double  and 
triple  action  introduced. 

"Now,  sleep,  and  while  your  body  rests  (you 
know  it  is  the  only  thing  that  can  ever  be  tired) 
we  shall  continue  the  instruction  of  the  spirit.  .  .  . 

"This  curious  episode  has  a  double  end.  First 
our  rapport  is  to  be  perfected;  second,  Conde  must 
use  the  exercise  which  I  inspire  as  his  remedies  for 
all  your  maladies.  Well,  that  is  absurd,  I  admit. 
When  I  say  'all  your  maladies/  it  is  as  if  they 
would  fill  a  hospital  ward  with  groaning  patients; 
and  so  far  as  I  have  been  able  to  discover,  you 
have  no  illness  whatever,  and  Conde's  treatment  is 
preventive  rather  than  curative. 

"Conde  interrupts  to  tell  me  that  there  was  a 
malady  that  gave  you  much  anxiety,  which,  to  good 
mortal  doctors  seemed  of  the  class  'incurable/ 
which  is  now  almost  eradicated. 

"Now,  you  will  salute  me,  your  husband,  Conde 
and  Don  Silva.  Then  pose  as  usual  and  the — well, 
you  will  behave  in  a  very  unusual  manner." 

An  hour  later,  when  I  fell  gasping  to  the  floor, 
exclaiming  "Wonderful,"  Rubinstein  said: 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    247 

"Madam,  you  have  spoken  the  true  word;  the 
wonders  of  a  few  weeks  ago  have  become  ordinary 
by  repetition  and  exaggeration,  and  so  I  did  some- 
thing new. 

"Pray,  exercise,  fast,  work  in  all  directions  un- 
ceasingly. To  help  you  follow  these  orders  is  to 
be  my  service.  The  time  for  exercise  is  so  limited 
that  it  must  express  great  force.  To-day  return  my 
photograph  to  its  place;  but  now  pose  before  that 
section  of  the  wall  where  you  feel  my  force  con- 
centrated, and  then — •- — " 

"February  8th,  6:10  A.  M. 

"Madam,  it  is  long  since  I  have  written  and  forty- 
eight  hours  since  I  have  directed  your  exercises; 
but  on  my  side  there  has  been  no  cessation  of  effort 
to  reach  you  and  to  aid  you. 

"During  your  hours  of  sleep  I  have  given  you 
exercises  of  position,  and  now,  resuming  exercises 
of  action,  I  am  sure  you  will  find  yourself  doing 
some  that  you  will  know  to  have  been  quite  im- 
possible before  this  date. 

"What  is  an  exercise  of  position?  The  question 
is  quite  proper,  though  I  may  not  be  able  to  frame 
an  answer  intelligible  to  your  present  stage  of  de- 
velopment. 

"All  exercises  may  first  be  divided  into  two 
classes — active  and  passive.  In  active  exercises  one 
does;  in  passive  one  simply  receives.  It  is  true  th&J; 


248    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

in  your  active  exercises  under  my  direction  you  re- 
ceive both  the  impulse  that  determines  the  exercise 
and  the  power  to  do  it;  but  in  spite  of  that  you 
really  make  the  movements  and  are  conscious  of 
them. 

"In  passive  exercises  you  receive  magnetism,  but 
in  a  way  that  arranges  you  in  position  with  slight 
gentle  movements,  that  would  be  almost  impercep- 
tible to  the  physical  vision  of  an  ordinary  observer; 
movements  of  which  you  are  entirely  unconscious, 
and  which  hold  you  in  one  position  after  another; 
their  object  being  strength  and  symmetry.  Now, 
having  explained  my  relation  to  you  during  sleep, 
I  long  to  see  you  curveting  about  like  a  colt  under 
rein  and  lash.  .  .  . 

"Well,  Madam,  I  fancy  that  your  imagination 
never  pictured  the  performance  you  have  just  com- 
pleted. You  see  agility  and  flexibility  are  worked 
for  at  the  same  time  now,  by  different  organs  and 
members  being  used  simultaneously  and  by  each 
working  for  the  two  ends  alternately. 

"Well,  I  do  congratulate  you  on  your  growth  in 
knowledge  and  I  congratulate  your  master  on  the 
new  interest  in  earth  life  which  his  relation  to  you 
as  pupil  gives  him." 

"February  I  ith,  3 130  A.  M. 

"Yesterday  we  got  more  than  an  hour's  exercise 
out  of  a  scant  half-hour.  This  morning  my  ^pur- 
pose is  to  get  three  hours  out  of  an  hour.  No,  this 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    249 

is  not  a  figure  of  speech  to  indicate  good  work;  it 
is  literal  and  states  the  exact  result  mathematically 
speaking  for  which  I  shall  work.  Whenever  I  can 
keep  three  sets  of  exercises  going  simultaneously, 
that  means  that  results  are  to  time  as  three  is  to 
one." 

"February  I3th,  3  A.  M. 

"Although  these  days  belong  to  me,  your  husband 
and  Pere  Conde  must  use  them,  and  I  must  get  my 
work  in  as  I  can.  This  results  in  your  increased 
susceptibility  and  responsiveness,  qualities  just  as 
necessary  for  my  work  as  for  theirs;  but  qualities 
that  result  from  their  work,  not  mine.  You  must 
have  a  short  walk  this  morning.  I  will  go  with  you 
and  give  you  exercises  in  breathing,  and  perhaps  in 
stepping,  and  indeed,  keeping  beside  you,  I  will  in- 
sert a  gymnastic  wherever  it  is  possible." 

"March  I3th,  4:57  A,  M. 

"What  is  a  mystery?  A  state  revealed  only  to 
experience.  All  mysteries  are  to  be  revealed  to 
humanity — mysteries  of  life  and  death  and  of  the 
life  to  come." 

"March  23rd. 

"I  shall  accompany  you  to  New  Orleans,  because 
I  can  not  afford  to  lose  one  atom  of  rapport  already 
gained. 

"Besides,  this  journey  will  afford  me  an  oppor- 
f unity  of  making  some  interesting  tests." 


250    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

"March  24th,  2 135  A.  M. 

"Madam,  this  is  of  all  nights  since  that  August 
evening  when  I  first  met  you,  and  when  our  ulti- 
mate relation  was  revealed,  the  most  interesting  you 
have  experienced. 

"I  am  glad  you  are  to  take  food  this  week.  You 
have  from  time  to  time  slashed  off  so  much  dead 
tissue  that  we  need  a  little  new  material  for  the 
new  tissue  that  must  be  made  to  keep  you  in  the 
body  any  longer." 

"April  ist,  11:45  P.  M. 

"Madam,  more  than  a  week  and  but  for  my  cer- 
tain knowledge  of  how  all  this  is  to  eventuate,  I 
could  not  myself  have  borne  what  you  have  suf- 
fered. It  seems  a  cruel  week,  but  it  was  not  so. 
As  Conde  has  told  me,  you  made  a  great  stride  in 
both  physical  strength  and  spiritual  power. 

"Now,  for  one  hour,  I  am  to  control  your  exer- 
cises in  a  way  that  will  prove  how  our  rapport  has 
been  strengthened  during  a  period  when  I  know 
you  thought  me  inactive  and  when  you  believed 
yourself  to  be  losing  ground." 

"April  2nd,  i  no. 

"Madam,  the  hour  we  had  was  really  equal  to 
three,  and  so  must  every  hour  of  exercise  for  the 
next  ten  days  be,  and  I  shall  try  to  have  from  two 
to  three  hours  by  the  clock  each  day,  for  your  body 
still  contains  refuse  to  be  rejected.  This  is  a  most 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    251 

^narvelous  example  of  tearing  down  and  building 
up  simultaneously.     Now " 

Apropos  of  a  meaningless  sentence  with  which 
this  communication  closed,  when  at  5  145  P.  M.  on 
April  3rd,  Rubinstein  took  my  pencil,  his  first  words 
were: 

"Madam,  at  the  time  you  wrote  that  last  sentence, 
you  were  so  far  gone  in  fatigue  that  I  could  neither 
control  your  hand  nor  instruct  your  mind.  As  you 
would  say  of  a  telephone,  'the  wires  were  crossed/ 
i.  e.,  another  magnetic  current  became  confused 
with  mine,  hence  the  nonsense." 

"April  /th,  12:15  A.  M. 

"Madam,  you  perceive  how  stringent  is  the  exer- 
cise we  give  you  this  week.  We  want  you  to  get 
every  atom  of  dead  matter  expelled  by  Easter  and 
to  have  nothing  left  on  your  bones  that  is  not  new 
and  vital." 

"April  nth,  5:23  A.  M. 

"Madam,  our  labors  during  this  passing,  almost 
past,  week  have  been  very  severe.  You  have  re- 
sponded to  my  demands  better  than  I  believed  you 
could.  What  we  aimed  to  attain  we  shall  attain 
by  Easter  morn.  What  we  aimed  to  do  we  shall 
have  done.  Practically  there  will  be  no  atom  of 
dead  tissue  on  or  within  your  frame." 


252    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

"April  15,  5:45  A.  M. 

"Madam,  it  is  indeed  time  for  me  to  bear  a  hand 
in  these  instructions,  for  our  exercises  must  needs 
be  preceded  by  some  explanatory  statements. 

"For  seven  months  I  have  directed  your  exercises 
to  this  end,  that  dead,  poisoned,  excessive  or  mis- 
applied tissue  might  be  destroyed. 

"These  seven  months  have  made  you  reasonably 
responsive  to  my  impulses.  But  before  you,  lacking 
three  days,  there  stretch  the  two  months  during 
which  I  must  direct  you  into  creative  exercises; 
this  is  so  much  more  severe  because  more  interior, 
more  subtle,  more  closely  related  to  the  vital  force. 
Such  exercise  is  more  remote  from  consciousness 
and  more  exhausting  in  the  first  instance,  but  its 
second  effect  is  always  Life,  Life,  Life. 

"Life  is  our  goal,  and  commencing  now  (your 
husband  must  first  present  some  new  helpers),  you 
will  for  one  week  give  us  from  one  to  three  hours 
a  day  for  creative  exercises. 

"The  rapport  for  this  is  difficult  for  all,  impos- 
sible to  most  at  the  earth  stage  of  being.  You  are 
to  glide  into  it  as  if  your  native  spontaneous  form 
of  expression;  and  from  this  first  hour  of  creative 
exercise  you  will  begin  to  feel  the  tide  of  renewal 
sweep  through  you.  The  current,  at  first  gentle, 
hardly  credible,  will  grow  stronger  and  stronger  un- 
til it  ravishes  you  with  its  ecstasy." 

On  April  eighteenth  Rubinstein  expressed  dis- 


253 

satisfaction  with  the  amount  of  time  assigned  to 
him,  saying: 

"The  amount  of  food  you  now  take  daily,  which 
is  necessary,  which  you  must  take,  will  accumulate 
as  mere  adipose,  unprofitable  and  cumbersome  tis- 
sue, unless  by  creative  exercise  you  are  able  to  have 
it  seized  upon  by  the  different  forces  and  by  them 
applied  wherever  in  recent  years  death  has  con- 
quered life  in  your  form." 

"April  i  Qth,  7:20  A.  M. 

"Madam,  what  you  have  just  read  is  true;  add  to 
it  what  Conde  has  communicated  and  you  have 
the  outline  of  your  method  of  being  rebuilt. 

"Conde  is  to  furnish  a  quite  new  magnetism  to 
a  certain  end.  This  is  to  be  administered  while 
you  eat  your  food  and,  if  necessary,  at  intervals  be- 
tween your  repasts.  You  will  perceive  it,  for  al- 
ready are  your  mucous  linings  restored  to  a  point 
where  they  respond  to  nervous  impact.  .  .  . 

"The  helpers  just  named  will  be  with  you  and 
aid  you  as  I  try  to  direct  you  from  destructive  to 
creative  gymnastics." 

"April  25th,  2 150  A.  M. 

"Madam,  you  are  astonished  to  find  that  you  have 
written  nothing  at  my  dictation  for  nearly  a  week. 
In  spite  of  this,  I  never  directed  you  more  con- 
stantly or  more  efficiently. 


254    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

"Our  rapport  is  so  perfect  that  you  respond  to 
me  wherever  you  are.  Yes,  I  heard  your  talk  to 
your  young  girls  of  me.  You  did  it  in  response  to 
my  desire. 

"You  do  not  know  enough  about  me  yet.  You 
must  learn  more;  and  I  think  I  shall  presently  be 
able  to  communicate  anecdotes  as  well  as  instruc- 
tion without  a  word.  I'm  going  to  try  it.  To-mor- 
row night  I'll  dictate  a  story*  for  you  to  tell  your 
girls  just  as  I  dictate  it  to  your  thought. 

"You  have  had  a  very  hard  night,  and  you  need 
stimulant.  The  Pere,  your  husband  and  I  will  ad- 
minister magnetic  restoratives  to  you  as  soon  as  you 
sleep." 

"April  26th,  10  P.  M. 

"Madam,  now  listen  and  see  if  you  can  take  a 
dictation  instantaneously  from  my  thought.  If  you 
can,  you  shall  then  write  it  from  memory.  For  this 
our  rapport  must  be  perfect." 

THe  ?'creative  gymnastics"  continued  daily  to 
June  nth,  1903.  Then  they  were  intermittently 
directed — perhaps  one  should  say  of  these  interior 
exercises,  communicated — until  September  eleventh, 
when  Pere  Conde  announced: 


*This  was  done,  and  when  I  told  the  story,  my  youthful 
auditors  were  much  amused.  They  asked  me  a  hundred  ques- 
tions which  I  answered  instantly  at  R's  silent  dictation. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    255 
"Again  the  end  is  but  the  beginning/' 

The  statement  was  apparently  more  true  of 
Rubinstein  than  of  any  other  helper  except  my  hus- 
band. 

Although  prior  to  the  experience  I  should  have 
supposed  myself  more  incapable  of  a  sympathetic 
and  intelligent,  intellectual  and  social  intimacy  with 
a  great  musician  than  with  any  other  type  of  human 
distinction,  it  is  a  fact  that  from  Rubinstein's  first 
appearance  to  present  date  (a  period  of  nearly 
seventeen  years),  the  sense  of  congeniality  almost 
immediately  felt  has  increased  and  has  become  the 
apparent  basis  for  one  of  the  most  delightful  and 
most  continuously  and  rarely  helpful  friendships 
with  which  my  life  has  been  blessed.  Whether  it 
will  be  my  happy  destiny  to  demonstrate  the  con- 
tinuance on  earth  of  his  supremacy  in  his  own  art, 
I  do  not  know.  That  rests  with  the  same  power 
that  initiated  this  acquaintance.  But  to  him  I  owe 
much  for  indefatigable  labor  that  was,  I  believe,  as 
indispensable  to  the  success  of  Pere  Conde  in  his 
task  of  healing  as  were  the  devoted  care  and  in- 
struction of  the  revered  Pere  himself.  Moreover, 
to  this  distinguished  friend  I  owe  the  joy  of  a  rela- 
tively intelligent  appreciation  of  one  art  entirely 
unknown  to  me  prior  to  August  nth,  1902. 

The  time  I  could  give  to  music,  compared  witK 
that  the  Master  desired,  was  limited,  and  only  a 
small  proportion  of  this  limited  time  was  spent  at 


256    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

the  piano,  of  which  circumstances  prevented  any 
use  from  August  of  1903  to  August  ist,  1905. 
Then  there  followed  one  year  when,  with  few  ex- 
ceptions, I  practised  under  the  Master's  instructions 
on  Sunday  mornings  for  from  one  to  two  hours; 
and  within  this  period,  vis. :  from  August  I2th, 
1905,  to  and  including  Christmas  night  of  the  same 
year,  I  took  in  the  evenings  enough  oral  instruc- 
tions in  theory,  directions  for  practise,  etc.,  etc.,  to 
result  in  a  record  of  six  hundred  quarto  pages  in 
fine  longhand  script — reproduced  from  the  short- 
hand notes  of  a  critical  observer*  who  was  appar- 
ently sent  from  the  other  side  of  the  world  to  do 
this  service  for  me,  and  in  whose  presence  it  was 
all  given  and  executed. 

From  Christmas,  1905,  to  January  of  1908,  my 
piano  was  untouched  by  me  save  at  long  intervals, 
and  since  the  latter  date  has  been  in  storage. 

It  is  therefore  quite  evident  that  my  dear  Master 
has  never  had  the  opportunity  to  give  me  the  prac- 
tise on  the  instrument  anticipated  by  him  always 
from  our  first  meeting;  and  now  for  a  long  time 
ardently  longed  for  by  me;  but  his  instructions  in 
divers  lines  have  continued,  being  imparted  in  divers 
ways  to  June,  1919,  and  his  visits  have  not  been 
entirely  suspended  to  date  (December,  1919). 


*Miss   Wilhelmina   Sheriffe   Bain    (now   Mrs.   Elliott)    of 
Fortrose,  Southland,  New  Zealand. 


CHAPTER  X 

CULMINATION      OF     EXPERIENCES      AT     EASTERTIDE. 

PHYSICIAN  WHO  HAD  PRONOUNCED  CASE 

HOPELESS  ADMITS  CURE 

child,  in  reply  to  your  questions,  you  have 
slept  because  your  need  of  sleep  was 
great.  All  of  your  teachers  and  guides  have  the  pow- 
er to  advance  your  growth  during  sleep.  As  a  recom- 
pense for  your  abstinence  and  your  obedience  of 
yesterday,  we  shall  give  you  some  information  con- 
cerning your  experiences  during  the  night:  There 
is  not  one  member  of  your  group  who  has  not  done 
something  to  advance  your  progress,  and  now,  each 
one  of  us,  commencing  with  myself,  will  tell  you  his 
own  part  in  this  service. 

"For  myself,  I  gave  you  a  great  quantity  of  the 
magnetism  of  repose,  in  consequence  of  which  you 
have  received  the  same  refreshment  and  the  same 
recuperation  of  energy  that  one  quite  exhausted 
would  ordinarily  receive  from  twenty-four  hours  of; 
uninterrupted  sleep. 

"Here  the  law  of  proportion  is  always  main- 
tained; and  a  novitiate  achieves  results  in  exact 
accord  with  his  own  efforts.  There  is  not  time 
now  to  explain  everything ;  and  although  each  mem- 
ber of  the  group  wishes  to  explain  his  or  her  part 
in  your  support  and  instruction,  each  will  have  to 
await  an  opportunity,  for  it  is  more  than  usually 
necessary  to  give  you  the  day's  orders  at  once. 

257 


258    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

"First,  this  is  a  day  filled  with  labors  of  all  kinds; 
but  you  will  have  the  strength  to  meet  and  to  ac- 
complish them  all. 

"Your  breakfast  will  be  water  only,  i.  e.,  water 
without  sugar;  water  well  salted  if  you  like,  but 
nothing  more. 

"I  perceive  that  at  your  school  there  is  a  festival* 
and  that  young  girls  are  serving  luncheon  to  their 
mothers  at  a  long  table,  over  which  you  preside. 
There  you  are  to  eat  everything,  the  meat  included." 

As  I  had  not  tasted  meat  for  five  years,  I  was 
repelled  by  the  suggestion.  Apparently  in  response 
to  this  feeling,  for  I  had  said  nothing,  Pere  Conde 
repeated : 

"Yes,  the  meat  also.  It  is  as  necessary  to  know 
how  to  partake  as  to  know  how  to  abstain.  This 
food  so  unusual  will  give  you  a  kind  of  exaltation. 
The  society  of  your  friends  will  augment  this;  you 
will  talk  much — that  is  well — but  do  not  speak  of 
yourself,  nor  allow  any  reference  to  your  winter's 
fast  nor  to  your  changed  aspect ;  prevent  such  refer- 
ence if  possible;  otherwise  ignore  it  and  talk  of 
other  subjects." 

I  asked  if  I  were  to  sleep  or  to  work  that  night. 

"If  one  may  not  obey  two  masters,  neither  may  a 
master  give  two  orders  for  the  same  day  that  are 

*This  was  the  mid-year  examination  of  a  class  in  cookery 
which  took  the  form  of  a  luncheon  to  the  mothers  of  the 
pupils  who  prepared  it. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    259 

contradictory.  You  are  given  not  permission,  but 
direction  to  dine  comfortably,  then  surely  you  will 
not  be  expected  to  abstain  from  sleep  which  will 
be  needed  for  the  assimilation  of  the  food  you  will 
have  taken;  for  calm  of  spirit  and  repose  of  body 
furnish  the  conditions  for  changing  food  into 
strength. 

"To  assimilate  food  without  fatiguing  the  body 
it  is  necessary  to  sleep  while  the  final  processes  of 
digestion  are  in  progress. 

"During  your  sleep,  you  have  had  a  spiritual  ex- 
perience of  which  you  are  not  conscious,  but  the 
significance  of  which  will  be  opened  to  you  after 
a  time." 

"February  i6th. 

"You  are  perplexed;  you  wonder  why  if  it  was 
necessary  for  you  to  sleep  all  of  night  before  last, 
when  you  are  perfectly  satisfied  with  your  few  hours' 
sleep  of  last  night  after  a  similar  dinner. 

"The  question  is  natural  and  reasonable.  Your 
bath  and  the  passive  exercise  you  receive  from  your 
masseuse  is  equivalent  to  one,  even  to  two,  hours 
of  sleep. 

"To-morrow,  at  that  dinner*  which  it  is  a  part  of 
your  duty  to  attend,  eat  and  drink  the  menu  pre- 
pared for  your  guests,  including  the  meat  and  the 


*This  was  the  mid-year  examination  of  a  more  advanced 
class  in  cookery  which  took  the  form  of  a  dinner  at  which 
the  fathers  of  the  pupils  who  prepared  and  served  it,  were 
the  guests. 


26b    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

coffee.  I  know  you  do  not  wish  the  meat,  but  it  is 
better;  strangers  can  neither  know  nor  understand 
your  position;  they  will  judge  what  they  have  heard 
you  are  doing  by  your  social  habits  and  by  appar- 
ent physical  results.  Neither  meat  nor  coffee  is 
good  for  you,  but  I  shall  give  you  an  antidoting 
magnetism  which  will  prevent  evil  consequences." 

I  now  was  told  to  prepare  to  exercise  for  the 
benefit  of  two  guests  in  my  home  (relatives)  the 
talents  of  an  interpreter  or  medium,  which  even  in 
November  I  had  been  told  were  matured,  but  which 
prior  to  this  date  I  had  practised  for  no  one. 

"This  is  for  you  a  new  phase — a  phase  that  im- 
poses grave  responsibility.  Whether  it  is  best  for 
you  to  have  the  power  to  hear,  see  and  feel  for 
others  is  a  question  that  has  been  seriously  con- 
sidered by  your  husband,  Rubinstein  and  myself, 
and  also  by  the  less  important  members  of  your 
group  of  helpers. 

"At  the  beginning  it  was  our  intention  to  limit 
your  power  of  writing  and  of  clairaudience  to 
receiving  messages  for  yourself  in  order  to  protect 
you  from  the  very  great  and  curiously  interior  fa- 
tigue of  writing  for  others;  but  after  much  con- 
sideration we  have  decided  to  place  no  such  limit 
on  your  power  by  withholding  our  instructions.  It 
is  necessary  for  you  to  know,  to  understand  and  to 
practise  all  phases  of  this  work,  necessary  for  you 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    261 

to  be  trained  to  endure  all  fatigues  and  all  priva- 
tions. 

"Why  is  it  so  much  more  difficult  to  receive  for 
others  than  for  one's  self? 

"A  moment's  reflection  will  show  you  that  mathe- 
matically it  is  three  times  as  difficult;  for  the  me- 
dium between  two  planes  must  herself  be  en  rap- 
port with  the  medium  on  the  Etheric  Plane,  with 
the  incarnate  humans  on  the  Earth  Plane  whom  she 
serves,  and  with  the  excarnate  humans  on  the 
Etheric  Plane,  outside  of  her  own  group,  whom  she 
also  serves." 

My  duties  on  both  Earth  and  Etheric  Plane  were1 
heavily  increased  in  the  first  quite  dinnerless  weeks. 
House  guests  compelled  entertaining  in  their  honor. 
My  office  in  "The  Indiana  Union  of  Literary  Clubs" 
led  to  my  convening  in  my  home  its  Executive  (a 
dozen  or  more  of  the  men  and  v/omen  of  our  state 
foremost  in  efforts  for  its  cultural  progress),  where 
an  executive  session  was  followed  by  a  dinner. 

Mid-year  examinations  just  over  were  as  usual 
followed  by  extra  work  caused  by  marking  test  pa- 
pers, reorganizing  classes,  admitting  new  pupils, 
etc.,  etc. 

On  February  fourteenth  two  of  the  officers  of 
our  National  Council  of  Women  paid  me  a  visit  to 
confer  about  preparations  for  the  executive  session 
which  the  Council  had  been  invited  to  hold  in  New, 
Orleans. 


262    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

All  of  these  most  agreeable  incidents  meant  in- 
creased work,  and  in  directing-  my  preparations  for 
it,  Pere  Conde  said: 

"You  have  enormous  labors  before  you.  Taste 
not  one  morsel  of  food.  You  have  not  one  atom 
of  strength  to  spend  in  assimilating  food,  nor  one 
moment  of  time  to  spend  in  sleep,  when  only  as- 
similation can  be  carried  on  with  no  draft  on  the 
strength." 

It  was  at  this  time  that  Pere  Conde  requested  my 
husband  to  allow  him  to  present  to  me  the  helper 
summoned  by  Rubinstein,  already  referred  to. 

I  saw  this  vigorous  young  man  before  the  Pere 
pronounced  his  name.  He  had  German  features, 
blue  eyes,  golden  hair,  and  a  particularly  beautiful 
throat.  Pere  Conde's  statement,  "He  is  a  German 
and  a  chorus  master,"  was  unnecessary,  but  I  did 
not  know  his  name  until  the  Pere  pronounced  it, 
"Johann  Raimond." 

For  the  first  time,  as  Raimond  advanced  to  re- 
ceive my  greeting,  like  a  flash  came  the  perception 
of  the  double  odor  of  German  and  French  magne- 
tism, and  I  knew,  before  learning  his  history,  that 
in  Raimond  the  qualities  of  both  races  were  mixed. 

After  introducing  many  persons  by  name,  by  de- 
scription, and  by  taking  my  spoken  descriptions  of 
them  as  their  aspects  and  qualities  came  before  my 
eyes,  in  response  to  my  inquiry  as  to  why  my  group 
was  being  so  enlarged,  Pere  Conde  replied : 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    263 

"The  work  we  have  undertaken  with  you  is  very 
difficult.  With  a  very  skeptical  mind  and  a  very 
stubborn  body  poisoned  by  a  disease  pronounced  in- 
curable, we  have  to  make  a  well  strong  body  at- 
tuned to  a  mind  open  to  all  the  several  planes  of 
life  now  accessible  to  incarnate  humans.  Such  a 
labor  demands  a  large  number  of  laborers;  and  our 
method  of  cultivating  union  and  harmony  is  by  the 
employment  of  many  different  workers,  to  each  of 
whom  is  assigned  a  small  part." 

On  February  twenty-fourth  Pere  Conde  told  ma 
that  I  was  about  to  enter  on  the  most  difficult  part 
of  that  portion  of  my  fast,  which  was  devoted  to 
the  destruction  and  removal  of  diseased  tissues  and 
of  poisonous  fluids;  that  it  was  so  severe  that  my 
whole  nature  would  be  in  revolt,  but  that  its  se- 
verity could  not  be  abated  with  safety.  The  Pere 
gave  me  the  most  serious  warnings  against  the  dan- 
ger of  any  reaction,  which  on  February  twenty- 
seventh  were  repeated  with  still  greater  emphasis. 

On  March  fourteenth  Pere  Conde  wrote: 

"The  dinner  that  you  were  allowed  yesterday  has 
yielded  you  both  less  pleasure  and  less  benefit  than 
other  permitted  repasts,  for  three  reasons : 

"First,  you  were  too  insistent  in  regard  to  hav- 
ing it. 

"Second,  you  ate  too  much;  and 

"Third,  you  attach  too  much  importance  to  phys- 
ical things.  But  it  is  my  duty  to  prevent  as  far  as 


264    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

possible  bad  results;  for  this  to  you  is  not  only  a 
period  of  fasting,  but  a  period  of  instruction.  You 
are  at  the  same  time  receiving  revelations  of  un- 
known abilities  within  yourself  and  of  hitherto  un- 
known powers  outside  of  yourself.  Both  have 
really  the  same  origin,  or  rather  manifest  through 
the  same  medium.  Your  hitherto  unknown  abilities 
are  due  to  your  possession  of  an  etheric  body.  The 
hitherto  unknown  powers  proceed  from  the  hitherto 
unknown  Etheric  Plane  of  life." 

The  middle  of  March,  when  total  fast  was  to  be 
extended  to  eight  days,  Pere  Conde  began  his  pre- 
scriptions in  English,  explaining  that  this  was  help- 
ful to  rapport;  and  adding  that  my  preparation  for 
the  next  stage  demanded  that  my  ordinary  work 
for  the  day  should  cease  at  six  o'clock ;  and  I  should 
that  evening  neither  work  in  my  office,  nor  receive 
communications  from  the  Etheric  Plane;  but  that 
I  should  relax  utterly  and  consciously  receive  the 
magnetisms,  which  would  give  me  the  strength  to 
take  the  next  step.  He  advised  me  that  as  the  ab- 
stinences became  more  absolute  and  extended  to  a 
longer  period,  sleep  would  be  reduced  to  one  hour 
in  every  twenty-four  and  that  exercises  would  be 
proportionately  increased  in  number,  duration,  com- 
plexity and  severity. 

March  fifteenth  Pere  Conde  told  me  that  he  had 
held  a  council  of  all  my  helpers,  and  it  had  been  de- 
cided that  what  hindered  their  immediate  progress 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    265 

must  be  stopped  before  clairvoyance  would  come, 
and  that  clairvoyance  must  precede  further  mani- 
festations of  health. 

At  New  Orleans  the  situation  was  very  difficult 
because  of  the  division  of  feeling  about  the  admis- 
sion to  the  Executive  of  the  representatives  of  "The 
National  League  of  Colored  Women,"  which  was  a 
member  of  the  National  Council  of  Women. 

The  labors  of  the  week  were  not  only  heavy  and 
continuous,  but  delicate,  and  every  hour  from  nine 
A.  M.  until  midnight  not  occupied  by  the  formal  ses- 
sions was  filled  with  interviews  and  private  confer- 
ences. 

During  all  the  time  I  was  suffering  a  depleting1 
attack  which  I  supposed  to  be  caused  by  the  change 
in  drinking  water;  and  it  disturbed  me  to  feel  that 
I  could  be  affected  by  such  a  change. 

Before  I  left  Indianapolis  Pere  Conde  had  as- 
sured me  that  I  was  entering  on  the  severest  period 
of  my  fast,  but  I  had  received  no  notion  of  what 
was  before  me. 

I  was  much  perplexed,  almost  as  perplexed,  be- 
cause during  the  day  I  seemed  free  from  this  at- 
tack, as  distressed,  that  during  all  of  every  night  I 
suffered  from  it. 

Again  the  fear  came  that  during  the  past  months 
I  might  have  been  self -deceived ;  but  this  was  over- 
come by  my  consciousness  of  the  presence  of  these 
strong  personalities  to  whose  ceaseless  instructions 
I  owed  so  much.  In  my  most  skeptical  moment  I 


266    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

could  not  yield  my  conviction  of  the  reality  of  these 
friends,  from  whom  I  wished  to  hide  my  fears, 
since,  assuming  their  reality,  every  fear  was  an 
accusation  against  them  of  ignorance  or  treason.  In 
my  bewilderment  and  embarrassment,  Pere  Conde 
spoke: 

"My  child,  I  pity  you;  I  see  all  your  misgivings, 
your  agitations,  which  you  seek  to  hide,  if  you  can 
not  conquer.  They  grieve  us ;  but  we  try  to  remem- 
ber the  difficulty  of  the  test  you  are  bearing.  We 
can  only  say  that  we  are  we;  not  creatures  of  your 
fancy;  not  decoys  projected  from  a  world  of  illu- 
sion for  the  pleasure  of  involving  still  incarnate 
mortals  in  delusions.  We  are  more  consciously 
ourselves,  real  entities,  than  you  are;  because  we, 
our  entities,  have  a  more  developed  power  of  mani- 
festation than  when  incarnated,  we,  therefore,  feel 
more  deeply  wounded  by  having  our  entities  repu- 
diated and  by  being  assailed  as  shadows,  than  you 
would  under  the  same  imputation ;  but  you  will  re- 
turn to  yourself  and  call  your  helpers  back  to  you 
when  you  arrive  at  your  home;  for  there  you  will 
find  that  the  helpers  that  stayed  in  your  home  and 
your  school  while  we  accompanied  you  to  New 
Orleans  have  effected  undeniable  results,  which  with 
your  knowledge  of  the  real  condition  of  affairs  you 
can  contribute  only  to  them;  though  onlookers  will 
call  it  'good  luck'  and  'fortunate  circumstances/ 
etc. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    267 

"To  believe  what  I  tell  you  is  not  credulity;  it 
is  faith;  and  faith  is  the  bread  of  eternal  life." 

Arriving  at  home,  Pere  Conde  explained: 

"What  apparently  was  an  illness  at  New  Orleans 
was  a  purification  of  the  body;  it  was  like  a  bath 
of  the  entire  circulatory  system;  all  impurities  of 
the  blood  were  expelled  and  you  have  thus  been  put 
in  condition  to  experience  a  growth  of  quite  new 
and  pure  flesh,  as  soon  as  the  upbuilding  which  is 
near  at  hand  begins." 

I  was  reminded  that  my  helpers  were  obliged  to 
take  me  through  a  fast  "without  interrupting  or 
lessening  work  on  what  is  called  the  normal  plane," 
and  that,  while  it  would  perhaps  have  been  easier 
for  them  as  well  as  for  me,  to  have  had  this  crisis 
of  purification  occur  when  I  was  at  home,  it  was  not 
compatible  with  the  terms  of  their  contract  to  keep 
me  at  home. 

"It  was  really  best  that  this  should  occur  when 
you  were  in  the  midst  of  exacting  and  imperative 
duties,  which  you  could  not  retire  from  without 
mortification.  Your  responsibility  to  attend  to  those 
duties,  each  as  it  came,  caused  a  continuous  pre- 
occupation of  your  own  thoughts  that  gave  an  ac- 
cessibility to  our  aid  which  otherwise  had  been  im- 
possible. 


268    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

"The  end  of  the  seven  months  assigned  for  the 
novitiate  approaches,  and  you  have  entered  on  the 
final  fast.  There  remain  eleven  days  before  the 
arrival  of  Easter.  During  this  time  you  will  touch 
no  morsel  of  food  except  on  Sunday  morning  when, 
in  your  effort  to  maintain  all  domestic  customs,  you 
will  breakfast  with  your  niece,  where  it  is  better  to 
take  food  and  avoid  criticism  than  to  take  none 
and  incur  criticism  or  even  comment." 

I  protested  that  in  my  reduced  condition  I  could 
not  endure  eleven  more  days  of  total  abstinence 
from  food  except  one  slight  breakfast  Pere  Conde 
replied : 

"Except  for  superhuman  efforts  your  growth 
would  have  been  suspended  during  your  absence 
in  New  Orleans;  you  know  it  was  not.  With  the 
magnetisms  which  we  shall  furnish  you,  you  will 
have  not  the  smallest  need  of  food;  and  if  you  are 
obedient,  normal  habits,  at  least  in  respect  to  food, 
will  be  resumed  on  Easter  Day." 

I  asked  about  a  magnetism  in  which  for  sev- 
eral days  I  had  felt  a  new  influence.  The  Pere 
assured  me  that  it  came  from  the  Celestial  Plane 
through  the  Etheric;  that  on  the  Celestial  Plane 
it  was  the  food  of  power  and  that  when  trans- 
mitted to  an  incarnate  on  earth  it  prevented  both 
hunger  and  thirst. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    269 

"With  this  magnetism  you  will  be  filled,  and  you 
will  be  perfectly  satisfied.  You  will  feel  stronger 
instead  of  weaker  during  all  these  days — clairvoy- 
ance and  clairaudience  will  both  be  sharpened 
by  it." 

In  discussing  the  cleansing  process  to  which  I 
was  being  subjected,  Conde  often  said: 

"Such  renewal  is  costly  but  you  will  find  it  worth 
the  price." 

On  April  ninth  Pere  Conde  declared  his  satisfac- 
tion in  my  maintenance  of  strength  for  labors  con- 
tinuing day  and  night  without  food,  but  added : 

"There  remains  much  to  be  done  before  we  can 
pronounce  you  cured;  but  if  you  continue  your 
efforts,  the  results  are  as  certain  as  that  dawn  suc- 
ceeds night." 

On  April  tenth,  at  5  .-50  A.  M.,  after  I  had  worked 
all  night  in  performing  some  severe  physical  exer- 
cises, Conde  urged  me  to  perform  others  to  which 
I  objected  because  dictated  by  detailed  description, 
they  seemed  difficult  beyond  the  possibility  of  execu- 
tion. He  begged  me  thus  to  prove  my  affectionate 
gratitude  to  Rubinstein  "who  has  grown  spiritually 
almost  as  much  as  you  have  changed  corporeally." 


270    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

Pere  Conde  then  blessed  me,  placing  his  hands  on 
my  head  and  I  saw  him  clearly,  in  the  simple  black 
robe  of  an  ordinary  priest. 

It  was  on  the  eve  of  Good  Friday  that  I  ex- 
perienced a  recurrence  of  the  exhaustion  and  de- 
pression the  first  and  only  other  attack  of  which 
had  occurred  in  November,  as  described  in  an 
earlier  chapter.  Like  the  former  it  lasted  only  a 
half-hour  and  was  dispelled  by  what  seemed  like 
a  forcible  entrance  of  Pere  Conde  into  my  con- 
sciousness with  these  words,  which  appeared  so 
suddenly  on  the  paper  that  I  do  not  clearly  know 
whether  I  held  the  pencil  while  they  were  written 
or  not: 

"April  tenth.  Oh,  my  child,  your  condition  is 
pitiable.  You  have  been  so  filled  with  faith,  with 
efficacious  faith,  with  faith  that  gave  you  strength 
and  wisdom ;  and  now  ?  why,  now  you  actually  doubt 
that  I  exist.  But  you  are  not  deceived.  Every 
promise  made  will  be  fulfilled  a  thousand  times — • 
but  you  must  drink  the  cup." 

On  April  eleventh,  at  5:50  A.  M.,  Pere  Conde 
wrote : 

"This  day  will  be  very  difficult  and  you  will  be 
tempted  to  take  a  little  food  and  to  drink  a  little  too 
much  water.  I  wish  to  protect  you  by  this  an- 
nouncement. You  must  continue  perfectly  abstinent 
because  it  is  true  that  a  great  crisis  draws  near. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    271* 

"The  work  of  this  night  will  finish  the  labor  be- 
gun now  seven  months  ago,  and  to-morrow  you  will 
have  all  the  pleasures  and  privileges  of  a  bountiful 
Easter  table. 

"Moderation  is  always  well  but  you  will  be  per- 
fectly free  and  no  limit  will  be  set  to  your  indul- 
gence in  three  repasts  except  those  set  by  your  own 
judgment;  with  to-morrow  the  work  of  rebuilding 
you  from  head  to  foot  begins ;  and  as  we  must  first 
gather  in  the  material  for  this  rebuilding  you  must 
again  have  vapor  baths  at  least  four  times  a  week 
each  followed  by  an  hour's  massage. 

"There  are  still  many  hard  days,  many  trying1 
experiences  before  you,  but  danger  has  passed  and 
for  the  present  you  shall  be  happy.  Easter  will 
bring  you  many  gifts* — I  see  them  coming  and  see 
your  pleasure  in  them. 

"Pray,  love,  work:  Be  honest  and  simple.  You 
will  not  be  misled  as  you  have  not  been  hitherto." 

On  April  thirteenth,  Easter  Monday,  I  awoke  at 
5  130  A.  M.,  after  more  than  six  hours  of  sleep.  As 
this  was  six  times  what  I  had  for  weeks  been  per- 
mitted to  have,  it  was  with  a  feeling  of  deep  shame 
and  penitence  that  I  realized  my  self-indulgence; 

*0n  Easter  Day  the  expectation  excited  by  this  reference 
to  presents  was  more  than  realized  in  numerous  remem- 
brances from  anxious  friends,  who  testified  to  their  pleasure 
in  my  continued  life  by  gifts,  that  turned  my  whole  house 
into  a  bower.  Many  of  these  gifts  were  accompanied  by  notes 
confessing  that  their  writers  had  not  believed  I  could  live 
until  Easter. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 


but  instantly   from   Pere   Conde  came  the   vocal 
yrords,  later  repeated  for  record  : 

"All  is  well.  Remember  the  Law;  the  more  one 
has  eaten  the  more  sleep  does  he  need. 

"Henceforth  I  shall  for  two  months  continue  my 
daily  prescriptions,  but  I  rtow  indicate  a  choice  that 
will  be  yours,  vis.,  eat  a  little  at  each  of  the  three 
regular  meals,  or  a  little  more  at  each  of  any  two, 
or  heartily  at  one,  taking  the  one  you  most  enjoy." 

The  day  following  Easter  I  received  a  very  long 
letter  with  general  directions  for  the  building-up 
period  ending  with  the  statement: 

"In  your  case  there  are  such  a  multitude  of  ob- 
jects involved  that  one  must  see  from  clay  to  day 
almost  from  hour  to  hour,  which  is  the  most  im- 
portant and  prescribe  accordingly. 

"From  this  time  I  shall  commence  to  speak  regu- 
larly instead  of  writing,  though  you  may  afterward 
write  out  for  record  what  you  have  received  clair- 
audiently," 

On  April  fourteenth,  Pere  Conde  said  : 

"My  own  success  at  this  moment  is  perfect.  Your 
attitude  of  mind  and  the  conditions  of  your  body 
are  exactly  what  I  have  desired." 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    273; 

This  remark  came  in  reply  to  my  deep  disappoint- 
ment, for  now  perfect  liberty  being  restored  I  found 
myself  almost  indifferent  to  food;  the  anticipated 
pleasure  in  such  freedom  was  lacking.  To  my; 
complaints,  Pere  Conde  replied: 

"If  your  appetite  were  as  gratified  by  food  as 
'formerly  you  would  eat  too  much;  and  if  you  re- 
garded food  with  the  same  pleasure  as  formerly 
the  spiritual  experiences  of  the  last  hard  seven 
months  would  be  lost." 

During  the  upbuilding,  when  taking  food,  I  had 
the  most  curious  sensations.  Hardly  had  it  reached 
my  throat  before  I  felt  it  seized  by  thousands  of 
greedy  atoms  competing  for  it.  I  questioned  Pere 
Conde. 

"You  are  quite  right;  the  processes  of  digestion 
liave  all  been  so  rapid  and  so  perfect  that  you  actu- 
ally have  felt  the  process  of  growth,  which  is  a 
process  as  difficult  to  feel  as  to  understand. 

"To  build  is  much  more  difficult  than  to  destroy. 

"To  rebuild  your  mind,  or  rather  to  reshape  your 
attitude  of  mind,  is  far  more  difficult  than  to  re- 
build your  body.  To  hold  your  body  pure,  no  epi- 
curean desire  can  accompany  the  food ;  nor  may  fear 
of  any  evil  consequence  be  associated  with  it. 

"The  most  difficult  part  of  our  remaining  task  is 
to  reline  all  your  nasal  passages,  and  all  the  cavities 


274    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

and  passages  connected  therewith,   with  perfectly 
new  membrane." 

The  varieties  of  magnetism  increased.  They 
were  distinguished  by  their  odors  and  I  frequently 
perceived  these  so  clearly  that  I  feared  others  would 
perceive  them  and  inquire  concerning  their  source; 
but  I  soon  discovered  that  they  were  perceptible  only 
to  clair-sentients. 

I  began  to  be  alarmed.  To  myself  I  looked  more 
ill  than  I  had  ever  looked  before.  My  eyes  looked 
dull,  my  voice  grew  husky,  and  I  felt  heavy  and  mis- 
erable. After  a  day  of  these  sensations  and  obser- 
vations, I  demanded  an  explanation.  Conde  agreed 
that  these  symptoms  all  existed  but  said  they  were 
temporary,  and  resulted  from  my  being  compelled 
to  take  great  quantities  of  food  because  his  need  of 
building  materials  was  so  great. 

On  April  twenty-third  Pere  Conde  told  me  that 
my  perception  of  odors  which  was  increasing  in 
keenness  was  what  enabled  me  to  perceive  the  route 
I  was  going  and  that  I  certainly  knew  I  should  pub- 
lish the  history  of  my  unusual  experience. 

On  that  night  I  received  from  more  than  a  dozen 
of  its  participants  interesting  reports  of  a  council 
that  had  been  convened  by  Conde  to  discuss  my 
case.  After  each  had  written  concerning  what  most 
interested  himself,  Pere  Conde  resumed: 

"It  is  impossible  for  you  to  understand  all  this 
at  once,  but  gradually  as  your  condition  improves 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 


your  perceptions  will  open  to  understand  and  to 
demonstrate  all  that  we  have  indicated. 

"The  hardest  part  remains  though  the  most  dan* 
gerous  has  been  passed.  Hardest  because  it  will 
more  and  more  grow  interior  from  day  to  day; 
until  at  last  you  will  have  joined  the  body  with  the 
spirit  in  each  remote  part  and  the  harmony  of  the 
machine  shall  have  become  perfect. 

"Your  order  now  is  to  continue  the  present  regi- 
men a  little  exaggerated  ;  i.  e.,  take  the  three  repasts 
daily  and,  if  convenient,  four.  Eat  much;  drink 
much,  particularly  of  black  coffee.  On  the  first  of 
May  your  diet  will  be  much  refined.  You  will  con- 
tinue to  take  three  daily  meals,  but  no  fish  and  no 
vegetables  except  those  absolutely  fresh  and  newly 
grown;  cereals,  fruits  and  dishes  most  delicately 
made.  You  will  continue  to  drink  coffee  but  not 
so  frequently,  not  so  strong;  you  will  add  tea  to 
your  dietary.  You  will  need  this  delicate  stimula- 
tion. After  June  tenth,  I  hope  you  will  be  very 
moderate  in  all  the  exercises  of  your  life.'* 

All  that  Pere  Conde  had  said  of  the  ill  effects  of 
coffee  and  tea  led  me  to  protest.  He  assured  me 
that  I  then  needed  the  stimulants,  that  he  should 
counteract  the  poisonous  element  they  contained, 
by  effective  magnetisms.  He  added  : 

"Yes,  it  is  curious,  but  true;  and  only  slowly  will 
you  be  able  to  perceive,  to  retain,  and  to  under- 
stand what  I  say  of  magnetism. 


276    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

"Remain  a  long-  time  in  the  bath  this  evening, 
and  to-morrow  remain  one  hour  in  the  vapor  cabi- 
net." 

Beginning  May  fifth  my  hours  for  sleep  were  in- 
creased in  order,  as  Conde  explained,  that  "the 
three  great  batteries"  (himself,  my  husband  and 
Rubinstein)  might  pour  out  their  magnetisms  when 
I  was  perfectly  relaxed  and  therefore  receptive, 

"The  necessity  for  sleep  is  measured  by  the  quan- 
tity of  food  and  this  last  month,  from  May  tenth 
to  June  eleventh,  will  in  respect  to  food  be  very 
severe.  During  this  month  you  should  sleep  for 
even  five  hours  consecutively,  not  more.  We  are 
giving  you  a  great  quantity  of  magnetism  of  many 
varieties,  including  that  of  repose,  but  even  the  large 
quantity  of  this  that  I  shall  give  you  does  not  substi- 
tute all  the  sleep  you  need  at  present." 

During  this  period  what  I  learned  to  call  mag- 
netic slumber  was  often  indulged  in;  and  I  was  told 
that  Pere  Conde,  who  alone  could  induce  it,  would 
use  every  moment  not  otherwise  well  employed  in 
such  sleep.  Sometimes  it  was  induced  when  I  did 
not  wish  it ;  and  once  after  sleeping  through  a  long 
essay  read  at  a  club  by  one  of  my  friends  I  pro- 
tested that  I  had  not  wished  to  sleep  then.  But 
the  Pere  assured  me  that  not  one  thought  had  been 
presented  with  which  I  was  not  perfectly  familiar, 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    277 

and  promised  that,  while  I  was  so  pressed  for  time, 
although  he  must  use  in  magnetic  sleep  every  mo- 
ment that  could  be  spared,  he  would  never  induce 
such  sleep  to  my  loss  of  anything  either  trifling  or 
important  which  I  did  not  already  know.  I  believe 
that  that  promise  was  faithfully  kept,  but  I  was 
often  mortified  by  unintentional  sleep.  I,  however, 
became  gradually  conscious  that  even  occasional 
minutes  of  solitude  that  occurred  during  the  day, 
and  interims  between  classes  (which  seldom  ex- 
ceeded five  minutes)  were  utilized  to  secure  refresh- 
ing sleep;  although,  very  seldom  during  this  period 
was  I  conscious  of  desiring  sleep. 
From  the  same  letter  I  quote: 

"From  the  beginning  of  time,  always  the  spirit} 
has  preceded  the  body,  and  there  is  not  simply  one 
spirit  in  one  body  in  a  mortal,  but  every  morsel,  ev- 
ery atom  of  what  you  call  a  person,  possesses  a 
spirit  and  a  body. 

"Having  denuded  your  skeleton  of  its  old  gar- 
ments you  must  clothe  it  anew  and  this  new  robe 
is  to  be  partly  constructed  of  food.  When  youp 
new  robe  is  created  and  adjusted,  a  prescription 
will  be  given  for  keeping  it  in  repair." 

I  was  really  much  more  frightened  by  the  quan- 
tity and  stimulating  character  of  the  food  pre- 
scribed for  me  after  Easter  Monday  than  I  hadi 
been  by  the  severest  stipulations  of  abstinence,-  and 


278    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

I  quote  these  words  from  my  constant  observer  and 
critic  as  they  disclose  my  mental  attitude  better  than 
any  direct  statement  of  mine  could. 

"I  do  think  it  amusing  that  at  the  end  of  a  seven 
months'  fast  of  almost  unprecedented  severity,  one 
day's  eating  should  fill  you  with  anxiety  and  dis- 
gust" 

The  day  following  Easter  I  was  told  that  a  new 
corps  of  helpers  would  be  presented  to  me,  the  divi- 
sion of  labor  on  the  Etheric  Plane  being  so  exact 
that  those  who  would  aid  my  rebuilding  must  be 
entirely  different  from  those  who  had  participated 
in  the  destruction  of  my  body: 

"Just  as  different  as  on  the  plane  of  manual  labon 
are  the  scavengers  and  wagoners  who  haul  away  the 
old  materials,  from  the  architects,  masons  and  car- 
penters who  put  up  a  new  structure  on  the  cleared 
off  old  site, 

"To  continue  the  simile:  You  do  not  expect 
to  know  by  name  the  day  laborers  who  cart  off 
debris;  but  the  architect  and  contractor  have  an  in- 
dividual claim  on  the  acquaintance  of  their  em- 
ployer. As  many  nameless  ones  have  wrought  for 
you  during  the  seven  months  devoted  to  destruction, 
now  many  important  upbuilders  enter  your  sphere 
and  establish  themselves  in  your  service  for  the  rest 
of  your  term,  whose  names,  personality  and  indi- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    279 

vidual  share  in  the  work,  you  must  know;  so,  only, 
can  these  serve. 

"Among  these,  one  of  the  most  important  is  be- 
ing1 installed  as  an  assistant  to  Mesmer;  his  one 
service  will  be  to  supply  a  magnetism  that  will  re- 
store to  its  highest  vigor  mucous  membrane.  It 
is  to  him  and  to  Mesmer  that  you  will  owe  your  re- 
stored sense  of  smell,  since  it  is  upon  this  membrane 
that  the  ends  of  myriads  of  nerves  impinge  through 
which  this  peculiar  sense  of  smell  is  communicated 
to  the  physical  consciousness." 

I  was  assured  that  more  than  a  score  of  expert 
upbuilders  were  working  with  me  Constantly  and 
double  that  number  for  me ;  and  it  is  quite  true  that 
their  presence  was  much  more  disturbing  than  had 
been  that  of  the  destroyers.  Sometimes  I  felt  re- 
duced to  the  limit  of  my  endurance  by  the  draught 
which  their  labors  seemed  to  make  on  my  strength ; 
but  when  I  complained  and  asked  that  their  work 
might  be  temporarily  suspended  I  wasl  told  re- 
peatedly orally — the  substance  of  what  was  phrased 
for  record,  thus : 

"The  process  of  building  is  much  finer  and  of 
necessity  a  much  greater  strain  on  its  subject  than 
the  process  of  tearing  down.  Indeed  the  latter 
which  your  experience  for  the  last  seven  months 
leads  you  to  regard  as  seriously;  difficult,  is,  by 
comparison,  easy." 


280    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

During  this  period  the  magnetic  sleep  given  mei 
while  in  the  long  hot  baths  was  one  of  my  greatest 
luxuries,  though  it  was  a  great  test  of  the  nerves 
and  also  of  the  fidelity  of  my  masseuse,  who  had 
never  heard  of  baths  an  hour  long,  neither  of  a 
patient's  sleeping  during  a  bath;  but  on  awakening 
perfectly  well  and  rested,  I  met  her  protests  by 
assuring  her  that  I  was  following  as  strictly  as  pos- 
sible the  advice  of  the  wisest  physician  of  my  ac- 
quaintance, whose  prescriptions  were  most  carefully 
written  out  in  full.  I  partially  overcame  her  fears 
by  repeating  this  assurance  at  least  once  a  week 
during  her  long  and  faithful  service.  I  here  grate- 
fully acknowledge  that  she  controlled  her  curiosity 
as  to  the  identity  of  this  wise  physician  better  than 
any  one  else  who  ever  questioned  me  about  him  at 
all. 

Rapport  with  my  great  teachers  and  with  my  hus- 
band seemed  to  diminish  toward  the  end  of  April; 
and  I  complained  that  I  was  less  sure  than  formerly 
whether  the  ideas  new  to  me,  and  ideas  on  subjects 
not  formerly  considered  by  me  at  all,  proceeded 
from  my  own  mind  or  from  theirs.  My  husband 
explained  the  situation  thus : 

"As  rapport  increases  it  will  become  more  difficult 
for  you  to  distinguish  between  your  thoughts  and 
our  suggestions.  There  will  all  the  time  be  fewer 
obstructions  to  prevent  their  inflow. 

"In  a  certain  sense  all  thought  is  one,  and  when 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    281 

you  have  received  a  thought  it  is  yours;  and  when 
you  receive  it  without  difficulty  it  seems  to  have 
originated  in  your  mind.  We  do  not  wish  the 
credit  of  originating  or  communicating  your  ideas 
but  we  do  not  wish  this  very  circumstance  which 
should  increase  your  faith  in  us  to  be  turned  into 
an  occasion  of  skepticism." 

This  statement  was  followed  by  numerous  tests 
of  my  ability  to  receive  impressions  about  food, 
drink,  bathing,  exercise,  music,  magnetism,  etc., 
without  the  intervention  of  a  word  or  of  any  per- 
ceptible passage  of  time. 

A  few  days  later  came  explanations  of  newly  ar- 
rived sensations. 

"You  feel  us  working  with  your  hands  because 
we  work  with  those  last  and  waken  you  just  as 
we  withdraw. 

"The  sensations  you  describe  are  caused  by  the 
efforts  of  Rubinstein  who  has  called  to  his  aid 
other  masters.  These  have  united  their  forces  to 
fill  every  cell  and  every  interstice  between  cells  in 
your  body  with  harmonic  magnetism. 

"Yes,  if  we  accomplish  our  purpose  your  eyes 
will  become  better  than  they  ever  were  at  their  very 
best  and  you  will  dispense  with  spectacles  entirely.*" 


*Ten  years  previous  our  reputed  best  oculist  had  equipped 
me  with  five  pairs  of  glasses  for  various  uses,  one  for  read- 
ing only  very  fine  print;  and  had  assured  me  that  partial  if  not 
total  blindness  was  inevitable  on  account  of  what  he  called  a 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 


The  Saturday  before  Easter  after  the  weekly 
weighing  and  measuring  which  had  been  directed  at 
the  beginning  of  Pere  Conde's  treatment  in  Septem- 
ber, I  compared  the  record  not  as  usual  with  that  of 
the  previous  Saturday,  but  with  that  of  September 
nth,  1902.  On  the  latter  date  I  had  weighed  one 
hundred  eighty-nine  pounds  and  had  a  waist  meas- 
ure of  thirty-six  inches.  I  now,  at  one  hundred 
eleven  pounds  weight  and  a  measure  of  twenty-five 
inches,  rejoiced  over  the  loss  of  seventy-eight  pounds 
of  flesh  and  eleven  inches  of  girtH.  The  Saturday 
following  Easter  showed  a  gain  of  six  pounds. 
Discussing  this  with  Pere  Conde  I  was  disappointed 
by  what  was  implied  in  these  words  : 

"Within  these  two  months  you  will  be  upbuilt 
only  to  the  extent  that  the  new  material  will  be 
gathered  and  stored  within  your  body  for  the  use 
of  the  builders  who  have  its  entire  reparation  in 
charge." 

curious  construction  of  the  eye  for  which  "there  is  no  remedy," 
which  would  in  time  make  all  spectacles  next  to  useless.  Al- 
ready four  pairs  of  my  glasses  had  become  useless  ;  and  I 
used  the  lenses  that  had  been  made  for  fine  print  on  coarse 
print  only,  being  unable  to  read  fine  print  at  all.  It  was  there- 
fore with  not  much  hope  that  I  received  this  statement. 

The  recovery  of  my  eyes  is  quite  a  separate  story;  but  as 
a  matter  of  fact,  the  restoration  of  vision  was  undertaken 
and  from  1905  I  have  read  coarse  print  without  lenses.  For 
two  years  I  continued  the  use  of  my  coarse-print  spectacles 
for  fine  print  only;  but  in  1907  all  artificial  aids  were  aban- 
doned having  become  unnecessary,  and  during  these  last 
twelve  years  my  eyes,  quite  without  glasses  of  any  sort,  have 
been  subjected  to  the  hardest  as  well  as  the  most  continuous 
use  they  have  ever  known,  on  all  kinds  of  print  and  script  in 
various  languages. 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    283 

On  June  tenth  I  was  told  by  Pere  Conde  that  the 
material  had  been  gathered,  but  owing  to  some  hind- 
rances caused  by  preoccupations  and  by  some  in- 
stances of  disobedience,  that  it  had  not  been  well 
stored  and  that  practically  three  weeks  had  been  lost. 
This  information  was  softened  by  these  words : 

"Although  this  period  of  upbuilding  has  experi- 
enced some  vicissitudes,  it  has  on  the  whole  been 
characterized  by  remarkable  conformity  to  indica- 
tions from  this  plane." 

On  June  twenty-second  I  was  told  by  my  hus- 
band that  I  should  receive  no  more  communicationg 
from  the  Etheric  Plane  until  July  first. 

"We  shall  all  be  serving  you  on  this  plane,  but 
in  ways  that  render  this  form  of  communication 
difficult  and  inadvisable. 

"The  letters  you  will  receive  for  the  next  few 
months  are  written  at  great  cost  not  only  to  their 
respective  writers  but  to  the  entire  group  of  your 
helpers;  and  will  be  written  only  when,  in  spite  of 
this,  Pere  Conde  has  the  conviction  that,  on  the 
whole,  it  is  better  to  write  for  exact  record." 

To  my  protest  against  such  severe  efforts  the 
reply  was: 

"You  need  not  feel  badly  over  our  effort;  over: 


the  cost  to  us;  it  is  an  investment  we  choose  to 
make." 

July  was  marked  by  some  important  changes  in 
the  severe  exactions.  On  July  tenth  Pere  Conde 
wrote : 

"Our  specific  work  will  continue  until  September 
tenth.  We  really  gave  ourselves  a  full  year  for 
recreating  a  diseased  human  body  and  for  so  instruct- 
ing a  human  soul,  that  by  virtue  of  its  new  develop- 
ment in  a  knowledge  of  the  fine  forces  of  nature, 
its-  now  habitable  tenement  will  be  kept  in  repair. 
We  therefore  shall  continue  our  specific  work  for 
two  months." 

On  August  eleventh  there  was  a  celebration  of 
the  anniversary  of  the  introduction  of  my  great 
masters,  by  important  and  numerous  letters;  from 
one  of  these  I  quote: 

"You  have  thought  that  your  regimen  would  be 
continued  until  August  eleventh.  Even  until  Sep- 
tember eleventh  shall  we  work,  even  until  our  work 
is  accomplished.  .  .  . 

"Mesmer  has  still  much  to  do ;  as  have ;  and 

our  dear  Pere,  who  has  assembled  all  these  assist- 
ants,* will  retain  a  special  coterie  of  generators  of 


*New  workers  were  enumerated,  some  of  whom  were  pre- 
sented, but  their  names  will  adorn  a  subsequent  story  as 
their  labors  have  enriched  subsequent  years, 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    285 

magnetism  and  will  devote  his  energies,  augmented 
by  theirs,  to  putting  you  into  possession  of  your 
present  possible  maximum  of  force  creative  and  re- 
sistive; for  you  must  know  how,  by  a  skilful  use 
of  constructive  magnetism,  to  create  beneficent  con- 
ditions for  yourself  and  through  an  equally  skilful 
use  of  destructive  magnetism  you  must  learn  to  ap- 
ply such  to  the  destruction  and  conquest  of  evil 
limitations." 

During  this  period  my  work  in  what  my  readers 
would  regard  the  normal  world  was  increasingly 
difficult.  I  had  kept  one  secretary  steadily  employed 
in  Council  work  for  weeks  prior  to  the  close  of  the 
school  on  the  first  Wednesday  in  June,  1903.  From 
that  date  I  directed  two  secretaries  in  this  work  at 
the  same  time  that  I  was  busy  with  the  usual  prepa- 
rations for  the  next  school  year. 

As  a  meeting  of  the  Executive  of  the  Interna- 
tional Council  of  Women  had  been  convened  in 
Dresden  for  the  third  week  of  August  of  that  year, 
I  sailed  for  Europe  early  in  that  month,  returning 
the  middle  of  September  to  enter  upon  a  year  of 
continuous  twofold  activity. 

What  must  have  been  my  physical  condition  that 
such  double  labor  for  school  and  Council  could  be 
performed  without  fatigue?  To  whom  and  to  what 
did  I  owe  this  restoration?  In  the  enjoyment  of  a 
constantly  improving  health  I  was  satisfied  until 
a.  critical  friend  reminded  me  that  "only  a  physician 


286    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

could  really  know  whether  the  disease  had  been 
cured." 

Then  my  condition  was  subjected  to  the  same 
kind  of  inspection  by  the  same  chemist  through  the 
same  physician  whose  report  of  his  analytical  tests 
had  condemned  me  as  the  victim  of  an  "incurable 
malady."  To  him  of  course  my  identity  with  the 
condemned  patient  was  not  disclosed;  but  when  to 
the  same  physician  who  had  brought  me  the  first 
verdict  he  sent  reports  of  "perfect  normality"  the 
only  remark  of  the  good  physician  and  kind  friend 
was  that  the  "diagnosis  in  the  first  instance  must 
have  been  incorrect  But,"  she  added,  "you  looked 
the  malady." 

This  kind  and  able  woman  doctor  did  express  a 
deep  interest  in  the  agencies  which  had  been  em- 
ployed to  secure  what  she  called  my  "apparent  re- 
storation"; but  I  was  not  then  prepared  to  reveal 
what  this  volume  discloses. 

On  September  eleventh,  I  held  a  large  and  mem- 
orable reception  for  my  great  teachers,  which  lasted 
all  night,  during  which  I  received  many  letters  "for 
record."  The  last  sentence  in  Pere  Conde's  "letter 
for  record"  of  that  date,  is: 

"You  have  passed  another  great  crisis,  but  again : 
THE  END  is  but  a  BEGINNING." 

Having  tested  the  reality  of  my  teachers  and  the 
validity  of  their  instructions  by  the  continued  con- 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING    287 

scious  experience  of  more  than  seventeen  difficult 
years  since  the  restoration  of  my  health  by  their 
patient  skill,  I  now  submit  the  story  of  the  first  year 
of  my  conscious  intimacy  with  them  with  the  hope 
that  it  will  not  pass  without  beneficent  influence  on 
its  readers. 


THE    END 


Appendix 

Psychic  Law 


LECTURE  I 

SPIRIT  RETURN 

44'T^  HIS  is  the  beginning  of  a  series  of  lessons 
JL  on  Psychic  Law  and  reveals  the  mystery  of 
what  is  commonly  known  as  'Spirit  Return/  Here 
am  I,  who  died  nearly  seven  years  ago,  talking  to 
you  just  as  a  deaf  mute  who  knew  how  to  write 
would  talk,  for  death  has  removed  me  to  a  plane 
where  I  miss  the  atmosphere  that  conveys  sounds. 
This  atmosphere  being  absent,  a  mortal  voice  and 
mortal  ears  are  no  longer  useful;  but  a  new  atmos- 
phere, the  etheric,  is  susceptible  to  vibrations  from 
both  your  plane  and  mine.  Therefore  when  you 
speak  in  a  voice  and  manner  that  awaken  ether 
I  can  catch  it;  and  when  I  can  put  an  etheric  wave 
in  motion,  I  am  audible  to  you.  Now  lay  aside  this 
book  and  take  a  new  one  dedicated  to  this  subject, 
"You  will  be  inspired,  i.  e.,  moved,  to  say  the 
fitting  word.  I  am  merely  your  interpreter.  Your 
teacher  is  the  greatest  expounder  of  Psychic  Law  on, 
this  plane,  nameless  yet  to  you.  I  am  his  pupil; 
and  by  interpreting  his  instructions  I  become  your 
teacher  by  proxy." 

After  some  work  that  was  unsatisfactory  to  me; 
in  response  to  my  complaint  and  my  incredulity,  my 
husband  wrote : 

291! 


292    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

"You  are  getting  the  main  ideas  correctly;  but 
the  truth  is  I  tried  to  give  you  the  thoughts  and 
leave  the  words  to  you;  and  you  are  not  yet  quite 
ready  for  that  You  yet  desire  Verbal  inspiration' ; 
what  many  people,  you  included,  have  deemed  im- 
possible. I  think  impression — by  which  I  mean 
inspiration  of  thought  only — is  the  most  desirable 
form  of  communication;  but  your  fear  that  you  will 
misunderstand  the  thought  compels  me  to  resort  to 
yerbal  dictation." 

Beginning  of  Lecture  Proper 

"The  world  has  grown  skeptical  of  immortality  or 
holds  the  doctrine  in  such  superstitious  regard  that 
any  intelligent  attempt  to  prove  it  is  deemed  blas- 
phemous. 

"I  shall  assume  that  you  know  that  good  and  sim- 
ple souls,  devout  and  God-fearing,  have  from  the 
beginning  of  historic  time  claimed  a  knowledge  of 
immortality.  How  has  such  knowledge  been 
gained?  Exactly  as  any  knowledge  of  a  foreign 
country  has  been  gained,  vis. :  by  going  thither  or 
by  receiving  thence  intelligent  guests  capable  of  giv- 
ing an  accurate  account  of  what  they  have  wit- 
nessed and  experienced. 

"Just  as  one  who  has  been  to  another  country  has 
usually  much  to  say  that  is  of  little  interest,  so 
much  of  little  interest  has  been  reported  from  the 
next  plane  of  life. 

"It  does  not  reduce  the  fascination  of  the  courts, 


APPENDIX  293 

cathedrals,  galleries,  museums  and  scenery  of  Eu- 
rope that  many  returned  travelers  tell  you  only  of 
its  restaurants,  prisons  and  slums  and  that  many 
of  its  natives  who  come  hither  have  apparently 
been  blind  and  deaf  to  the  historic  associations  and 
the  artistic  treasures  of  the  lands  whence  they  have 
come. 

"If  many  people  who  claim  in  a  trance  state  to 
have  gotten  a  foretaste  of  the  land  that  lies  on  the 
other  side  of  death  seem  not  much  to  have  profited 
by  the  experience  and  as  many  mortals  who  claim 
to  have  returned  thence  bring  information  of  small 
value,  this  no  more  discounts  the  facts  of  continuity 
of  life  and  of  the  wealth  of  the  resources  of  its  next 
plane  than  does  the  ignorance  of  immigrants  or 
the  frivolity  of  summer  tourists  discount  to  the 
minds  of  intelligent  Americans  the  existence  and  the 
resources  of  Europe  and  the  Orient. 

"The  important  thing  is  to  learn  the  route  by 
which  to  reach  Europe  and  the  Orient  that  we  may 
see  and  hear  for  ourselves.  So  the  important  thing 
is  that  we  shall  know  the  law  by  which  one  may 
enter  and  explore  the  life  beyond  the  grave. 

"A  spirit  after  the  dissolution  of  the  bond  that 
confines  it  within  the  body  experiences  no  change 
of  essence  or  of  character.  The  only  changes  are 
in  its  environment  and  in  its  capacity  for  move- 
ment and  for  communication.  It  finds  itself  un- 
jclothed  of  flesh  but  clothed  upon  with  as  real  a 
body  of  finer  texture  which  we  may  name  ether* 


294    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

This  word,  a  few  years  ago  unknown  and  more 
lately  uncomprehended,  we  now  know  names  a  stuff 
capable  of  analysis  and  description  and  adapted  to 
as  definite  a  use  in  the  unfolding  of  humanity  as  is 
the  physical  atmosphere,  some  elements  of  which 
have  now  for  centuries  been  known  to  man. 

"Ether  is  a  fluid  that  interpenetrates  the  air;  it 
is  indeed  that  element  in  air  which  has  escaped  the 
analytical  chemist ;  it  is  a  compound  substance  whose 
elements  are  not  yet  discernible  or  tangible  to  mor- 
tal comprehension.  It  is  a  finer  atmosphere  sur- 
rounding as  well  as  interpenetrating  the  atmosphere 
which  we  breathe  and  in  which  we  find  the  elements 
that  sustain  our  mortal  bodies.  It  is  the  inhalation 
of  the  ether  within  the  atmosphere  by  the  mind 
within  the  body  that  keeps  the  mind  in  vital  relation 
with  its  fleshly  encasement. 

"Death  is  the  severing  of  the  etheric  bond.  Death 
separates  the  triune  tenant  from  the  body  by  the 
fact  that  the  tenant  is  thus  cut  off  from  its  connec- 
tion with  the  ether  within  the  atmosphere.  The 
triune  tenant  is  sometimes  called  spirit,  sometimes 
soul  by  those  who,  without  knowledge,  believe  in 
soul  as  the  permanent  substance  of  the  human.  It 
is  usually  called  mind  by  those  who  realize  the 
tenant  only  through  its  ability  to  acquire  knowl- 
edge and  who  further  believe  that  the  mind's  only 
source  of  knowledge  or  the  sole  mediums  of  its 
acquisition  are  the  bodily  senses. 

"The  tenant  thus  disembodied  (unhoused)  finds 


APPENDIX 


itself  to  be  still  itself,  moved  by  the  same  emotions, 
passions  and  aspirations  as  when  incarnated.  It 
finds  every  mental  emotional  and  spiritual  aptitude 
quickened  by  its  release  from  the  flesh.  It  soon 
realizes  that  the  flesh  which,  while  it  remained  on 
earth,  was  its  chief  instrument,  was  also  its  chief 
obstruction.  Relieved  of  this  impediment,  that  is 
of  this  body  with  its  carnal  passions,  which  must 
always  be  distinguished  from  the  passions  of  the 
soul,  the  tenant  naturally  sets  about  the  task  of 
learning  all  that  is  learnable  about  its  new  condi- 
tions, and  if  it  has  strong  ties  with  those  who  still 
remain  on  earth,  it  sets  about  the  task  of  readjust- 
ing its  relationships.  This,  disembodied  spirits  have 
been  trying  to  do  for  countless  ages,  and,  just  as 
on  earth,  there  is  at  least  no  historic  age  that  has 
not  produced  illuminated  men  and  women  who  have 
solved  the  question  of  the  origin  and  the  destiny  of 
man,  vaguely  perhaps,  but  nobly  still,  so  in  the  life 
on  the  other  side  of  the  grave  also  since  death  first 
was,  the  law  of  evolution  has  been  working  and 
severed  souls  have  sought  return  and  again  and 
again  have  done  so  successfully;  but  just  as  with  in- 
ventions and  discoveries  on  earth,  one  age  has 
sought  out  and  another  age  has  availed  itself  of  dis- 
covery or  applied  the  invention;  so,  here  what  the 
independent  seekers  found,  what  the  gigantic  in- 
ventors have  made,  have  remained  necessarily  in- 
operative until,  in  fulness  of  time,  an  age  should 
come,  a  day,  this  day,  when  in  increasing  numbers 


296    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

those  who  have  experienced  death  try  to  return  to 
earth. 

"Desire  always  precedes  attainment  A  desire 
must  be  approximately  universal  before  an  attain- 
ment can  be  reached  by  numbers  of  appreciable  con- 
sequence. 

"Human  affection  is  as  subject  to  evolutionary 
law  as  is  any  other  human  quality.  The  germs  of 
affections  exist  in  all  created  beings,  human  and 
subhuman;  but  their  development  and  their  in- 
tensity depend  upon  the  stage  of  evolution  reached. 
Only  within  recent  centuries  have  human  affections 
approximated  maturity;  so  only  within  the  same 
period  have  human  affections,  with  any  degree  of 
universality,  survived  death  and  sent  thoughts  of 
longing  back  to  earth.  As  the  numbers  feeling  these 
longings  have  increased  and  as  they  have  united  to 
concentrate  upon  the  Earth  Plane,  where  loved  ones 
have  been  left,  the  Magnetic  Force  of  Mass,  which  is 
a  law  equally  effective  on  all  planes,  has  operated  to 
draw  the  longings  of  survivors  to  the  plane  imme- 
diately reached  through  death,  where  ether,  as  an 
atmosphere  and  a  life-sustaining  element,  takes  the 
place  of  air  as  an  atmosphere  and  as  the  life  sustain- 
ing factor  in  mortal  environment. 

"We  have  said  that  it  is  through  ether's  being 
inhaled  by  the  mind,  so  to  speak,  that  the  mind  is 
held  in  the  body  at  all.  After  death,  connection 
with  the  air,  the  atmosphere,  is  quite  relinquished, 
because  that  air  is  used  only  by  the  mortal  body,  but 


APPENDIX 


the  mind  still  is  sustained  by  ether,  and  consequently 
the  mind  has  the  power  to  relate  the  pure  ether  in 
the  realm  which  succeeds  death  to  the  ether,  which 
exists  on  this  plane  of  life  only  as  an  envelope  of 
our  atmosphere  and  as  an  interpenetrating  fluid, 
still  unrecognized  by  most  incarnate  humans,  and 
still  not  analyzed  by  any.  Thus  the  mind,  after 
death,  by  long  series  of  experimentations,  finds 
itself  capable  of  returning  to  the  Earth  Plane,  so 
to  speak,  by  the  etheric  route.  On  this  plane  we 
have  great  volumes  of  accumulated  proof  that  ex- 
carnate  humans  for  ages  have,  in  increasing  num- 
bers, tried  to  find  the  return  route  to  earth.  Not 
until  those  left  on  earth  were  far  enough  developed 
affectionally  and  spiritually  to  respond  in  propor- 
tionate numbers  to  that  longing,  was  the  discovery, 
which  was  known  to  Socrates  and  which  antedates 
his  time,  made  available  for  the  common  use  of 
humanity.  Let  me  introduce  a  simile:  Long  be- 
fore the  age  of  Columbus  the  eyes  of  many  a  daunt- 
less explorer  had  been  turned  to  the  world  beyond 
the  seas.  In  prehistoric  times  the  way  had  been 
found,  as  we  now  know,  by  the  prehistoric  remains 
of  lofty  ancient  civilizations  which  prove  them  to 
be  allied  with  Aryan  civilizations  of  antiquity,  but 
not  yet  was  this  Western  World  the  property  of 
the  world  as  a  whole.  Ages  passed  by  and  the 
Phoenicians  found  these  shores  ;  but,  at  such  expense 
of  suffering  and  of  treasure  that  it  paid  them  bet- 
ter to  confine  their  expeditions  to  nearer  territory. 


298    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

More  ages  passed;  and  tHe  sturdy  Northmen  came. 
Little  cared  those  hardy  adventurers  for  suffering; 
less  still  for  cost,  for  they  had  no  luxurious  uses 
for  their  wealth;  but  still  the  shores  were  too  re- 
mote, too  unknown  and  too  destitute  of  immediate 
return  to  serve  as  a  lure  for  either  Europe  or  the 
East;  and  the  Western  World  slumbered  for  cen- 
turies longer — until  Columbus  came ;  and  even  then, 
so  futile  compared  to  his  effort  seemed  his  labors, 
that  another  century  rolled  by  before  Europe  as  a 
whole  was  awakened  to  the  fact  that  half  of  the 
world  was  yet  untrod  by  her  sons  and  that  the  hour 
had  struck  which  should  mark  her  awakening  to 
the  existence  and  the  availability  of  this  New  World 
beyond  the  Western  Seas. 

"Similar  to  this  is  the  story  of  the  Conquest  of 
Earth  by  departed  spirits  and  the  Conquest  of  Death 
by  surviving  friends. 

"Socrates  knew  that  death  did  not  of  necessity 
divide  two  realms.  The  Immortality  he  taught  was 
an  immortality  that  gave  the  soul  of  man  the  prom- 
ise of  conscious  possession  of  prenatal  realms,  and 
also  of  earth  after  death  as  well  as  before  it.  Soc- 
rates also  knew  as  a  theory  what  has  been  here  said 
of  ether.  Ages  passed  and  Swedenborg,  following 
Socrates  even  as  Columbus  followed  the  Norsemen, 
and  as  the  Norsemen  followed  the  Phoenicians,  be- 
gan to  make  available  the  discoveries  of  a  prior  age. 
Swedenborg  knew  that  his  was  no  discovery  in  the 
sense  of  uncovering  a  hitherto  concealed  fact.  His 


APPENDIX  '299 

was  a  re-cliscovery  for  the  benefit  of  the  common 
mind  of  what  Socrates  had  discovered  only  to 
philosophers. 

"Three  centuries  passed  and  what  Swedenborg 
had  brought  within  the  knowledge  of  the  learned 
men  of  Europe  a  little  band  of  unintentional  in- 
vestigators brought  within  the  vision  of  a  wider 
but  less  Cultivated  circle  in  America.  Because  so 
uncultivated,  so  crude,  so  simple,  the  world  refused 
its  credence,  but  nevertheless  the  discovery  created 
interest;  it  gained  adherents,  and  at  last  the  effort 
to  know  has  become  at  least  respectable  through  the 
establishment  of  The  Society  for  Psychic  Research. 

"This  society  has  wrought  a  good  work,  but  so 
great  has  been  the  desire  of  its  members  to  guard 
against  delusions  that  its  energies  have  to  a  degree 
been  paralyzed  by  a  caution  which  is  not  far  re- 
moved from  fear. 

"At  last,  many  simple  people,  investigating  only 
for  the  solace  of  their  wounded  hearts,  have  experi- 
enced an  unanticipated  illumination  of  intellect  and 
they  know  the  Etheric  Plane  exactly  as  others  know 
the  existence  of  the  Atlantic — because  they  have 
crossed  it.  They  know  the  land,  the  realm,  the 
plane,  the  condition  beyond  death  exactly — to  con- 
tinue the  parallel — as  others  know  the  lands  that 
border  the  eastern  shore  of  the  Atlantic;  because 
they  have  visited  them,  or  because  they  have  held 
£lose  converse  with  those  whose  home  is  there  and 
who  are  wonted  to  its  conditions,  its  occupations, 


300    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

its  views,  its  current  thought.  Just  as  the  Atlantic, 
which  once  was  only  a  name  in  human  ears  signify- 
ing something  vast  and  vague,  and  indicating  a  bar- 
rier, an  eternal  separation,  has  become  familiar  to 
our  youngest  children,  who  alone,  without  mother 
or  nurse,  can  cross  it  safely  in  any  good  captain's 
care — so  ether,  still  to  many  a  name  given,  as  they 
suppose,  by  the  overwrought  fancy  to  a  non-existing 
element,  has,  to  other  many,  become  not  only  a 
real  but  as  definite  a  cognomen  as  oxygen  itself, 
with  which  it  is  indeed  most  closely  related.  Ether, 
the  atmosphere  which  the  mind  inhales  so  long  as  it 
needs  to  inhale  anything  to  sustain  its  relation  with 
the  physical  body — ether,  which  is  the  envelope  and 
the  interpenetrating  vitality  of  the  earth's  atmos- 
pheric envelope — the  existence  of  this  ether  as  a 
condition  of  mental  life  on  the  Mortal  Plane  and 
as  the  body  of  the  mind  on  the  next  plane,  and 
hence  as  the  medium  of  communication  between 
the  two  spheres:  This  is  the  first  lesson  to  be 
learned  concerning  PSYCHIC  LAW." 

I  had  interrupted  this  dictation  by  a  hundred 
questions  which  practically  the  lecture  answers.  At 
its  close,  my  husband  said,  "You  are -to  take  two 
more  lectures  immediately,  for  record.  They  will 
be  transmitted  very  rapidly  on  what  may  be  called 
the  high  tide  of  the  etheric  sea.  The  title  of  the 
second  lecture  is  'Recognition.' ' 


LECTURE  II 

RECOGNITION 

44TJ  ECOGNITION  depends  on  continuous 
JLV  identity.  In  its  nonnal  state  the  mind  is 
robed  in  ether.  Its  fleshly  encasement  is  abnormal 
to  mind,  and  also  the  being  that  the  self  knows  as 
self  even  while  residing  in  the  fleshly  body.  There- 
fore, death,  which  to  the  flesh  body  and  to  the  earth- 
bound  spirit  is  revolting  and  repugnant,  is  to  the 
mind,  as  also  to  the  Self,  disrobed  of  flesh,  only  a 
pleasant  transition.  Even  in  its  mortal  encasement, 
the  mind  always  knows  itself  to  be  different  from 
the  carnal  instrument  which  it  uses  in  the  accom- 
plishment of  its  earthly  purposes.  So  soon  as  the 
mind  discovers  that  the  ether ic  realm  to  which  it 
has  gone  is  one  in  substance  with  that  element  with-, 
in  the  earth's  atmosphere  on  which  it  subsisted 
when  in  the  body,  and  which  is  its  own  element,  it 
knows  that  it  can  move  out  of  the  etheric  realm  and 
descend  to  its  former  home  by  virtue  of  this  unity 
of  elemental  character. 

"The  next  desire  of  the  mind,  of  the  entity,  of 
the  ego,  is  to  be  recognized  when  it  returns. 

"One  of  the  most  painful  experiences  of  the 
human  soul  is  to  seek  out  its  own,  either  only  to 
find  that  they  were  not  its  own,  that  the  relation 

301 


302    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

was  but  temporary  and  easily  dispensed  with,  or  to 
find  its  own  oblivious  to  its  persistent  presence  and 
inaccessible  to  its  solicitations. 

"Earth  is  sometimes  densely  covered  with  visit- 
ing spirits,  who  can  not  gain  admission  to  their 
former  homes,  who  find  indeed  the  heart  of  the 
very  nearest  one  locked  and  bolted  against  their 
possible  intrusion. 

"The  etheric  path  makes  return  possible.  What 
shall  secure  recognition? 

"If  the  returned  spirits  find  that  friends  have 
grown  inconstant,  the  particular  circumstances  will 
dictate  their  course.  If  really  faithless  because  of 
inherent  shallowness  of  feeling,  then,  if  the  returned 
spirit  is  also  shallow,  a  sense  of  pique  or  disgust, 
such  as  under  similar  circumstances  he  would  in  his 
own  mortal  state  have  felt,  is  all.  He  returns  to 
the  Etheric  Plane  rather  relieved  than  otherwise  to 
feel  quite  free  to  forget  the  past,  and  'to  seek  fresh 
fields  and  pastures  new.'  If,  however,  he  discerns 
that  the  apparent  infidelity  is  produced  by  an  hon- 
est skepticism  of  his  own  continued  existence,  con- 
tinued identity  and  consequent  continuing  affection, 
he  is  filled  with  pity  for  the  pain  born  of  ignorance 
and  sets  about  trying  to  remove  the  pain  by  im- 
parting new  knowledge. 

"During  the  last  decade  hundreds  of  books,  whicH 
the  writers  very  honestly  consider  original,  have 
been  written  by  men  and  women  on  suggestion 


APPENDIX  303 

from  returned  spirit  who  desire  to  increase  the 
knowledge  of  the  world  about  the  nature,  the  en- 
vironment, the  capacities  and  the  habits  of  its 
tenant  after  the  death  of  its  mortal  body.  The  sum 
total  of  influence  exerted  by  such  books  has  been 
very  great  and  has  affected  the  attitude  of  the  com- 
mon mind  through  three  classes  of  people. 

"(a)  Scientists  have  begun  to  seek  by  scientific 
investigation  a  knowledge  of  spirit. 

"(b)  Religious  people  of  divers  creeds  are  re- 
minding one  another  that  angel  visitations,  com- 
munciations  made  by  the  dead  to  the  living  through 
dreams  and  visions,  are  assumed  and  related  in  all 
sacred  books  and  constitute  a  part  of  the  evangelis- 
tic record  of  the  Apostles. 

"(c)  The  human  heart  has  profited  as  much  by 
civilization  and  progress  as  has  any  other  part  of 
the  human  being;  and  the  human  heart,  grown  more 
tender,  refined  and  sensitive,  is  more  susceptible  to 
the  presence  of  spirit  than  it  has  been  in  any  pre- 
ceding age. 

"The  first  condition  of  personal,  individual 
recognition  is  of  course  the  acknowledgment  in 
one  or  another  way  of  a  spirit's  presence. 

"This  acknowledgment  being  received,  the  next 
thing  is  to  arrest  the  attention  of  the  friend  still  in 
mortal  encasement  long  enough  to  make  him  realise 
his  (i.  e.,  the  returned  spirit's)  presence. 

"This  is  the  crucial  point  and  the  difficulty  lies 


304    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

in  the  different  rates  of  speed  with  which  thought 
is  generated  by  the  incarnate  and  the  excarnate 
entity. 

"Fifty  million  miles  per  second  is  the  rate  at 
which  disembodied  thought  travels,  while  thought 
embodied  travels  with  any  definite  perception  of 
what  lies  along  its  route  at  less  than  one-twentieth 
of  this  speed.  Now,  recognition  between  two  peo- 
ple always  depends  on  their  being  at  the  same  place 
at  the  same  time,  and  it  consists  in  each  one's  being 
conscious  that  the  other  one  is  there. 

"As  it  is  almost  invariably  the  excarnate  spirit 
that  is  first  familiar  with  the  fact  of  the  spirit's 
ability  to  return  to  earth,  it  is  the  excarnate,  too, 
that  must  solve  the  problems  of  recognition.  Prac- 
tically this  means  that  the  excarnate  spirit  must 
retard  his  natural  pace  until'  it  is  reduced  to  one- 
twentieth  of  his  normal  speed;  a  feat  just  as 
difficult  as  it  would  be  on  the  Earth  Plane  to  devise 
a  means  of  raising  any  given  rate  of  speed  to  its 
twentieth  power.  Thus  far  this  problem  has  been 
solved  in  but  two  ways. 

"One  is  in  traveling  over  many  times  the  distance 
to  be  traversed  so  that  the  excarnate  soul,  granted 
that  it  start  at  the  same  moment  with  the  incarnate, 
may  meet  at  the  definite  point  fixed  on  by  the  for- 
mer. 

"Here  you  must  recall  that  the  returning  spirit 
has  been  endeavoring  for  a  long  time  to  obtain 
recognition.  He  first  attempts  to  command  it  by 


APPENDIX 


re  ferring  to  trivial  personal  incidents,  because  these 
are  the  most  likely  to  arrest  the  interest  of  the  friend 
whom  he  is  trying  to  awaken  to  his  presence.  Often 
the  result  is  exactly  the  opposite  of  what  he  had 
anticipated.  As  what  he  says  is  personal,  it  is 
probably  trivial  and  is  therefore  repudiated  with  an 
assertion  like  'one  would  not  return  from  the  grave 
to  talk  about  old  clothes  or  a  fishing  excursion.' 

"This  repudiation  of  the  most  natural  method  of 
establishing  one's  identity  arises  from  the  vague, 
but  utterly  unreasonable  assumption  that  death  has 
quite  transformed  its  victims;  that,  having  passed 
through  that  experience,  one  no  longer  retains 
knowledge  of  trifling  mundane  experiences.  Some- 
times a  soul  filled  with  the  sense  of  the  freedom 
that  results  from  dropping  the  body  seeks  to  tell 
something  of  its  present  state  and  occupations. 
These  are  of  necessity  so  harmonious  with  his  tastes 
while  on  earth  that  again  what  he  says  is  rejected 
for  the  same  reason  that  reference  to  incidents  in 
his  earthly  career  were  unconvincing.  Many  people 
insist  on  supposing  that  death  equalizes  all  souls; 
gives  all  similar  tastes  and  similar  conditions  pro- 
viding they  were,  while  here,  God-fearing  and 
humanity-serving  souls.  This  is  as  untrue  as  any 
one  with  a  little  independent  reflection  would  see  it 
to  be  absurd. 

"Men's  bodies  are  much  more  alike  than  their 
minds;  so  in  reality  death  robs  men  of  that  organ 
through  which  their  resemblance  was  most  easily; 


3o6    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

established.  Souls,  being  so  dissimilar,  when  they 
commence,  after  getting  recognition,  to  tell  of  their 
present  state,  will  give  very  diverse  testimony,  and 
this  upsets  many  people. 

"However,  gaining  recognition,  although  difficult, 
is  not  impossible;  and  it  is  most  easily  done,  by 
what,  prior  to  experience,  would  seem  the  most  dif- 
ficult of  all  methods,  viz. :  by  quickening  the  con- 
sciousness of  the  friends  remaining  on  earth.  This 
process  is  very  long  and  trying,  involving  great 
patience  and  painstaking,  but  in  the  end  it  is  the 
most  satisfactory.  The  returned  spirit  approaches 
his  still  incarnate  friend,  and,  if  possible,  gets,  so 
to  speak,  within  the  friend's  atmosphere,  and,  once 
there,  the  visitor  concentrates  on  the  aura  of  his 
friend  until  the  latter  feels  something  unusual.  The 
person  approached  does  not  understand  or  at  first 
can  not  explain  his  sensations;  he  only  perceives 
that  he  feels  peculiar,  and  by  and  by  he  finds  his 
thoughts  dwelling  on  his  departed  friend.  The  re- 
turned friend  is  instantly  conscious  when  he  be- 
comes the  subject  of  reflection  and  he  lingers  near 
and  appeals  by  a  thousand  cunning  devices  to  his 
friend  until  the  latter  will  say  he  is  conscious  of 
the  visitor's  presence.  Usually  this  recognition  is 
only  grudgingly  acknowledged,  if  at  all.  For  ex- 
ample, you  will  hear  one  say,  'If  I  did  not  know  it 
to  be  impossible,  I  should  think  my  brother  was 
here  last  night.' 

"The   assumption   that   return   is   impossible   of 


APPENDIX  307 

course  retards  recognition  after  the  return  has  been 
accomplished. 

"A  curious  fact  is  that  consciousness  is  hardly 
realized  by  one  who  is  really  awakened.  This  is  due 
to  the  fact  that  spirit,  being  as  independent  of  time 
as  of  space,  moves  so  quickly  that  what,  measured 
by  time,  would  take  an  hour,  perhaps  two  hours,  to 
occur,  has  happened  really  in  an  instant. 

"The  spirit  still  embodied  'can  not  catch  more 
than  one  million  vibrations  a  minute,  while  the  dis- 
embodied spirit  will  execute  or  create  fifty  million 
-vibrations  a  second.  Hence  the  difference  between 
the  production  of  the  one  and  the  appreciation  of 
the  other  is  so  great  that  a  recognition  actually  ex- 
perienced is  often  doubted  the  moment  after  one 
has  been  clearly  conscious  of  it.  The  consciousness, 
in  itself  perfect,  was  for  so  brief  a  period  that  when 
past  it  is  easier  for  the  average  mind  to  doubt  and 
to  deny  than  it  is  for  it  to  credit,  retain  and  ex- 
amine. 

"Perhaps  this  is  not  clear;  but  it  may  be  illus- 
trated by  the  experiences  of  travel. 

"When  on  a  train  which  is  going  at  the  rate  of 
sixty  miles  per  hour  a  hundred  objects  are  prac- 
tically unseen,  which  would  be  individually  per- 
ceived if  on  a  train  moving  at  twenty  miles  per 
hour.  We  know  they  are  seen,  *.  e.,  that  they 
passed  or  were  passed  before  the  eyes,  but  they 
were  not  grasped  by  the  mind,  i.  e.,  by  the  real  ob- 
server, because  the  mind  so  long  as  it  is  encased  in 


NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 


flesh  can  not  keep  up  with  the  express  train.  The 
mind  is,  however,  really  much  fleeter  than  any  train, 
and  to  the  degree  that  it  can  concentrate,  it  is  prac- 
tically disembodied  and  will  therefore  apprehend 
or  become  conscious  of  the  presence  of  a  spirit  be- 
cause, in  concentration,  it  is  freed  to  a  degree  from 
the  thraldom  of  physical  matter. 

"There  is  no  magic  in  darkness;  none  in  silence 
and  none  in  solitude  —  except  that  under  these  con- 
ditions, i.  e.,  alone,  qidet  and  in  the  dark,  it  is  easier 
to  concentrate. 

"A  spirit  can  walk  in  the  light,  but,  clad  in  ether, 
which  has  many  qualities  of  light,  it  can  not  be  seen 
in  the  light.  A  spirit  can  speak  in  any  noise,  but 
noise,  i.  e.,  loud  or  discordant  sound,  breaks  the 
etheric  current  so  that  its  voice  can  not  be  dis- 
tinguished. A  spirit  can  walk  by  a  friend's  side  in 
a  crowd;  but  the  crowd  so  emphasizes  itself  upon 
the  attention  of  one  who  is  yet  seeing  through  the 
bodily  eye  that  the  spirit  can  neither  be  seen  nor  felt. 
Now,  you  will  understand  why  one,  in  studying 
this  subject  and  investigating  its  phenomena,  must 
work  alone,  in  subdued  light  and  in  silence. 

"There  is  nothing  uncanny,  nothing  in  any  sense 
unnatural  about  this  any  more  than  there  is  in  the 
laws  that  govern  investigation  in  any  other  field. 

"Even  in  the  physical  world,  when  we  are  all  on 
.the  same  plane,  we  take  pains  to  arrange  the  con- 
ditions so  that  we  can  receive  pur  friends  in  the 


APPENDIX  309 

way  that  will  enable  us  to  get  and  to  give  the  most 
satisfaction  during  their  visits. 

"One  friend  likes  to  go  with  us  to  market;  an- 
other likes  best  to  meet  her  friends  when  she  and 
they  are  in  elegant  costumes,  all  aiding  the  radiance 
of  a  brilliant  party;  another  likes  to  meet  his  friends 
in  a  game;  another  to  read  aloud  or  to  be  read  to; 
still  others  like  best  to  come  into  some  retreat — a 
library,  a  study,  a  studio,  a  sewing-room,  a  den, 
where  in  the  conditions  best  suited  to  each,  each  will 
disclose  her  own  nature  and  study  that  of  her  host 
or  hostess. 

"Excarnates,  if  refined,  Conservative  and  retiring, 
like  to  see  their  friends  in  solitude,  silence  and  twi- 
light; but  there  are  excarnate  humans  that  visit 
their  friends  only  at  seances,  public  camps  or  places 
where  crowds  congregate,  or  in  smaller  but  still 
miscellaneous  assemblies. 

"The  laws  that  govern  individuality  are  much 
better  obeyed  on  the  Etheric  than  on  the  Physical 
Plane,  and  here  the  law  that  'like  attracts  like'  holds 
good." 


LECTURE  III 


COMMUNICATION  BY  VIBRATION 


4  4  ^TpHE  third  lecture  is  entitled  :    The  Vibratory 
JL     System    of    Communication    Between    the 
Two  Planes,  vis.  :  Earth  and  Ether,'  but  as  this  is 
too  long  a  title,  I  shall  abbreviate  it  thus  : 

COMMUNICATION  BY  VIBRATION 

"Now,  take  a  new  book,  write  the  title  and  hold 
yourself  quite  passive  while  I  dictate  an  explana- 
tion of  this  marvelous  system,  which  may  be  com- 
pared to  the  nervous  system  of  the  human  body, 
since  as  the  nerves  connect  every  portion  of  the 
body,  both  to  its  great  centers  and  to  its  tenant, 
so  the  vibratory  system  connects  all  parts  of  the 
Solar  System,  of  which  it  is  a  part,  with  one  an- 
other and  with  their  common  center,  which  may 
be  called  the  Cosmic  tenant. 

"This  lecture  you  will  find  newer  to  your 
thoughts,  more  surprising  and  interesting  than  the 
others.  Please  be  quick.  Why  do  I  hurry  you  so? 
Because  we  tenants  of  etheric  bodies  can  not  wait 
near  you  very  well,  as  we  have  nothing  to  hold  us 
down,  and,  besides,  Rubinstein  and  Pere  Conde  are 
almost  as  anxious  to  get  acquainted  with  you  as 
you  are  with  them,  and  it  has  been  decided  that 
neither  may  speak  a  word  to  you  until  your  ability 
to  receive  has  been  tested  by  one  more  lecture.'* 

310 


APPENDIX  3-11 

'Beginning  of  Lecture  Proper 

"Communication  between  spheres  is  made  pos- 
sible by  the  fact  that  ether,  which  is  common  to 
both  the  ante-  and  the  post-mortem  planes,  and  which 
is  believed  to  be  common  to  all  spheres  within  the 
Solar  System,  has  the  quality  which  enables  it  to 
receive  and  transmit  vibrations  of  all  kinds,  no  mat' 
ter  on  what  plane  or  in  what  source  they  originate. 

"Vibrations  depend  on  threads  of  connection. 
These  threads  are  furnished  by  means  of  memory 
on  the  one  side  and  of  hope  on  the  other,  so  long 
as  memory  and  hope  continue  to  affect  both  the 
spirits  who  have  departed  from  earth  and  those 
that  remain  on  it.  By  these  sentiments  souls  that 
are  physically  separated  by  death  are  brought  to- 
gether. 

"Memory  and  hope,  and  all  other  sentiments, 
passions  and  emotions  have  each  a  material  cover- 
ing so  very  delicate  that  it  is  invisible  and  intangible 
to  those  still  embodied  in  flesh.  One  of  the  first 
pleasant  discoveries  made  by  the  departed  human 
(who  may  be  called  soul,  spirit,  mind,  ego,  as  you 
will)  is  that,  although  the  flesh  body  was  left  on 
earth,  he  is  not  without  a  body,  i.  e.,  a  covering  for 
all  his  faculties  and  functions — i.  e.,  for  himself. 
One  of  the  qualities  of  this  covering  of  the  senti- 
ments is  that,  when  active,  it  is  projected  in  the 
direction  of  the  object  of  its  desire. 

"People  who  are  reciprocally  sympathetic,  con- 
genial as  we  say,  are  bound  together  by  the  senti- 


[NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 


ments  we  have  mentioned.  Those  who  love  think 
of  each  other  after  death  has  separated  them 
physically.  Their  thoughts,  clothed  in  a  substance 
as  real  as  granite,  but  so  delicate  that  a  cobweb  is 
gross  by  comparison,  send  this  substance  out  like 
feelers.  Such  sentiments  on  the  part  of  each  act  as 
magnets  to  the  corresponding  sentiments  of  the 
other;  and  being  projected  in  the  ether  (which  is 
the  only  atmosphere  of  the  post-mortem  state  and 
also  the  intercellular  matter  and  the  envelope  of 
the  earth's  atmosphere),  and  being  reciprocally  at- 
tractive, they  find  each  other.  A  junction  of  'this 
fine  matter  which  constitutes  the  clothing  of  the 
affections  and  sentiments  follows;  and  when  this 
junction  is  effected  the  soul  in  the  post-mortem 
sphere  will  know  that  such  junction  has  taken  place, 
and  the  joy  which  in  consequence  of  this  conscious- 
ness will  agitate  his  whole  being,  will  cause  a  vibra- 
tion of  this  thread  of  connection  which  often  results 
in  a  semi-consciousness  and  sometimes  in  entire  con- 
sciousness on  the  part  of  the  spirit  still  flesh  em- 
bodied. Then  the  still  flesh  embodied  person  will 
often  say,  'I  feel  as  if  -  were  here.'  'I  am 
conscious  of  his  presence/  and  he  will  sometimes 
add,  'I  really  could  almost  believe  I  felt  his  touch.' 

"Who  that  has  lost  any  dearly  beloved  friend  has 
not  had  this  experience? 

"The  mother  feels  as  if  the  lost  child  were  really 
once  more  pillowed  on  her  bosom.  The  wife  feels 
almost  certain  that  her  husband  is  present,  trying 


APPENDIX  313 

to  advise,  aid  and  protect  her.  The  simple  fact  is 
that  the  nominally  dead  and  supposedly  absent 
friend  really  is  present. 

"Sometimes,  probably  often,  perhaps  usually, 
when  people  die  they  do  depart  from  their  accus- 
tomed places;  but  when  they  do  so,  it  is  not  death 
that  compels  or  causes  their  departure.  Death 
makes  the  occasion  for  them  to  depart  if  there  is 
no  permanent  tie  between  them  and  those  from 
whom  death  physically  separates  them. 

"In  cases  where  the  death  of  the  flesh  body  has 
not  been  seized  upon  as  an  opportunity  to  escape 
from  uncongenial  relationship,  the  soul,  finding  that 
it  can  reach  its  mourning  loved  ones  by  these  thread- 
like garments  of  its  emotions,  which  possess  the 
curious  qualities  of  expansion  and  contraction  and 
of  extension  and  withdrawal,  works  arduously, 
through  these  qualities,  to  awaken  consciousness  in 
those  whom  his  death  has  bereaved. 

"Love  is  the  most  vital,  i.  e.,  the  most  powerful 
of  all  the  emotions,  but  it  is  not  the  only  one  that 
seeks  to  reach  those  still  left  on  earth.  Revenge, 
envy,  hatred  and  all  the  evil  passions  have  also  this 
attenuated  garment  of  finer  matter,  and  souls  that 
feel  these  passions  are  goaded  by  them  into  activity. 
They  all  seek  their  victims  with  the  same  result  of 
effecting  a  juncture  through  the  emotion,  whatever 
it  may  be,  that  binds  two  souls  together. 

"Each  of  these  fine  threads  of  connection  may  be 
charged  with  the  whole  force  of  the  soul  experienc- 


314    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

ing  it;  hence  the  strength  and  consequent  length  of 
any  vibration  will  be  determined  by  the  strength  of 
the  soul  producing  it. 

"These  vibrations  are  sometimes  so  delicate  that 
their  only  expression,  i.  e.,  their  only  communicated 
appreciable  influence,  is  a  slightly  reduced  tempera- 
ture that  may  be  likened  to  the  passing  of  the  light- 
est of  cool  soft  breezes  over  the  face  or  hands. 
'Again  the  breeze  expressing  the  presence  may  be 
so  strong,  definite  and  pronounced  that  it  would  not 
be  unlike  an  electric  shock. 

"The  vibratory  theory  of  the  emotional  connec- 
tion of  the  two  planes  of  being,  here  expounded,  is 
comparable  with  and  related  to  the  vibratory  theory 
of  light,  heat,  motion  and  other  qualities  which 
either  belong  to  physical  matter  or  are  expressed 
through  it. 

"Ether,  almost  infinitely  more  delicate  than  the 
earth's  atmosphere,  is  of  course  proportionally 
more  sensitive  and  more  fluid. 

"As  a  word  uttered,  even  in  a  whisper,  causes 
the  atmosphere  to  vibrate  and  through  this  vibra- 
tion carries  the  word  to  the  ear,  so  a  thought  affects 
ether,  causes  a  vibration  in  the  etheric  realm  and 
is  conveyed  to  the  ear  of  the  listener  by  a  series  of 
etheric  waves  which  are  set  in  motion  by  this  vibra- 
tion. 

"There  are  many  degrees  of  acuteness  in  the 
senses  of  hearing  and  seeing  on  the  earth,  or  what 
we  may  here  for  convenience  call  the  Atmospheric 


APPENDIX  313 

Plane,  and  whatever  degree  of  acuteness  one  may 
seem  naturally  to  possess  may  be  cultivated  or 
diminished  according  to  its  use. 

"We  know  that  much  of  nominal  deafness  is  in- 
attention arising  from  indifference;  and  we  also 
know  that  a  veritable  impairment  of  the  hearing 
may  be  retarded,  reduced  and  almost  defied  by  an 
alert  attention  and  by  that  determined  will  to  hear  as 
much  as  possible  which  results  in  the  habitual  listen- 
ing attitude. 

"If  the  bereaved  person  who  suddenly  feels  as 
if  the  departed  loved  one  were  present,  instead  of 
denying  the  possibility  of  such  a  manifestation, 
would  assume  the  listening  attitude,  the  receptive 
condition,  whatever  degree  of  sensitiveness  to 
etheric  conditions  he  may  possess,  would  be  aug- 
mented, and,  moreover,  such  thoughts,  desires,  an- 
ticipations would  continue  the  vibrations  originating 
in  the  etheric  realm;  cause  new  vibrations  respond- 
ing to  the  former  like  an  echo;  and  consequently 
would  create  gradually  through  the  use  of  these 
vibrations  a  pathway  for  the  planned,  intentional 
interchange  of  thoughts,  feelings,  etc.,  between  the 
Etheric  and  the  Atmospheric  Planes. 

"This  is  so  simple  that  it  will  be  rejected  by  'the 
wise  in  their  own  conceit,'  but  the  really  simple- 
minded  wise  will  consider  and  test;  they  will  apply 
the  scientific  method,  for  this  is  a  matter  entirely 
within  the  realm  of  science,  not  affecting  religion 
at  all,  except  as  all  increased  knowledge  of  the  mys- 


316    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

teries  of  the  universe  and  all  new  perception  of  the 
significance  of  the  phrase  that  'man  is  fearfully  and 
wonderfully  made'  may  naturally  increase  reverence 
and  awe  for  the  Power  thus  revealed  through 
works,  which  man  knows  are  not  his  works. 

"This  is  not  a  question  of  faith  in  any  other 
sense  than  planting  a  seed,  manning  a  ship,  firing 
an  engine,  etc.,  etc.,  is  a  question  of  faith.  As 
has  often  been  remarked,  faith  is  the  basis  of  all 
human  relations  and  is  at  the  bottom  of  all  human 
operations.  Thus  faith  in  the  universal  operation 
of  law-faith,  that  the  same  causes,  under  like  con- 
ditions, will  be  followed  by  the  same  effects,  which 
indeed  may  be  called  scientific  faith — bases  both  in- 
ductive and  deductive  reasoning. 

"If  one  can  imagine  the  very  first  farmer,  one 
who  had  seen  neither  seed-time  nor  harvest,  or 
rather  one  who,  born  at  harvest,  knew  nothing  of 
seed-time,  one  will  see  that  it  would  require  as  much 
faith  to  see  the  oak  tree  in  the  acorn,  the  loaf  of 
bread  in  the  grass-like  blade  of  wheat  as  it  requires 
to  realize  communication  between  the  post-mortem 
and  ante-mortem  planes  of  life  by  one  who  has 
never  experienced  it.  However,  this  illustration  is 
used  to  justify  the  assertion  that  this  is  a  matter  to 
be  investigated  by  the  scientific  method. 

"Science  observes  phenomena,  discerns  conditions 
and  circumstances,  classifies  facts,  draws  inferences, 
and  finally  states  a  theory.  The  theory  that  bears 


APPENDIX  317 

the  test  of  application  finally  comes  to  be  regarded 
as  a  law. 

"This  is  what  is  demanded  by  the  theory  of  the 
vibratory  connection  of  the  two  worlds.  Shall  it 
be  found  to  bear  the  test  of  experience,  it  will  have 
no  effect  on  Methodism,  Presbyterianism  or  any 
other  form  of  religious  belief.  Science  can  and  will 
prove  one  of  the  fundamental  principles  of  Chris- 
tianity, viz. :  Immortality,  which  depends  on  the 
existence  of  soul,  of  mind  (the  intelligent  tenant, 
under  whatever  name  one  pleases  to  indicate  it) 
apart  from  matter  as  those  still  on  earth  know  mat- 
ter— i.  e.,  apart  from  the  flesh  tenement. 

"This  method  of  communication  has  been  known 
to  great  psychics  of  different  lands  for  several  cen- 
turies; but  nowadays  progress  is  tested  by  the  dis- 
tribution of  its  benefits  rather  than  by  distinct  ad- 
ditions to  them;  and  the  time  is  at  hand  when  this 
communication  between  the  ante-  and  the  post- 
mortem states  will  be  the  privilege  of  all,  and  it  will 
become  as  general  as  communication  by  the  use  of 
written  and  printed  symbols  now  is. 

"You  say  that  it  will  be  quite  impossible  for  any 
but  that  small  section  of  the  cultured  who  are  given 
to  reflection  either  to  understand  or  to  acquire  the 
use  of  this  method. 

"In  reply,  I  will  ask:  How  many  people  who 
use  the  telephone  and  the  telegraph  really  under- 
stand the  nature  of  electricity,  the  construction  of 


3i8    NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

the  machines  employed  or  the  principles  involved  in 
their  use  ? 

"This  general  ignorance  of  substance  and  of, 
modus  operandi  does  not  interfere  with  the  use  of 
those  means  of  communication  between  people  at 
different  points  of  space  on  earth,  nor  will  the  gen- 
eral ignorance  of  psychology  prevent  people  from 
receiving  the  benefits  of  this  system  of  communica- 
tion between  people  in  different  states  and  condi- 
tions of  being. 

"As  there  must  be  some  who  understand  to  some 
degree  the  nature  of  electricity,  in  order  that  they 
may  manipulate  telegraphic  and  telephonic  instru- 
ments— so  there  must  be  some  who  to  some  degree 
understand  the  nature  of  ether  and  the  qualities  of 
etheric  magnetism,  in  order  that  there  may  be  in- 
telligent mediums  for  communicating  between  the 
two  sections  of  human  life — for  one  who  has  died 
is  just  as  human  as  one  who  is  to  die;  I  may  say 
he  is  just  as  mortal — since  neither  is  in  himself 
mortal  at  all. 

"Magnetism  is  the  essence  or  substance  next  to 
electricity,  when  one  regards  their  relative  degrees 
of  subtlety — and  beyond  magnetism,  above  it  in 
subtlety,  is  thought. 

"Thought  is  ultimately  as  independent  of  mag- 
netism as  electricity  already  is  of  wires.  Now 
etheric  magnetism  is  the  wire  on  which  thought 
travels  between  flesh-encased  and  unfleshed  souls. 
This  proves  that  this,  i.  e.,  etheric  magnetism,  is  not 


APPENDIX  319 

properly  identified  with  animal  magnetism.  A 
prejudice  against  magnetism  exists  in  the  minds  of 
many  who  associate  its  generation  with  unpleasant 
personalities. 

"That  prejudice  is  akin  to  the  feeling  against  the 
above-ground  wires  which  in  all  large  cities  are  so 
unsightly,  inconvenient  and  even  dangerous.  The 
parallel  may  go  further  for  the  corpulent  gross 
physiques  which  are  regarded  as  the  generators  of 
physical  magnetism  are  unsightly,  disagreeable  and 
inconvenient  and  their  magnetic  product  is  dan- 
gerous. 

"What  is  etheric  magnetism?  It  is  the  principle 
of  vitality  in  that  finer  atmosphere  which  not  only 
surrounds  the  earth  planet  and  its  atmosphere,  but 
surrounds  every  individual  like  an  envelope,  isolat- 
ing each  in  some  degree  from  all  the  rest.  We  have 
the  phrases,  'So  and  so  has  a  pleasant  atmosphere/ 
'an  agreeable  atmosphere,'  'an  harmonious  atmos- 
phere.' This  is  a  literal  statement  of  fact,  just  as 
real,  just  as  provable  as  any  other  physical  fact 
that  can  be  stated  about  a  person.  Reduced  to  the 
scientific  form,  the  assertion  that  you  like  or  dislike 
a  person  means  that  you  are  affected  agreeably  or 
disagreeably  by  the  magnetism  that  he  generates, 
which  is  the  expression  of  his  personality. 

"The  envelope  of  the  individual  which  is  the  ex- 
tension beyond  the  physical  form,  (».  e.,  beyond  the 
flesh  encasement  of  the  soul)  is  the  ether  which 
interpenetrates  all  the  tissue  of  the  flesh  body,  hav- 


320     NEITHER  DEAD  NOR  SLEEPING 

ing  the  same  form  that  the  flesh  has.  This  survives 
death,  and  is  the  body  with  which  the  mind,  the 
entity,  finds  itself  clothed  after  death.  The  element 
which  is  the  life  and  power  of  ether  is  etheric  mag- 
netism. 

"This  element  will  be  used  continually  by  P&re 
Conde,  Rubinstein  and  myself  as  we  minister  to 
you,  instruct  and  guide  you.  In  all  our  work  we 
shall  be  consciously  demonstrating  not  only  the 
vibratory  theory  which  this  lecture  expounds,  but 
also  all  of  the  principles  of  Psychic  Law  given  in 
the  first  two  lectures." 


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